Episode 393 – How a Clutter-Free Home Strengthens Relationships – A Valentine’s special

Ingrid: With Valentine's Day, just around the corner today, we're chatting through how decluttering can make a big difference to calm, connection and harmony at home. Whether you're celebrating with a partner, family, friends, or enjoying a bit of well-deserved self-care, the space around you shapes the way you feel.

In this episode, we'll look at how clutter impacts relationships while sharing the load of the home matters and makes life that little bit more romantic for Valentine's Day.

Ingrid: Hello and welcome listeners. I'm Ingrid.

Lesley: And I am Lesley. Now, if you are here for the very first time today, or you've been listening in for ages, we want to say a huge thank you we have a little favour to ask.

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Well, Lesley, did you hear I'm getting, like I did a whole romantic voice there for Valentine's Day.

Lesley: I know we can't go through the beginning of this episode without talking about our individual takes on Valentine's Day I guess Ingrid now from memory we have had a chat about the romance in the Janssen household before haven't we With the playlist situation that was a little while ago so I hope you've upped your game a little bit Are you planning on being romantic for Valentine's Day This is the question

Ingrid: Well, I always get my husband a lovely card for Valentine's Day. so yes, I'm not doing too bad on that. maybe some chocolates or something. He does, he does fancy dark chocolates, so I'll probably get some chocolates. I'll, I think I will hope to receive some flowers. and a card. definitely. We normally tend to not go out for a meal on Valentine's Day because everywhere is absolutely packed.

We rather go the day before, the week after, but we normally try to kind of do something at home. yeah, I'm looking forward to it. It's a Saturday, so not doing too bad, but I don't think we're gonna go out for a meal, but I think we're probably gonna do something at home, I would say.

Lesley: Are you romantic though Ingrid This is the question

Ingrid: Oh, I do like, I do, I mean, I do like putting candles on, not smelly candles. May I add, we've had this before where we talked about this before. My husband does not like a vanilla scented or cinnamon scented candle, but yet to put some candles on. am I romantic? Ooh.

Lesley: I'm not sure putting candles on is like a I wasn't really thinking about whether or not you put a lighter candle I was thinking about whether you're a romantic

Ingrid: Yeah, I, I know maybe, I don't know. I, I, I don't think I'm very romantic. Maybe I'm far too dutch, far too, be normal. Then it's good enough. I don't think, I don't think romance. I'm not sure. Maybe it's, that's a question to ask young Lesley.

Lesley: Yeah I'm sensing a big fat no actually from what I'm reading what I know about you I'm like going for a no Interestingly Valentine's Day is the day that Steve and I got together So we got together on Valentine's Day So it has

Ingrid: Oh

Lesley: whatever the word is import double level of importance And I'm just trying to think now when it was So we're 2026 and we got together in 1988 Oh my God So that's like how long is that When we're both rubbish at me And you're rubbish at mass That's

Ingrid: 1248 years.

Lesley: No 38

Ingrid: 30, 38 years.

Lesley: years I know It's a lot isn't it It's a lot And it's definitely to be celebrated Steve is very romantic for sure he's more romantic than I am but I have my moments as well But we're not really talking about Oz

Ingrid: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're not going to get rid of that so easily. So what, what is he like, romantic? So what do you consider then romantic.

Lesley: Steve's a gift giver for sure

Ingrid: Mm-hmm.

Lesley: always got a beautiful gift from him very carefully thought through often quite surprising He'll always book something he's just got a romantic demeanor He's he

Ingrid: Hmm.

Lesley: kind guy so yeah It's hard to explain really without going into too much detail Do you know what I mean But Yeah

Ingrid: So are you romantic? Come clean then. Are you romantic?

Lesley: I would say I'm quite an emotional soul but I dunno what that

Ingrid: Hmm.

Lesley: I'm romantic per se I would say Steve's more romantic than I am if I'm

Ingrid: mm

Lesley: Do

Ingrid: Yeah,

Lesley: So

Ingrid: I think same.

Yeah,

Lesley: Yeah

Ingrid: same. Same.

Lesley: thing We're at the receiving end of it aren't we So we're all good so yeah we will be celebrating we always do something cause it's quite nice because I think these these milestones whatever they are is a little bit different cause it's ours is an anniversary as well so I think it's important you said 48 years There are lots of people out there 48 50 years my friends parents have just celebrated their diamond anniversary These are huge milestones

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: not many marriages last these days And so we need to be able to celebrate these milestones as we go along And if that

Ingrid: Mm.

Lesley: a little bit of romance along the way and if Valentine's Day just gives you a little bit of time to to pause and think about your relationship then

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: good thing

Ingrid: Yeah, I think I agree, Lesley. I think, you know, the Valentine's Day doesn't have to be, if you're like, oh my gosh, another one of those holidays that was invented, and it has to, you know, you have to do gifts and balloons and flowers and chocolates and go for meal and buy roses. If that's not your bag, I think it does make you at least think about, okay, whether it's maybe to your partner, your husband.

Also to your friends, like you can appreciate, just have, have a moment to think about the people around you in your life that you might think, you know what, I really appreciate them and I'm gonna think about them. And it doesn't necessarily have to be a Valentine's card, but it can just be a nice little WhatsApp and go, Hey, you know, thinking about you today.

Have hope, you have a great day, and know it's Valentine's Day, but I'm just thinking about you. So I think it's, you can put it, really put it in a wider context, right? Valentine's Day.

Lesley: Yeah we say it's like anything I remember when I was in the States actually and and as everybody knows the states do really well in terms of celebrating lots of different days

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: throughout the year And remember when I go there and I was a bit like why are we like doing Valentine's Day at school This is for partnerships really husbands and wives or boyfriend girlfriend whatever And it widened it out into kind of children and all that And I thought actually it's quite cute It's just about love at the end of the day

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: it depends on your take on it You the commercial side of it's something completely different isn't it But if it does allow you time to pause and

Ingrid: Mm.

Lesley: those that you love and that's gotta be a good

Ingrid: Yeah. Yeah.

Lesley: in my opinion

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: anyway we're not there to talk about love per se cause we're not relationship experts or successful really at romance itself We're here to talk about clutter and how that affects relationships cause it absolutely does It absolutely

does. And maybe this is an opportunity for people to look at what's important to them And look at maybe the will undoubtedly be we've seen it many times There's conflict in relationships because of

Ingrid: Oh yeah.

Lesley: And actually re-look at that and go actually I don't want that anymore And so Valentine's Day is that day that you can draw a line in the sand and go let's try and move forward positively with our relationship by decluttering So we're gonna talk a little bit about that We're in the mood for love and we're in the mood for decluttering Ingrid

Ingrid: Always, always in the mood for dicking Lesley. I think.

Lesley: In the mood for love not always in the mood for love

Ingrid: Oh, gosh. Yeah. I'm always in a mood for love as well, but life's busy, you know what I mean? But no, it's true. I think it's really true. I think. Clutter has a tremendous impact on relationships. I think people think the clutter, you know, affects the home. Of course it does. Of course it does, but it also def affects the people who live in it.

And I think it's really, you know, I think they did, they do like regularly polls, Lesley, like what's, like the one thing that really is hard in your relationship or what you find really what you struggle with? And I think clutter makes it up there, you know, in the top 10 out of things, or maybe even in the top five out of things that can really wreak havoc.

You know, it's, it's also the clutter, of course, connected to the chores and the, the, and the, and the household, the running of the household. It's kind of, it all gets intertwined, but definitely massive impact. And when you, when you live in a clotted house. I think it's also quite hard to be romantic if you have to kind, if you like laundry and boxes full of stuff and piles of stuff everywhere, it's hard to kind of go, oh, let's put a candle on it.

Enjoy nice glass of wine or watch a film together when it's chaotic in your, for example, your living room. So definitely for me, I think it really affects how, how relationships flourish or perish a little bit.

Lesley: And I think so on What causes problems with clutter and obviously you've got the visual overwhelm you've got the stuff around so like that's one side of it Then we've got things like the sort of the mismatch between who is managing the home So quite often this is the case and quite often this is fine as well within a relationship might decide that one person is the one that's going out to work a little bit more and the other person is carrying the burden of responsibility of the home And that might be something that you've worked out between yourselves that's definitely something that Steve and I worked out back in the day not 38 years ago maybe 28 30 years ago Was that was what we were gonna that's not the case anymore but that was the case in the early days I stayed home with the kids and I did the lion share in the house because he was at work all day And that makes sense and that's something that you work out But nowadays things are so evenly shared in terms of people having to both parties having to go out to work

Ingrid: Yep.

Lesley: pay mortgages and all that kind of stuff that the home is still there waiting for You you go out to work 40 hours a week and you've still got home facing it You can't do it during the day And so I think if one person is carrying the kind of mental load of the home sometimes that leads to frustration and resentment on the other person's

Ingrid: Mm-hmm.

Lesley: For sure doesn't it

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: so that's one of the biggest thing and we know this is what causes arguments I've done this I've done that And there are very there are some people who have got it all worked out and understand where their different roles and responsibilities are But even if you've got that worked out We're human beings and

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: like why have I spent weekend hiding this house and you've just done nothing or gone out and had a nice time or whatever that is

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: cause we're human beings and we respond to that kind of stuff And I think that clutter is this kind of source of a micro tension isn't it These

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: mic not microaggressions but like a micro tension You've got these daily little things that annoyances

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: add up

Ingrid: Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Lesley: somebody doesn't do the washing up somebody who's doing the drying up You are the one that what that looks like And all of those little micro tensions based around chores and clutter and stuff that needs to be done at home really add up to be just this little aggressive thing really within a relationship

Ingrid: Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure. And Lesley. So over that, spread money. And then you've got like the, the, the, the perfect way of things boiling over, right? Because money, of course, is such an important part as well in relationships. And of course a lot of times people who have clutter, It, the clutter exists because sometimes they overspend, they over shop, they over buy, and then the other partner might go, well, why is all this stuff here?

Where's all the money gone? And then you throw money on top of clutter and you've got like a, a, a lot of tension can can. Revolve around that because you might be with somebody who's very thrifty, or you might be with somebody who's who loves to spend stuff, and then you need to find a balance in that.

How are you going to find a way of figuring it out together, right? If, if one person is like, oh yeah, you know, we'll worry about tomorrow and tomorrow, and the other person's like, but we need to. Save money here, but we need to pay all these bills and how are we gonna do that? And that can really be like a cocktail of, of, of disaster.

That definitely will kill the romance, I think.

Lesley: Definitely I think me a relationship that's not mismatched in the way that people think about stuff Do

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: It's it is a rarity isn't it For one person for both people to be like okay yeah we're not gonna spend any money on that And because know why we shop We shop often because we feel down We're trying to fix a problem We're trying

Ingrid: Mm-hmm.

Lesley: emotionally escape for a while And and that's an individual thing based on the stresses that you have in your own work and your own life and stuff isn't it So for that to be evenly balanced is a rarity I would say Some

Ingrid: Mm-hmm.

Lesley: worked out but it's really about understanding those ebbs and flows and coming to a collective kind of goal in terms of finance and how then buying stuff then fits into that So

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: it's all so closely connected isn't it Ingrid Clutter relationships money shared responsibility chores The end of the day everything that we talk about from a decluttering perspective is all related to the home And we spend so much time in our home and it means So much to us that it needs to work like clockwork but things happen And so

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: a big one sure yeah when it comes to sharing responsibility in the home

Ingrid: Mm-hmm.

Lesley: what are your thoughts on that Ingrid How do we make that work

Ingrid: I think it starts, actually, it starts with a conversation and that conversation is not like, okay, we've once agreed something 15 years ago and, and it's always going to stay the same. I think you have to have conversations on a very regular basis and go, okay. How are we doing both of us here in our current life, in the current home, in the Division of Labor, the division of tasks, the division of chores?

Are you actually doing the stuff that you. I mean, nobody likes to do chores, right? You just have, sometimes you just have to go, have to get on with it because it has to be done. You know the washing up has to be done. And if you both agree that you don't like it, well then something's got to give and either person has to go, I'm gonna do this and I'm just gonna, because you also need to do a job that I don't like doing, but together.

We need to make sure this house keeps moving forwards. And if you, like I said, if you've made agreements a long time ago, you need to always revise this because things change. If you have children in your family, at some point they might be able to help. If you, are just with the two of you, the other person might take more hours on at work or less hours.

So you need to constantly review that and you also need to be realistic and go. Okay, when do we expect from each other that these things happen? Because people have different energy levels and different times of the day when they're at their best. And when you are a morning person and you are like expecting, for example, your partner to do.

The dishes in the morning, but he's like, I'm an evening person and I wanna do them after dinner. It can be a great source of annoyance and irritation that you see the dirty dishes all day, and you're like, why is he not doing it Well, he is going, well, I've agreed I'm gonna do it. I'm just gonna do it in the evening.

So communicate, talk about that. So. The, the, the tension goes down a little bit. Divide the chores. You do the dusting. I do the hoovering. Well, I dunno. You do the shopping, I do the cooking. Or you do five nights and I do two nights. Whatever it is, you have to all pitch in together to make it work. But what we see often, there's a lot of pressure on one person to do it all.

That really creates resentment. So I think it's really something that, you know, needs to be spoken about.

Lesley: Yeah definitely And I think constant communication is so important as well cause run the risk of not sharing what's going on cause a lot of

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: need planning as well So you need to think about what you if you're going through a busy period in your life or for whatever reason you need to think about what the next A couple of weeks looks like and share where you think there are gonna be problems where you

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: additional help where you think things are gonna be done so that you both understand or all depending on who's in the home understand how this is all gonna work You can't assume anything As soon as you start making assumptions that's when you feel as if somebody's let you down I think and that's where the

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: starts to build

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: really important in a general Sense to share those responsibilities to share those resets every day to make sure like you talk about the washing up all the dust and the clean and all that kind of stuff I think if we then move into a space where we're actually doing more decluttering more project based decluttering this is like one of the questions that guests asked more than anything else in the world It's like how do I Typically cause it's mostly women in our communities get my partner my husband often on board Do you know what I mean With the decluttering And this is tricky and it's one that we've never there's not a good solution Again it's about communication what we would say if it's about decluttering and how to get somebody who's more reluctant on board is don't start with the most difficult areas Don't start with the contentious areas first Start simply start somewhere where you know The other person is not gonna worry about it too much and is gonna be able to make more practical decisions Start in the kitchen for example Don't start with their DVD collection which is quite do you know what I mean Things like things that matter Don't start with things that annoy you but matter a lot to them They probably No you cause they you feel like they've got too many of them but it matters a lot to them and they've collected them over years and all that kind of stuff So it's really important to start with easier rooms The same with any decluttering This is no different but you need to do it like that I think also a goal agree a timescale communicate how long you're gonna spend on this look at where are you working towards Why are you doing this What's your big picture goal All of those kind of things need to be discussed And then you need to look at what you have achieved rather than what you haven't celebrate those small wins along the way to know that you appreciate the other person for the effort that they have put in If it's something that they struggle with so this is just all about communication It's about going back to the basics of decluttering that we teach everybody regardless but if you're trying to do it collectively it's more difficult Quite often decluttering is a solo pursuit and often it's easier to do it as a solo pursuit as well But if you want to collectively do it cause you feel overwhelmed that's perfectly normal to want other people to be involved then you need to communicate effectively about what the goals are here what are the parameters of this decluttering project it all sounds a little bit heavy doesn't it Ingrid We're gonna come back and talk about this a little bit more because we want to get love back in the in the room don't we With so let's pop to a break Come back in a moment and talk about some Other things that are gonna put the romance back into your home and back into Valentine's Day

Ingrid: Well, hi everyone. Welcome back. We are talking about bringing romance back into your home because it's nearly Valentine's Day and we talked a lot about the things that have an impact on relationships, but now let's talk about the things we can do ourselves and together to get that connection going, to get that romance back into the home because there are things that we definitely can do, right?

Lesley?

Lesley: Yeah definitely Oh dear me There are definitely things that we can do I'm just be like gosh this is a lot isn't it I think it's really important to clear the clutter down from the Spaces where you want to spend time together right And

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: got like your sofa is covered with baskets of laundry or folding or washing or paperwork or all of that kind of stuff then that's never gonna be conducive to your own wellbeing and certainly not to romance And so we really need to look at those seating areas where we want to be together Make sure that they're as clear as they can be So maybe that needs to be your focal point sometimes it's not as simple as we know You can't just clear paperwork down You can't just clear laundry down because you've gotta have somewhere to put it So it is part of a wider project and wider process really but it's

Ingrid: Mm-hmm.

Lesley: Then that might be your goal your

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: are struggling because of your clutter that might be a really important big picture goal for you we talk about big picture goals all the time Is your big picture goal Do you know what We need to be able to have a little bit of calm together so that we connect we can connect more when we come together at night or whatever rather than just see all of the chores in front of us that need to be done That's what happens

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: And so you

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: space to allow yourself space to breathe and connect

Ingrid: Yeah, and just to relax a little bit and just sit down and even if it's too, you know. Have, have a cup of tea together or drink a glass of wine or watch your favorite show or something. When you've got a place in your living room where you can just both sit down and relax, it will be very, very beneficial.

Same goes for the kitchen, right? A kitchen is in. Important room. It's the hub of the home. You might have agreed in the past. Okay. You do the shopping, I do the cooking, for example. But if your kitchen is a mess and the person who does the shopping can't put the stuff away in the cupboards and everything gets, is left out, and then that means that the kitchen counters are cluttered.

So the person who is cooking can't then do the cooking because they can't chop and they can't, you know what I mean? It's an important room and maybe one of your big picture goals is actually we would love to cook together because we make a good team and we both enjoy it. We both enjoy a nice meal. We both, we both enjoy.

Maybe a little bit more elaborate cooking. But we can't do that now because of the clutter in the kitchen. So maybe one of your, things that you want to focus on is actually for Valentine's Day, we wanna be able to cook together. So let me spend some time this week to just get that kitchen, the levels just a little bit lower, the counter's a little bit cleaner and sort a few, you know, things out of the cupboards, gets rid of some out of date food.

Make sure that I. Clear out some Tupperware that's mismatched. So actually I can clear the stuff a little bit again, so we can do act, actually an activity of cooking together in the kitchen. Lovely.

Lesley: Is it lovely Is it lovely cooking together

Ingrid: Well, I mean, I, I don't mind it. Actually, not very often. Not very often. We more, more take turns. We more take turns. But he's very because, but he's very good at certain recipes and I am not. But yeah, we don't really often cook together. But when, when we've got like a party or something, we both prepping things, we do enjoy being in the kitchen together and kind of go, okay, what are you doing?

What am I making? What's happening? Are we on track? So, yeah.

Lesley: that's nice that's romantic I always my people my my good friends Julie and Jim they both love cooking and so they cook together all the time which is lovely Steve doesn't really know how to cook so we're just getting off the starting blocks now in retirement We're definitely not cooking with him and but I can cook with Leah to be fair So when we're cooking dinner

Ingrid: Mm.

Lesley: quite often we'll double handle that a little bit

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: yeah But generally I think absolutely not cooking with him cause he is like a tornado like fantastic cook But like it would just be like no you've literally got every single thing out but I agree A calm yeah it's nice to have a calm kitchen and it opens up the possibility of cooking together If that's something that floats your boat

Ingrid: Yeah. Yeah,

Lesley: boat particularly But it might float other peoples And so you need to work out whether that's something that

Ingrid: yeah, yeah.

Lesley: long term So

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: we're talking about togetherness Ingrid now we're talking about the bedroom togetherness So it's important have a restful bedroom that gives you that opportunity to rest and play Ingrid

Ingrid: Ex Exactly, because of course it's Valentine's Day. We have to think about the romance. And if, of course, if you're in your bedroom looking around at paperwork and a desk full of drawers and floor drops and piles of clothing anywhere, then. It's not really conducive for a romantic Valentine's Day, right?

So make sure that, and I mean, even just sleeping is so important and having a clotted bedroom is really not conducive to sleeping well. They've done lots of research on that. So have a look at that bedroom. Have a look at, you know what, let me just do a bit of a tidy. It's good for. Everybody in the home when your bedroom is decluttered because it's important that sleep comes re, I mean, we spend hopefully about seven or eight hours of our day, sleeping.

So make sure you make that as restful as possible. So an important room to get right, and especially when you wanna have some romance this Valentine's Day.

Lesley: I'm really glad that's the terminology that you used now that we're live and to the public Ingrid cause that is not the terminology that you use when we were preparing this podcast Is it So we won't share what

Ingrid: Exact.

Lesley: you

Ingrid: Exact.

Lesley: in the bedroom but you can listen yourselves listeners you can work it out for yourselves But anyway we shall move on so I think yeah we've talked about this before I think it's really important to tidy the space where you spend any kind of time together

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: if you want to be romantic floor space dining tables kitchen

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: anywhere where you can collectively come together and chat or watch things together or sleep in the same bed together whatever that may be Clear those spaces down and make that a big picture goal Now we Of course what we've been talking about quite a lot is relationships right We talk about relationships and but there are a lot of people in our memberships in our communities who haven't got a relationship with somebody for Valentine's Day And but there's still important things It's all about self-care and self-love So let's talk about things If you are spending Valentine's Day solo then what can you do for yourself cause it's IM yes it's important to share the love but it's also important to love yourself as well right

Ingrid: Definitely, and I think, you know, gi give yourself the, you know, you are allowed to have a nice home for yourself, right? Because you might think, well, I'm just here. I'm not doing it for anybody, but just do it for yourself because you might think actually. I'm really glad I'm by myself. I mean, there's lots of people who've literally just come, come out of relationships and gone.

I'm glad I don't have to do Valentine's Day this year. But that doesn't mean you cannot celebrate yourself. I mean, we talked about celebrating friendships and all of that, but also decluttering is a very big part of self-care. You know, having a nice, tidy, organized house is super beneficial for your own mental health, for the way you feel about yourself, how you can kind of, because.

Having less clutter just gives you this space in almost in your brain to think more and to plan ahead and to think about all the things that you want to do instead of the clutter holding you in the past. So if you're thinking to yourself, well, I'm by myself, for Valentine's Day. Think about what you can do.

Maybe you love having a long bath or something and you're like, well I'm going to make sure my bathroom is nice and sparkly. I'm gonna have a nice bath and I'm going to use that lovely. 'cause we all save like nice things for best. Right? And we always say the best is now. So take that lovely, beautiful.

Package maybe that you got for the, for the holidays, for Christmas, with that beautiful bath crystals or soaps or that special thing that you've got, or that lovely candle that they gave you, put, you know, use it and go, you know what, I, I deserve, I deserve this. I'm not going to keep it. For best we hear it so much.

People safe and safe, and safe. Do good stuff. And then it goes off or it doesn't smell nice anymore. Or if it's dusty or it's, or it's damaged or it's, it's leaking or when, you know what I mean? It's like, oh no, and now it's it. And then the magic is gone. So if you've gotten something really nice recently, PO bring it out.

This is your moment. Go for it.

Lesley: Yeah And com and comfort yourself with the fact that you don't have all of these conflicts that we spoke about earlier in the podcast cause you've only got yourself to worry about So that's a good thing right

Ingrid: Yeah,

Lesley: you need to sort it and no one's shouting at you for spending too much You just do your own thing But it's important to to shower that romance and that self-love on yourself really as well isn't it Here we romance

Ingrid: I know. I know, I, I feel like I need to up my game as usual, Lesley, you've put me on the spot that I'm like, Hmm. I'm not really romantic. I mean, I, I think I, I show my romance more by doing stuff and not by like, giving gifts. I mean, I do get a card and things like that, but yeah, I, I think more my, my love language is more like making stuff happen and booking stuff and,

Lesley: remember

Ingrid: you know, going to a nice show.

Lesley: Yeah

Ingrid: You've got like five long language. Yeah, there's like five love languages or something.

Lesley: like gifs and I can't remember what they

Ingrid: Yeah. I think it's like ex of service. I think I'm more of an ex of service kind of.

yeah

Lesley: as well You don't expect that That was it Acts of service there's like gif giving acts of service and then there's three others that I can't remember So

Ingrid: Yeah. Yeah.

Lesley: we've not looked into love languages too much cause we don't even know what they are But I'm sure somebody in the comments will tell us what I think it's five love

Ingrid: Yeah,

Lesley: it's five but

Ingrid: yeah, yeah,

Lesley: we're like acts of service aren't we for sure doing things for the

Ingrid: yeah, yeah,

Lesley: definitely our thing

Ingrid: yeah, yeah, yeah,

Lesley: that we do actually have a love language There is something in there might not be reserved for our husbands but we do have it So that's

Ingrid: Oh

Lesley: thing

Ingrid: yeah.

Lesley: that's what we wanted to share So yeah care Show yourself some love show your partner some love and do some decluttering just to make the home the calm environment that it needs to be to support your relationship So important

Ingrid: Definitely. So listeners indeed, let us know. Has this podcast inspired you to do a bit of decluttering, bring back a bit of romance, or actually use up that lovely, body lotion or bath salts that you got as a present, and that's still in your cupboard. You need to tell us. We would love to hear from you.

Share it in the comments, and we look forward to seeing you next week.