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Episode 268 – How to break your shopping habits

Black Friday is coming. Many of the people in our communities love to shop and can’t resist a bargain. If that’s you it can be hard to resist the temptation of a fantastic deal and those deals are there by the bucketload in the run up in the frenzied weekend that is Black Friday. In this podcast we’re going to talk about how to break your shopping habits in general and hope that some of these tips will sink in before you succumb and hit that buy button
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Transcript of this podcast episode
00:00
Black Friday is coming. Many of the people in our communities love to shop and can't resist a bargain. If that's you, it can be hard to resist the temptation of a fantastic deal. And those deals are there by the bucketload. In the run up to the frenzy weekend, that is Black Friday. In this podcast, we're going to talk about how to break your shopping habits in general, and hope that some of these tips sink in before you succumb and hit that buy button.

00:42
You're listening to the declutter Apple podcast, bringing you tried and tested no nonsense tips and advice from the leading experts in decluttering and organizing your home. Now here are your hosts, Ingrid Jansen, and Lesley Spellman.

01:05
Hello, and welcome, listeners. I'm Ingrid. And I'm Lesley. If you're new to the declutter hub podcast, you're so welcome. What you'll find is that we try and find a fun factor in the serious business of decluttering. And if you've been here for a while, you know exactly what we mean. So thank you so much for listening. If you'd like to get involved in conversations related to this podcast, it all takes place in our Facebook group. So come and join our lovely warm, supportive community. To find the Facebook group go to declutter hub.com forward slash group to find out more, or you can search for the declutter hub community on Facebook. Well, hello, Lesley. It's time for another podcast. I'm so excited that we're recording it today. Oh, cheerful wood chipper.

01:54
I'm feeling really cheerful today, which is a good thing.

01:59
I don't know why I'm feeling so cheerful. Maybe it's because Black Fridays come in. And I've got an opportunity to shop.

02:06
I was thinking it was like you're loving your nice, lovely cheerful. stripy thought. That's got it. I do. I do. Read enough pink. Yeah, red, pink and beige and black. You have to watch on YouTube, if you want to see what my top looks like. But you're looking very down there and your black outfit.

02:24
No, it looks black. But it's actually a really beautiful green. Kind of a forest green. But it does look quite black. I'm sorry, I I'm not here. I'm feeling all chipper. But yeah, it does look a bit dark, doesn't it?

02:40
It does. So anyway, maybe you need to go out and buy a new shirt. That's what we're talking about today. Did you see what we did there with that segue? So first things first, we're going to talk about shopping today, which is a very good time to talk about shopping. Because Black Friday is coming. You know, it used to be a thing just in the US right? For many, many years. And all of a sudden it's expanded all over the world is everyone has got crazy, Black Friday, Cyber Monday, all of the things wrapped up. And basically what it is for anybody who has clutter, it's a bit of a nightmare, because it's like shopping on overdrive, isn't it? You know what I remember seeing the things on television in the news of people in the US running to shops, hammering on the window to let them in and then going all like crazy. And slowly but surely it's the same thing has happened here and about what has happened? It's gone a bit mad, doesn't it? Yeah. But before we started going in London, Americans have been sort of started this Black Friday frenzy. The Boxing Day sales in the UK are the same. So basically, it's the first day after a big holiday. So there's a lead up to it, where things are promoted heavily on the lead up to Thanksgiving or the lead up to Christmas in the UK and everywhere else around the world example. And then the day after it, the sales start because that season is over. And that's what it's all about. Right? We've kind of adopted that in the UK, and I'm sure people have everywhere else in the world as well as a promotional opportunity for retailers is the bottom line. Yeah, it can be a good thing. Because you know, particularly if you're celebrating Christmas or any other thing and there's a lot of festivities going on, right and sort of the December time where people buy things as gifts, and it can be a good way to secure a deal. So we're not saying it's all really bad, but you need to be intentional about it. You can't just go oh, that's a good deal. I'm going to buy that. Because if you're a cluttery person, then that's going to really add to your woes, isn't it? I think you know what, it's a 10th to sweat all these 50% of 70% of 90% of and we kind of get I think caught up in the whole logo. I'm getting a bucket of you

05:00
See, great, I'm happy I'm gonna. And I think we we tend to maybe go out to maybe get one thing but then you when you're in the shop is he always thinks that it continues to go on he should people kind of around you filling their baskets, I think you kind of get a bus from it and you can really be tempted to buy far more than you ever planning to that day. I think that's it. Yeah. So let's talk about you and I and the shopping front, because I think anybody who's listened in for a while knows that we have four wildly different shopping habits. And so I veer towards the kind of love to sharp side of things, although I am intentional, and it's infrequent, to be fair and under control. You just don't like shopping.

05:48
It doesn't excite you, it doesn't but you do like to go out and buy nice things. But you will buy for I need something for that event, you know, recently when it's your 50th birthday, like I'm going to go out, and I'm going to go to the shop and I'm going to get an outfit of my 50s. So you're very intentional about it and less intentional. But I will go I need to upgrade for the season. And I'll go out and I'll buy a few things at once. But then I won't do anything for three months. That's my shopping, and I don't buy online at all. And I definitely don't succumb to deals like most of what I buy will be full price most of it. Yeah, I know, I find I find sales rails really hard. I mean, I just I just I would love to be that person who can kind of go find the bargains and I just guys can't do it. I find it so overwhelming. All of the different sizes, muddled and the styles are muddled. And then they're sportswear together with nice, and I just can't, I'm not really I really find it tricky to get a good outfit together. So trying to kind of run through whole sales rails. And I can't even see it on the mannequin or something like Oh, no, I can't do it. So no, I don't really go to the shops a lot. I mean, when I go, I've tried to kind of get more things. So like, okay, while I'm here, I might as well try eight things on.

07:13
And then I've done that. And you know, then I'm done. I don't know. It's interesting, isn't it? It's a really interesting thing shopping and what how that makes you feel I was listening to a podcast this morning about so and it was a podcast that was recorded in lockdown. And it was Louis Theroux talking to Helena Bonham Carter. And so they were talking about, you know, so Louis was recording any shorts on any slippers and his socks because he was at home in lockdown. And we all remember what that felt like. And then Helena Bonham Carter was talking about the fact that she was top to toe kind of chose her outfit, because she feels that clothes make her ready for the day. And so she needs a fully put together outfit, if that makes sense. And it's interesting. So some people are not bothered about particularly when we're working from home. So, you know, I definitely all the way through lockdown, and now dress as if I was going out for the day when I'm working. So I don't wear my slippers. And you know, Apple, put full shoes on full makeup for everything. Because that's what makes me feel ready for the day. And so it's interesting how different people regard clothing in particular, I mean, there's loads of other things that you can buy on Black Friday. But we're talking specifically about clothes here. So I thought that was quite interesting in terms of different people's perception of what that feels like. And that's going to then dictate what you buy, and how you buy it. So we wanted to kind of record this podcast in advance of Black Friday to try and help people a little bit. Think about things. We're not thinking that in the next week, you're going to change your shopping habits dramatically. But hopefully, we can give you a little bit of food for thought. So we're going to talk about the emotions relating to shopping and some things that you can think about. And then we're going to be giving you some practical tips about the types of things that might help you curb or break a shopping habit because it's a real problem in our communities. Isn't it angry? Yeah. Yeah. I think one of the reasons why the leader house is because it's so cluttered and they rather go somewhere else so but where do you go you go to the shops or to the shopping mall or just to maybe have lunch and break some time and then you start to wander around shops and then you're I think more easily tented so you get into this vicious circle, don't you get you don't know. It's an important thing. Really Ingrid. We're here to teach people how to declutter. But we're also very keen to tackle the habits that get us to that cluttered place and in the first place, right. So we need to look at what it is that's making us want to buy things that we don't need that then further down the line become excess or clutter. So that's why we're talking about this today. And certainly in our teachings in our membership. It's a very key part of what we do is tackling the clutter at source and so it's not just about oh, I've got too many things.

10:00
Let me get rid of those and have just what I need. It's about, let's look to the future, and go. But I need that stuff to stop coming in so that I don't get back into this situation again. So I think that it's really important when you were talking about shopping to identify what our triggers are. And you've identified some of those just in the sentence that you just said in which was it which was about, you know, you get bored at home, you want to leave the home that is cluttered and sort of see something different, you get into a habit. So sometimes shopping becomes a habit with your, you go out with your friend. And that's what you do for a pastime, you typically go out with your friend, your mom, your daughter, whatever that is, and you go, oh, we'll just go to the shops. And that's what you're doing. And it becomes habit, doesn't it, you might go in your lunch hour from work, you might go after work, all of these things are habits that are very difficult to break. And I think it's important for you to understand the triggers, see the habits that are forming and see whether they are detrimental to what you're trying to do in your decluttering journey. I think it's key Lesley, I think, of course, you know, we're in a decluttering worlds. So of course, our focus is on decluttering, like you said, but I think when the clutter levels go down a little bit, other things start to become apparent, right? Like, okay, it's nice that I'm now looking at this clutter, I'm letting it go. But I also need to start thinking about how is this stuff coming into my home in the first place? What is happening here? Why am I doing this? What am I letting through the front door inside? And what can I do to break this cycle of having really high volumes, you can't just change what goes out of your house, you also need to change? What's coming in in the first place. And shopping is a crucial part of that. Yeah, absolutely. I think, you know, it's all about that dopamine hit? Isn't it really, particularly online shopping, not just online, but I think online, you can definitely feel how that works. You know, you see like, oh, I want that goes into your basket. It's like this process, isn't it? And then or do you want to buy this extra thing, you want to buy this extra thing? And so, you know, a there's marketing, you know, maestro's at work, aren't they in terms of like upselling you to things. And then there's also your own kind of I love the relevant new purchase. And so we need to take a step right back and go, What is it about shopping that makes me really want to do this, which I know if I'm on a decluttering journey is ultimately going to be detrimental. So it might be that you're like me, so for me, I like to shop, I don't feel it's detrimental, because I like a throughput of stuff. And I'm happy that my donations are going to somebody who really can truly use them in a second life. Sustainability is a different issue. But in terms of the kind of cycle of shopping, to donation to decluttering, to recycling of clothes, I'm happy with where I am with that there's work that I could do to be better. I don't need to buy as many things as I do. I could be more intentional, but it's not problematic for me. So I think we really need to take a step back and go but is my shopping causing me huge issues at home that are just adding to it. I think you're right Ingrid in that once you start to go on a decluttering journey and see the kind of benefit of less, then you start to realize that shopping is going to sabotage the progress that you have made on your decluttering journey. So that's the first step in terms of actually I don't want to buy that thing. Because I've done all this work. And I love hammer home locks. I love how I can move things around on my rail in my wardrobe. And I don't want to buy more stuff. And so it's part of a big cycle, isn't it? And it's you know, but what comes first? This is what comes first the decluttering or the curb in your shopping habits. What do you think? It's a kind of, it's all together, right? It is all wrapped up together. But I think what what I see with my clients is mainly, you can only think about what's coming in as soon as you see the clutter go down. You can't I think when you when you meet a client for the first time, you can't also say, Oh, by the way, you need to stop shopping.

14:15
I think they need to get that awareness of how much stuff they already have. And how much stuff is now unused in their wardrobes in their cupboards for them to realize the volume so stuff that they have before then you can say okay, look at how many you have. So what are the gap? Is that are there any gaps that you see here that you need to go shopping for or have you and then normally always say, I have so much I don't I didn't even realize how much stuff I have. So it means I don't need to go out shopping and that's where you can talk about Okay, so you need to go more intentional with your shopping. I think that's normally the way it goes. You can't just say right? Lots of clutter in this house. You

15:00
It stopped shopping. And we can learn to I think it normally goes the other way around. It's the same with food and meal planning, right? Once you get the food levels under control, and you need to, you know what's in your fridge, and then you're free to date and go, Oh, I can meal plan now. Now I'm ready to go meal planning. Now imagine think about doing a grocery shop every couple of days or every week instead of everyday going into the shops and just topping up and topping up and topping up and absolutely costing me a fortune. But I think you need to first have a really good overview of what you have in your house, to then make that leap to the next step. So you know what you're talking about. You know, what the suggestion? Well, you haven't suggested it. But you talked about the fact that you can't stop overnight. So do we believe then, as part of a decluttering journey that can almost go cold turkey? On your shopping? Yes, I think you can. But I think it's if you're doing and cold turkey and you're shopping and trying to declutter and be more, it's like, okay, I'm now going to, I need to do something about my weight, I'm going to eat clean, no sugar, not going out, not drinking any wine. Just doing em all the things at the same time. I think it's just too much. You need to gradually change those habits of right and need to maybe during the week start to eat more healthily. And during the week, I'm not going to have biscuits and chocolate and only in the weekend to build it up. Right? I think go cold turkey is just something that you fall back then in a tremendous way. It's like when you go on a crash diet, you can't keep it up. It's what's the equivalent of going of that phasing in, in a decline in a shopping journey then. So you've talked about the fact that you can set goals and set habits that are more achievable. So what would the equivalent be in a shopping context? I think less you arrived, you have to do it in a gradual way as well. You can't just say, Well, I'm never going to go to the shops again. I'm going to go to the shops to buy food in the first place. But I think what what is a good could be a really good first step is to go okay, if you now go to the shops every day, I'm going to go every other day, or we're going to go every three days, or I'm going to only go once a week. Or if you're always meeting your friend at the local shopping mall. Can you do something fun? Can you go to a I don't know go to the cinema or can you go for coffee? Or can you instead of wandering around the shops for hours? Can you replace that habit? Can you I don't know we've got a mini golf course here in blue water. Here you go play mini golf, you know, I know, but do something different just to kind of break that cycle of that habit that you have day in day out? I think you know, I think one of the points says, you know, you talked about doing something fun. And that just kind of rolls off your tongue. But a lot of people find shopping fun. Yeah, that's true.

18:02
I mean, if you gave me shopping or mini golf, I'm like, You know what? I'm doing the shopping? Oh, mini golf. Oh,

18:09
no, I do not want to do mini golf. So I think it's fine. I think it's really, you know, thinking what is it? That is an alternative that will make me happy. There might be a mid step between shopping and mini golf. But it's like having a glass of wine or going out for a nice dinner or lunch or something.

18:27
So yeah, mini golf. Yeah. Well, you know, maybe I can see you going down that route. But you know, that's your head talking because you don't find shopping fun. A lot of people love shopping. And that's the thing. We have to cut something off from our life that we absolutely love. And so yeah, me in gray. Yeah, no way. But gamma shopping wavelength, okay.

18:51
Anyway, I don't think I don't think my kids like shopping either. So we were in the Indian blue water the other day and after about two shops and was like, Can we go home now? No one in our family has got any problem with shopping. That's the problem that we've got here. But anyway. So yeah, I think it's really important to think about so just to sort of summarize the kind of things that we've been talking about. It's so important to understand your own triggers. That's what you know, where are you hitting that buy button? You know, what is it that's making you go out of the house and shopping is your first and primary pastime. Now, what can you do differently? Can you set some goals and have and try to sort of gradually change those habits? We can't do it overnight. We don't believe you can go cold turkey on this kind of thing. You know, we think it's got to be done very gradually started to cut things out started to find alternatives, things that you can do all important things. So I think that's it in a kind of broader context of the emotions related to that and how you can start breaking those habits. So we're going to pop to a break and we're going to come back after the break with some more specific things that you can do to break up our shopping habits. Hi, everyone.

20:00
Welcome back after your break, when we're talking about breaking your shopping habits, Lesley and I are just two completely different creatures, aren't we, Lesley, but we both agree that there's a lot of things you can do to help you with breaking the shopping habits. Yeah, I think it all starts first and foremost with a budget, right? I think you've got to be a budget needs to dictate what you buy. And you know, we were talking before the break about breaking things down into manageable goals Weren't we. And I think that a budget can do just that, because you can start to decrease that budget as time goes on. And so I think it's so important to have an assigned amount of money each month each week, however you year, whatever, however you want to manage your budget, although it's probably better to weekly and monthly if we're trying to shift it because a year is kind of a long time to stick with one. So I think it's so important to to get a budget for certain things in your life, that's realistic, assign it and try as hard as you can to stick to it. Now, I know a lot of people talk about this, because sometimes it's about compartmentalizing amounts of money. You know, a lot of people love a Cash System, that's quite hard. Now, you know, we're going into places now, I mean, maybe not big retail shops, but a lot of a lot of places like restaurants and stuff like that. But we don't really talk about restaurants. They're like, card only right now. So they don't even take cash. And so this, everything else is dictating our shopping really, you know, when you go to little markets and stuff like that, they're not taking cash anymore, a lot of them. So we can't always do that. But you can find an equivalent, maybe you can have little kind of pockets of money in certain bank accounts on certain cards that you can use, you know, we don't want it to make it overly complicated. But somehow, you need to have a system where when the money's gone, it's gone. And then you can't go back to it until there's a top of that money, which will be next month, next week, whatever that is, what do you think about that idea? Well, you know what, I think it's great, because I think, but it starts with realizing how much money you have. And I think that's where a lot of people because, you know, we used to have, you know, I remember my mom having an envelope, you know, I mean, not under the bed, but that was the money. And now of course it comes from a wall, it comes from a plastic card. And I think a lot of people have lost the overview of how much money actually do I have how much comes in how much ever got to spend, how much goes on your mortgage, or your rent, or your gas, your water electricity, you need to take fluctuations throughout the year into consideration. And I think because we don't see the money anymore, it's really sometimes difficult to get that overview and know how much money you've got to play with and to spend on things that you want to enjoy. And I think that is a crucial part of creating a budgets of just make, you know, take take a piece of paper and just start to write some stuff down and like do I actually know where my money is going to because when you know that, then you can go ah, this is the surplus that I have, I need to put some in savings as well. Because if your washing machine suddenly breaks, you don't want to go Oh, I didn't account for them. Because they always break of course, in the most expensive time of the year, you can count on it. So you need to have some of them, you know, spare and then you can go okay, this is what I've got left to either go clothes, shopping, shoe shopping, shopping for crafts, you know, you already need to take in your food into consideration as well that's essential. And then come all the other nice things, clothing, hair, nails, makeup, whatever it is that you like to do in your in your free time and what you want to spend money on, you need to have a good grasp and I think then breaking that down into a monthly amount and then breaking it down. Okay, so that means weekly, I have, I don't know, 50 pound or 100 pound or whatever much it is to buy something nice, but I've got everything else taken care of. And then I think that is also nice. Of course. You don't have to spend that money, but it's nice to kind of have a feel for Okay, how much have I got and some people you know, they may only go out once a month, but then they know okay, this is my budgets. So if I then buy one thing that is 180 pound, and I've got four times 50 pounds, I got 20 pounds left for something else, and I think it all starts to live a bit more in our heads. What our budget is. You're absolutely right. You do need a budget and sometimes that budget might be allocated to kind of discretionary spending, I guess. And so it might not be like this is my budget to go to the shops and buy clothes or whatever or crafts or whatever it might be. I've got whatever 100 pounds to spend this month on things that are not essential for example, and you got to them

25:00
Make a choice? Do I want to go out for dinner or go to the cinema? Or do I want to buy a new top Deluxe domain and you've got to make those, those judgments, you know, it's unlikely that you're going to be able to maybe a lot of people do allocate money towards the to now or you know, food or wherever, next out, whatever that may be. And it's up to you to determine what that budget is. But you're right, it needs to start there. You know, we talked about the transition from cash to card. And I think that even when you're on your phone all the time, and the ability to pay on your phone, now, it kind of takes another layer away, it's just another thing that you're doing on your phone, you know, like checking Instagram or Facebook or reading an email or paying for something and it's like, you're not even taking a card out of your wallet. So you've not even got that mental leap. So I think it's even more easy now to just pop it onto your phone. You know what I mean? And you know, the taken all of these layers out of where we do our little reality check and go I'm paying for this, you know, to me, and I think it just gets wrapped up in everything else on your phone. Do not I mean, I think anyway, so right, unless you the other day, I had to pay for something and I could pay my with my Google Wallet that's on my phone.

26:10
For just one split second, put my thumb on my, on my phone. And it already went. Oh my gosh, I hadn't even put my phone close to the things that I already paid for it.

26:24
Like beamed across.

26:27
I was like, wow. Like yeah, yeah, it's like the razor or something. I was like, Oh, I have to be really good. I think you're so right. In the in the, in the past, we had to take out our getup purse, or take out our wallet, get our card out. And then we still had time to go. Do I really, but now it's flipped. That's it.

26:51
Is and you know, and you barely even sometimes you barely even looking at it's just like a little register now as well. And you barely even looking at how much money it is. And you know, it's just taken out these low levels of consciousness, I think. And that's what it's all about. And so I do think it's, it's dangerous when a dangerous place. Really, when was it taking all of the this our own accountability and consciousness out of things. And talking about that? Consciousness. You know, we talked about budget, we talked about money. And I think that with Laird, within that we need to shop intentionally for whatever we are shopping for, whether that's toiletries, food, clothes, craft, I'm trying to think of all of the things, household items, new kitchen appliances, or kitchen, whatever. We need to shop intentionally, we need to consciously decide that is something that we need in our life that is going to add value to our life. And then we go out and look for that thing. I think shopping intentionally is the most critical thing to give you success in your decluttering journey. It has to start with the shopping ultimately, you know, it's it's, as we said before, it's all completely wrapped up. And shopping intentionally is everything when it comes to a decluttering journey. But it takes a while to get there. Yeah. Good example, I asked my daughter recently to swap her wardrobes around. So I said have gone through your wardrobes go through it all. See there's anything you don't fit anymore. You don't like any more take that out, we can put it into the donation station. It's going to be winter soon make a list and she said okay, and she came with a lesson she said, I think I need some new pajamas. I want some new shorts, socks, like these little ankle socks that more of like a thicker material that she really likes. I need to have a couple of long sleeve shirts, and I could really do with one pair of trousers. And I went perfect. And we didn't get all the things when we went to blue water too. But we got a couple of things. But we went with a list. We didn't just randomly walk around. Like we've got no idea what what she currently has, what we need, where the gaps are, we just kind of went okay, make a little list and she wrote it in her phone. Now in the olden days, there was be with my pen and paper, you know me old fashioned one with my list on paper and pen but now she's gonna put it in my phone and I went perfect. So that really helps. And of course, you know, when you see something along the way and there is budget for it, you can say okay, actually, that's really nice. You can do with something extra. But the list is the basic thing and not just going in blind. Yeah, exactly. And I think one of the one of the signs of not shopping intentionally, particularly when it's down to clothes, which we're talking a lot about today is when you have got stuff in your wardrobe with tags on it months, weeks, years after you bought them that was not an intentional purpose. Like you know, I did a little shopping spree a couple of weeks ago, but I have already worn 80% of the stuff that I bought. And the last thing that I did

30:00
I'm wearing on Saturday for an event that I'm going to. So it's not something I think if you've got stuff with tags on, you're just buying that because you thought it was nice waiting for something, it might come in those kinds of things. If you've got loads of stuff in your wardrobe with tags, you've not been shopping intentionally, in my opinion, you've been shopping because it was a bargain. Because it looks nice, because you fancied it on the day. So that's a kind of a bit of a warning sign of non intentional shopping, right? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So I think what's really important is when you do go shopping, write down every single thing you buy, write it down, I, I bought it top so much, I went into a hobby craft, and I spent, I don't know, 14 or 20 pounds, or whatever it is on, on crafts, I went to blah, blah, blah, and just keep track of your spending, because it will be eye opening. And don't forget that three pound 50 latte in your local coffee shop. And oh, yeah, that muffin that you had as well. Because all these things, you see your money disappear in front of your eyes, tapping away. And just being more aware of what you spent can be really, really helpful and, and writing it down can really help you with that visibility. Yeah, I mean, I don't think that in general, if you feel like you're okay that you need to write everything down. But I think if you're on the kind of habit tracking, changing my habits, I think that's when it's good to talk about raising that awareness. It's the same principle as taking everything out of your wardrobe to see what you have. And visibly see, this is the number of stuff that I've gotten. So it's all wrapped up in that it's about confident in yourself with what you're doing. That's what the writing things down. Like I don't write everything down when I've gone to buy it. But that's because I'm kind of sort of in control. Yeah, yeah, I think yeah, but I think it's a fantastic tactic. If you're on this journey towards breaking those shopping addictions to write down, this is what I bought in October, or whatever it is. And these are all the things and all that was a heavy month compared to November where I knew about these things. And you see, you can kind of track it and see it, you know, and sort of remind yourself, so yeah, very important. So what are a few other little bits that people can do then to kind of curb their spending a little bit because we've been we were we were talking about this in advance word we and we jotted some things down and we said, oh, those greet Doakes credit card that retailers want to give you that's a that's a trap as well, when you buy this, you can get 20% off the get a car, or you can pay it off. Oh no. I like oh, no, no, no, no, I don't want that thing subconsciously, it makes you want to get to that amount. And so if they're like, if you spend 100 pounds today, then you can get, I don't know 10% off everything that you spend in December or something, I don't know, whatever whatever it's going to be, then it makes you have a target for spending. And so it's entirely counterintuitive to what we're trying to do. So the same with reward reward schemes as well. Like, I rarely sign up for reward schemes, there are some shops that I know that I shop out a lot, and I will take their reward options. But if it's something I just think it's just extra, like, Oh, if I just I need to get to that reward level to get cheaper or whatever. So I don't have the reward schemes. And that's just my own personal opinion and with the credit cards and all that kind of thing, because I think it just gives you this a goal, which you shouldn't have to spend, you know, obviously it's all in there. That's why reward schemes are so prevalent within retailers because they want you to spend more at that shop. And now only you know whether that's you know, I've said before I shop at Marks and Spencers all the time because I get discount likes most works, they're pretty much 90% of what I buy is for Marks and Spencers. So of course I'm going to have their reward scheme, just to mean of course, I'm going to have their credit card because that makes sense for me. But I wouldn't take out a credit card in a shop that I randomly bought one thing for it because it's just another kind of, you know, so it's just another temptation there, isn't it? You know, I can shop at my own shop here. Yeah. And also, of course, a lot of people shop online, you know, so if you're feeling that you're succumbing to your online shopping habits, unfollow that show unsubscribe from the emails if you're feeling like you know what, I've seen inboxes of clients that have just got 40 different shops that they get emails from several times per week by this by that there's a sale you can get a discount you get and then when you click those open it's so easy to go Oh yeah, that does sound like a good deal well even realize but I don't even need it but because it sounds like a good deal. You're clicking in your and then they give you a oh the customer who bought this also bought this and this and this would you were looking at before and before you know what you're gonna have to 50 pounds worth of stuff in your basket while you just click on one email, right? So you have to be careful. unsubscribe if you know you know it

35:00
Do you get emails from a shop that you shop at all the time, you will go to their website on a regular basis to have a look, you don't need the emails to tell you everything that's going on, you know, you can be picky, unsubscribe for all that stuff. Take away that temptation in the first place. And of course, when things are in your baskets, just wait before you click Buy now, just wait. If it's late at night, and you're tired, and you've had a horrible day at work, or you've had a bad day with your health, shopping and really cheer you up and go, I'm gonna treat myself to some nice new things. But then the next day, you might have oh, no, and then you've got the hassle of is always on its way you haven't even tried it on, you might have to send it back. You're giving yourself lots and lots of extra work. So stop, think go to sleep. Think about it. And the next day when you come back and go, Oh, hold on a minute, what was I thinking last night? Because we again, online we get sucked in as well, right? It's like the shops, where they've got the music and the nice smells. You see everybody walking around with their little bags. But it's the same online. Other customers bought this. You're like, Oh, that looks good. I wonder who they like they're like me, I must like that as well. bomb in your basket. There you go another 15 quid.

36:21
They know how to. That's their production. Today's marketing techniques, Ingrid, you seem to be very aware of their? Well, you know what, because you see it all the time, it's so easy to do. Because they want us to buy they want us to part with our hard earned cash. And it's so hard to say hold on a minute. No, because they're they they draw a spin when your beautiful website and all their different models and the different clothes and all Mart are to stay away. So I just don't go up there because I know.

36:58
So just to sort of finish off today, what we're talking about, I think it's important to realize that when you're on a decluttering journey, this is part of that journey. And it's where you get to now we're talking about this now because it's Black Friday, next week, if you're listening to this in real time, let's talk let's call it that. And so we want you to think about some of these things before you start. Well, you you will already be bombarded with stuff because the Black Friday sale starts on way before today. Yeah. And so you will already be bombarded but it's going to come to a crescendo probably on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, next week. And so we really want you to think about this and think of anything that you can do to try and stop yourself from succumbing to those retail habits. I think that it's so interesting. Well, isn't it in, in our I mean, you know, we've talked about our membership many, many times, and we absolutely love it. But one of our favorite things, actually, the thing that we're waiting for more than anything, of course, we love people decluttering their houses, of course, we love the transformation pieces. But what we're all about is mindset change, you know, what we're looking for our ultimate goal is that the mindset of that person who has gone through a decluttering and organizing journey, yes, they've organised their home and super proud of it. But their mindset has shifted so much so that they do not want to sabotage that by going out and buying an excess of things, which is what brought them to this place in the first place. And so when our members are doing no spend months we have this happens quite regularly, we have loads of accountability threads and people talking about what they're doing in the membership. And it's always lovely when somebody goes, You know what I'm going to do next month, I'm going to do a no spend month, and then they chronicle what they've done for the rest of the members. It's so inspirational, isn't it Ingrid. And we can see at that point, this person has got to that point where they're really, really intentional, and really not willing to go back to that place where they were, with a decluttering journey. We don't want to just do it once we want to continually go through that cycle, to completely change your main mindset and make sustainable changes in your home. This is not a once and done thing. Not at all. And so that's what makes us super happy. And we see that all the time. We love it. We love a forum post popping up when someone says, Yeah, who wants to join me for a no spend month but like, Yeah, go for it. Yeah. And I think it's also like when you see a, I've made an inventory of my fridge or my freezer, and I'm going to eat out of that for a while. Or I have done an inventory of my pantry and I'm going to do that. Or oh my gosh, with the membership. I've decluttered my sort of my paperwork I've now done I got an renewal informing insurance and I've actually were able, I was able to phone around and look online at quotes and I've saved 200 pounds or whatever on my insurance. Those are the things that come when the clutter has gone down and you actually have the time and the energy and the space in your mind to start looking at those things. And that's when we go

40:00
Wow, they have really gone over, you know, they're they're reaching the pinnacle of what we hope that happens. Because the membership is so much more than let's declutter some stuff, it is about all the things that you see happening. And it's lovely, it's lovely. You know, the difficulty that we have, sometimes England is is kind of explaining that that initial investment into a monthly or quarterly or an annual membership is going to reap so many rewards in the long run and save you, like, tenfold over what your membership fee is, you know, and that's a difficult marketing message to get out there when somebody's right at the beginning of their journey. Because ultimately, when you see a decluttering and organizing membership, your focus in your mind is taking you to I want to declutter my living room, it's not taken you to, I don't want to go to Walmart every week, or whatever you got. I mean, and so it's so interesting. And it's one of the things one of the many things that we love, but as you say, that is when we believe that people are getting to the pinnacle. They're, you know, our job is done at that point, isn't it? Ingrid? And that's me. So because people have made that made that shift. So yeah, I've enjoyed talking about shopping. Are you going to get anything for Black Friday? Ingrid?

41:16
I don't think so. I can't think of anything. Maybe Maybe Anne once has put something on her list for Christmas. And that might be a smart thing to get for her in the Black Friday. So yes, absolutely. If you can, if you can go in early. Um, you know, you know, we do I mean, Steve's a big shopper in our house, and he buys all the Christmas presents and stuff. So he definitely has got an eye on the Black Friday sales. And that's good, because it's intentional, right? Yeah. So yeah, things like that are great. But yeah. So anyway, like Friday, don't I feel like I want to go out shopping with you on day and try to, you know, actually, you know what, I think I would actually enjoy that Lesley. Yeah, because I you I think you've got such a good eye for you always. You always look so lovely. You've always got really nice outfits and things. I think you would actually I think would be fun. I think you I think we go out alive. Friends. If I if I demonstrate the same level of honesty when we were out on a shopping trip, you're like, No, take that off. That looks rubbish on you.

42:20
Combined with a guy oh my god.

42:23
I'm literally like reduced to tatters all the things that I'm wearing.

42:30
But maybe one day,

42:32
we'll 
be going around the world trip together. Yeah, exactly. This one, we're going to do it. But anyway, we're going off on a tangent. So let's wrap this up. We would love for you to tell us. How are you going to navigate Black Friday? Have you thought about this? Have you already? Are you already tired on Black Friday, you're like I'm gonna buy your thing. I've done everything. But we would love to know tell us go to our Facebook group. And go to declutter hub.com forward slash group you can tell us there or if you're watching this on YouTube, leave us a comments. Or if you're a maybe on our website, you can leave a comment as well. We would love to know. So thank you so much for watching and or listening, and we'll see you next week.

43:20
Thanks so much for listening to the declutter hop podcast. Don't forget to subscribe to us in your podcast player so you don't miss an episode. And we'll see you next week.
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Recent Posts
Episode 312 – 10 clutter hotspots and how to fix them

Episode 311 – How to declutter when everything in your home feels sentimental

Episode 310 – How to choose what to wear with Jennifer Mackey-Mary

Episode 309 – The evolution from chaotic to calm

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Liv says:

18 November 2023 at 11:24 PM

I recently found your podcast after beginning my own decluttering journey and I’ve found it so insightful! I’m really loving how you two interact and laugh with each other and how knowledgeable you both are! Your 10 things episodes are my favourite!

I’ve just finished listening to your most recent episode and it’s really got me thinking… I’m fairly intentional with my shopping and I let things sit in my Amazon basket for ages so I can keep re-evaluating whether I need it and that works great! My downfall though is when I eventually go to purchase and it says something along the lines of ‘spend another £5 for free shipping’… so of course I have to find something otherwise I’ve essentially wasted that money on shipping. Companies definitely know how to get you to spend more and it’s a right pain!

Reply
1. Lesley Spellman says:
  
  20 November 2023 at 9:26 AM
  
  Hi Liv
  
  It's great that you understand your trigger. You are half way there then. Make it a non negotiable if you can not to ad to cart. Money saved but clutter added is the choice.
  
  Glad you're enjoying the podcast!
  
  Lesley
  
  Reply
GLORIANNE says:

17 November 2023 at 9:12 PM

The pandemic cured me of shopping habits- it was going "cold turkey". Now I always have a list and a plan. However, all those items around the checkout counter are very tempting, especially if I'm waiting in a long line. For Black Friday, I hope to stick to my gift list.

Reply
1. Lesley Spellmanle says:
  
  20 November 2023 at 9:26 AM
  
  Fantastic Glorianne!
  
  Reply
Bethanie Branton says:

17 November 2023 at 1:05 PM

Ingrid, (Lesley i love you too!) i am completely on board with you on this! I can not do the ‘digging for a bargain’ thing. I am too overwhelmed by it all. I don’t really shop anyway, i replace. I chose to celebrate ‘buy nothing Friday’ instead of Black Friday. Love you ladies!! Thank you for another great podcast!! It’s my new favorite and i have binged all the episodes. Have a lovely week!

Reply
1. Lesley Spellman says:
  
  17 November 2023 at 2:00 PM
  
  I'm so glad you're enjoying it Bethanie! We love a podcast binger!!
  
  Reply
  1. Bethanie Branton says:
    
    17 November 2023 at 2:15 PM
    
    Oh my goodness!! I am so star struck!! Last time i left a comment on what my legacy would be as a minimalist and Ingrid replied. Now you!! I feel so special!! Live your podcast!!
  2. Lesley Spellman says:
    
    17 November 2023 at 2:21 PM
    
    Ha ha – so funny. It's just plain old Ingrid and me. We love our community and read and reply to everyone. It's so important to us to keep our community close x
Episode 268 – How to break your shopping habits

Episode 312 – 10 clutter hotspots and how to fix them

Episode 311 – How to declutter when everything in your home feels sentimental

Episode 310 – How to choose what to wear with Jennifer Mackey-Mary

Episode 309 – The evolution from chaotic to calm

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