Episode 228 – How to form habits with Ros Fielden

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Often when we talk about forming new habits it’s January when we are all fired up and raring to go in the New Year. But February often brings with it a slump - new habits start to wane so what better time to revisit this than now? In today’s podcast we talk to Ros Fielden, a health coach about her health journey and how to build sustainable habits.
A graphic image of Ingrid & Lesley with others working on the Prosper Programme
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Transcript
Lesley: Often when we talk about forming new habits, it's January when we're all fired up and raring to go in the new year, but February often brings with it a slump. New habits start to wane.

So what better time to revisit this than now? 

Voiceover: You're listening to the Declutter Hub Podcast, bringing you tried and tested, no nonsense tips and advice from the leading experts in decluttering and organizing your home. Now, here's your host, Lesley Spellman.

Lesley: Hello and welcome listeners, I'm Lesley. If you are new to the Declutter Hub podcast, you are so welcome. What you'll find here is reality, empathy, and advice by the bucket load. We just wanted to remind everyone about our show notes page that you'll find at [00:01:00] declutterhub.com/228.

You can watch the podcast on YouTube, you can find all the useful links we talk about, and most importantly, you will find a subscribe button to follow our show, so it pops into your notifications each Friday. Today I am very excited to welcome our guest, Ros Fielden. Now, as some of you know, or you may have heard, Ros has not one, but two professional hats on.

She is of course, an integral part of the Declutter Hub team and keeps all our wheels turning, and Ingrid and I sane. But when she's not immersed in our decluttering world, she's a health coach, working with clients, helping them turn their lives around by forming new habits in nutrition, wellbeing, and exercise and more besides. So what better person to talk to than Ros to delve into forming and sustaining new habits? Welcome, Ros. 

Ros: Oh, hello. Thank you for having me today.

Lesley: I mean, it's quite, it's quite strange because we literally look at each other all day long [00:02:00] while we're working together. So for those of you who don't know, Ros is part of the Declutter Hub team, and she does all of our adminstration, our podcast, she looks at our social media, she manages our members she answers all your support tickets. And so basically she's an all around good egg that we can't do without. And so, but we would love to see the other side of Ros today, and that's what we want to talk about. So Ros, let's dive straight into habits.

Now, I said in the intro, We all start off with great intentions, don't we? In January, it's like, yes, this is it. New year, new habit forming whether we like it or not, whether we buy into that whole new year, new you thing or not. We can't help but kind of draw a line in the sand and think about things in a fresh way at the beginning of the year.

And so you are a health coach. You've been working in this field for quite a number of years. What sort of patterns do you see when it comes to habits after this kind of new year? Flurry of activity? 

Ros: Well, I think often at the start of the new year, we're really enthusiastic and motivated to create those new, [00:03:00] healthier habits.

But the issue with this is always sustainability. Resolutions, often they're like really big ones like losing weight or going to the gym three times a week, which is why they'll then only last for a short period of time because it's not something that somebody can maintain. So people get discouraged and then, and then they often end up giving.

So I've found that any time of the year is a good time of year to start and often the pressure of New Year's resolutions, you know, creates more pressure and that can be then detrimental. So if we look at an example of yo-yo dieting for instance we go from our normal eating habits, you know, we make that new New Year's resolution, we say, I'm going to lose a stone or whatever it is, and we go from our normal eating habits to deprivation effectively. We take, we take away a lot of stuff, and that in itself is unsustainable. Because we are not really setting ourselves up for success by doing that. You know, we might initially lose some weight, but then often, you know, we can't sustain the deprivation side of things because it's not the way, you know, it's not a [00:04:00] sustainable habit or a sustainable way of living.

So then you kind of end up back at your previous weight. So it's really, really better to start small and slowly when you're changing your habits. Choose one or two things that are your priority and then start with those. So as an example, if I am seeing a client who wants to work and improving their diet at any time of year I don't actually start with asking them to take things out.

Of their diet. I actually asked them to put things into their diet that are healthier. For instance, adding like one extra vegetable, at each meal for example. And that's where we start. That's a starting point, and it's, it's all about creating those sustainable changes rather than just doing the kind of the big thing at New Year.

I think it's really interesting, Ross. Cause I think, 

Lesley: you know, I'm with you, Ingrid and I are definitely with you in terms of any time of year is a good time of year to get started on trying to change those habits. But it's hard, isn't it, because everybody wants it. And so as the Declutter Hub, we need [00:05:00] to help people who want it, but it's trying to get that education across, which is what we're talking about, isn't it?

And trying. Yeah, we're trying to change people's mindsets in terms of the way that they want to work with habits. And so it's hard for us not to, you know, so what a lot of people, you know, in the decluttering world and so on at the moment are sort of talking about, oh, don't worry about New Year's resolutions, but I say, do worry about that if you want to and you feel this is, this is your opportunity for a fresh start, take January or February and run with it. But as you say, it's all about trying to think about it in a different way. I want to, I want to take things right back to basics, Ros, because you know, this is all, this is a podcast all about habits and we are gonna link the things together in terms of the things that you are talking about with health.

A lot of people, in fact, who want to declutter their homes will also have, alongside that, a desire to change things in terms of health and nutrition and wellbeing. They're often intrinsically linked as we know, which is why this was such a great sort [00:06:00] of marrying up of ideas, really. But I wanna take things right back to basics and talk about what is a habit, right? We talk about habits, what is it? 

Ros: Okay, so a habit is a regularly repeated behavior, which requires little or no thought at all. So it's something that's been learned through repetition and reinforcement to the point where it's become automatic. So that's the, that's the kind of the technical definition of a habit.

So we have habits relating to eating, sleeping, our thought processes shopping. And so it's anything that that becomes, you know, we repeat and we repeat and repeat and it becomes automatic. So the, the obvious one to think about is cleaning your teeth. So when you're a child you know, it's kind of drummed into clean your teeth every, every morning and every bedtime.

And when I'm working with my clients, that's often really useful because a good way of changing a habit or adding in a new habit is to attach a new habit to an old habit. So for instance, you can attach something to your morning habit of cleaning your teeth. [00:07:00] So before you clean your teeth you do some breathing exercises or something.

So, you know, depending on what it is. But that's a good way of actually you know, creating a new habit. 

Lesley: Definitely. Can I just go back to your definition of it, Ros? Cause I'm really interested in breaking that down, right? So just repeat that definition that you that you read out for me and I wanna talk about each individual component of that really.

Ros: Okay. So a habit is a regularly repeated behavior, which requires little or no thought at all. It's something that's being learned through repetition and reinforcement and has become automatic. 

Right. That's so interesting in the decluttering world. Cause I think the thing that I'm thinking about in terms of the way that we teach and the, the biggest habit that we would encourage people to have is the daily resets, I guess.

And that's where, what Ingrid and I, it definitely is a repeatable thing. I can't remember what it was that you said now, a repeatable thing, action that requires no [00:08:00] thoughts. And I think that's it. It's getting those, getting that into your mind, and it takes a while, Ros. Right? 

It does. It does. And that's, that's so important because I think patience is, is really the key here.

You know, we can't change our habits. , you know, it's not a quick fix. It's something that takes time, it takes effort. And you know, what we're actually doing is you know, rewiring our brains. You know, as humans we have this kind of wonderful ability. To actually well, which is called neuroplasticity which means that we can actually change our thought processes in the way we think, you know, you can, we do have the capacity to, to do that.

And having the, the self-belief. and the knowledge that we can do that is also important because, you know, when you're creating a new habit, you are either overwriting an old neural pathway, or you are creating a new neural pathway. And that, you know, can be tiring because you know, your, your brain's actually rewiring.

So being patient with the process is, is really, really the key [00:09:00] I think. 

Lesley: Yeah, definitely. I love that. So neuroplasticity, is that what you said? 

Ros: Yes neuroplasticity. Yeah. 

Lesley: We should be really be getting you to come and be our scientist, Ros in the Declutter Hub , the person that does all our podcast stuff. And so, yeah, I love that and I, I like the idea of the fact that you can overwrite an existing pattern or you can create a new one. And that's where perhaps something that people need to think about, you know? So I know you know, in back in January we did our Reset Your Home Challenge and a lot of the ways that we teach right at the beginning, you know, day one we talk about being kind to yourself, drawing a line under the sand starting to think about decluttering in a different way, which is emotionally led.

And so that would be rewriting. , that kind of pathway. And then some of the things learning how to declutter then would be more about doing something completely new. So, Why is it so hard? I mean, you've alluded to this a little bit, so why is it so hard to [00:10:00] sustain things, to change things, to create those new neural pathways?

It's quite the tongue twister, isn't it Ros, ?

Ros: It is a little bit.

Lesley: 

Neural pathway.

Ros: Yeah, well, I mean, you know, it, it, your brain is you know, takes a lot of energy. So while you're doing this, this is, it is, you know, it is a tiring process. And you know, we are talking about repetitive automatic responses that we've developed over decades.

So it's not something that is just something you can snap your fingers and, and, you know, and oh, there we go. It's changed. It, it does take time and it takes effort. And it takes perseverance. And you know, we do have all those kind of emotional. Blocks or emotional responses to things. For example, if you've had a really difficult day and you kind of reach for that glass of wine or chocolate, that's an emotional response.

That is an automatic response that's been created probably learned from maybe, you know, years ago. So it takes time to actually change these things and rewire your neural pathways effectively. . So, you know we talked about the [00:11:00] Declutter Hub, and I think your members are really learning to rewire their thought processes around kind of possessions and the emotions attached to all to that side of things.

So you know, and our emotions can really get in the way sometimes you know, self-worth , how we value ourselves, how kind we are to ourselves. I think you mentioned that a few minutes ago. But being kind to yourself is so important in lifestyle change, in decluttering in, in life in general.

I think it's really important because nobody's perfect and you know we wouldn't talk to our friends or our family necessarily in the way that we talk to ourselves. And I think that's, that's definitely something that needs addressing. 

Lesley: So what do you consider to be the biggest barrier that stands in people's way from forming new habits?

Ros: I think there are a few things that spring to mind. , when we think about what the kind of biggest barriers are, I think self-worth is definitely one.

I think the fact that we are often brought up to think that looking after ourselves is [00:12:00] selfish, when actually self-care is incredibly important. And I think, I think kindness is. Is often an issue and as is patience. And I, again, I think it's like we, we want what we want right now. And you know, that's human nature.

We want those changes to happen instantly. And I think, I think working out how we can navigate the pathway of change whilst being patient and not getting discouraged is the key to making those changes sustainable. 

Lesley: I think it's interesting, Ros because I think one of the things that we, we talk about quite a lot is the fact that we tell ourselves stories that keep ourselves stuck in a certain position. And so I think it is, and they're very powerful. You know, we. We say, I can't do this because I am this or I can't do this and it might be because no one is here to help me. I can't do this because I work too long and too hard. I can't do this because [00:13:00] I've got fibromyalgia. I can't do this because I've had a bad day. Do you know what I mean? We talk about all those things. 

Ros: Yeah. Yeah. 

Lesley: And breaking through those barriers and switching that into a positive is what's required. But that's not easy and it will require working, as you say, in in small, sustainable chunks of effort to try and make these little tiny steps forward every day rather than these huge leaps.

I mean, we've, you know, within the membership, you know, People who want to declutter their homes, we want that instantly. Right? And it's the same in the health and nutrition world. You know, we wanna be that person that can go and do a 10K run, or that's lost a stone, or that's, you know, or in the decluttering world that has a decluttered living room. We wanna be that person so badly that we want it to happen quickly. , it can happen quickly, but is it sustainable? Do you know what I mean?

Ros: Mm-hmm.

Lesley: We can lose a stone. The 10K runs a little bit more tricky to be fair, but we can, we can lose a stone within a month if we want [00:14:00] to. But as you say, it's all about deprivation. It's not about creating habits and creating those habits. It's absolutely the key to making permanent change, which is what we want. What mindset change, don't we, Ros? 

Ros: Yeah, absolutely and something that's really you know, helpful. in changing your mindset and going through this slow process of change is accountability. And that's what you know, I offer to my clients as a health coach and you as the Declutter Hub offer to your members to give them the accountability and the support. That's required to go through this process at the pace which is going to ultimately end up being sustainable.

Lesley: It's a tough journey on your own, and it's nice to have somebody else kind of cheering you along from the sidelines and encouraging you to make these changes.

Ultimately, it's a journey. It's a personal journey, but it's one that is much easier if you have somebody else that gets it and that is gonna try and get you through those tough times. That's what this is all about. Now you answer all of [00:15:00] our support tickets and stuff like that that come into the Declutter Hub, so you've obviously immersed yourself in the decluttering world, you've never had a problem with clutter before in your life, I presume, although we've never spoken about that , now you don't distract me as somebody who's had a problem with clutter at any point.

And so it must have been really interesting for you to. Sort of switch into a world that is kind of almost parallel to the one that you're doing in terms of mindset and thoughts and processes and so on. How do you see decluttering and wellbeing being related to each other? Where do you think the crossover is? 

Ros: Well, I think there's a huge crossover because if you're living in a cluttered environment and you're not happy with that it will be having an impact on your health and wellbeing. You know, and lifestyle is all part of, the mindset that kind of creates issues with regards to decluttering and lifestyle is often very, very similar. You know, we are want, we are wanting to change the mindset you know, to help move forwards to be where you want to be in life. You know, to have your home in the way you want to have it to, you know, be healthy in [00:16:00] your body.

You know, these things are all very similar. And I think, you know, what I love about the Declutter Hub is that you have all these learning resources that you provide for your members before they even start the physical decluttering process. And I think that, you know, that process of understanding why people feel the need to hold onto certain possessions is so important in the same way that when I work with my health coaching clients, you know, we talk about the emotions behind eating in the way they're eating or why they're not sleeping well, or how they're managing their stress.

You know, it's all, it's all interconnected and I don't think we can kind of separate out the two. And I think we, I think, you know, it functions in a very similar way in that we're creating small sustainable goals over a period of time to get to where that person wants to ultimately be.

Be it decluttering, be it lifestyle change. , you know, it's, it's very intricately connected. 

Lesley: Yeah, definitely. I think you're right, Ros and I think what I've seen over the kind of [00:17:00] 12, 13 years, that I've been a professional organizer, so whether that's when I've been working one-to-one in people's homes or whether that's with our members or and people within our communities within the declutter hub is that getting your house in order facilitates the next step.

So it either encourages the next step. So we see a lot of people who are like, I've done my house, now it's down to my body. Right? And so it's like I needed to get my house in order first cuz that's the thing that's bothering me most. And now I'm ready to move on to the next thing. So we have so many people who have done their home and then they're like, right, what about me now?

And then they go onto their body and their mind as well. But you absolutely need to make those changes from a food perspective. You need to have the right things in your home. You need to know where those things are in your kitchen. All of those things are super important as well. So it's so linked, so it's so interesting.

Now one of the things that we've not spoken about, Ros, which is your incredible story, okay? As to how you became a health coach. So what I'm [00:18:00] gonna do is gonna go to a little break now, and then after the break we're gonna talk about you, your health coach, and your inspirational story. So we'll see you in a moment. 

Lesley: Did you start your decluttering in January with gusto and now your energy and commitment is starting to wane? Maybe you thought you could be self-motivated, but now you see you are missing out on something. You need accountability support. Weekly challenges maybe. Of course we can help with that. Our membership has tools to suit all types of people and all types of learning.

Come and take a look. Check out our membership options@members.declutterhub.com, and if you want to delve a little bit deeper and chat through exactly how it all works, you can book a discovery call to chat to Ingrid or I. The discovery call options are on the same page, too members.declutterhub.com. We would love to help you to get to the next stage in your journey.

Hi everyone. Welcome back and welcome back [00:19:00] to Ros. Okay Ros, I've known you for a long time, so yes, you work for us within the Declutter Hub. We are both in rock choir together. Anybody who doesn't know, most people know Ingrid is in rock choir, I'm in rock choir and I met you in Rock Choir.

It's like, it's just a thing. You have to be able to be in Rock Choir if you want to be part of the Declutter Hub and so this is my experience of the Ros that came to us when she was about, I'm gonna say 41, 42 years old. Gorgeous, tall. She had been a dancer in her youth. She was always the person that did all the dance routines at Rock Choir and she was just all round, energetic bundle of fun.

And then all of a sudden, a few years in. Something happened with her health and the Ros that we knew before was not the Ros that we knew then. And now I'm gonna let you take over, Ros, and tell your story. 

Ros: Okay. So it all started in 2016. I noticed that my right knee was clicking on the school run and within like two days, [00:20:00] everything swelled up. So my ankles, knees, hands, wrists, elbows, shoulders, everything. A lot of pain. lot of swelling. And so I obviously went to my GP. I had a referral to a rheumatologist and I was diagnosed seronegative inflammatory arthritis, which is effectively rheumatoid arthritis without the rheumatoid factor in your blood. So...

Lesley: Can I stop you there, Ros? 

Ros: Yes, absolutely. 

Lesley: So just explain the difference between those two to me. 

Ros: So rheumatoid, what, what, when you say it's not got the rheumatoid in your blood, what is that? 

There's a blood test that they do looking for something called the rheumatoid factor. If you have the rheumatoid factor, you are given a diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis.

Lesley: Okay.

Ros: If you are, if you don't have it, but you have all the other symptoms you're given a diagnosis of seronegative inflammatory arthritis, which is a bit more of a mouthful. 

Lesley: Yes. I dunno what it's, but I'll, I'll, I'm sure some people do. Sorry, I just wanted to know that, sorry. 

Ros: So for those of you who don't know it, that's an autoimmune condition where your body your body's immune system overreacts and it attacks [00:21:00] itself.

So in this it attacks the joints. So I was put on some really powerful medication. One of them specifically being methotrexate, which is a cancer treating drug, chemotherapy drug just in smaller doses, which may effectively suppresses your immune system so it stops attacking itself. But with the drugs comes a lot of side effects as you can imagine.

So I basically swapped out the kind of some symptoms for other symptoms you know, taking, taking these drugs and I was told that I'd have to take them basically for the rest of my life which was, you know quite a difficult thing to hear. You know, as you said, I, you know, used to be a dancer and I, you know, my body, you know, moving my body was something that I was so used to doing that not being then able to do that was was awful.

So. I had lots of horrible symptoms. I couldn't hold a fork in my left hand. I couldn't really feed myself particularly well, couldn't chop things up. My kids used to do my buttons and help me get changed. Couldn't get into the bath myself. Couldn't get out of the bath myself. So yeah, you know, it [00:22:00] kind of coloured every area of my life in a very negative way. But I got to the point where I thought, well, there's got to be a better way. There's got to be a better way to, to, to deal with this. So I did lots of Googling and I ended up seeing a nutritional therapist who was amazing. She told me to take gluten, dairy and sugar out of my diet initially.

We were actually about to go on holiday to France at that point, so I was thinking, how am I, how on earth am I gonna do that? You know, the land of baguettes and cheese and pain au chocolat. But I, I actually managed it. And by the time we got back from the holiday I was noticeably different, kind of noticeably improved.

The fatigue wasn't quite as bad and. By the time I saw the rheumatologist at my next appointment I was significantly improved. . The next point of my journey was discovering functional medicine which is all about finding the root cause and the problem rather than giving a medication to treat the symptoms.

So I found out there that I was lucky in certain nutrients and it really went from there, started doing lots of self-care was able to start doing my yoga and Pilates again. Go for walks. I introduced a [00:23:00] meditation practice to navigate kind of the stress which has been really beneficial. And I managed to come off all medications.

And, you know, not everybody with autoimmune conditions can do that. But I was very lucky in that sense that I was able to stop taking all the medication. And I continued to eat a nutrient enriched diet with minimal processed food. I still don't eat dairy and gluten. Sugar I struggle a little bit more with, I do that does creep in sometimes, but I'm only human.

Lesley: Yeah. We saw you eating those sweets at your 50th birthday party, Ros. She was like, oh look she's eating sweets.

I just wanna say how that was from the outside looking in, so we weren't like super close or anything at that time. We were just somebody else at choir. You were a friend, of course you were. But not as close as we are now. And I think that you went from being a bundle of energy who could do anything that you wanted to, to someone who, when we did a performance at the Royal Northern College of Music, had to sit on a chair, and it was [00:24:00] just such a rapid decline.

That it was unbelievable to watch. You know, you were only what, 45, 46 at the time. So still a young person and it was just such a stark contrast to what we had known before. But equally, the rise out of that Ros, was incredible. So you went from somebody who couldn't stand up, couldn't get in the bath, couldn't hold a fork to back to the way that you were, and now you're completely 100% back to the way when we first met you and to do that, you know, yourself through nutrition, through learning, through education, and through knowing what the right thing is for your body is just an incredible kind of transformation story. And so I, I just think it's incredible to watch. And so anybody that, you know, I meet who's going through, you know, so, so many people have got autoimmune problems at the moment, Ros.

Do you know what I mean? And I'm like, you need to know Ros and you need to understand her story and how she's taken herself and managed her own condition without medication. Back [00:25:00] to, you know, I'm sure you probably don't feel that you're at a hundred percent of health now, but you know, It's incredible.

So I just wanted to add my, because you've said you've told your story so many times, but it is a real transformation piece. It's unbelievable. You know I can still vividly remember and feeling so bad when our Ros, who normally was next to us on the front row, singing at this performance was in a chair at the side, it was very sad, but equally so happy that you've come to where you've come to now.

It's brilliant. So, okay, so you've done this fantastic, fantastic transformation, which I will wax lyrical about forever. What has kept you on the straight and narrow Ros? I mean, we did sneak in the fact that you were eating sugar at your 50th birthday party, but apart from that, what has kept you on the straight and Cause you are, that is, that is, that's where...

Ros: That is unusual. That is very unusual for me 

Lesley: ...where we're, you know, we do go out socially and Ros is always really, you know, you do, you do have a drink, you do eat, you know, you are not like a, [00:26:00] you do have a diet that you want to eat, a beautiful diet, you know, it always looks nutritionally so healthy and stuff like that, but it is health.

It's a healthy diet. 

Ros: Yeah, I mean, what I advocate is to eat real food effectively, and that's what I do. I eat a minimal minimal amount of processed food. I do have a, the odd drink. I rarely eat sugar but I do occasionally. But really, you know, it's, it's a, it's kind of discovering the joy in food again.

You know, I really did, you know, I cook from scratch you know, and I, I love food, you know, I'm, I'm a real foodie. And 

It, it hasn't kind of held me 

back in the sense that I, you know, I still enjoy my food. I still, I still love what I eat. But yes, it is modified a little bit. You know, I don't eat any gluten.

But there are plenty and, or, or any dairy. And there's plenty, but there's plenty of. 

Amazing food that I can eat. And that's what I think I've changed is that I, you know, I have very much that mindset. It's like, well, what can I eat? I don't, I, I choose not to look at, you know, the things that I [00:27:00] don't eat.

You know, I, I look at all the amazing array of food that I, that I actually can consume. And, you know, I think a big motivating factor to keep me on the straight and narrow, as you say, is is that I feel better, you know, I can live my life the way I want to. I can be a good Mum. I can look after my kids.

You know, I never wanted them. I was terrified that they would have to look after me. And, you know, I just didn't want that to be their life. , know, I think that probably is, is, is a strong motivating factor as well. But I enjoy life and I'm very grateful. You know, I, I have a lot of gratitude for the fact that I have managed to go through this process and, and, you know, come out of it in a, in a, in a positive way.

And, you know, that's why I ended up training as a health coach because ultimately I wanted to help support other people to actually, you know, make lifestyle change and, and to feel better. , 

Lesley: Definitely. And I think, you know, it's interesting cause I was sort of thinking about it and, you know, thinking about how to really make such colossal change and there's a, there's a need there for you, there was a need for [00:28:00] your own health and wellbeing, a very acute need then at that point for you to change something in order for you to live and get back to the way that you wanted to be. But many of us are like that, but it's perhaps not quite. So we can see a decline in the way that we are not looking after our bodies, not looking after our health, not going out for walks, not eating the right thing.

You know? So we see that and we know where that leads. Right? The, the statistics are out there. I know some of the things that I do will add to my cancer risk, will add to all of those things. And, you know, mental wellbeing, Ros, let's just put it out there. It's all about, you know, those walks.

The way that you eat. A lot of it is about the positivity that you feel on a day-to-day basis. . And so there was something acute in terms of what you had to do, but you could have chosen not to, right. You could have chosen to take that journey slower. You could have fallen off the wagon at any moment, which would've been completely natural, but you didn't.

So what strategies that you have used do you now share with your [00:29:00] clients? 

Ros: I think the most powerful strategy for me is gratitude? You know, really understanding every day and being grateful for every day and living in the moment I think is a really important thing. You know, I have a gratitude practice where, you know, every time, every bedtime I go to bed before I fall asleep, I think of three things that I'm grateful for from that day.

And it doesn't have to be like massive. You know, massive things. It could be that, you know, I just had a really nice chat with one of my kids, or somebody held a door open for me at the supermarket, or, you know, it could have been anything. But it, it just, it's a reminder that, you know, I, I'm healthy. You know, I'm able to live my life in the way I want to.

And I'm really, really grateful for that. And I do feel very lucky that I'm in that position. . Another important thing I think to recognize is that we do have agency over our own and I think often we're so used to going to the doctor and being told to take a tablet for whatever symptom we're attending for that we [00:30:00] forget that we are in charge of our own bodies.

And that there's so much we can do from a lifestyle perspective to improve our health and wellbeing. You know, obviously some people need to take medication. I'm not against medication in any way. It's wonderful when, when required and when needed. You know, we can make big changes you know, with small changes from a lifestyle perspective kind of one habit at a time.

Now, I'd love to hear from the listeners as to what one habit they would like to change today. You know, it could be anything from making sure you're staying hydrated. , which is really important. It could be eating one less biscuit with your cup of tea or it could be just going to bed 15 minutes earlier.

But, but the important thing is that's a start. And I think we mentioned it earlier, but patience is the big one for me as well. You gotta play the long game because change takes time and we're, we're effectively rewiring our brains as we discussed. And that can be tiring. And we need to accept.

So that we can then persevere [00:31:00] and move us forwards to create those sustainable habits, habits that are gonna serve us well in life. You know, and, and keep us well.

Lesley: I think the big thing that's shining through Ros with the kinds of things that you're talking about, and we, we are exactly the same in the Declutter Hub, is all about the positivity. So we've talked a lot about kindness. You've talked about gratitude. You've talked about the fact that you look at the food that you are eating in terms of what lovely food can you eat and not what you can't eat. And you know, just in the decluttering world, you know, we talk a lot about looking at the types of things that you want to keep, rather than focusing on things that you're having to let go of. So framing things in a positive way is definitely what's gonna, you know, make that sustainable change and make these little tiny steps forward on a consistent basis.

And so I love that. And you know, I hope that people. Get things out of that, to think about things in a, in a positive way. I mean, you know, you talk about gratitude and we do have something within the Facebook group every week called Thankful Thursday. It's one of my favorite times of the week to [00:32:00] read all of the things because it can be something really small that people put in there.

You know, that kind of somebody opening a door to you. There's something where you go, oh, that's really nice, and it's a fleeting thought, but it's something that makes you feel positive about that day. Or it can be something more, more deep rooted. Like, I'm really grateful, I'm really thankful for my health.

I'm really thankful for my family, you know, for something that happened today, and it can be, I'm thankful that I managed to declutter to my kitchen today, whatever that is. It's about looking at the positive in the day because there's so many things that stand in our way sometimes of that positivity, and we can be focused on the negative.

So I think, you know, really to sort of conclude, I think that we're both saying the same things, which is, Positivity, gratitude, kindness. You know, focusing on what you can do rather, rather than what you can't do is what's gonna lead to these habits, isn't it? 

Yeah, absolutely. 

Ros: Yeah. I think I think increasing self-awareness is also a, a really kind of important thing.

It's [00:33:00] like once you start down this process and you start changing your mindset and you bring the awareness to the forefront of, you know, the way you're speaking to yourself, you know, the way, kind of negativity is potentially getting in the way. You know bringing that to the, the forefront in your mind, you know, helps you to live more in the present and to, you know, enjoy the process that you're going through as well on a daily basis rather than worrying about where you've been or kind of, you know, worrying about, you know, why you are not where you want to be.

Lesley: Yeah, exactly. 

Ros: So yeah, that's something that is really important. 

Lesley: What I really liked about that Ros was, you know, cause it is important to look forwards in your journey as well, and that's the thing that's gonna motivate you forwards as well, to have that kind of big vision goal and so on.

But one of the ways that you've reframed it a little bit is to talk about the fact that don't focus on where you've not got to in your journey. Focus on the steps in the journey that, you know, the focus on the present and the progress rather than, ugh, I didn't make it quite yet. Don't think about failing to achieve those goals.

Think about how close you are [00:34:00] to achieving those goals and the steps that you're making. I absolutely love that.

Ros: I also think it's really important to celebrate the wins and successes along the way. You know, with the decluttering, but also with the, you know, the lifestyle change. I think, I think. Such an important factor.

And that ties in again with gratitude. It's celebrating what you're achieving and celebrating your progress. 

Lesley: Yep. Wins and progress are everything. And you talked a little bit there, Ros, about awareness and education.

So I wanted to talk about, you know, we talk about light bulb moments all the time. We love that when people, all of a sudden the awareness is there, it's so powerful, right? So what kind of awareness, what kind of light bulb moments, if you will then do your , typically your health coaching clients, what are the big ones where they go, geez, I've never actually thought about that in that way.

Ros: Well we call them aha moments in health coaching. But I think, I mean, it, it's when people kind of connect the dots, I think that's, those are the moments when they go, oh, right. So when I'm feeling that way, I do that behavior. But what I need [00:35:00] to do is to actually disconnect that connection.

So for instance, if you, you know, as we said earlier about, you know, you've had a bad day, you reach for a glass of wine or a bar of chocolate or whatever but it's finding strategies to then replace that kind of emotion. Connection with with the, you know, the, the emotion and the wine and actually replace it with something else.

You know, you could, you could kind of phone a friend or you could put on your favorite, you know, song and dance around the living room. You could put a Rock Choir tune on and have a sing. You know, you could do all of these different things. You could have a replacement snack that is your treat, that is, is a healthier version.

You know, so it's connection and self-awareness I think are the, are the most. Kind of rewarding things to see when I, when I'm working with people, it's lovely to see people making these connections. And also being kinder to themselves because we're so hard on ourselves. I've realized like and you know, self-care is not selfish.

That's kind of my number one [00:36:00] kind of. Tip, I think I would say to encourage people is, is that self-care is not selfish. Looking after yourself, you know, putting your own oxygen mask on first is, is so important because you can't really look after the people you love unless you're looking after yourself.

Lesley: I love that self-care is not selfish. That's definitely my line of this podcast that I'm gonna take away and think about a little bit more. So, Ros, tell us a little bit, so you are a health coach. Tell us, you know, what's the name of your company, how can you help people if anybody's interested in talking to you about that next step in their journey to wellbeing and health and nutrition and so on. Tell us a little bit about where people can find you. 

Ros: Okay, so my business is called Health Coaching with Ros. I have a website which will be on the show notes. I also have the Facebook page and Instagram, again, @healthcoachingwithros. So as a health coach I work with people over a period of time.

As we've discussed change takes time and it's really tailored to the individual. You know, I'm there for support, encouragement you know, [00:37:00] education all those aspects and to help support somebody, you know, with mindset change as well. And it's, it's really down to what that person needs.

I do offer a free 15 minute discovery call. If anybody would like to, to find out whether the health coaching is, is what they would like to embark on. But yeah, really it's, it's, it's accountability, it's support, it's encouragement, it's really a kind of a personal relationship with somebody to kind of really get to know their history and, you know, what their vision for their life is and help them to, you know, become unstuck and do that rewiring and move them forward.

Lesley: Thank you so much, Ros. Well, I can highly recommend Ros because she is a, a calming influence in all of our lives. And let's face it, Ingrid and I absolutely need that in the Declutter Hub. So tell us, what habit do you want to introduce into your life? How are you gonna ensure it forms part of your everyday life?

We would love to know, you can drop it into the comment. On the show notes, you can pop it in on our [00:38:00] Facebook group. If you've listened to us, we would love to know how you feel about the types of things that we've spoken about in today's podcast. Next week we are going to be talking about organizing small spaces. This is something that we talked about in our podcast with the lovely Laura back in December, and people absolutely loved it. So we're going a little bit deeper on organizing small spaces. So all that remains for me to say. Thank you so much to the lovely Ros Fielden for being our guest today, and we look forward to welcoming you back next week.

Bye for now.
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