A photograph of a smiling Helen Rebellow, guest expert in front of a beautiful sea landscape

Episode 69 – Guest Helen Rebello talks about intentional living

In this podcast, Lesley talks to Helen Rebello. Helen is an author, intuitive mentor and women's empowerment educator who loves helping midlife women to fulfill their potential, without stressing for striving.

In the modern world, many of us approach mid life with a sense of 'what's this all about?' Helen and Lesley discuss what happens when overwhelm and unfulfillment in modern life takes over. Too much stuff is often a symptom of something much deeper and we discuss how intentional living can set us back on the right track with our lives and our belongings.

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Transcript of this podcast episode

Intro  0:07  
Welcome to today's episode of The declutter hub podcast, your channel for super easy, no nonsense advice on how to declutter and organise your home. Please welcome your host, professional organisers, Ingrid Jansen and Lesley Spellman.

Lesley  0:28  
Hello, and welcome listeners to Episode 69 of the declutter her podcast. I'm Lesley. Within the declutter hub, Ingrid and I aim to help and inspire people trying to get through the overwhelm of a cluttered home. We have podcasts, guest blogs, checklists and free challenges. And we also have an exclusive member's area where we guide people step by step to each area of your home with courses, live q&a sessions, challenges, quick wins and our community chat. In today's episode, I'm talking to Helen Rebello. Helen empowers midlife women who feel unfulfilled to connect with themselves at a deeper level. So they can work out who they are, and what they want, unlock the courage to live and work in a way that feeds their soul. Helen is also an accomplished author of the magical unfolding. So welcome, Helen. I'm sorry. I just can't even tell you how excited I am. And I'll tell you, I'm excited because we met didn't we, Helen in September at a membership conference up in Newcastle?

Helen  1:29  
We certainly did. And it was it was love at first sight.

Lesley  1:33  
It was I feel as if Ingrid and I might have led you astray a little bit because we did keep you in the bar a lot longer than you perhaps wanted to. Am I right?

Helen  1:42  
No, I don't think that's true. I think I allowed myself to be led astray.

Lesley  1:49  
Alright, that I was like, Oh, I'm sure she wants to go to bed early. And we kept chatting for hours. Now so we were so Helen's also got a membership sites for her lovely clients, that she runs the same that we've got our Dakota hub members area. And so we were a membership conference up in Newcastle and we were all with lots of people who were very excited about memberships, weren't we? And we had lots of social time as well. And as Helen said, it was something about Ingrid, Helen and I that really, really connected. And so we spent quite a lot of time together at the conference, didn't we? Helen is a lovely, lovely. So as soon as we saw her, we were like you need to come on our podcast, because a lot of the things that Helen does, and we do, there's a huge overlap. That's why we invited you as a guest on our podcast, Helen. So welcome. I will allow me to spank you.

Helen  2:37  
First quite all right. I just I just want to thank you and talk about what a lovely time we had.

Lesley  2:43  
I know, I don't think people want a full unravelling for two days in Newcastle. So let's talk a little bit about you and what you do. I was doing my homework on your website this morning. And there was something that I read straight away that really hooked me in and resonated when I was doing the sort of research for the podcasts. And it was these few lines. There's a huge increase in stress and overwhelm in the western world as we become more disconnected from ourselves. It's an epidemic of modern life, leaving you feeling unfulfilled and like you're spinning endlessly on a roller coaster without a stop button. Life is too short to spend it living in constant overwhelm, striving for things without knowing why and breaking ourselves in the process. I found that so enlightening and fascinating. And it actually seems like a good place to start as any. So let's talk about the kinds of stress and overwhelm people fail in the modern world. Yes, so

Helen  3:39  
I wrote that because I have had the benefit of working one to one with people, both as a health professional and as more of an Eastern medicine professional and a mentor. And the biggest thing that's been apparent to me in all of those years of working one to one with people is seeing how many of us live in a state of fight or flight as our default setting. And so our nervous systems, especially now more than ever, where we have so many inputs coming at us every minute of the day, and we have the whole world in our pocket on our smartphone, it's not even, not even in a bag somewhere or in these days, it's in people's pockets. So we are constantly switched on and responding outwardly to incoming messages. We have just these needs in these polls coming at us from every direction. And we have evolved to the point especially as women were having once upon a time really wanted it all we're now realising we have too much because this is not just women of course But we're in particularly, we're kind of brought up naturally. And we're wired more naturally to want to care for everybody around us and to serve other people's needs. And we do this subconsciously without realising it. And so we, we just end up putting out energy all of the time. And taking very little time back for ourselves. We don't we don't even realise we're doing it like this is not a judgement. Because I've been there. We've all been there this, this is just the reality of modern life.

Lesley  5:34  
Yeah, I think it's an interesting one that you talk about it in particular with women, Helen, and this isn't a generalisation, I guess, but it's certainly my experience, which is, I feel as if women, I'm trying to explain to him that women tend to bear the burden of responsibility for the home. That doesn't mean to say that the chores, and things that need to be done around the home are not split equally between two partners. But women tend to do the feeling tend to do the worrying. And you can see that we're running a challenge at the moment. And literally, I don't think we've got a single man in our challenge that we're running. And so it's definitely women that are connecting with the fact that we've got cluttered homes and a feeling that overwhelm. So you're absolutely right. There's something in the way that we are wired, then perhaps as women, and of course, we're women that are not wired in that way. And there are men are wired in that way. So who do you actually work with Helen, so why does somebody come to you?

Helen  6:26  
So generally speaking, I tend to work mostly with midlife women, and I would say 90% of them are in a profession where they're caring for people in some way. So historically, I've worked a lot with women from the service sectors, you know, radiographers, teachers, police, doctors, nurses. And then as I've started moving more into doing mentoring, I because I can be online now as well. I've started working a lot with coaches and creatives. And people like me, I suppose, really, who who have, they've just reached that point in their life where, you know, when you just wake up one day, I'm sure we've all had moments like this where you feel like, I don't know, it's almost like you're living Groundhog Day, every day. And you just get to that point when you when you think, is this all there is? Is this what life's about? And I think maybe there's something about midlife that gets people to ask these questions because I talk about midlife being a moment almost of Awakening people talk about a midlife crisis. I don't think it is a crisis. I think it's an awakening, I think it's an opportunity is like a signal from the universe to go. There's this thing you're not thinking about, which is time. And, yes, yes, it is a real thing. And, and maybe you might want to think about how you're using your time and consider whether maybe you might want to start using your time differently. Sometimes, if you order, you know, it's like this opportunity to ask yourself, whether you want to carry on the way you are, whether that's really meeting your needs, or whether you might want to tweak and change things.

Lesley  8:11  
I always have spoken many times really about the fact that I think people go through different cycles in different decades of their lives. You know, your 20s is definitely a period of growth. And then for many people in the 30s, that's when life really takes off. For many people also, that's when there have been families getting homes, building homes, that kind of thing. And the 40s is kind of status quo a little bit. And then the 50s were is probably the time that you're talking about midlife, I guess. Is that what you're talking about? 50s? Helen?

Helen  8:42  
It's debatable. I think it's a fluid thing.

Lesley  8:45  
Yeah, fluid thing where people and perhaps people have then got the time to think and reflect because other things are not getting to the end because it never gets to the end. But certainly things have calmed down a little bit in those big polls on time that we get in our 20s and 30s, where we're still building building ourselves up almost. And I suppose we have so many aspirations in our 20s and 30s. And perhaps, is it something like that? Am I getting this right?

Helen  9:13  
Yeah, I think that's perfectly said. Yeah, it's definitely it correlates with people, people who are either childless for some reason, and they've definitely waived that opportunity. Goodbye. And so and then they're waking up and going, Okay, well, how do I feel this space in my life that I wasn't expecting to have? Although some people are empty nesters, or I don't know, they've got to a certain point in their careers and they just think I'm kind of over this now. Or I think you're right. It's space is a really important thing. Because if you can't really stop and ask yourself these kinds of questions when you're constantly busy, and you are on this treadmill of life, so it's when something stops.

Lesley  9:57  
Yeah, definitely. I hope that you're happy to share how and why She shared it with us at the conference that you are childless yourself. And that's not something that's by desire. And so is that something that you'd be happy to share with us?

Helen  10:09  
Yeah, definitely. I was something I didn't talk about for years. And I shared it in my book. And I don't know who's like, that sets me free to talk about it more. And maybe I'm just so far from on the other side of it now, but it doesn't have that same emotional pull that it used to. But yeah, I'm childless by circumstance. And so it's interesting because I've worked a lot in the fields of Guinee, and fertility, both as a western medicine person and an Eastern medicine person, and then it was, so it's kind of weird that I ended up working in a field that then became quite contentious for me. So basically, I went, I won't go into it in huge detail, but I was able to get pregnant but not able to stay pregnant. And I felt like quite a failure as a result, because I was working as a shiatsu practitioner. And that was my first foray into this work. So I knew all about the energetics and the nutrition and the movement and all the things that I know ought to be doing. And I was doing them. And yet I still couldn't do this one thing every other woman in the planet seemed to be able to do, which is not true, but it's how it felt at the time. And so it forced me years later, when I finally had to accept that this path was over, which happened because I had a hysterectomy. So you know, there's no better final point than that. But that that brought me face to face with all of these questions about like, what, what was my worth, as a woman? If I couldn't do this thing that came naturally to so many other women? It gave me this reason to question purpose, why? Why am I here? What's it all about? Those kinds of bigger questions that maybe women get to naturally anyway, whether they have children or not, and maybe being being in that position of being childless by circumstance brought those questions to me sooner? I don't know.

Lesley  12:01  
I think what's What's always interesting to me when people don't have children, it's something that people also find very difficult to discuss with someone. So where other problems that people have and go through with life, people are open to asking, How are you feeling? Whereas I think it becomes almost like an unspoken thing, doesn't it when someone's childless, particularly if someone hasn't shared the details of how that's come about? Because you don't know whether a somebody has chosen that whether they are struggling to get pregnant, struggling to stay pregnant? There's so many ways and it's almost like a taboo subject that you don't want to raise it. Is that your experience of it, Helen, because I think it's always a very difficult one to raise and something that just is left unspoken. And so the natural mechanisms that we've got for dealing with problems that we've got in our lives are kind of taken away from us, because people are almost scared to raise it with the person. And so that's an added thing, isn't it? Really? And definitely,

Helen  12:59  
yeah, definitely. And, you know, I'm sure it contributes to a lot of the problems that you support people with.

Lesley  13:07  
It's interesting, because and that's why when we met you, and you're talking about unfulfilled people and and people's obsession with things and trying to be fulfilled through stuff, and I suppose that's where we were coming from when we spoke at the conference, was, we see lots of things that have happened in people's lives. And for many people, that can be a whole catalogue of things. It's not just one trigger point. You know, childhoods childlessness can be one loss. And effectively childlessness is, is I'm sure felt like a loss. It can be people who have had nothing as children are grown up with nothing. And so all of a sudden, they have the ability to buy. And so they then buy to access because they can because they couldn't as a child. So there are so many quite deep psychologies, which bring people to a point where they have too many things. And then it takes a while. And that's another reason why in midlife, it sort of almost takes that long for a lot of people for it to become critical in terms of, I can't live with this amount of stuff anymore, it's come to a critical breaking point, which needs to be resolved, you know, because it does take a while to collect and acquire this stuff. And normally it is when people are in the 40s and 50s. But all of a sudden it gets to that breaking point. So I guess we're looking at in two different ways. You're talking about people feeling unfulfilled and looking for more. And I'm talking about people feeling unfulfilled and looking for less stuff. But again, it might be less stuff, but it might be more experiences. I did a talk this week and I was talking to the people about that I definitely see a movement towards experiences not stuff, even in the way that people you know, back in Christmas, we're buying gifts and things like that. People were very much well I don't want to buy stuff anymore. I want to buy because we've become completely overwhelmed and consumed with stuff. That's amazing. That's, again, that's all about this clash of in the 20th century, back in the sort of 50s. And 60s, people didn't have that much stuff, and it was very expensive. And then all of a sudden, it became more affordable. And then people could so they did you know, in the same way with convenience foods, you know, people used to cook from scratch, which was now has gone full circle, haven't lived through that kind of convenience food at the end of the 20/20 century. And now we're back on wanting to cook from scratch again, like we did in the 60s and 70s. So we've talked Helen a little bit about the way that people are now in the 21st century and the problems that people are seeing, and then people are coming to you then for solutions. Now, I am not saying that I've got this charmed life, but I feel in general that I'm reasonably together, I do feel as if I've got a lovely life, lovely family and do nice things. My balance can be a bit little bit off sometimes in work life balance. But other than that, I don't tend to look too deeply at my own emotions and habits and what's gone before almost. And I know that's what your work is. And so can you explain a little bit about your work and how you actually go about delving into someone's emotions and doing what I think you call the deep dive?

Helen  16:13  
I do call it the deep dive. Although I like to take people in route what I call round the back door, so they don't quite know how deep because it does. It does freak people out a bit. But we do it in a really gentle step by step fashion. I don't think we feel necessarily drawn to deep dive into our own stuff and ponder our own stuff, when everything is going really smoothly and really well. And certainly when my life has been really tickety boo, you know, and everything's going really, really well. It hasn't been something I've been particularly drawn to do. But at the same time, I think some of us, actually maybe the majority of us, and certainly the majority of people I've worked with over the years, and me included at one point, which is what got me into the NHS, we can follow a well trodden pathway, without necessarily stopping to ask ourselves, if that is the pathway we want to tread. So we can we can do that. That whole thing of Western. This is very first world problem. But West in the Western world, ticking off the accolades list, you know, the tick list of life, we can take all these things off, and do the degree or get the training or whatever, get the career and meet our partner, buy the house, get the mortgage, have the 2.4 kids or whatever it might be, all of which is completely fine. If that rocks your boat, of course. But for many people, they don't necessarily stop to ask themselves why they're doing it. And again, they can get to this point where they are literally thinking What's this all about? Then? You know, am I just meant to do this until I reached the golden land of retirement where everything will be marvellous. And that's when I get to chill out and have have more rest time and get better balance and do stuff for myself.

Lesley  18:07  
So it's always a kind of tomorrow scenario. Do you exactly yeah.

Helen  18:11  
DRM never comes?

Lesley  18:14  
So do you think that often the people that you're working with that are unfulfilled come to you for that very reason searching for something different? Yeah, have had a kind of trigger points have had some kind of problem that's happened that's made them rethink things?

Helen  18:30  
Yeah, I would say so. And that, that can be any number of things. And it can be a slow drip feed trigger point as well. I think people often take a long time to face up to the fact that they're not happy, because they feel like they're a failure. And so my I have this whole process that I created over years and years of working one to one and realising people went through a similar journey. And I kind of did the same myself, even though I didn't realise it till later on, to extract myself from the NHS. So I created a process from that called the magical process. And it's basically eight steps. They're not as linear as they might sound, but they follow more or less the same pattern. So I start by helping people to get out of their heads and into their hearts more. From that point, they can stop feeling guilty, stop beating themselves up, start reestablishing a sense of self worth, because often, often they feel like a failure or they feel really guilty or they feel guilty for wanting more and not being happy. But until you've established that self worth, you won't necessarily do the work that's required to take the next steps because you'll keep kind of getting in your own way or procrastinating or whatever. And I help people do things like make peace with their past. I teach them all about how every aspect of our life that has an energetic Waiting to it almost. So whether that's the thoughts that you're thinking, the activities that you're doing, the surroundings you have, which is where your work comes in. If you can imagine that every single day, we wake up with a porridge pot of energy to use as we choose, and the activities, the emotions, the thoughts, the interactions, the choices you make through your day, or take something from that energy pot. And then it will get used up at different rates, depending on what you're doing each day. If you kind of start to think about what you're doing in life in that way, it helps you make more discerning choices about how you're using your precious porridge pot of energy each day, Helen, I

Lesley  20:47  
absolutely love that. I just think it's so it's so powerful, really to think of it in that way. And of course, we talk about all of the things that you've just mentioned, are things that we talk about within our work. So we talk about when someone walks through the door, to clutter in their hallway, that your heart sinks straight away. So that energy is sapped. As soon as you walk through the door, we talk about doing things that are going to bring positive energy like going for a run singing and going for a walk, seeing friends going for a cafe. So don't reward yourself when you've done some decluttering with more staff and actually go out and do something positive, giving yourself permission to say no to people to sort of declutter commitments, then out of your calendar as well to give yourself more time. And we do talk a lot about guilt as well. And guilt is such a debilitating emotion really with clutter. And so all of the things that you mentioned, even though you're probably working, certainly it's the same, exactly the same. Ingrid, and I'm much more. We are very pragmatic, we definitely understand and appreciate the emotional side of Qatar very much. So in fact, but probably don't go so deep on that as you do. And so you're going much deeper with your clients in that. And I think that's it's so powerful, though. And I think that whole porridge part is just something that if people can cling on to that and think about that every day, when they're actually doing something the energy that you're given even with a phone call that you notice a negative phone call or some some kind of interaction that you're dreading. But sometimes if you have got an interaction with somebody that you're dreading, sometimes it makes you feel better once you've done it. So it's really an interesting one, I think that's what we spoke about at the conference, wasn't it? The porridge pot sort of technique. That's not a technique, but that sort of analogy that you Yes. And I think that's what really resonated, I'm like, there's so many overlaps in the work that you're doing in the work that we're doing. And there are so many people that we work with one to one that have got the same feelings that you're talking about that feeling unfulfilled about saying what comes next. I don't know what to do. And that manifests itself. It's not that they have those feelings anyway. And the the shopping and the stuff is filling a

Helen  22:56  
void. Yeah, absolutely. It's becoming more aware of your why, what what need Are you meeting, when, for example, you're not maintaining your boundaries? And you are saying, yes, when you really want to say no, it's looking at well, in a really compassionate, non judgmental way, looking at what's happening there. What What need Are you meeting? And it how, how's that working out for you? How can you change it? And I, you know, and I Yes, I do dive quite deep. But I do really like to still keep things quite real and practical, and small and achievable. And I do have a loving good laugh with my clients as well. Because again, it's everything's energy. And so it's really good to address this stuff in as lighter way as you can, without it, dragging people down even more.

Lesley  23:55  
So however, I'm going to ask you a really big question. Now. Do you find solutions for people? Because I'm a solution finder? So what's the answer? That's a very big question, isn't it? Okay, you say? Well, it's, you know, unless it's a little bit more complicated than that. It's like someone coming to me and saying, just to clean the whole house. Is that right? I mean, it's just not as simple as that. Or why can I not declutter my whole house in one day. So all of the things that you've spoken about really, is about allowing yourself and to think about these things, really reflecting on what it is that you want to be? And maybe this can be a lightbulb moment to show that you feel that there are things lacking in life. And it may be that there isn't as I mean, I was chatting to Helen before we came on the podcast and saying this is something wrong with me because I'm kind of quite fine. Really. I don't think that I need to do that but maybe something will happen. Let's hope that it doesn't. That will be that trigger point. That means that I then want to reflect a little bit more on my life and whether I feel fulfilled with that. I suppose we busy ourselves so much don't we with things and stuff around us. So in my headspace at the MO because I have had quite a busy couple of years with the launch and the second business, that you don't really give yourself time to think about those things. And then maybe it comes like a roller coaster at some point and hits. Yeah, maybe that's the point as well. And I think many people are in that kind of blah, blah, blah, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine. immodestly as well. Because sometimes you have to be, you can't allow yourself some time to be like that, particularly when you've got so many other people pulling them calling on your time, you can't allow yourself to be selfish. And I suppose, and it's not an you would say that it's not selfish. But a lot of people would probably say that they feel as if it is to give yourself that amount of time and energy. And so yeah, we could talk for hours, Helen, because away about this, because it resonates so much with the type of client that we work with, and all of the things that we've all got in our head about clutter and stuff and feeling unfulfilled and overwhelmed, and all of those things. So I hope that it's been really useful to our listeners, because I'm pretty sure that a lot of them, it'll really, really resonate with. So Helen, is there anything else that you'd want to share with our listeners? Why don't you tell them about your book that you've got? Thank you. Yeah.

Helen  26:10  
So Well, firstly, I would really, really like to say something that I think is really important for us all to be reminded of, and that is that we are not broken, we don't need fixing. And we are enough already exactly as we are. And that's a core tenant behind everything I do. So no matter what, what this might have ignited in you, or whether it's brought something up for you, or you know whether anything, you and Ingrid do kind of trigger stuff in people, it doesn't say anything about their worth as human beings. And I think it's really important, just to remind us all of that. So that's the first thing I'd like to say you are enough already, no matter what you're feeling or how your life looks,

Lesley  26:57  
wasn't making me cry here. It's quite powerful stuff, though, isn't it? I think a lot of us don't allow those kinds of thoughts into our head. And you know, it's great to hear it. And you're absolutely right, you need to remind yourself of that, from time to time.

Helen  27:09  
Yeah, as far as I'm concerned, if you've made it through to through to be born, which is quite a feat in itself, you've earned your right you've earned your place, and you deserve to live it in a way that feeds your soul. And I that's what I believe, I just think life is too short to spend it chasing other people's ideas of a perfect life or spend it, you know, kind of totally overwhelmed. So yeah, I wrote my book because I wanted to share that message more widely. And I'm really passionate about us not living in a way that compresses who we are, because I just think life is too precious. And so if this speaks to you, on any level, please do give yourself a copy of the magical unfolding, you can get it at Amazon, it's on my website as well. I'm not here to sell those books. But I know that this book is impactful because I get messages every day from people and it's basically my heart on a plate. It's a message from my heart to everybody else's. And if it impacts one person, then I'm happy

Lesley  28:15  
to say this is the thing now this is where you don't because I we spoke about it in September. I was like that's a book that I want to read. And then time just ticks on and now three or four months later, I've still not read it and I need to read that and so I need to allow myself time because it's really really important messages in there Helen and it's just it's just not coming to the top of my agenda and it needs to and so I for one I'm going to buy your book Helen and I will very much enjoy it I'm sure. So I'm really sorry to say today's podcast is coming to a close. So listeners I hope you've learned a lot today and Helens insight have been helpful for you how amazing issue. If you'd like to know more about how in her work and her books that she just mentioned the magical unfolding. We'll post a link in the show notes along with her website details. Her website is Helen rebello.com. So thanks so much for taking the time to listen today. If you'd like to get more tips and advice, please follow us on social media. We're on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook is declutter hub. And to have a lively supportive Facebook group where we chat all things clutter, you can search for the declutter hub community and we would absolutely love to see you there. Don't forget our members area too. We offer step by step online courses, live q&a sessions and a Live Live community. If you need some support to achieve your goals and lead a more fulfilled life without stuck being the focus as Helen suggests, the members area is just the thing for you. Have a look a member start declutter hub.com for more information. And if you don't want to miss the next weekly episode, subscribe to the declutter podcast on Apple podcasts, Spotify and Stitcher and it will pop into your notifications. It's Friday. See you next time.

Outro  29:53  
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Want to hear more from Helen? Check out her guest blog...

HOW TO REDISCOVER YOUR INNER ZEN – A GUEST BLOG BY HELEN REBELLO

Helen Rebello, our guest blogger, empowers midlife women who feel unfulfilled, to be mindful and connect with themselves at a deeper level so they can work out who they are and what they want, and unlock the courage to live and work in a way that feeds their soul.

If this describes you, fear not - help is at hand – and it is easier to find the off-switch than you think.

Right now your world feels like a whirlwind, and it feels impossible to slow things down. You're feeling overwhelmed due to constantly being switched-on, and it’s hard to imagine life can be any other way. Your head’s buzzing with that long to-do list and you’ve barely time to think sometimes... if this doesn't change soon, you feel like you'll blow up!

This is not the way you are meant to be. It is not a natural state. And it doesn’t have to be this way.

STOP!

Getting caught-up in the whirlwind of life is part of what makes you human and it’s normal to get overwhelmed sometimes; but in order to truly thrive rather than just survive, you need to learn ways to deal with whatever comes your way.

When I was younger, I faced some really tough challenges, causing my stress levels to rocket to the point where I had overwhelming panic attacks. This wasn’t how I wanted to live my life, so I began a journey of self-discovery that has taught both me and subsequently my lovely clients many ways to slow things down.

Change the Dynamic

It all started with one simple premise, summarised by the Barefoot Doctor: “Change the dynamic inside and the dynamic outside changes to reflect it.”

All you need is the willingness to accept that something needs to change, and the mindset to do something about it.

Give yourself the gift of time

Does that sound ridiculous?! How is that possible when you’re already so busy?! It's simpler than you think.

Every day, set your alarm clock just 5 minutes early. Yes – only 5 minutes! Or go crazy and have an extra 10 minutes!

By giving yourself the small gift of an extra 5 minutes each morning, you can change the way you start each precious day, and this can make all the difference to your life, your world, your relationships, and everything around you.

But how does that work?

Those extra 5 minutes nourish and calm your nervous system, letting the ‘rest and digest’ functions get a look in – switching off the adrenaline, so your system gets some much-needed restoration and the ‘fight or flight’ whirlwind stops for a while.

You’re going to spend 5 minutes being quiet and mindful, and focusing on your breathing and your mindset. Ideally you do this before you get up, but you can do it in the shower or whilst drying your hair – the things you’re already doing anyway.

See how easy this is going to be?!

Take a breath – stop and give yourself 5 minutes each day before you do anything else, to simply breathe. Consciously breathe - not the usual breathing you do that barely fills your lungs, but full, luxurious breathing... visualising that lovely fresh air entering your lungs, bringing new energy and space into your system.

Whilst you’re doing this, thank the world for giving you another day, and visualise yourself ending that day with a smile on your face.

This precious gift of time will set the tone for the rest of your day.

It may seem counter-intuitive to spend 5 minutes essentially doing ‘nothing’, when you're a busy person - but the fact is your body and mind will thank you for it . You’ll feel calmer and you’ll start the day with a positive mind-set.

If you do this regularly, it will reverse your constant ‘switched-on’ state, and your ability to manage stress will slowly keep increasing.

Try it for one week and see the difference

You’ve nothing to lose except 5 minutes of your time – and it might just make each day slow down and flow more freely.

Helen Rebello, our guest blogger is an author, intuitive mentor and women’s empowerment educator who loves helping midlife women to fulfil their potential, without stressing or striving.

She does this by writing about and teaching her Magical Processes to a small, soulful community of women who want to live in a more fulfilling, mindful, less depleting way that feeds their soul. Less hustle. More flow.

If you want to do your next decade differently, alongside a small soulful community of like-minded souls, join the free Magical Life Movement to get started.

You can follow Helen on Instagram or find out more about her work on her website.

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