A graphic of a person in a room feeling overwhelmed by all the clutter

Episode 242 – How to overcome decluttering roadblocks

It's fair to say undertaking a decluttering project is not always straightforward. Often there are roadblocks that appear and stop us in our tracks. In today's podcast we're going to talk about some of these roadblocks and how to overcome them.

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Transcript of this podcast episode

[00:00:00] Ingrid: It's fair to say that undertaking a decluttering project is not always straightforward. Often there are roadblocks that appear and stop us in our tracks. In today's podcast, we're going to talk about some of these roadblocks and how to overcome them. 

You are listening to the Declutter Hub podcast, bringing you tried and tested no nonsense tips and advice from the lead in experts in decluttering and organising your home. Now, here are your hosts, Ingrid, Jansen, and Lesley Spellman.

Hello and welcome listeners. I'm Ingrid. And I'm Leslie. If you're new to the Declutter Hub podcast, you are so welcome. What you'll find here is reality, empathy, and advised by the bucket load. And if you've been here for a while, thanks so much for listening. If you'd like the added bonus of watching us, as well as listening, you might want to find our podcast on our YouTube channel.

Search for the Declutter Hub, and you can see us chat each and every week. Don't forget to subscribe to our channel so it pops into your notifications each Friday too.

[00:01:22] Lesley: So Ingrid, it's always interesting, isn't it, when we, because what we do it with our podcast is we put ideas together and we write on a list.

We go, that'd be a great idea for podcasts. And then we kind of leave it, and then we come back to it a couple months later. So we had this thing that said roadblocks in our, um, ideas list, didn't we? And so Ingrid's like, yeah, but okay, so now it's time. We need to do a podcast on Roblox. I'm like, right, okay. So I kind of started to prepare things, threw some ideas out at Ingrid, and she was like, oh.

That's not really, what do you mean? That's not really what I was thinking. And yeah, see that's a roadblock, but it's not really where my mind was going. So basically, What we wanted to say is, doing a decluttering project is not easy and there are tons of roadblocks that might stand in your way, but the ones that we are going to talk about today, imagine the scene.

You are about to embark on a decluttering project. The stars are aligned, everything's ready. You're like, I am going to absolutely nail this decluttering project today. You've got the right attitude, you've got the right ideas, you set to, and then things happen during the day that stop you in your tracks.

And so we're going to delve into those things and we're going to start off with some more practical ones, aren't we, Ingrid? So things that stop you in your tracks. The first one we wanted to talk about was interruptions. Ingrid. 

[00:02:37] Ingrid: Yes. You're, you're in, you're right in the middle of doing something. And then the doorbell rings.

You've just kind of got everything ready. Doorbell rings, and it's me. It might, it might be the postman, it might be a package delivery, or it might be a neighbor knocking on your door going, Hey, can I borrow something? Or have you heard about her other neighbor who ended up in the hospital? Or did you see that, uh, the bins this morning and it was a nightmare?

Or, you know what I mean? It can be everything. And before you know it, you're chatting away to your neighbor for 20 minutes and you're like, what was I doing? Oh, yeah, I was decluttering. It can also be something different like your phone's ringing and somebody's ringing you with a problem, or somebody just wants to chat to you because they're having a bad day and you thought, oh, I need to really need to pick up the phone.

20 minutes, half an hour or an hour. If you've got a friend who loves to talk or you love to talk yourself, maybe 

[00:03:37] Lesley: Are you talking about yourself Ingrid? Talking about yourself by any chance?

[00:03:43] Ingrid: I do. I mean, I don't call as much as I used to, but if I do get on the phone, I can be on there for a while. That is true. 

[00:03:51] Lesley: I think the problem is, and what this is all about, it's all about preparation. This is one of the things that we talk about quite a lot, isn't it? But we talk about the fact that if you are embarking on a decluttering project, you really need to think through what might happen.

There are certain things that you can avoid happening, so sometimes you can't avoid people knocking at the door, but sometimes you can. So if it's somebody that typically knocks on your door and that's something that happens with regularity, you can try and say to that person, do you know what? On Tuesday this week, I'm going to be busy all day cause I'm doing something and it's best that I don't get disturbed.

So do you mind calling on Wednesday for example? The problem is that we always often put other people's needs before our own, and that's the problem. We go, oh, this person, even though it's really annoying that they've knocked on the door and that they, this neighbor is talking about this, that, and the other happening. A, we might go, oh, this is a great reason for me not doing any decluttering, which is not a good thing either.

Or B, we might think that person's needs are greater than our own. Either way, it's going to culminate in us. Not getting the job done, getting distracted and getting taken, getting taken off the track that we were on. Because it involves a lot of physical energy, doesn't it? And emotional energy to declutter.

And we need to kind of remain focused. Yeah. Yeah. This is all about taking our focus away. Yeah. Now something else that we wanted to talk about Ingrid was having the right equipment. So you set to, you get started, and you find that there is something missing from your decluttering project that you need to make progress that you've not got.

[00:05:17] Ingrid: Yes. Because of course you want to declutter. So you kind of think to yourself, oh, I need to have some bin bags and I wanna get my Hoover ready, and I. Might need to have a cloth to wipe something when I've emptied a shelf or a cupboard and you're all setting out, getting, grabbing all of these things and then you suddenly realise, oh, I could have really done with a couple of more extra bin bags or, or a couple of those boxes that I have would've been really nice.

Or you set out to do a, some paperwork decluttering and organised again, you realise, oh, all of my hanging files are actually full at the moment. I, oh yeah, now I remember I should have ordered them or, Gosh, all of my hangers are actually falling apart. It's a bit messy. I was, I thought about a couple of weeks ago to order some hangers and I forgot, or, ah, I'm finally going to use my label maker.

Oh, the batteries have have died and I don't have any spare batteries, or I forgot to order the labels for the label maker. All of these kinds of things that you had planned to do can really stop you because you're missing some crucial equipment. 

[00:06:27] Lesley: Exactly stops you in your tracks, doesn't it? Yeah. And then you kinda think, oh, can't really do that.

And then you just lose momentum. Yeah. All of these things just are there to center. Try, you know, you don't, if you're not one. Somebody who loves decluttering. It doesn't take much to take you and go, oh, I'll just going to have a cup of tea and sit down, have a nice time instead. I don't have to do that decluttering.

I'll be better to do it when I have got all those things, when my labels. And so you need everything aligned. Really, something has not as fallen out of alignment and it gives you an excuse not to continue, and that's the kind of thing that we're trying to avoid. And that's why, again, preparation is going to be absolutely key.

So the preparation in terms of telling people that you're kind of not available or scheduling time in your diary or, and, and getting the right equipment is important and all those kind of things as well. Now, another thing that kind of takes us off track quite often is physical and mental health. You know, sometimes the body is willing and the mind is not.

Sometimes the mind is willing and the body is not. We, uh, many of us have physical and mental health issues that we need to factor into our lives, but sometimes, It is not always as we might expect, particularly when we're doing something that is testing us. This is the thing, a decluttering project for many people is testing us.

It's taking us outside of our comfort sone. It's stopping us from doing what we normally do. And it can be a physically exhausting. So if you've got something like, uh, me, fibromyalgia, many, many other things in a similar way that sap our energy levels, it doesn't take long before we might think, do you know what?

I'm absolutely wiped out. And you are better at that stage to start rather, to, rather than to continue. But you might have thought that you've got a, a good couple of hours in you and then you feel exhausted after half an hour. So things like that are really sent to try us and take us off our tracks and of course, mental health.

We need to think about medication. What's the best time? Um, you know, is this too testing for us? Is it bringing up memories and things like that that are really difficult for us for, so physical and mental health can be a real roadblock when it comes to a decluttering project, can't they? 

[00:08:35] Ingrid: Yeah, I think so. Absolutely. Because we might wake up in the morning with the best intentions thinking, okay, today is the day, and then, Mid-project, we kind of suddenly start to feel, Ooh, I don't have as much energy as I thought I was going to have, or, Ooh, um, I just, I'm, I'm just not feeling so well today. I'm not feeling as well as I'd hoped I was going to feel.

Or sometimes we can be really hard on ourselves and go, but yesterday I was feeling the same way and I was fine, but we overdid it the day before and we think we can do that again. And we are more wiped out than we think. So, then it, it's really hard to, to keep going and, and to kind of realise I've got to stop.

I've, I've, I've spent everything that I can at the moment. I'm going to have to take a break. 

[00:09:24] Lesley: I think we talk quite a lot, Ingrid, don't we? About two things. So we talk about preparation and planning, we talk about goal setting, all of those kind of things. We talk about breaking things down into small, manageable chunks.

Really, really important. But I think we also talk about realism, and I think realism is so key in that planning and preparation part of the process. You know, you need to be realistic about what your body and your mind typically allows you to do and remember back. To the last time. Cause what happens is we, we get into a decluttering pro and then we go, oh yeah, I remember last time it didn't go that well either.

And that was exhausted after half an hour. And so we really need to, uh, you know, kind of look at that realism and make sure that we are being honest with ourselves about our capabilities. That's really important. And of course, do the preparation. So preparation, planning and realism are absolutely critical when it comes to a decla team project to make sure that.

Unfortunate, unnecessary and unwanted roadblocks don't stand in our way of our fantastic decluttering project. Yes. 

[00:10:28] Ingrid: Well, we have got some more roadblocks that we want to talk to you about, so let's go for a break and we'll see you after.



[00:10:41] Ingrid: Hello everybody. Welcome back. Before the break, we talked about interruptions, having a good preparation, and of course, physical and mental health that can stand in your way when you're trying to declutter. So let's continue with some other roadblocks that we've identified, Lesley. 

[00:11:00] Lesley: Do you know what I'm going to say?

This might be a little bit contentious, but one of the biggest roadblocks that we face when it comes to a decluttering project is other people 

They can be, yeah, not always, but they can be, wouldn't life be easy if we didn't have to deal with other people. Do you know what I mean? So it's not just in a decluttering world, they can be quite annoying and they can really set you off your tracks, can't you?

And so I'm talking about. People that are not necessarily supportive. So if we've, if we've suffered for a lot of our life with clutter, We feel a lot of guilt. We feel a lot of shame. People have got their own preconceived ideas about what we're like and how a decluttering project is going to unfold. This is the reason why we as Declutter, honestly, and this happens all the time, the other.

Part of the, how other people in the household don't necessarily know that we are going to help a client. Um, quite often people will buy into our membership and not necessarily tell their partner, their partners that that's what they've done, because they don't want to answer to it. They want to go on this journey without the criticism that comes from other people.

Yeah. So I think that. Now, sometimes there's a flip side to that, and other people can be massively supportive as well. But when we're talking about roadblocks, I think that other people really, we think that we're doing a great job, don't we? And we're so pleased with it. And then somebody comes and says, one negative thing, and it completely sets you back.

[00:12:28] Ingrid: Yeah. And it can be even in a remark that they even haven't meant that way, but it just comes in with you like a really, really harsh, or you've missed the intonation of how somebody says, or somebody just makes almost like a flippant joke. But for you it's like a knife in the heart almost, and it can really hurt. It can be really hurt. And then the other person might, sometimes they do realise it because they know themselves, they're being negative. But other people sometimes don't even realise that they've actually really hurt your feelings by trying to be funny or doing a funny joke or something like that.

Oh, oh, you're messy house and you, when it's, when you're really oversensitive yourself about it, it can really, you know. Cut to the core of, of that guilt and that embarrassment and, and, and, and really stop you. And then it takes up a lot of mental capacity to muster yourself. How do you call that? To kind of pull yourself together and kind of go, yeah.

Okay. I'm, I'm going to let that comment, I'm going to take it to the side. I'm not going to worry about it, but that, that, that is a lot of brain power you need. I know, and 

[00:13:42] Lesley: I think it's something that we've seen. It's so damaging, Ingrid and it's something that really sits with people sometimes for years. So little snide comments that people make really do cut quite deep.

And I think one of the things that we talk about all the time, when people are embarking on a decluttering journey and are completely committed, is that it's, it is good and you only, you know the relationships that you've got with people and how easy it would be for you to have these conversations.

But sometimes you need to explain to people, look, I know that I've not necessarily been that successful at doing decluttering in the past, but I feel that I've got all the tools that I need, you know, from the membership, from the podcast, from, you know, or getting a professional organiser or whatever that is.

And now I feel quite committed to it. It, you know, we'll, we will see what happens, but what I'd like you to do is to support me in this. I don't expect you to do anything at this moment in time, but I don't, I want you to be supportive, mentally supportive to me. Yeah. While I'm going through this process and so sometimes, but the problem is that I.

The shame and embarrassment that we feel mean that we don't want to go there and talk about the fact that we have had these problems in the past and that we've sought additional help to fix them. It's a kind of strange scenario, isn't it, that we, we almost keep these feelings to ourselves and allow people to.

To make us feel bad about things, which is very negative and very damaging. So if there was one thing that really sends people into a tizz and off the tracks, the main thing I think would be other people. Yeah. Was that your experience as well? 

[00:15:16] Ingrid: Yeah, and I think as well, what you see is what, what happens is while you're decluttering something, it might be, you might be triggered by a letter that you find from another person or an item that this friend that made a really horrible comment has said to you, and when you find an item, you know it can, so when you're decluttering, it might be something suddenly that triggers that memory and you're like, oh wow. And then kind of down tools and it's like, I need a cup of tea first. You know what I mean? So it can really have a massive impact. 

[00:15:50] Lesley: Yeah. And just talking some more about, um, other people as well. Just jumping back to when we were talking about interruptions before, I think we need to get out of the habit of prioritising other people. Yeah. Above ourselves. And so sometimes of course we need to do that. Um, but there are times when we just do that because that's what we used to doing and sometimes we need to be a little bit selfish and go.

It's important to me that I get this job done and I know this person might need something, but that will wait. And so for today, I'm the priority. So there's different things that come into play. Human beings and human interactions a difficult thing. And it's one that we get asked about a lot, don't we? We get asked about partners and partners coming on board and partners not being supportive or kids or parents.

You know, there's a lot of things that come from our parents being judgmental of us. You know, we. We've got issues because our parents didn't teach us they've got issues cause we're not good enough and don't fall into their expectation of what that is. They're looking at the way that we keep house and things are different now because they were, you know, stayed at home all the time.

And we've got three kids and a full-time job. And there are so many things and so many judgements. The bottom line is human beings can be quite judgmental and, and, and that is very damaging to people. Yeah. So be aware of that. And think about what you can do to remedy that. You know, can you have those open and honest conversations to just say, I don't expect it to go overboard, but just back off a little bit and let me be me and let me try.

That's the important thing. I think people already sort of sense that you failed before you've even started. Mm-hmm. You know, and, and I think, you know, Ingrid and I have very much every attempt at something is one little step forward I'd. We would rather that you tried and inverted commas failed and didn't get to where you wanted to be, than not try at all.

That's the most important thing. While you're still trying, you're still making that positive progress forward and still learning. So don't let other people get you down because it's a really big deal, isn't it, Ingrid? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So I could get on my high horse. I feel myself getting kind of run to because we've seen the damage that it does to people and this sticks for years and years and years.

Yeah, yeah. You know, people talk about it in our forum. Such a body said this to me back in 1990 something. Yeah. And I'm still thinking about it today. And that really upset me. You know, we talk about things, you know, we ask about those kind of things, don't we? In the forum? Like what sort of things have set you back from your Declutter and it and it's always people 

[00:18:09] Ingrid: always, isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Lesley. Alright, let's, let's move on down now. 

[00:18:15] Lesley: We'll calm down. We're getting, we're getting ranty. 

[00:18:19] Ingrid: Well. I wanted to talk a little bit about curve balls that get thrown our way while we're in the midst of our little decluttering project. And then the phone rings and somebody rings and says, your child's not feeling well.

Can you come pick him up from school? Or, you know, they've just thrown up all over themselves. Yeah. They need to go home now. And you're like, oh. And you have to kind of 

[00:18:43] Lesley: Someone's just having the breakfast listening to this podcast, and you'll talk about a child throwing up on themselves. You could have picked another example?

[00:18:50] Ingrid: It happened. Oh, you know, or somebody can call like, oh, you know, Your dad's had a fall or can you help out your neighbor? She's locked herself out of the house and now can't get into her house and she needs to have a locksmith neighbors again. You know, I mean, we have to all help each other, obviously. But you were like finally happily puttering away with your little de project and it's like, when, when can I just do something undisturbed for once without something happening? 

[00:19:21] Lesley: Yeah, exactly. And some people feel that more than others. Some people it seems to be one long kind of Yeah. A catalog of curve balls, doesn't it? Yeah. And I suppose there are some curve balls that happen that are going to take us off track for a couple of hours and there are some curve balls that get thrown our way that are going to take us off track completely.

Yeah. For a long, long time. And not, and, and mean that decluttering completely goes off the agenda. And so curve balls not to be, you know, they are very damaging, would that be the word that you would do? Not damaging? Disruptive, I think probably would be about disruptive. Yeah. Curve balls. But we need to accept, I guess, within our decluttering journey that life gets in the way.

So life is not plain sailing. Mm-hmm. And these things are going to be sent to try us, but we need to pick ourselves up if possible. Not always possible, but if we can, then, if it's sensible to do so, pick ourselves up and go. I'm not going to let that little curve ball put me off and not come back to it for three or four weeks.

Yeah. Get back in the saddle and start going again. That's the important thing. And that's the learning from a curve ball like that, isn't 

[00:20:24] Ingrid: it? Yeah, I think so. I think it, it's it, it sometimes can be, you know, uh, Used as a bit of an excuse kind of Lesley, well, this and this happened, and, but then if you've got one thing after another, you're, you're going to have to at some point go, right, okay, I, I'm going to do this.

This is my priority and we can't have all these curve balls. Take us off track all the time, you know, because it, it sometimes, you know, it's like, oh, well, uh, just today I was just not up for it. Well, come on. You know, we have to come, we have to, if we wanna move forward and if we want to have less curve balls and less chaos and less thing, we are going to have to do a bit of decluttering and organising. But that will help you not there and then in the moment. But slowly but truly in the long run, you're going to have less panicky situations, that you've lost your stuff or you need to have, find something you can't find it.

And all of those things will happen less. Because you're more organised and it almost seems like there's always, always then less curve balls for some reason, because you're not in a complete state of panic all the 

[00:21:31] Lesley: time. Yeah. I think that's so, I think there's probably not less curve balls particularly, but I think it's your ability to cope with those curve balls in the context of the life that you lead.

And so sometimes if you're living in complete chaos, it just feels like another chaotic thing. Yeah. Whereas if your life is fairly orderly, It's just a curve ball that happened and then I'll pick myself up and I'll carry on tomorrow. So, but you're right, it's all wrapped up together. You know, people's whose lives are quite chaotic.

It just feels like another overwhelming thing to have happened. Yeah. And so by eeking towards a life that is less chaotic and more organised, it's going to help us in the long run to deal better with the couples that life inevitably throws our way. Which it does all the time. All the time. Yeah. And I think it's about, You know, we talked to, um, before the break a little bit about realism, didn't we?

And, and Ingrid talked a little bit about excuses as well. And you know, everyone, you know, we are not here to say or stop making excuses, but we see people making excuses is the reality. And sometimes there does need to be a reality check, which is, are you be realistic? Are you allowing that little curve ball?

To kind of stay with you a little bit longer than perhaps it ought and actually mean. Yeah, sounds what feel I sound bad saying, saying it, but, but we do see excuses quite a lot and sometimes you need to give yourself a little bit of a kick up the backside and go, no, I'm leaving that as an excuse and I need to crack on and get on with this.

Cause that's not an excuse anymore and it's time to take action. So I think there's that. So I think there's loads of things. So curve balls of course, are terrible things. We need to, you know, deal with them if we can, you know, if they're not curve balls that are long lasting, but we need to understand when we're allowing that curve ball to become an excuse.

Yeah. Um, for inaction, I think. 

[00:23:17] Ingrid: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well said Lesley. I was like, I, I wanna say that to listeners, but it's like, how, and 

[00:23:23] Lesley: I could see, I could see on her face, I was like, she's, she wants to go there and tell people off, doesn't she? But she's not doing it. I said, when she leaves it for me to say because you kind of went down that rabbit hole. I'm like, I wish you got quite got there. Thank you for that Ingrid. 

[00:23:37] Ingrid: I know because we have to pull ourselves. 

[00:23:39] Lesley: Ingrid wants to be, everyone always says, you know, it's good cop, bad cop. And course Ingrid wants to stay in the good cop, uh, realm all the time, doesn't she? So I have to be the bad cop. 

[00:23:49] Ingrid: Thank you so much.

This is true. I think. 

[00:23:52] Lesley: Oh, you thing. What do you mean? Like everybody 

[00:23:53] Ingrid: knows it Well, I think the thing is, Lesley, because I'm Dutch and I'm so direct, I'm always a little bit afraid that I say something and like half our listeners will never listen in again because I said something that is, 

[00:24:06] Lesley: she said everything that she thinks about, we would not have a podcast that anyone was listening to. Let me tell you. Anyway, we digress. I'm going to try and be nice now. I'm going to try and be good cop again. Ingrid. Yeah, and so, and I think that it's, We wanted to sort of finish out this podcast talking about things that happen along the way during your decluttering, which are completely understandable things that are going to take you off track.

Yeah. And you need to recognise them, and you need to understand that that's part of the process. Yeah. So we're talking about you are going through something and all of a sudden some item comes up that you weren't expecting in a box at you on Earth that brings up negative, sad, overwhelming feelings.

Feelings of grief. Things happen in life, don't they? That are sad, that are awful, that are nasty. And sometimes we're not quite ready to unearth those when we're just, you know, kind of innocently going through a box. And then we're like, I was not expecting to find that letter or that item that takes me back to a place that I don't wanna be so triggering items.

And I think we have to accept that they're part of the process, but we have to give ourselves time to reflect on that before we move on. If you see something like that, you've got two choices. You can see it, you will know that it will become very triggering. You can put it to one side and you can move on, or you can spend the time there and then to try and process those feelings before you move on.

Yeah. So it's really important to recognise and to take quick action or to stop and give yourself a little bit of a breather. 

[00:25:34] Ingrid: Yeah. Yeah. And you know what it, Lesley, it's, it's, it can be items from people who are alive. You know, of, of very traumatic periods in your life of things that have happened. Uh, like a letter or something like that, or an item.

It can be items of people who've passed away that suddenly they just hit you, you know, it's like, oh, wow. And, and this whole emotion comes through. But it can also be, you know, items that you find from pets that are maybe are no longer with us. I mean, pets are lots of times part of a family, and when you've kept.

Something from your pets, whatever it is, and you suddenly find it, it kind of immediately can take you back and it can make you really, really sad. So be prepared that not everything you are going to find while you're decluttering and organising is going to be fun and easy. And it can also really trigger emotions that you thought you might have dealt with.

Yeah, and they absolutely stop you in your tracks, and you're like, why am I now all out of sorts about this? Why am I crying? Why am upset? Why am I angry? Why am I. Just overcome with sadness. 

[00:26:44] Lesley: Yeah, exactly. I think it's interesting, the whole letter thing and you know, so obviously if you wanted to keep things simple, people would say, and we would also say never keep anything in your life that's going to give you negative feelings.

That's the over overarching I. Kind of viewpoint we would like, you know, if it's negative, you don't really need it in your life. But there's something in us if we have been dealt an injustice or something that we believe is being injustice, or somebody's done something really horrible to us or written as a really horrible letter, we feel so upset by that, that we almost keep the letter cus we are quite disbelieving and we almost keep it to prove.

Yeah. To that that thing happened. Yeah. And that it's almost like other people, it's almost like you, you kind of want to say to other people, but this thing happened to me. Somebody was so mean to me that they said these things to me. So you almost want to keep the proof, even though you know that it's negative.

Yeah. And so it's a really interesting concept, isn't it, Ingrid? And so I get that thing that you just feel as if you want to justify. How you felt so let down by somebody. Yeah. And so you keep the proof, but when you find the proof, it's really Yeah. Negative. Yeah. Yeah. And so we shouldn't have it in our lives, but I get why people do.

Yeah. And so if possible, get rid of anything negative, but I understand. If you're not ready to. 

[00:28:04] Ingrid: Yeah. Yeah. And like we said, it can be a really big roadblock when you're decluttering, when you come across an item like that that you weren't expecting or is not in the place you thought it was going to be, and the cupboard that you were going to do, it felt like a safe cupboard to do.

And suddenly you get confronted with something. It's like, oh, wow. I, I, and, but the thing is, like Lesley said, either take a break and go, okay, I need to step back from this item or go, this is a really hard item. I'm going to put it to the side and I might put it, it's probably, a lot of times it's probably a sentimental item.

Most I, I would say, and I. Put it in a sentimental box to deal with later and go, right, that is just not for me for this moment. I'm going to put it to this site and I'm going to revisit that when I'm doing much my sentimental items much, much later in my decluttering journey. Now I'm going to keep focused on this cupboard or wardrobe or shelf that I was doing.

So yes, 

[00:29:06] Lesley: I think, you know, I think it's Ingrid. It is interesting Ingrid because. You know, we're all about the positive really, generally, aren't we in making positive steps forward? And this, this might appear to be quite a negative podcast because we're talking about all the things that stop us in our tracks.

But I think hopefully we, by understanding what things are, the, the, the ones that we talked about before the break are definitely things that are within your control. Mm-hmm. You can prepare, you can get the right equipment, you can think about, maybe not quite so much with mental health cause that's, Don't really have that much control over it due to a large extent in terms of understanding what that looks like and how that might feel and what might happen.

But I think preparation is a big one. So there are some things that are in your control and so you can do something about them. And there are some things that are out of your control. So you can't control finding a letter from somebody. You can't control a nasty comment from someone. You can't control, you know, getting a phone call to say that your mom's had a fall and that you need to go and deal with that.

Um, but I think it's understanding that these are very much a part of the decluttering process. Uh, that curve balls, that roadblocks, whatever you might want to call them, do our part of going through your things and trying to work it out. Because decluttering is a lifetime journey, unfortunately, everyone's like, really it is.

And so I think it's, it's important to understand the process and what might stop you in your tracks cus then you feel you are better equipped to, to go forward and think that's okay and you just compartmentalise it and go. That was yesterday, and then I'm going to move on and I'm going to make, hopefully that's not going to happen soon.

I'm going to move forward with positivity. Yeah. And that's what today's podcast was all about. Yeah. 

[00:30:41] Ingrid: I'm wondering if any of our listeners want to share their roadblocks with us. So if you're thinking to yourself, yes, I've had a, a, a roadblock that less Ingrid have described, or I've got something else that could be a really good example, please let us know.

We'd love to hear from you. You can leave a comment in our podcast, if you go to declutterhub.com/242, you can leave some comments. I'm, I will be intrigued to read, um, what people consider roadblocks in their decluttering journey. How about you, Lesley? 

[00:31:12] Lesley: Yeah. And are you not going to add something else into that Ingrid and say, um, did you use that as an excuse? Oh, you write that. You can write that on the Facebook group. How many excuses have you made when a roadblock has come your way? Um, signed off Ingrid Jansen, the bad cop. 

[00:31:28] Ingrid: Bad Cop Ingrid. Well, what I'm going to do is going to go, haha, I'm going to tell everybody what next week's podcast is, Lesley, because it's a bit of a lighter nature next week, which is probably a good idea after, after this podcast, which was probably a quite a hard one to listen to.

So we are going to talk about that 10 things. To Declutter from your utility room. So thanks for being here. We appreciate you and we hope to see you again next week.

Thanks so much for listening to the Declutter Hub podcast. Don't forget to subscribe to us in your podcast player so you don't miss an episode, and we'll see you next week.

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Looking for more advice on overcoming roadblocks when decluttering? Check out this blog...

CURB YOUR CLUTTER ONE DECISION AT A TIME

We’ve all been there.

We tackled a room that was packed with clutter that we didn’t need. We have no clue where all that stuff came from in the first place. But now, it’s all sorted, the things we no longer want have been donated and we are feeling the calm instead of the chaos. Perfect!

Fast forward a couple of months and we are back to square one. How on earth did that happen? Stuff has started to creep back into our home and we feel out of control and surrounded by chaos and clutter once again.

Decluttering can be a life changing process, and it’s so important to tackle the ‘stuff’ but it's important that we start to shift our mindset too.

When we focus on our mindset, slowly but surely, we will stop bringing things into our homes that we don't need.

The first step in shifting that mindset is looking at our shopping behaviours. When we shop, we are often at the mercy of clever marketeers and sales assistants. Control is taken away from us and we bow to sales pressure. And then we start to bring things into our homes that we don’t need and the clutter starts to build. It sounds simple but when and how can we avoid self sabotage?

Beware the bargain

Who doesn’t love a bargain? Car boot sales, garage sales, yard sales and charity shops can be a minefield if you love the thrill of a sale. Just because it’s a bargain doesn’t mean you need it. Intentional shopping often goes right out of the window when temptation is in your way. If you are on a decluttering mission, bargain hunting is one to avoid.

Unsubscribe (again and again)

You may tend to overinflate the value of what you have, thinking it’s worth more to you than it actually is. You’re reluctant to let go of things because they ‘might come in handy one day’ or they’re ‘perfectly good’. Scarcity thinking comes from us unconsciously repeating a story about lack that we’ve learned sometime in our life. This can be either from our own experience or our family’s experiences.

Don’t cave in to upselling

If you are shopping and offered free gifts when you buy extra things, be careful. Sample sizes and free gifts are never really needed and can really add to the clutter.

Avoid fixating on freebies

How many times have you picked up free sauces, salt, straws and napkins from takeaways and fast food chains? More often than not they stay sitting on your cupboard months or years later. Do yourself a favour and leave them behind.

Refuse the hanger

Unless you have a huge shortage of clothes hangers at home, don’t take the hanger when offered it in a shop. Extra hangers gather at the edges of wardrobes or in ironing baskets adding to the clutter.

Shop with intent

Craft markets, farmers’ markets and trade shows are even more tricky to navigate your way through than standard shops as they are chocked full of exciting items. It’s hard to avoid them as they are such fun but be mindful and intentional when browsing otherwise you may end up with lots of things you don’t need.

Control your guilt

Parties that your friends host like candle parties, makeup parties etc bring with them an inner guilt that we need to buy something. Another tough one to navigate through, but beware the guilt you feel making you buy things you will never use.

These little temptations stand in our way every time we enter a shop or jump online and they lead to sabotage. We work so hard on decluttering projects that self-sabotage is just not welcome. Be mindful, be aware, be strong and that way you will keep that clutter-free home intact.

This article was first published on Psychreg on 12 October 2020 https://www.psychreg.org/curb-your-clutter/

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Episode 260 – How to get things done with a list

Episode 259 – 10 Organising products worth investing in

Episode 258 – The transition from young adult to home-maker with guest Penny Moyses

Episode 257 – Dealing with friends and family on your decluttering journey

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Ann says:

22 May 2023 at 4:36 AM

I lost my Mother in October 2020 at 87 having looked after her 24/7 for four years.
I have only just recently been able to start and sort her clothes. It is so hard, though. Remembering where she wore them. All of her jewellery and her shoes.
The photographs are going into a box to sort one day on their own.
It seems an enormous task that I can only do slowly.
There is also a lot of her parents stuff too, plus my Father and his parents. A very daunting task.
It has been left to me being the only offspring.
I really do appreciate your podcast, your advice and insight into the many facets of decluttering. Love from Ann in England.

Reply
1. Ingrid Jansen says:
  
  23 May 2023 at 12:14 PM
  
  We’re so sorry to hear about your loss Ann, and it was right in the middle of Covid as well, which must have been so hard for you.
  
  You must take your time to sort through these items, but really remember to go for quality over quantity, so the object you keep can shine.
  
  Take care of yourself and thank you for sharing,
  Ingrid
  
  Reply

Episode 242 – How to overcome decluttering roadblocks

CURB YOUR CLUTTER ONE DECISION AT A TIME

Beware the bargain

Unsubscribe (again and again)

Don’t cave in to upselling

Avoid fixating on freebies

Refuse the hanger

Shop with intent

Control your guilt

Episode 260 – How to get things done with a list

Episode 259 – 10 Organising products worth investing in

Episode 258 – The transition from young adult to home-maker with guest Penny Moyses

Episode 257 – Dealing with friends and family on your decluttering journey

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