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Episode 121 – What truly makes you happy

In this episode, we discuss what truly makes you happy. We’re generally happy people and we put that down to feeling in control of our diary and our to-do lists. Simple things in our lives make us feel happy.

Episode 393 – How a Clutter-Free Home Strengthens Relationships – A Valentine’s special

Episode 392 – The clutter advice I'd give my 30-year-old self

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Transcript of this podcast episode

Intro  0:07  
Welcome to today's episode of The declutter of podcast, your channel for super easy, no nonsense advice on how to declutter and organise your home. Please welcome your hosts professional organisers, Ingrid Jansen, and Lesley Spellman.

Ingrid  0:32  
Hello, and welcome listeners to Episode 121 of the Declutter Hub Podcast.

Lesley  0:36  
I'm Ingrid. And I'm Lesley.

Ingrid  0:38  
If you have collateral and want to sort it out, this is the show for you. Now, in today's episode, Lesley and I are talking about what truly makes you happy. And I'm gonna tell you one thing already now, listeners, I'm not gonna sing Pharrell Williams with because I'm happy. So let's see them even putting me in this trap. Happy club along. Unless you're like, come on, come on. Okay, so Well, let's we have that out of the way now. So we cannot concentrate on this episode. Because otherwise I'm going to be laughing like the whole recording in my head singing Pharrell Williams, we're actually a song that makes me quite happy. But of course, we need to make talk about what truly makes us happy. dominantly we're generally quite happy people aren't we

Lesley  1:35  
think so? To think that I'm genuinely a kind of happy person, I have my moments where I'm not like everybody not gonna lie. I've got quite a lot going on at the moment. And so you know, that happiness is dipping in and out for? I think in general, we're happy people. So what we're not going to talk about today is the obvious things like family and health and all of those kinds of things. We're not talking about that. We're relating happiness to the home, aren't we? So what makes us happy at home? When we get down to the real nitty gritty of day to day life? That's what this is all about. Now, why do you think that in general, Ingrid, you and I feel for the most part we are, you know, it's all we're gonna keep this really, you know, we, we have our tough days in the same way that everybody else does. And we feel overwhelmed in the same way that everybody else does. But in general, I think that we have a sense of happiness and can allow ourselves to be happy. Because we have a feeling of control, don't we? I don't mean controlling people, although other people might say that that was the case. But control of our own lives and our own situations and our own circumstances to a degree as much as we can. So I think that plays a large part in why I feel generally quite happy.

Ingrid  2:50  
Yeah, I think so too. I think it's because we kind of know what's in our diary, we plan ahead, we have a list that we work off of things that we want to achieve on a daily or weekly, monthly, or yearly basis. So I think that gives us a sense of fulfilment, when we can kind of tick things off or like, let's move on to the next thing. And we've accomplished this and I feel happy when I get a lot done in a day. I'm like, this was a good day, I got it I loved on. Other people might think this was a good day, because I was lying on my sofa all day watching TV. But occasionally I give myself permission to do that. Not a whole day, maybe a couple of hours. But I like Have a good day, I feel happy when everything is kind of running smoothly. I'm getting stuff done. Everybody happy around me like Okay, great day, great day.

Lesley  3:40  
And some people may think that we're a little bit on the strange side. And I get that because that's not what makes everybody tick. But we know through experience that doing certain things around them home gives people a sense of accomplishment, and therefore happiness. So everybody knows that we use in the declutter hub, the reset your home system. And there's a very integral part of our reset your home system, which we like to call day by day, and within the day by day, part of our reset your home system, we have what we like to call non negotiables. And I think once you start getting those non negotiables done, that kind of sets you up for the day, and makes you feel reasonably happy. Would you agree Ingrid?

Ingrid  4:19  
Yes. And interestingly enough, it's the small things. It's not massive things. It's the small things, because I think a lot of small things end up being a big difference. You know, it's exactly my some of my non negotiables everyday once I've got them done, I'm like, Okay, I'm set up for the day. Let's see what else I can accomplish and what else I can do today, but I know if I do those non negotiables I'm off to a good start. I know that the rest of the day. I'm going to like Okay, we're good, we're good. Everything else that that's happening today is a good bonus. is going to be great if I accomplish that. But doing those non negotiables makes everything flow better. And it's little things. There's no big things. You're absolutely

Lesley  5:09  
right. And good is those little things that make a difference. And that starts with making your bed in the morning, doesn't it?

Ingrid  5:16  
Yes, yes, for sure. I mean, for me, I think actually even there's a little tiny step before that. I was like to air my beds, I want to kind of have the sheets all open. So my, my bed can kind of air and then once I'm dressed, I can kind of put the cushions and the duvet all nice and tidy. So then after that, it's just like, yes, I want to go climb into this bed tonight, again, because it is not all crumpled up. It feels like a good start of the day.

Lesley  5:44  
I think it's really interesting. You talk about air in the bed, because I feel that that's like a continental thing. Just to just to say continental makes me laugh as well. Do you remember continental like we say it like who says that? And what even does that mean? I think it was when when we well, you know, to be fair, we're actually back there now. But aren't we after Brexit. But anyway, it used to be when we were our own little island, and the rest of the continent of Europe used to all get sort of shoved together and we used to call it on the continent or Continental. It's quite strange. Some people still do use that term down the but I don't really know. But I'm just gonna use it anyway, because it just sprang to mind. I used to study languages at university, I lived in Holland lived in Germany quite a bit. And so I've spent time in those countries. And the one thing that always dawned on me was this airing of the quilts every morning and the duvet set or the comforters as they call them elsewhere in the world would get put out on the kind of through the window definitely taken off the bed. So I do feel like it's a continental inverted commas thing to do. Now, I know people do do do that in this country. But I will just wonder that was kind of the first time that I really came across it. Do you think is that you're experiencing grid?

Ingrid  6:54  
Yeah. I think it's, you should see, I've been I've travelled extensively in the over the continent, and especially in Germany, she had a lot in I think, in Switzerland, Austria, Dutch people, we always are the first thing we do and why. As soon as we open our eyes in the morning, it's still we open a window. It's like, I don't know what this is all about. We open it, we know. And we kind of flick open to do a show, it's kind of the bed can air I don't have fresh air coming in. And it was just a whole thing. In my system I've never known otherwise. So yeah, it's very

Lesley  7:29  
interest, we're going to add your bed first. And then you're going to make your bed. A lot of people do like to add the bed all day as well. So some people don't make the bed. But it's good to kind of smooth a bed down even if it's air in and it's open almost Yeah, it's still a good idea for it to be not messy. I think that's really important. And I think the reason why that kind of thing makes us happy is that that has a knock on effect, it's at the start of your day, obviously, you leave your bedroom in a kind of reset way. Even if it's just your bed that's done. All of a sudden, that makes a huge difference to the way that a room looks when you leave it on also then has a huge knock on effect when you go into bed later in the day, because it feels like an inviting place to get into. And we all need that, don't we? Ingrid?

Ingrid  8:10  
Yeah, yeah, for sure. The second thing I kind of do always is kind of in the morning, unloading the dishwasher, I feel lucky that I've got a dishwasher that I don't have to hand wash. But I make sure that that tasks is the one of the first one that gets done. As soon as I get downstairs, I'm dressed, I'm ready, I've been in the shower, downstairs, unload the dishwasher, set the table for breakfast, but unload the dishwasher as well. So then the rest of the day when you come across a Copper plate or something, you can immediately put it in. And it's easy.

Lesley  8:45  
Yeah, and so if you then the flip side to that is if you don't do that in the morning, and you let your dishes build. So whether you're washing up by hand, or whether you're using a dishwasher, if those dishes start to build up, it's a very negative effect, hasn't it because all of a sudden, that little job becomes a huge overwhelming task that then takes over the whole kitchen. And then when you go in the kitchen to make dinner or lunch or whatever, it's difficult, there's barriers standing in your way you don't feel as if you really want to do that. And so that has a very negative effect on us. So just something as simple as doing the dishes on a regular basis as a huge impact on positive wellbeing.

Ingrid  9:24  
Yeah, and I think connected to that Lesley is also I really like to have a clean surface so that's why I also think, unload the dishwasher so I can put stuff in. So all those dishes are not cluttering up my services because I do want to have space to cut up veg and to cut up chicken for dinner and to make sandwiches for lunch. I need to have that counter space in my kitchen so life can kind of move on so for me a clean surface that doesn't mean I've got nothing I've got a couple kettles and things and a microwave me Then of course, that's on my counters. But there needs to be room to do food prep.

Lesley  10:05  
So you mean really a clear surface. Yeah. And clean surface. It's interesting, really the, because your, um, same issue really, I don't have too much on my work surface because I like space to kind of work. The clean work surface is really important to me. And I feel that it's only me really in the family who sees clean on work surfaces. So the rest of the family seemed perfectly oblivious to the fact that there's crumbs and bits of smeared mayonnaise all over them, like doesn't nobody ever wipe up after themselves, or is it that just, that's just me, that does just me that feels that you need to wipe around with a dish cloth at the end of the day and, and make that work surface clean. It's interesting, isn't it, so they can wash up and put away but still kind of leave the work surface is not wiped down. Now to me, until that work surface is completely wiped down. The job's not done yet, I can see those crumbs from across the room waiting for me to clean them down. It's really interesting that you mention that,

Ingrid  10:59  
you know mandalas I think I've wiped my my kitchen services at least three times today. So when I kind of I had breakfast, I put away the stuff in a dishwasher, I wipe the table, wipe the surface after lunch, same thing, same routine after then doing it all again. Because that only then takes me 30 seconds flat, no get the microfiber cloth into bit of warm water, bit of firm washing up liquid boom, wiping around books you're on call. But if you don't do that, after four days, it's like, oh, you know, then immediately it's like a half an hour scrubbing job because you need to do those little tiny little jobs immediately.

Lesley  11:41  
You sound happy to describe and Ingrid wouldn't I'm worried now whether this is just us, please tell us in the comments that some of you feel just as happy by clearing it by clean, claiming and cleaning a work surface and something else that we're going to talk about putting your recycling out, there's something really nice about about not having a buildup of stuff hanging around and it's gone to its rightful resting place in the recycling bin isn't there, because it just it's like noises. It's like visual noise in your kitchen. You know, not all of us have got nice recycling systems in our in our kitchens. And sometimes we have to hang it on the back door or have a little extra box or leave it on the end of the work surface or whatever that is, until we get around with Can't we going out to the bin every five minutes do not I mean, sometimes it builds up. But if we keep in control of that and do that on a daily basis, then you know, it's that kind of clear space clear mind, isn't it?

Ingrid  12:37  
For sure, for sure. And I mean, I don't have a lovely recycling system I wish I had. For me, it's just a plastic tray on my kitchen surface where throughout the day, things get in collected. And after dinner, the kids have the job to bring that image into the recycling bin because I just don't want to then when I come in at night to make myself a cup of tea or get a glass of soda or something to still look at that recycling, it has to be done on the daily basis. And then it stays manageable. Because if you don't do that, things start to overflow. It's the same with bins, you have to empty your bins on a regular basis. Because as soon as you open the bin and you can't put something in it, it then starts to be put down somewhere and then the build up starts. So it's those actually they're not even big long tasks, all of these things but they do create give you lots and lots of happiness. I think

Lesley  13:33  
it's simple, isn't it. It's very simple. It's a simple start to the day and it is that reset. A reset a day keeps the clutter away. I like that we said that a few weeks ago on the podcast that I really liked that a reset a day keeps the clutter away. And we all like to keep the clutter away. Don't worry because that makes us happy.

Ingrid  13:50  
I think the last thing I would like to talk about with non negotiables is putting on a load of laundry that is really firmly in my in my non negotiables just about not every day, but at least 345 days a week. I'm putting a load of laundry on and this way I can stay on top of it and the laundry keeps flowing from in the laundry baskets in the machine than on the on the rail to dry then half is going to go into folding half it's going to go into into ironing, and it kind of keeps moving along. And I in the weekend. I always take half an hour to fold all the laundry that's kind of been collected over the weekend. I haven't had time to do in between. So I then put it all away in one go. So it just you stay on top of it. And like I like being on top of things.

Lesley  14:43  
So now that we're into our happiness podcast, I'm sick which is probably very different to other happiness podcast. I bet there's no other happiness podcast out there that's talking about pulling a load of laundry. Making people really happy, very deep here are we really we just keep it keep it at all. level. But actually, it's not the doing do I get really happy? Yay for a lot of laundry on amazing. Am I really happy by that? No, what I'm happy about is the fact that the simple task is done. So I can then focus on what's ahead for my day, it's about that clarity of mind, isn't it, that is what makes us happy, just getting those little things ticked off the list. And so we can move forward with our day.

Ingrid  15:22  
And you know what the interesting thing is, like we said before, a whole part of our reset your home system, day by day is a really important part of that. And that's why we've started live trading sessions in our membership to talk about this even more, what does day by day mean? What do you do daily? And what do you do weekly? And what can you do yearly, or monthly? Or how do all these tasks happen? So it feels manageable? And our members, you know, they're like, yes, we need to know what you do to stay on top of these things. This is amazing. And that's why they're enjoying the live sessions that we're doing.

Lesley  16:01  
And our happiness level is actually through the roof. Because we're talking about multiples of these reset things that we're doing very, very happy live sessions, they are, I think there are other things as well. So that's the kind of the simple things that we do. But then I think there are knock on effects to kind of decluttering and keeping, let's call it keeping, keeping in control of your house, that also make us feel happy. But alair Maybe a little bit more subconscious than tangible, like the ones that we've spoken about. So things like once your house is back in control, and you feel decluttered. You don't feel that stress and shame and embarrassment, to invite somebody into your home or to open the front door. And that mean, that's priceless, isn't it?

Ingrid  16:49  
Yes. And I think that is then the deeper level of doing their day by day, non negotiables. And doing your decluttering. In your organising, that's when you get into state of I actually somebody one of our members, I think said I am not embarrassed anymore to open my my curtains, and to wash my windows, because the living room actually in the bedroom look far more under control. If somebody comes round to knocking, whoever it is, I don't mind opening the front door fully for them to be able to look into my hallway. That doesn't mean there's nothing in the hallway. But it doesn't look either as everything and everything is in there. And it's completely a mess. And all over the place. Of course there's a few bits around that's that's absolutely normal. We're not talking about having everything perfect. That's not what this is about. But it's all about, yes, I can open the door, and I'm gonna calm about it. I'm not kind of thinking, oh, what can they see, I haven't tidied up, I can invite them in. I really should invite them in. But I can't because it's such a mess. And all those things connected to that.

Lesley  18:02  
Yeah, completely completely. I mean, that's a huge, huge in the happiness scale, isn't it really that kind of thing, that sort of life changing thing that happens when you feel back in control of your house, there's something else that I wanted to mention as well, which is, we might not know that we feel happy about this. But actually the amount of time that we save when we can find something, we're not wasting time anymore. So the happiness is more about a balance to the negative side of things, isn't it. And these are just little things that are going to actually push up our happiness scale all the time. So being able to find things when you want to find them when you leave the house in the morning to be able to find your keys straightaway or find your coat straightaway or find your gloves straightaway. If it's cold or hot, or whatever that might be, or find a letter that you've got to post. Putting, being able to put your hands on those things straightaway gives you a feeling of control and makes you feel happy to go out of your house and to do your chores.

Ingrid  19:01  
I think that is again, one of the things that a lot of people don't realise will happen once you have less clutter. And when you spend time decluttering and organising your house, that they don't realise how much time there's lost by doing just the normal things and how much more efficient you can do things because the things you need to do, are there and you know what they are? It's so wonderful, and give such a great feeling. But I think that's that's things that people don't realise that happen. Once you started decluttering and organising go on that path.

Lesley  19:43  
You know one of the things that I remember when I decided to do this job, which is like 1011 years ago now, I used to get this really quite a strange amount of joy and pleasure out of giving things away to other people so to the charity shop, or even sometimes to go to the tip or to put the work in the freezer. Call wasn't a thing then. But if I could offload some of my unwanted stuff to somebody else that wanted it, then it would make me really, really happy, which is kind of one of the things that subconsciously, perhaps led me down this route. But you know, the interesting thing is, on our Facebook group, every Wednesday, we do something called Wednesday winds, don't we? So and people post on that, what they've done that way that they're proud of. And so one of the things that comes up all the time is how happy it makes people to give something away, whether that's to donate it to the charity shop, or to donate it to somebody who really needs it, to put it on Freecycle, all of those things that are also looking at the environment as well, you know, and just recycling things in society, make people really, really happy. It's a set that sense of accomplishment again, isn't it?

Ingrid  20:48  
Yeah, we had a really good example, after our wardrobe challenge, Lesley, back in November, when we were all decluttering our wardrobes, and somebody had a phone call from a person in her church, because apparently one of the people in her church, their house had burned down. And they were looking for a specific type of size of clothing for the kids and anything. And she was like, Oh, this is absolutely amazing. I have just because I've done the wardrobe challenge. I have decluttered these items, and they are ready to be donated. So what better place for it to give to somebody that I know from my church that's going to be absolutely desperate for stuff. It she's like, I was she was so delighted and older. Everybody else in the Facebook group was like, Yes, this is amazing. Because it's just wonderful to help somebody else isn't it? Well, we

Lesley  21:46  
derive a great deal of happiness, don't we from doing a good deed is the bottom line. So that's one of the one of the best things that we can do really, with this job is we we've bought things along the way that we perhaps never needed or don't need any more. And we can pass them on to someone who will truly appreciate them. And that is something you know, that's a really positive benefit of decluttering your stuff as well, isn't it?

Ingrid  22:08  
Yeah, very high on the happiness scale, Lesley?

Lesley  22:14  
So we have been super happy to this podcast talking about all the things that make us happy, probably a little bit weirdly, to be fair, we think we might derive slightly more pleasure from these things than a lot of people listen to like, what it's like putting a load of laundry on makes you happy, I don't think so, we've actually got to go through the pain of doing it. But apart from that, I think what we're talking about is the fact that feeling in control means that you're not overwhelmed and taking that overwhelm away is going to push your happiness level up a little bit. And that's the important thing. This is a good thing. We all know it, don't we, we've just got to get ourselves into a place where we actually do it. And we focus on that, and we prioritise it our happiness, let's face it is one of the most important things in the world.

Ingrid  23:01  
I don't know, it's very interesting. Lesley, we, as far as we know, we're only going to live once. So we might as well make the most out of it. And, and make sure that we feel happy most of the time. Yeah, I mean, you know, but he's 100% happy all the time. But there's definitely I think, being in control of your life, in your tasks in your time, will create that space to do the things you want to do that make you maybe that hobby that you've been trying to find the time for. If you do your non negotiables, you can do them quickly and efficiently. There is time for lots of other fun stuff as well. Some of the chores have to be done. I mean, things you know, you can't walk around with dirty clothes, I mean, they have to go into the wash at some point, there has to be some sort of system there that they go from dirty to bad clean again. But if you can make it efficient, then you've got time to read that book, or do that puzzle or do a craft or watch TV or meet a friend or all of those things. I think that really kind of then go up to the next level of happiness. So yes, listeners, I know maybe you're going to see your chores differently now and actually think to themselves as Oh, no chores. Oh, actually, yesterday, I have to do them, but they're going to make me happy. So we would love to know from you in the comments, or maybe you want to leave a review for this for this podcast episode. Or maybe you want to email us or tell us in the Facebook group. How you feel about this has our podcast giving you that food for thought at kind of the start. We're still going to be still in January. It's the start of 2021. Let us know we would love to know. So thanks so much for listening. If you'd like to get more tips and advice, please come and check out our Facebook group to declutter hub community. And of course, if you don't want to miss our next weekly episode, subscribe to this podcast. political comments your notifications each Friday. So thanks for listening. We'll see you next week.

Outro  25:09  
Thanks for listening to this week's episode of the Declutter Hub Podcast. Check out declutterhub.com for more inspiration, and don't forget to tune in next week.

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Episode 393 – How a Clutter-Free Home Strengthens Relationships – A Valentine’s special

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Ann Magee says:

27 January 2021 at 8:37 PM

Hi Lesley & Ingrid, on a scale of 1-10 this Podcast Episode 121 has a 10. Well here in the North West of the United Kingdom (as Lesley and I know) we have been in some form of Lockdown, Restriction Level since last July. So ‘Happiness’ has had to be self creative for many people during these difficult times. I began with good intentions to declutter, last April, then got side tracked by making face covering masks for the vulnerable. 😷
Then got on did some of the Challenges. I keep going back and doing a bit more.
As you both expressed its about what makes us happy so I am about to tackle some clutter that will hopefully make me smile. Thank you. Ann M

Reply
1. Lesley Spellman says:
  
  27 January 2021 at 10:37 PM
  
  Yay, welcome back to decluttering, Ann. You had a very good reason to put it on hold for a while. Let us know if there is anything we can help within the Members' Area x
  
  Reply

Episode 121 – What truly makes you happy

Episode 393 – How a Clutter-Free Home Strengthens Relationships – A Valentine’s special

Episode 392 – The clutter advice I’d give my 30-year-old self

Episode 393 – How a Clutter-Free Home Strengthens Relationships – A Valentine’s special

Episode 388 – Start as you mean to go on – plan 2026 for decluttering success

Episode 387 – Our 2025 year in review – the big Declutter Hub round-up

Episode 386 – 10 Tell-Tale Signs that you need to Declutter your House

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