A graphic of a christmas scene with roaring fire, christmas tree, gifts and a photograph on the wall of Lesley and Ingrid in Santa hats.
Episode 64 – Christmas with Lesley and Ingrid

As Christmas approaches, Ingrid and Lesley take the time to reflect on how they celebrate Christmas with their own extended families, traditions, celebrations and how things differ in the UK and Holland are all on the agenda.
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Transcript of this podcast episode
Intro  0:07  
Welcome to today's episode of the declutter hub podcast, your channel for super easy, no nonsense advice on how to declutter and organise your home. Please welcome your host professional organisers, Ingrid Jansen, and Lesley Spellman.

Ingrid  0:31  
Hello, and welcome listeners to Episode 64 of the declutter hub Podcast. I'm Ingrid. 

Lesley  0:37  
And I'm Lesley. 

Ingrid  0:38  
If you have clutter and more disorder that this is a show for you, as well as the free resources on our declutter health.com website, like the podcast checklists and guest blogs. We also have an exclusive area where we guide our members step by step to declutter their homes. We realise this can be very overwhelming. So we're there every step of the way. With cautious live q&a and a community discussion. Take a look on members dot declutter hub.com In today's episode, Lesley and I will be talking about what we're doing this Christmas and how we prepare and organise ourselves for it. And I am actually you can probably hear the smile in my in my voice but I'm actually laugh I'm nearly crying laughing here. Last week, I was wearing my Christmas hat as you can probably remember. And now literally. Lesley, it's sitting here. Oh my gosh, I really need to take a photo of this. Honestly, she's she's wearing this elf hat with his ears and it's Oh, I'm sorry, listeners. I just Oh my god, I'm crying here. She's weird. But he's really like beautiful, beautiful hats that I look. I think I look really ridiculous. elf hat. This is really pointing his ears and as well. So let's read.

Lesley  2:08  
Yeah, there's my bells. There's my bells. Yeah, I just didn't want to move to be left out because I felt quite No, not really into the Christmas spirit last week. And so now now it's closer to Christmas. We're talking about our Christmas says so it's time. So I now on masks, my Christmas outfits and the NFL. Okay, came out. And so I'm bringing it here for you. And we were picture of Oz in our Christmas hats on the podcasts.

Ingrid  2:33  
I have one question when you wear it.

Lesley  2:37  
No, I don't wear it. Stay for it on Christmas morning. We sort of share it around. It's a full outfit. I've only showed you the hat it is full outfit.

Ingrid  2:48  
listeners. Yeah, we need to vote photo photo of less outfit. Don't you agree with me? We should also dissolve outfit or lesson.

Lesley  3:00  
Maybe we will see we will see. Right? Okay. Well. I mean, really, we've done five minutes of just laughing valuable content in that. It's Christmas coming up. We are getting slightly delirious. We've got to take some time off. Which is a good thing.

Ingrid  3:15  
We have now only spent five minutes laughing but it's Christmas. We shouldn't be laughing We love this time of year and makes me really cheerful. I'm nearly off home go to see my family. I'm so excited. So we should be cheerful and happy. It's a time of Ah, I love Christmas. I do.

Lesley  3:34  
It's a time when man you don't see each other for two weeks. So therefore it's a period of great joy. So anyway, right? We need to talk about our Christmases. That's what we're here for. Yes. Okay. So you and I have quite different Christmases. So let's talk about what Christmas looks like for you. So the run up to Christmas, the next few days. What does that look like for you?

Ingrid  3:54  
Well, we are normally home over Christmas, which I'm really looking forward to. So we always go home for about a week we go back to the Netherlands we're going to see family and friends and we've got a whole programme of places we're going to go people we're going to see and things we're going to do. So I need to make sure my car is packed with stuff I need to bring I need to be on top of my washing and my ironing. So I can just pack my suitcases and bring the right things my presents, although I don't bring that many presents, and we'll talk about that a little bit later as well. They need to be wrapped I need to write my last Christmas cards. And that's it and the ferry has been booked over the summer so that was ages ago. So we just need to we always do that very much on time. So I'm away for about a week over Christmas and I'm going to spend all my time with my family

Lesley  4:43  
right and so your SIR Christmas is getting hosted at your sister's is it yeah so you you don't host over Christmas generally always back in Holland. Yeah, that's nice thing so that's why you're so nice looks different because I tend to be the host for Christmas day and have been for quite a number of years really. So For us, it's all about preparation for the sort of big day and the meal and so on. leading up to Christmas is a bit of a sort of crazy time of preparation, I always want to be completely done by about three o'clock on Christmas Eve in terms of everything ready for the following day. And then we always go out so, so we go out with friends and their kids on Christmas Eve for dinner or for drinks, which is always nice. And then we're ready to get up the next morning. My kids are older now. But they still very much love the traditions and so they will very much be with us not all night now on Christmas Eve, they will go out with the friends afterwards. But earlier on Christmas Eve they always spend with us.

Ingrid  5:38  
So what kind of things would you prepare them? Like what would you what what do you want to finish at three o'clock on Christmas Eve what what are the things you want to have done,

Lesley  5:47  
I want to make sure that all of the wrapping is completely done. And that all of my all the stockings are done. And they're all in the right stocking set ready to go so that when I come in from probably the pub on Christmas Eve, that I just literally have to move things to where they need to go. And I need to be careful again what I'm saying. So I just need to take those presents put them where they need to be. And I've not got any of this last minute scrambling around. Really, I think that's the most important thing for me, for Christmas Eve, I like to have the table completely set and ready. I like to have all my crockery and plates and everything ready for dinner for the following day. So that kind of thing.

Ingrid  6:25  
And do you ride Christmas cards, Lesley,

Lesley  6:27  
and less than less actually, I find it really difficult because I do love the tradition of Christmas. And so I kind of lament almost the way that it's going in terms of cards. But equally, is it a waste of money is a waste of resources. I find myself really torn. And so what I do is over the last few years, I've really only sent cards to the people that I think would truly like them. So probably that tends to be people that are abroad that I wouldn't see very often, or the older generation, I don't think that sending an email or any card is a replacement for the real thing. So I'd rather not send one at all. But what I definitely don't do is I don't send cards to my immediate family and I don't send them to my friends I see all the time.

Ingrid  7:13  
How interesting, you know what it's, I've thought about cards a lot this year, especially because of the environment. And also, not necessarily even about the money with more or less about the environment. And I kind of almost went okay, I'm not going to send any cards at all, I'm just really want to send all my lovely clients a card just to thank them for working with me over the past year, and I'm not gonna set any other cards. And then at my father's birthday, all my arms were like, Oh, we just love receiving your card over Christmas, thank you so much for sending us one every year and I went, Okay. And then I kind of I'm kind of a bit of an all or nothing person. I think so then okay, I'm just gonna do everybody. So this year, again, I've opted to write everybody. And so my cards that have been sent internationally have been sent out a couple of weeks ago. And I'm going to bring, I'm going to see quite a lot of people over Christmas, I'm gonna actually give them a card, because I'm not going to send it to them. I'm just going to give it to them. So I can send write my cards in phases. But I mean, now we're a couple of days before Christmas, everything is written, and so can take it with me, and I'm done with that, then

Lesley  8:20  
I think it's I think it's really hard. And it's getting increasingly difficult to rationalise everything together, isn't it with the environment, and the cost and intentional spending, and then marry that up against the joy that present giving them present receiving gifts? Particularly give, then, you know, I definitely prefer giving gifts and I do receiving them? I'm not saying that I don't like receiving gifts because I do. But you know, I think it does bring a lot of joy if it's done. Well you know, what I said to my kids this year is I'm only going to give you presents that you absolutely want. And so I definitely want a wish list from them. Whereas before I think we've kind of embraced and surprises elements of it. And so I just think it needs to be intentional in some way and we do find ourselves very torn at the moment, don't we in terms of what we think so it's it's hard as well being in our industry where we see an awful lot of waste and an awful lot of things that are mis bought and a lot an awful lot of presents that are given that people don't want anymore and feel too embarrassed or guilty to get rid of and so it is hard and so I think my compromise this year has been right kids tell me what you want and within reason we'll we'll try and cover that but I need to make sure even if it's stuck in things you know in stockings Apple things like knickers and pants and socks and things like that. But if you don't need any tell me that you don't need any I'm not going to buy those I'd rather spend the money on something that you do need. So that's that's that's what I've done this year rightly or wrongly.

Ingrid  9:41  
It's so interesting Lesley because Christmas in the UK is so different than Christmas in Holland we have very different traditions because we also have St. Nicholas on the fifth of December. So a lot of the presents that children get they get from St. Nicholas on the fifth of December or in some other you European countries on the sixth of December. So we actually don't get presents over Christmas. But it changed when I was young, I got presents from St. Nicholas. But when we got older, we didn't do that. And we put some presents under the Christmas tree. So we then would unwrap them on Christmas Day. But now because of course, I've lived abroad for many, many years. And in the beginning, when we were living in Ireland, we had to fly in. So we were like, we can't bring any presents. And now although we drive from London to Holland, I still have cut down on the presents more and more, because I just don't want to give presents for the sake of giving presents. So I will bring, of course, maybe some chocolates from a mom or nice bottle of wine from a sister things they can use. So we've also agreed with my sister now to not do presents for the children, because we just, I hardly even know what to buy for my own kids, let alone and that my kids are very low key. They're not very demanding. And also they don't want a lot. And let alone they don't know what her children want. So we've actually now agreed to focus on experiences and not on presents, and I don't feel my Christmas is has gotten worse, because we don't do presents at all.

Lesley  11:13  
I think things are changing. And it'll be interesting to see how things go over the next few years really as well. When to

Ingrid  11:18  
definitely. So yeah, so I think things are definitely changing. Are there any other traditions that you have over Christmas, Lesley?

Lesley  11:25  
Yeah, I think the most special one to me is on Christmas Eve, we all sit together as a family and read the book twice the night before Christmas, it takes five minutes. But my kids don't feel as if it's Christmas until we've done that. So even though they're off to the pub, as soon as we read it, we definitely all gather together and do that. And I think as soon as that becomes disbanded, and absolutely well, because I'm sure Luke will choose to do something different over the next couple of years with his girlfriend and things like that. I just think it'll be quite sad, really, because that tradition began but then traditions come in other ways. Don't the further down the line. But to me, that's a very special thing that we do a Christmas just sit together. And that's before we go out sort of the normally go out for dinner or for drinks on Christmas Eve. So finding the book ready for Christmas is always an important part of the preparation. Yeah, it's

Ingrid  12:11  
interesting, because we've now for years and years, have gone out with our best friends for dinner on Christmas Eve and we just happened to go to the same restaurant as well. So we'd I don't think we even have to book a table because they know we're coming on Christmas Eve. And my sister actually moved house recently, she's now actually living across from a restaurant, which is really, really helpful. Because she's actually having two kids for us already for the gosh, the past decade, I believe 12 years, maybe we don't even have to ask each other. Are we gonna go out for a meal? No, no, we're, let's see if so we're going and I love that it's such a highlight of the year, for me,

Lesley  12:48  
definitely is splitting that time, isn't it between family and friends. And that's why it's important to do the preparation. It's it always sounds a little bit boring. And I prepare, prepare, prepare, but that what that means is that you can really enjoy your time on the day, which takes me into a decision I made a few years ago about food. And we tend to have about somewhere between 15 and 20 people depending on who's here on Christmas Day, which isn't what people were do get everybody sat down all at once. So it did do it in one sitting. And what I was finding is that I spent so much time in the kitchen preparing things on Christmas Eve and on Christmas Day. And then I found a restaurant in sale that do take away Turkey. And so basically they prepare everything. So they prepare the roast potatoes, they parboil them, they put them in goose fat, and then they put the roll in these metal trays, and the turkeys a turkey crown. And so it comes completely pre prepared to the point of putting it in the oven. So everything's seasoned, everyone's got the herbs on it, the vegetables are kind of part done that kind of thing. So it's almost like getting it from a supermarket but a little bit more and it's restaurant quality. And if I look at the pricing of it, I couldn't do that dinner for that much money as well. So I've done that for years you know the food quality is excellent, it means that I can spend the whole of the morning that we're going to talk about in a minute in terms of what we do on Christmas morning with my family come back at two o'clock literally I can walk through the door here at two o'clock with absolutely nothing done and by 430 the foods on the table which is you know because I want to spend my day enjoying myself with my family I don't want to spend it cooking I don't you know but then I know there's loads of people out there who get great joy out of doing that and but I'm I'm not a provider of food you know I do do that and I don't mind hosting at all I'd rather have people in my house I really want to enjoy it I was fit I'm I'm a bit pathetic really my friends come around for dinner you know if I have to host like we have we have book club here and have to do that you have to do the wine and nipples all night and you're up and down, up and down. And I was thinking I'm missing out you know on the the gossip that's going on like that. So I'm not the best person. I'm great and provided things but not the best that I can that, you know, some people just love doing that don't know. So I decided that a long time ago from a financial perspective, from a quality perspective, because they are a restaurant, they can cook it much nicer than I would. And also from a time perspective, that's what we're doing it absolutely works for me.

Ingrid  15:16  
What a great idea. I mean, if that option is there, and you can do that and that way you enjoy Christmas as well. It sounds like a complete Win Win Win to me so fantastic. Yeah, we do it completely different so we have a nice breakfast that my sister and then we always go and visit my dad who's been in a home for the last Gosh, who five, six years probably already so we go and see him there for lunch. We normally like a bread table. So different kinds of bread with different kinds of cold meats and we have coffee and tea and different orange juice and and we do that in the home. So a mum books that way in advance, she books a table in the restaurant, and we consume that for a while and visit him and because that's all he can cope with. We then leave him there because he can't leave the home because he's in a wheelchair as well. Then we take my mum back to my sister's house, and that's where we do Christmas dinner. And we normally try to have like a three or four course dinner with the kids so something of like ham and melon as a starter and then it depends what we do as a main but it's normally I love fish I love for soul. So I was asked my mom could you please buy some soul for me because my husband can prepare it really really well. So he's the fish cooker of the day on Christmas Day. And then there's normally a meat option as well because some of us in the family don't like fish so there's some boys taking not

Lesley  16:39  
not a traditional in Poland because I

Ingrid  16:43  
know a lot of us eat game so deer or boar or my little cousin said the other day can we have a turkey became happy bro he must have seen a photo of a turkey and thought that looks really good. So we're now fun to some front find something meat in paste puff pastry because they really enjoy that as well. And then we'll do a dessert. So my so normally my mum and my sister we my I cannot get involved in I would love this I would love that. But message then books the slot, she builds the shopping list of what needs to be bought my mum gets certain parts of the meal that she gets at a specialist shop. So she brings that along as she normally chooses the wine because what because she's got a really nice wine taste my mum, she normally shorts, the wine and because we travel, we can't really bring anything so we tried to help as much on the day with laying the table and clearing up and cooking helping with cooking and all of those things. Yeah,

Lesley  17:41  
that's nice. Sounds like a really nice, nice day and, and similar to refactors in the in the morning on Christmas morning after we've got open up and presents. Then we go around to my father in law's and the whole family's there. So we open presents there have this tradition of bacon sandwiches that my father in law, so he's, he's at. So he basically cooks bacon sandwiches all morning seems quite me basically because he's so good at it, you know, I mean, so we'll just leave him to it. And so we always have bacon sandwiches there in the morning, which does not sound very Christmassy, but it's our Christmas tradition as well. But then it's really nice. And we can just stay there and chill. And we do another present opening now for different things and, and then come back here really, the interesting thing is as well is that Boxing Day is my eldest son's birthday. So we tend to then go all the way through from Christmas day into a kind of party for his birthday. So we are definitely up until the small hours on Boxing Day morning, doing a bit of a double celebration.

Ingrid  18:36  
Wow. No, I think normally Christmas Day at about 12. That's us all done. Because also because on Boxing Day we go to the in laws. So we leave because my family is on the western part of Holland around Amsterdam, that whole area. And then my in last November are on the eastern part of Holland. So on Boxing Day that says after breakfast, we do a big tidy up. We've stayed at my sister probably for four or five days. So we help tidy up. We put away the beds, we help who for the house, and then we pack our bags, packed the car and around 12 We depart for my in laws. We now have the tradition that we go to the bowling alley we meet at two o'clock at the bowling alley. And we actually play bowling with all of us with my husband's brothers, their girlfriends and wives and their kids and we just it's again, it's become a tradition and everybody loves it. So Boxing Day we start with bowling we're back around for 15 and then we normally do like a hot plate dinner. So you grill your own meats and your own veg on like a hot plate and everybody loves it. So

Lesley  19:40  
the really interesting thing about if you talk to your children as they get older about Christmas, what they say is bacon sandwiches at granddad's house, read in the book, going out for dinner with family and friends and night before you know the party in the evening. They're not talking about the presents that they got. So it's interesting really isn't Net Worth people remember. So it is all about experiences and not stuff and traditions. I think that still it hinges around this present given. So I think that's decreasing less and less. And one of the things that I wanted to mention actually, I seem to recall when I lived in the States, that Boxing Day is not a thing in America. Do you know that? I'm sure I remember getting asked what Boxing Day was all about? And I can't really remember. Can you? It's Boxing Day thing in Holland.

Ingrid  20:31  
No, yeah, we caught we don't call it Boxing Day. We call it second Christmas Day. And of course, so what a lot of people in the Netherlands do they swap every year. So they go for the Christmas Day to one side of the family. And then Boxing Day, the other to the other part of family friends. And then the around they swap. So both family but in my in my family, because my husband's parents used to work in a church. So they always had to work on Christmas day to do the service and helping the church and do the candles and do the coffee's and all of that. So they could knit we could never go to them on Christmas Day. So we always went to them on Boxing Day. I know they retired now. But we everybody knew what they were doing. So we thought you know why change it? So my sister in law also goes to her parents on her on Christmas Day. Because we go to boxing day to the in laws, because and it works brilliantly. So we never have to haul where are we? Who's going where and what is, you? Know, it's it's worked. So we just thought Why change a winning formula? Yeah, exactly that

Lesley  21:34  
exactly that. So yeah. But you know, just as we're chatting, it's just, we're sat here you were the Christmas hat and me with my elf hat. You know, thinking about what's coming. And it is lovely, you know, and you can, and it can get so difficult with all of the things that you've got to do and all of the chores that you've got to do. And all the presents you've got to buy and the queues and all that kind of stuff can sometimes really detract from what it's all about Carnot. And so I think it's really important to get that bit right, if you can, not everyone's just lucky to be around family and friends on Christmas Day. So there's an awful lot of sadness around Christmas as well. And we need to be mindful of that, too. Yeah,

Ingrid  22:11  
I think so. And I mean, you know, I'm hoping for people who can't be with their family or for Christmas, maybe you can set a certain time on Christmas day that you know, you want to zoom with your family or you want to do a Skype call or your whatsapp or FaceTime or whatever. So you can still feel that you're close to your to your nearest and dearest whoever that is, it can be your best friends. Maybe your best friends are the most important people in the whole wide world. Maybe you can spend time with them. Or even if even if it's on a phone call. In the end, I think Christmas is all about spending time virtually or in person with the people you love.

Lesley  22:46  
Definitely, definitely. So that's what my Christmas looks like. Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.

Ingrid  22:53  
I know me too. I always go out for a meal with my girlfriends as well. So same that's the night before Christmas Eve, same tradition. We normally try and go ice skating the day after Boxing Day. And then we really really have to go back home back to the to London to celebrate New Year's. So yeah, but I'm so grateful for the traditions. I'm grateful for the time of year. And I want to I also wanted to share that actually because we don't have we weren't going to talk about prisons and we don't do the presence at all within my family as you might have gathered. But so my mum has now said what she read it if we want to do an activity together. So one year we went ice skating in Amsterdam next to the Russian Museum. One day we went to a music concert this year, we're going to see the Chinese state Circus which is supposed to be amazing in a massive show in The Hague. So we've already booked tickets for that. So we because my mum doesn't know any more what to buy either for the kids. So we all go and do something. And it's just we're all the kids are looking forward to it. And they're not even sad. They're not going to get presents because they'd rather spend time with each other. Definitely, definitely no board games lots of Andy what what's done to get a tradition as well is to do we we party just dance. Oh my gosh, Lesley, I get far too fanatical about it. I'm like thinking I could still move like I'm a 20 year old and I'm trying to do all the moves with the with the Wii controller in my hand because you can get certain points if you do it right. And like the kids are like doing so little effort and they're always outscore me and I'm like, panting and the sweat on my forehead thinking, I'm doing all the moves. Right? Why am I wearing this?

Lesley  24:33  
I know it brings out it definitely brings out the competitive side of us, doesn't it? That's all from me. We thought it was just you know, we're just chilling out Christmas. No one's gonna be doing any decluttering this week. So let's just look forward to the holidays. Let's take a chance to think about what's important to us. So we just thought we'd keep it simple. Christmas is coming. No one's really going to be doing any decluttering so we just thought we'd chat and chat and chat and chat as is our wants. about what are Christmas looks like? So from me a very Merry Christmas, and we'll see you next week.

Ingrid  25:06  
Yes, thank you so much. Let's see. That's it for this episode, listeners. We hope you've enjoyed hearing about our Christmas and about what we are up to over the holiday season. And maybe you're inspired to think about how your Christmas looks like and think about what you do enjoy. And maybe you've realised you know what, if there's one or two things I actually don't enjoy doing. I'm going to declutter them from my schedule next year, because this year, I'm committed to do them, but maybe next year, I'm going to do it differently. That is fine as well. Have a wonderful Christmas. Have a great time. We'll see you next week. For our recap of 2019 podcasts. We want to share with you everything that we've done over the year. Have you signed up for our random acts of decluttering challenge starting on January 6, you can find it on declutter hub.com forward slash random dash x dash Jan for now. Thank you so much for listening today. If you've enjoyed this episode, or if you enjoyed this podcast, just leave us a review. We'd love to hear what you think about our podcast and tell us what you think about the show. If you'd like to get more tips and advice, please follow us on social media. We are on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook as at declutter hub, and we have a lively supportive Facebook group where we check all things clutter, you can search for the declutter hub community, we'd love to see you there. Take a look at members dot declutter hub.com To find out more about our membership. If you don't want to miss the next weekly episode, subscribe to the declutter podcast on Apple podcast, Spotify, Stitcher, and iHeartRadio. And it will pop into your notifications each Friday. See you next time.

Outro  26:50  
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