A graphic of a woman sitting at a desk feeling overwhelmed
Episode 329 – 10 ways to avoid overwhelm when decluttering

If there is one word that is mentioned more than any other when it comes to decluttering it is overwhelm. If you feel overwhelmed the chances are you’ll down tools. In today's podcast we’re going to discuss 10 ways you can avoid the overwhelm that inevitably forms part of the decluttering process.
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Transcript of this podcast episode
00:00
If there is one word that is mentioned more than any other when it comes to decluttering, it is overwhelm. If you feel overwhelmed, the chances are yield down tools. In today's podcast, we're going to discuss 10 ways you can avoid the overwhelm that inevitably forms part of the decluttering process.

00:30
You're listening to the declutter hug podcast, bringing you tried and tested no nonsense tips and advice from the leading experts decluttering and organizing your home. Now here's your host, Ingrid Jansen,

00:52
hello and welcome listeners. I'm Ingrid. If you're new to the declutter hub podcast, you're so welcome. What you'll find is that we try and find the fun factor in the serious business of the cluttering. And if you've been here for a while, you know exactly what we mean. So thank you so much for listening. If you'd like to get involved in conversations related to this podcast, it all takes place in our free Facebook group. So come and join our lovely, warm and supportive community. Go to declutter hub.com, forward slash group to find out more. Well, Lesley, I'm excited. It's a 10 things podcast. Well, it's a 10 ways podcast, but in my head, it's a 10 things podcast, which I love, and I know you do too Absolutely. And so we were thinking about, you know, because it's sort of sort of still fairly on and fairly early on in the new year. And we were like, what sort of 10 things can we come up with that kind of inspire people to take action? So we decided to tackle overwhelm, because that's something that really stops people in their tracks when they're decluttering and makes people give up. And so we just wanted to give some very basic tips to try and set yourself off on the right track so you can avoid this overwhelmed taking over your process. So before we get cracking Ingrid, do you get overwhelmed? Yes, with

02:18
uh, sometimes with work, if I have a lot of tasks and I'm thinking, I don't know, I'm gonna get it all done. And then you kind of, sometimes you just then have a really good day, and you're like, I'm nailing it. I'm like, taking them all off the list. And every once in a while, you go, Oh, I just don't know. And then you kind of feel a bit flustered, and you're gonna let me get a coffee first, and kind of rethink my system and kind of go, how am I gonna do this today? So it kind of, I think it depends on how I got out of my bed this that morning, how I can tackle it exactly. I think we all, we all feel overwhelmed at some point. I think a lot of it, you know, with a lot of these things sometimes, you know, planning, preparing, thinking about things in a Certain Way is going to be the thing that sort of stops you from feeling that it's so important to be able to achieve what you set out to achieve. So you can feel inspired and motivated to continue onwards, and so that's kind of what we're aiming for. So first things, first is, I think you need to think about when your best time of day is. So I think a lot of people, you know, decluttering kind of gets slotted in. You know, we've got busy lives already. We've got full full diaries and schedules and work and kids and, you know, social activities and all of the fun stuff as well. And so sometimes decluttering is kind of a second thought, isn't it? And so we just kind of try and slot it in when we can. And I think it's really important not to just slot it in and to really think about when is going to be the best time for me to get the most out of this decluttering project that I'm doing. And so I think it's thinking about your energy levels. And so I've never really worked out, to be honest myself, when my Good time of day is,

04:06
and I'm not sure there really is one.

04:09
Oh, it's only bad. It's only bad time the

04:12
balance. What do you I mean? Do you think you've got a good time of day? Do you think you're better off like at seven o'clock in the morning, 10 o'clock in the morning, straight after lunch evening, what would what would you say? Yeah, I think I would definitely. I'm not a morning person at all. So if I can actually do my alarm just a little bit later in the morning, I'm much happier so, but I mean in the evening, I'm like, whoop Okay, all good. But the decluttering I normally don't do in the evening, because I know I need to have that rest moment as well in the day. So if I do decluttering, I kind of want to do that definitely after I've had food. I mean, before breakfast, nothing, absolutely nothing happens because I'm just I if I'm hungry, then nothing, then all.

05:00
Things fall down. So yeah, so after either after breakfast or after lunch, when I'm feeling like, Okay, I've got energy now to tackle this. Just on that note, ing, we're talking about not doing decluttering in the evening.

05:14
We've always made it a rule for the clutter fairy, which is my one to one business, where we go working with clients in people's homes, not to do evenings. So it's just not a thing that we do, because you need to be quite fresh as well, don't you, so you've already done a full day's work, or a full days of whatever it is that you do during the day, you don't want to be starting that in the evening. That doesn't mean to say that if you see something in the evening while you're going about your daily business, that you can't do some spontaneous decluttering. We talked, we had a podcast that went down really well actually, a few months ago, right? Yeah, it was all about spontaneous decluttering. But if we're talking about bigger projects, you know, two, three hours at a time, then I think it's really important to do those during the day when you're at your freshest. So to avoid the overwhelm, give yourself your best chance of doing it at a time when you know is best for you? Yeah, definitely. I think the energy levels is crucial. So think about that. When are you at your best and when is the best time for you? Which day of the week, which time of the day. I mean, if you could not do anything in the weekend, because you've always got other things to do, where during the week, are you going to fit it in or the other way around? Of course, you need to do your daily reset. Like Lesley said, you have to, you know, after dinner, tidy up, wash up, make short things out. And if you find a couple of bits that are in the wrong place, you can put them away. But a whole full scale, I'm going to do my wardrobe on a Tuesday evening. Probably is not the best decisions. You know, you can tidy up a few little bits here and there, but, you know, break it down. But, yeah, yeah, think about when you are at your best, when you can do this decluttering. Okay, so let's move on to number two, which is a tried and tested declutter hub, hint and tip that we bring out all of the time, because it really underpins everything that we teach, which is to break it down. So Ingrid's always already spoken about the fact that it's not a good idea to do your full wardrobe on a Tuesday evening or whatever. It may not be a good idea to do your full wardrobe at all. So what we need to do is we need to make sure we're breaking those bigger projects down into smaller chunks in case anything goes awry. So can we get a wardrobe done in a day? Of course, we can, if we want to, but what we want to make sure is, if something comes your way, a curve ball comes your way, you suddenly get exhausted, the phone goes and there's an emergency that you can still feel that you've achieved something. So by breaking it down, maybe into one section of a wardrobe at a time, or doing all your trousers, or if you're doing drawers, you know, one knicker drawer at a time, then you still, you will always feel like you're making that visible progress, you know. But if you said, I want to do my whole bedroom and didn't achieve it, then you'll feel demotivated. So it's, yeah, so you might get your whole wardrobe done, but in your head, you're thinking about that as 10 separate components, and if you get seven out of those 10, you're going to feel mightily accomplished. So that's what breaking it down is all about. Don't try and do these big, big projects. Break it right down. So, so important. So, yes, so break it down. Number two, let's go on to the green grid. Yes, you need to make a plan. I love a plan. A plan always feels better. And we don't even talk about like a plan that you have to meticulously write down with 25 lists. That's not what we're talking about here. Making a plan can be, you know, five bullets on a, on a, on a piece of paper, on a notebook, you know, but have a little bit of a plan. Yeah, I think it's important. You know, there's two different types of goal. You know, we've got that big picture goal, which we're always aiming towards. Like, why are we actually wanting to declutter? Is it to save money, to save time, less stress, to be able to do a renovation, to change the purpose of a room? Those are all big picture goals, and you're always working towards that. We need to have, like, a little mini plan. You know, we talked before on in point two about breaking it down. So what is your plan? What do you what are you aiming to tackle today? Really, really important to write those things down, to make a plan and to think about it. So many people just launch straight in, don't you Ingrid on it, without thinking about what you want to achieve, how you're going to achieve it, whether your energy levels are there for the day, and then ultimately, you don't achieve what you set out to do. You feel demotivated and you stop. You know, overwhelm kicks in because you've over thought about what you're going to do that day. You've like, I've just promised myself that I'm going to do too much, and I have failed, you will see it as a failure. We would see it as a mini bit of progress that's not quite to come to fruition, but ultimately, it's so important to make that plan so you can know, always know what you're working towards. We know about English was talking before, about to do lists. You know, somehow just getting that information that's in your head.

10:00
It written down is the first steps towards that plan and the first steps towards progress. So just writing it down, even if it's, you know, the musings, what? What do I think I'm going to find difficult with about today? What? You know, how long am I going to work? Am I going to do a couple of hours? You know? What do I hope to achieve in this session? What does success look like to me make that plan so so important, isn't Ingrid, yeah, absolutely. I think it can really help towards something that you want to achieve, and that you can kind of go, Ah, I'm really happy with myself today. I'm really proud, which I think then gives you that positive mindset to go on. And we're all about positivity here, aren't we? We always think about the things we have accomplished instead of all the things we haven't done yet. Because when you kind of build on those wins, it's really it propels you to move forward. Now the next one, Lesley, is really right above my street, of course, because, as loads of you know, I always love a bit of cleaning and tidying and that kind of thing. So when you are on a decluttering journey and you're doing a little particular project, have your cleaning items ready, because it will help you not feel overwhelmed. Because the thing is, if you're doing a little project and you then go, Oh, now, oh, the draw was really dirty, and I need to go and get my Hoover out, or my my little handheld Hoover, and, oh, I need some clothes, actually, and you haven't got all of that stuff ready. You have to walk out of the room while you're working, gather it all together. It might be buried under somewhere. You might not be able to realize that your Hoover bag is full. And you're like, Oh, it's another thing. And before you know it, half an hour is gone, and you were like, I literally just wanted to Hoover out this little drawer of crumbs so it's nice and fresh when I put this stuff back in. So that also it can be really helpful. When you're preparing for a decluttering project, get a few little bits together, you know, a bin bag, a box, your Hoover, a cloth, a couple of things, and boom, you're immediately like, I'm feeling prepared, so you're feeling less overwhelmed. I know it's it sounds a bit crazy, doesn't it, but it really helps. It really helps because, because the problem is, if you hadn't, it's about setting expectations for yourself, isn't it? English, so if you expect cleaning to be a part of that decluttering project, you're not, then disappointed and overwhelmed. And so because if you haven't factored that in, it starts to layer up. And so you thought you were doing this one project, and now you've got another project. And as you say, if something's gone wrong with your cleaning products, or you've not got what you need, you've got to go to the shop, or you've got empty Hoover bag or whatever, all of a sudden it comes another project, which is to go to the shops and sort that out. And so we don't want things layering up, really, on top of each other. That is what creates the overwhelm. So, really simple tip, but make sure you know even in advance while you're planning that decluttering project, whether you've got these, you know, these, you're all you the cleaning stuff that you going to need for the project to hand. Yeah, yeah. Very good. I love it. I love it right up my street. Uh, Lesley, let's do one more. I think this is a really important one, because I think when we think about clutter and are feeling overwhelmed, it's because we see our whole house as something that needs to be tackled, whether you're live there, you know, by yourself, or with partner kids, maybe your mom lives in your house, whatever it happens. But really important to kind of keep that overwhelm under control is focus on your own stuff and only make decisions about your own stuff. If you do that, it all starts to become a little bit easier, because if your mind takes you to everybody else's messes in the house, you feel like,

13:50
while you're going hold on, I'm just going to look at my socks today, or my books or my notebooks, or whatever it is. It doesn't matter what it is your own stuff, because those are the things that you can make decisions about. Because if it's other people's stuff you cannot declutter that they need to be involved in, that they need to make the decisions. But if you see, there's the whole heap of clutter as it all needs to be tackled. Oh, overwhelm hits. Instead of going, hold on a minute, I'm just gonna look at my stuff. And I feel that I can make decisions about it, because I am actually the person who owns this item, so I can make a decision about it so but because I think if we look at that a little bit deeper Ingrid, the problem is with trying to get yourself involved, taking yourself out of your own personal head space, which is, I need to deal with the emotion, my emotional connection to these things which you've spoken about and made decisions on those if, all of a sudden you have to factor in somebody else's then you've got their emotions related, you know, all connected, and you've got their relationship.

15:00
With you, you know. So if you've got a difficult you know, which it often is in many, many households where it's a difficult thing, you know, people are not looking at these two things. One person is more precious about things than the other person. One person is more less reluctant to do decluttering than the other person. And all of a sudden, you're taking that into the decluttering process as well. You're taking that, oh, this is going to be a difficult conversation. The note that you know I'm I'm going great guns here, and then they're going to stop me in my tracks. They might even try to undermine what I've done and say that I can't throw the things away that I want to throw, throw away. So you're going into an emotional headspace of other people, and that's the reason why it's important at this stage in your decluttering journey to really go down the route of going to look out for myself at this moment in time, and then later, further down the line, when the bulk of my stuff is done, then I can start to think about other people and how that's all going to work. Yeah, yeah. I think it's interesting. We had an email a couple of weeks ago when, I think it was one of our members who said, I cannot believe this is actually happening, but I'm now on, I'm in your membership, I'm on your road map. I'm doing the things. I'm on the second run of it. And actually, this time, my partner is coming on board. So she really stuck with her own journey, and now she's, I think the her partner kind of seen the changes in herself, in their house, in her room, in her everything, and he's not going, Oh, actually, here's a few bits that I'm happy now to let go of. And it's, it's starting to feel like more of a team effort. Well, for a long time, she was feeling like she was the only one doing this, but it was the right thing to do, because she's now grown so much in her own decluttering muscle and her own decision making, and it's not great to see other people come on board as well, but if you expect that from the get go, you're going to be disappointed and feel depressed about it and overwhelmed about it. Well, when you're on your own journey, you're only responsible for your own things. It can be an absolute game changer, absolutely.

17:09
Well, let's go for a break, and we'll talk some more after the break. Hi everyone, welcome back after the break and before the break, we talked about that you need to make only decisions about your own stuff. And our next one is kind of related to that, right? Lesley, yeah, I think it's really important to tread your own path. So we talked about, we talked briefly about, you know, not making decisions about other people's stuff. And we talked about the emotions and the relationship and things like that and difficulties that happen sometimes within family units. And this is the same thing. You know, tread your own path. Don't listen to the noise of other people, because it can be very, very distracting and overwhelming. So if all of a sudden, this is relationships, this is people, this is communication. This is always the most difficult part of a decluttering process. So we want to urge you to stay in your own you know, to tread your own pathway. You will do the learning here in the declut hub, listening to podcast and the membership, whatever that might be, and go this. It resonates with me. This is the way that I'm going to do it, because you will always get other people who are on a completely different trajectory with their decluttering. May not have a clutter problem, saying, just get rid of it. Why are you bothered about that kind of stuff? You know? Why you find it so difficult, you just seem to go through, I would have gone through my whole house in a weekend and got rid of it. You don't need that all of these kind of things. And it can just be noise which distracts you and detracts you from making the progress that you want to make. So Ignore the naysayers, which inevitably happen within a decluttering journey. You know, we talked about, you know, kids and family in your own house. So the stuff is different, but the negative kind of or the kind of passive, aggressive way that people speak to us sometimes about us, if they know we're on a decluttering journey, can be super distracting. But you know, you you know the progress that you're making. You know where you want to get to, you know, you've made a plan, you've broken it down, all of those things that we've spoken about, stay on your own path and don't worry about what everybody else thinks really, really important. Yes. Lesley, I completely agree. So let's move on to the next one, and that is, if you don't want to be overwhelmed, don't start with the most difficult room in your house. You need to start somewhere a bit simpler, a little bit easier, not so hard to do, because our minds take us to Okay. My whole house is chaotic, everywhere, and my blah, blah, blah, my spare bedroom is a tip, and there's loads of stuff in my attic that I need to look at, and my garage, I can't even park my car. And all our minds just go whirling in all these different directions. And what we're saying, start simple, start with looking at, I don't know, your toothbrushes in your bathroom.

20:00
Or look at your glasses in your kitchen, or look at some of the bedding in your linen cupboard, and just look at a few of these. Build up your nectar muscle. Start small, break it down, all of the things we talked about before. But also don't start in the worst or most difficult room, because you're just not ready yet. You need to give yourself time to go. Wow. Actually, I'm in a decluttering mindset now. I can do this. I'm feeling positive and be making good decisions, and then you build yourself up later on your journey to go. Now, I'm ready to kind of test some of the harder rooms. Honestly, though, Ingrid, that's fantastic advice, and it's probably one of the best pieces advice that we've got, which is, start small. Don't start with the most difficult room, because you just you do need to build up that decluttering muscle. As Ingrid said, I think one of the other key messages, and this is our number eight, is all about having an exit plan. So we're going great guns. We're decluttering stuff. It's all in bin bags. We've thought about it with cleaning as we go. We're doing a brilliant job. We got to the end, and we're like, amazing. Look at all these things that I've decluttered. I've done these bin bags. You know, we've counted the number of bin bags. Think it's fantastic. And then, more often than not, they just sit in the room, in the hallway, at the bottom of the stairs on the edge of the kitchen counter in the back of your car because we've not thought about sending it to its next destination, which is part of the decluttering process. To the decluttering process does not end with putting stuff into a bin bag. It ends when the stuff is out of your house. And so it's really important to when you're thinking about declutter a certain room in your house. Think about what the likely destinations are going to be for that stuff. You know is it. Can it all go to one charity shop, which is nice and simple? Do you want to split it across different charities? Do you want to put some stuff on a free cycle site? Do you want to sell some stuff? Do you want to return some stuff to the library, to the to your mother in law, all of those things. Where is this stuff going to go? Think about your exit plan before you start to declutter so you can start to Section those things off and know exactly where everything is going. Honestly, it's a step that gets skipped so often, and then sometimes it's like three, six months down the line, people are like, I've still got that stuff in the garage waiting to go to charity. And then you feel very overwhelmed, because you gotta go through it all again just to double check, because you're nervous, right? Because you've not seen it. You can't remember whether, whether it was the destined for donation or charity or whatever. And so you really need to think about that exit plan really carefully before you start the decluttering process, so you don't become overwhelmed with the volume of decluttered items. Yeah, crucial, crucial. And a step that often, often gets missed out. And that's what we hear from, you know, from the people in our communities. Oh my gosh. I've literally, I'm doing this all the time. I've literally found the bags in my spare bedroom that I've been kind of putting there, that I'm gonna get around to one day until it's left your house it's not decluttered. So, yes, very important. Number eight. Now the next thing is, what is really what we think is really important as well, to avoid overwhelm, don't give yourself massive piles of stuff I'm going to sell. Make sure you make donation or giving away a priority over selling. Now, I know we keep saying this, but it's really, really important, because it can be a tremendous barrier to have all of these clothes and piles and bags and books, I'm going to sell it. I'm going to try and recoup some of this money to have them building up somewhere in your room. And of course, we are acutely aware that some people have to sell because that's the only way for them, because they just can't let it all go. But if you can make donation a priority over selling, it will feel good. It could feel as your contribution to charity. It can feel like you're doing good. And of course, it makes it easier for you to let the stuff go out of your house when you have done the decluttering, and not let it be another thing on your list that you have to investigate and sort out and do, and then you feel disappointed, because a lot of times the items don't get the money that you envisage you would get it for. You give yourself a lot of extra jobs to do, and it can be tremendous barriers. So take out that overwhelm if you can let the stuff go as soon as possible, once you have decluttered it from your home. I think it's all about this layering up again that we were talking about with the cleaning, isn't it? Ingrid. So decluttering is not, is not a standalone thing. There are other things that need to happen on the on the back of decluttering, right? We talked before about donation and having an exit plan and taking things to the charity.

25:00
Shop. And whilst that is like another job, it's literally probably, depending on where you live, somewhere between 15 and 45 minutes to get that job done, to put them in your car, drive to where you need to go, drop them off. Bob's your uncle. Job done. Whereas selling, if you were to think about selling two, three bin bags of items. It would take days to get there. You know, honestly, I think it's one of the biggest thing. You know, we really try and hammer this message across in everything that we teach, wherever we're teaching, because once you make that switch into, do you know what the money was wasted at the time that I spent it. My priority is creating space in my home. And you take the whole selling situation out of it, it's a massive game changer, isn't it, Ingrid, one of the biggest people like I wish that I'd done this years ago, because I've literally got stuff, because it stays there for years, and by the time you get around selling it, then it's out of fashion and stuff and not as desirable. So there's different things. And of course, there are exceptions to that. Of course there are things that are very valuable that you need to sell, but just pare down the amount of stuff that you want to sell. Super, super important. So I think we're ready for our number 10 inward, Yes, last one of this list, how to kind of ways to avoid overwhelm and decluttering. And number 10 is, don't get stuck into perfectionism. Avoid perfectionism. Avoid thinking, I have to do this perfectly. Otherwise, what's the point? I mean, geez, life is not perfect, is it? We have to, you know,

26:40
roll with the punches. And what does it how? Well, how does that? Say? Go Lesley, I'm like, with the punches. Nice, nice. Yeah, exactly. Perfectionism is a big thing in the decluttering world, and it's the thing that stops us. So, you know, we stop before we even get started. We we feel quite perfectionist. We wait for everything to align, and we're like, you know, the everything's got to align before we get started and then, but it's not aligning, so we procrastinate. Yeah, on it we don't get the job done and or if we do get the job done with way too perfectionist so it takes too much time, or it's too difficult. So recognize perfectionism in yourself. Like a lot of people in the declution world, don't recognize the perfectionism side of things, because they feel, Oh, everything's a little bit chaotic and messy. So how can I be a perfectionist? But actually, you're being perfectionist before you've even got started. It's all about that progress, not perfection. Just give it a go. Have a go. You know, you can titivate those drawers and put labels on and make it all perfect later on, a kind of second pass, you need to get the basics right. First, go into it, make some inroads, and then you can worry about making it all perfect, if that's what you want to do later down the line. I think it stops people throw a lot of barriers in their own way, right? Because, yeah, but I want to do this, but then I have to first move this and do that and fix thing, and just look at a couple of bits. You know, just get started. You don't have to do 50 items. Now, start with a couple of items. And, yeah, it might not be in the place you want it to be yet, but it's a work in progress. But if you're already in your mind, trying to think 20 steps ahead. Then it that overwhelm hits you. So take it one step at a time. Just go, okay, just gonna look at these couple of bits now and you build on that, and then later, like Lesley said, you can go, I'm gonna put a label on it, or I'm gonna move the location or but just getting started and not trying to plan the whole thing. Because how often does something completely go to plan? Never things happen along the way. We have to change tack. We have to just shift our our thinking and go, that didn't work. We're gonna have to but if you already bogged down with all the 20 steps ahead, thinking you'll never get started, and that's what we want. I mean, that was quite, quite a damning statement there Ingrid. Like, how often does something go according to plan? Never. Like, never, never. Well, we have things do go according to plan. Sometimes we're not gonna lie. Never. Oh, wow, that's

29:25
very negative for a positive vibes podcast. Ingrid, hey, shall I let it go in an attempt to be nicer to you this

29:35
year? Ingrid, honestly, you say whatever you'd like to say, and I'll never, ever challenge you.

29:41
You know what? I think you know, all kidding aside, of course, things go to plan, of course. But you know, I think if we are struck down in our own thinking that it all has to be done perfectly, then it will never happen. You know what I mean. So I think that's the thing.

30:00
Can we want to, want to put to the side a little bit and go, Okay, I'm just going to go over the flow here and change tech accordingly. And because if we wait for everything to line up the stars in the perfect day, in the great weather and all of that, that

30:16
will be waiting for a long time, maybe

30:20
Oh,

30:24
like, Okay, do you want to end this on a positive note? I do. I do. I hope you enjoyed our 10 ways to avoid overwhelming decluttering podcast. So has this podcast made you think? Like, yeah, I do that as well. I need to listen. I need to take this advice on board, because I want to avoid it overwhelm. What can you implement in your own homes, in your own lives? Let us know, send us an email, leave us a comment. We would love to know, because it's great for us to hear as well. If this information that we share with you resonates with you, because it's really important, because we believe these are the key things that can help you move forwards, which we love Absolutely. So thanks so much for being here, and yeah, we'll see you next week. Bye everyone.

31:19
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