When you think about grief it’s a natural response to think about people or pets you have lost, but there are so many other situations that leave us grieving. In today’s podcast we are talking about hidden grief and have invited professional coach Maya Rooz to tell us all about it.
Prefer to read rather than listen?
Transcript of this podcast episode
Subscribe now so you don't miss an episode
Prefer to watch rather than listen? Watch on YouTube
Useful Links and Resources
Subscribe now so you don't miss an episode
Want to delve deeper? Read Maya's blog
Hidden grief, also known as disenfranchised grief
Most people think clutter is simply a matter of having too much stuff. But in my experience, as both a coach and life organiser, clutter often has a quieter, more complex story to tell.
In this episode of the Declutter Hub Podcast, we explored the powerful and often overlooked connection between hidden grief and the clutter that accumulates in our homes and lives.
Hidden grief, also known as disenfranchised grief, refers to the losses that aren’t openly acknowledged or socially validated. These can include a lost career path, a decline in health, or even the shifting of one’s identity after becoming a parent or moving to a new country.
These are losses that don’t come with sympathy cards or public rituals. Instead, they often get buried (sometimes literally) in drawers, wardrobes, and storage boxes.
Clutter becomes a placeholder for emotions we don’t know how to handle
Over time, I’ve come to see clutter not just as “stuff” but as a mirror of what hasn’t yet been processed. For many of my clients, clutter became a placeholder for emotions we didn’t know how to handle, especially grief that no one had recognised, not even ourselves.
- Clothes that no longer fit but represent a past self
- Garages full of items for hobbies we no longer pursue
- Boxes from a house move we didn’t want to make
- Belongings of someone no longer in our lives
- Baby items long after the chance to have children has passed
These are more than objects, they are emotional anchors tied to identities, transitions, and losses that we haven’t fully grieved.
The grief I felt over losing my professional identity
When I left my 15-year career in the automotive industry, I thought I was making a purely rational, empowered decision. What I hadn’t accounted for was the grief I’d feel over losing my professional identity, daily structure, and sense of certainty. So I kept items from that world, not because I needed them, but because I hadn’t yet honored what I had left behind. The clutter was grief in physical form.
Decluttering can be an act of healing
Now, when I work with clients, we rarely start by talking about stuff. We talk about stories, seasons of life and identities. The clutter often begins to make sense in that emotional context. Letting go isn’t just about being more organised. It’s about creating space for who we are becoming, not just who we used to be. And sometimes, it’s about finally acknowledging a grief that never had a name.
If you feel stuck—surrounded by clutter you can’t quite face—it’s worth asking: What loss might this represent? What part of me or my past is asking to be seen?
Decluttering can be an act of healing. But only if we do it with compassion, curiosity, and a willingness to recognise the hidden grief we may have unknowingly stored.
