Episode 373 – Getting Intentional with Gifting for the Festive Period

Ingrid: When it comes to the holiday season, it's all too easy to get swept up in a last minute rush. This inevitably leads to gifting under pressure, overspending, and feeling frazzled. But what if we told you that being intentional with your planning now could make all the difference? In this episode, we're talking about the benefits of thinking ahead, especially when it comes to gift giving, from setting boundaries to budgeting and starting conversations early.

We're diving into how a little forethought now can transform the season ahead.

Ingrid: Well, hello Lesley. I am a little bit worried. It's only September and we're talking about the C words. Christmas, this gift, the, the season of the party season, the, we've got it all coming hurdling towards us, but it's September. I'm still in like my holiday mode. And why are we talking about this so early?

I know it's late, but it's early. You know what I mean?

Lesley: I do. Yeah. Well we're in good company, aren't we? 'cause it's everywhere in the shops at the moment. Do you know

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: So, people are obviously, if it is in the shops, people are obviously buying it, right? So, yeah, I know it's early. It's definitely too early for me. But I think there's a lot of people every year.

'cause we have these conversations. We do certain podcasts every year. And we have the same conversations and people are like, I'm done. And wrapped already. You're like, oh, whatever. So yeah, I don't really want to talk about it if I'm honest 'cause it is a little bit early. But I know that being for and thinking about things early is gonna stand you in good stead going forward. So for the points of doubt, we're talking about all the holidays that are coming up probably around December time.

Ingrid: Yep.

Lesley: Christmas and Hanukkah and all of the, all of the above that we celebrate. And most of those celebrations, whatever they are, and whatever it is that you celebrate, come with gift giving for other people. Now, I think it's fair to say that things have changed quite a bit over the years and people have got a little bit more mind of gift giving, but we wanted to really drill down and give you a, a little few, a few of our thoughts, ands then some very specific examples of. kinds of gifts that would fit a clutter-free desire, right.

Ingrid: I know, I know, and I do, I, you know, I love planning Lesley, so although it does seem early, it is so nice to start to think about things already now. And I think gifts is, is a massive part of the holiday season. And one thing that people really. Get worried about because you're thinking about the money and the time to go shopping and the thinking of things and, and how, when, when we gonna wrap it and is it gonna arrive on time and have I got the latest gadget and what is this year's thing that's going to be the hit, at the end of the year?

So all these things, so being prepared can definitely help you. But yes, I completely agree with you. Lots more people are now thinking about, okay. I'm just, I just don't wanna just run to the shops and just grab some stuff off the shelves. I don't want to get another pair of socks and another random book or just, I don't know, a set of books of shorts or smelly that I don't even know if people like and need.

There is more thought coming into it and, and I think that's really, really nice to see.

Lesley: I think it's just, you know, I think people are realizing that people. What makes the world go round? And it's interesting actually, 'cause this morning before we even decided we were gonna talk about this today, my, I've got two nephews. They both live in London now, and it's one of their birthdays tomorrow and another one in a month's time.

And so, we kind of do a bit of a money handover, you know, for their gifts. Then it's becoming a bit impersonal. They're a lot older now. They're not kids, you know, they're kind of, well one of 'em is gonna be 30, right? So kind of. Should I just be sending money? And so I just sent him a text this morning and said, you know, Steve, and I'll be in London.

Why don't we just all go out for dinner and we'll, we'll pay for dinner. And isn't that a nicer thing to do than to just hand over That's probably not enough to be that meaningful for them,

Ingrid: Mm-hmm.

Lesley: the evening together. So it's that kind of principle, isn't it? That the money, much as I'm sure you can buy something with it, but it's not that special is it?

Where we're spending an evening together is.

Ingrid: Yeah. Yeah, I think, my mom has already done this for years and years and years. So of course when the kids were little, they did get, you know, their presents with center class or with, Christmas. But the last kind of, gosh. Wow, it must be at least seven or eight years. It kind of got to a point where you're like, you just don't know what to buy for them anymore because the stuff that they want is either out of budget or, you know, it's just you have to clock together multiple people to do this, and she has already then, and then at the time said, listen, I'd rather do something nice together as a family.

For Christmas, and it can be bowling, it can be going to the circus, it can be ice skating, it can be, I don't know, a music concert and then a dinner afterwards. So we've been really cr starting to get more and more creative in the different things that we, are doing. And that's kind of her present to all of us, which is lovely because.

We, of course, are here in the UK and all of my family's in the Netherlands. So it's really nice to be able to do something fun and spend that time together. So I, I am completely all about, you know, not stuff, but more kind of experiences. I really absolutely love that.

Lesley: I mean, our house is definitely a bit of a, a kind of 50 50, so I'm not gonna lie, we've come from a a, a tradition. Of particularly in Steve's family. for lots of different reasons. It just evolves that way and, and all that kind of stuff. And Steve kind of follows that on a little bit as well. So is quite quite the thing here, but at least 50% of the stuff that goes out is. Experiences now. 'cause we all go to gigs together, to all different things, but they're, they're kind of thoughtful and Steve's very thoughtful about the gifts that he gives. for, him and I, we certainly are like, let's go away together and let's do that instead. Or let's go for dinner together.

We don't really buy each other things anymore unless they are practical things, that we have that conversation. But I think it's important to. Just see the evolution of time, you know, to realize, you know, when I was talking about my two nephews there, you know, to realize that what's the point in that now that they're like coming up 30?

Do you know what I mean? Like

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: that helpful? But I still want to recognize that, you know, they're my two nephews. I've not got loads of nephews and nieces still want to recognize it. I still want to do the right thing, you know? but it's nice to spend time with 'em because that's not something we do that often.

So I think it's,

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: change and evolve and I think, you know, for you, Ingrid. always, you know, since class is a kind of, I think it's a bit of a different beast almost, isn't it? Than Christmas? It's not quite so consumer, dare I say. I mean, you know better than I do. Yes, there are gifts given, but it tends to be on a smaller scale.

I think generally, even if you don't go down, this experiences route is at a

Ingrid: Mm-hmm.

Lesley: than the, than the sort of Christmas gift giving. So would you say that there's not as many gifts generally in Holland over that period than there are here? What would your take on that be?

Ingrid: whew. Good question. I think center class really, I think, the gift giving, I think kids do get a lot of gifts in class, but maybe not as many as what I've seen here. Here, it seems like a whole, a whole other level. but they do get lots of gifts from center class, but it's really focused around younger children.

So as soon as they kind of. I dunno, because we're, people might be listening in the car to this podcast, but as soon as the kids get a little bit older, then it more goes to like a surprise when you kind of have to make something yourself and make a poem and there's so it changes. And then when we were in our teens, we kind of changed more to a couple of gifts with Christmas because we.

Found that more of a more kind of a celebr family celebration that we got together at that time. So it's really evolved over time as well. Like now we don't do presents anymore with my sister and everything because we're like, I don't even know what I would buy for you. You know what I mean? It's, it's, it's really changed.

And also even within our own family, of course my children get presents for their birthdays, but even. When my husband and I have birthdays, we don't, we rather go out for a meal or to the cinema or do something fun, an activity or anything like that. So we don't really do gift giving as you know, because you are a very good gift giver, and I have to really put lots of thought into stuff because I'm just not in that mindset anymore.

So, yeah, I, I, I really.

Lesley: yeah, I think it's, sorry. Sorry, Ingrid. I think it's really. It's interesting evolution, and this is why we want to talk about this today because

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: some of these conversations are difficult to have and that's why we're talking about this in September because it's really important to.

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: you are thinking it, other people might be thinking it as well. So I think it was about five years ago now, where in our sort of wider family, not my own individual family, but you know, brothers and sisters and things like that, Nieves and nieces and nephews, we went down a secret sun route. We all get together on Christmas morning and so we went down the secret Santa route.

So there's probably, I would say nine 10. 12 maybe in the group, and you only buy for one person, and so then you, because you don't have to buy 12 gifts. You put more thought into the one that you do buy, you've got a slightly higher budget than you would ordinarily have if you were buying all of those. And now that all, all at most of the people within the group are adults, we do something separate from my little nephew who's only 11. But you know, 'cause we still want to do the thing for him 'cause he is still a child, but he still wanted to be part of Secret Santa as well. So there was a time where we were all giving him gifts separately. We were then doing Secret Santa amongst the adults and he was like, I wanna be part of a secret Santa. So he gets double. So he is, he's all good. But I think it's about having that conversation. And I remember back thinking it's quite a difficult subject to to, to broach really, because people have their own opinions on it.

But you, someone needs to be brave and go, you know, all about communication within families, within wider families. I know mine. My two best friends, they do secret Santa within their family now. I mean my kids are not quite ready for that. We have broached to subjects and they're like, why would we do that? They're definitely chips off the old block when, when it comes to stuff with their dad. but I think, you know, I know they do that and so there's maybe six or seven of them in the family and they do a secret Santa amongst their own individual family. 'cause again, they're all adults now. And so I think, but it takes that one person to have that conversation and say. Why don't we do something like this to cut down cost, to cut down on excess, and actually it's really enriching and it's a nicer thing to do than just

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: gifts out.

Ingrid: Yeah, I think it can be. I think the whole gift giving can be really problematic within families. You know, everybody's got different values, everybody's got different budgets, everybody's got different things that they find important. So, you know, you've got maybe one part of the family who lives in a tiny apartment, and it is like.

Oh my gosh, I'm dreading this whole, festive season because of all the, I know all the stuff that's coming in, and others might be thinking, oh, I, I know I've got a bigger house, but money is really tight at the moment and I really don't want to spend it. But we've always done it this way, so I know the costs are gonna be, you know, racking up on, on my credit card bill that I'm gonna have to pay off next year.

So. I think different people coming from different ways, right? Other people might be, but I'm a lot more environmentally friendly now, and I don't want to have all this new stuff. I'd rather you go to a charity shop or vintage or reuse and, and, and reduce and, and I don't want all this stuff to come into my house, so.

People start to have within families have different things they find important and how do you get that all aligned and, and, and talked about without anybody being like, but we've always done it this way and getting all upset because people love the tradition as well of things. So it's, it, it, it sounds easy, you know, oh, just do secret Santa or do you know, but you have to really.

Lesley: Yeah.

Ingrid: But a lot of people, people's opinion, you know, you've got the grandparents, you've got the, the, the, the, the, the adults. You've got the children. Everybody might want something different. Everybody's got different budgets and and size of houses. So there's a lot of things that kind of need to align. And it's not only in the festive season, I mean that's what we're talking about now, but it's also with.

You know, house warming gifts and baby showers and birthday presents and same kind of thing, but that's why we're talking about it now in September. So you can kind of go, what do I want? What's important for me? And how can I get the ball rolling possibly within my family to kind of go, Hey guys, how are we doing this whole festive gift giving situation this year?

Because last year. I was really, you know, I have like three cupboards and I got five cupboards of stuff, and I've got a problem here, so how are we gonna do it?

Lesley: I think it's how it is trying to present the idea as if it's for the wider good, which ultimately it is, you know, to me, from a budget perspective, from a stuff perspective, environmental, there's no downside of buying less. Is there really? But then

Ingrid: Mm-hmm.

Lesley: people who. Enjoy giving as well. Some people get great joy from giving, so you can't leave

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: out. But I think it's not about about presenting it as a fair, complete situation, it's

Ingrid: Mm-hmm.

Lesley: opening the discussion, the lines of communication in the first instance and saying, A lot of people I know are doing this kind of thing. How do we all feel about it? You know, stick it on a group chat, maybe, you know, all of those kind of things. We communicate and decide about how you wanna do it, and you do need to do it early, you can guarantee as well, if you raise this in, you know, where we're now, sort of September time, know, if you raise this, people will have already bought those gifts. Some people will have bought gifts for

Ingrid: Mm

Lesley: already, and so it might be, you know what, not for this year, but let's park it and think about it in 2026, for example.

So.

Ingrid: mm.

Lesley: really important to think about it and to not be scared to break traditions and to put your own point across in terms of the way that you want to do it. because

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: surprised that people, I was, I was the one who broached it in our family and, Now people absolutely love it and it's added this extra dimension into Christmas morning that people absolutely love. 'cause we do it as a

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: so nobody knows who's bought the other person. Then you can make it into a little game of guessing gamers who bought that and stuff like that. So it's really nice. Anyway, so. But

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: this is all very kind of hypothetical, isn't it, Ingrid? And so we were like, people would be like, okay, so if you wanna do a secret Santa, if you wanna buy something a little bit more intentional for a child, an adult, a partner, a, a parent, how do you do that?

What kind of ideas have you got? 'cause I'm stumped and I'm just literally gonna go and buy a body wash from boots. So give me some ideas like dealing with, and so that's what we're gonna do after the break.

Ingrid: Hi everyone. Welcome back. After your, after your break we are chatting about intentional gift giving and we talked before the break a lot about why it can be really helpful to be more. Mindful in what gift you buy, but we also realize that a lot of people might be stumped like, okay, but okay, if I don't wanna get socks or books, shorts or a body wash from boots like Lesley said, what am I gonna do then?

So let's now talk about. Ideas of stuff you can buy because it doesn't always have to be stuff. It can be indeed, an experience. It can be something that you can eat or drink. It can be, a donation to a charity. It can be, time that you want to spend together and do something fun. So there's loads of, loads of suggestions.

So. If we're thinking about intentional gifts, then for kids, Lesley, what could we do instead of buying them another toy?

Lesley: Yeah, I think it's really gonna be, and, and this is where budget is difficult and it depends on who you are. So there's things like, you know, I, so, so Steve and I, for my nephew that I was talking about before, who's, 11? So we always take him to the theater, but that's. Not cheap, you know? So taking him to the theater is probably more than we would spend if we were buying a

Ingrid: I.

Lesley: Do you know what I mean? So you need to think about that as well. 'cause there is a cost, like it's so expensive, isn't it? To go to the theater, depend on where you go. And so it might be, you might have to join together to do something like that. But I know that he absolutely loves it. But it would, that kind of thing, going to the cinema. You know, there are loads of free things as well. So, Steve took him one night when I was away, took him to a free, theater performance that was in like an art center in Manchester, days out of the zoo, if that's your thing. At museum, there's loads of free museums. Just 'cause it's free doesn't mean to send that it's not got value.

Right. And so this is, and you could, you could sort of piggyback that onto something else. So you could go to a free experience and then go. you know, a meal out or something, or an ice cream or a do you know, whatever that might be. So like a day out to do something or a trip into the countryside.

There's loads of stuff that's free, all the stuff that costs money, but it's more about that day out, spending quality time with that child. I.

Ingrid: Yeah. Yeah, I know. You know, and it doesn't have to be an all singing and dancing, you know, we've got here a, a locally, a a, a farm where you can feed the goats. Oh my gosh. Kids love it. You know what I mean? And you, and you, the only thing you have to buy is buy some of the, the, the, the food that you can, are allowed to.

You can't just randomly bring your own food and give that to the goats, but you have to buy the, the, the feed on the farm. But that can be fantastic indeed with an ice cream, bring a blanket, bring a football, and you've got a whole day, a lovely day out. you also could go kind of more maybe in the direction of Okay.

They want to try a new hobby or they wanna try a new class, but they've never done it. So maybe they want, or maybe they wanna do have swimming lessons or they want to do TaeKwonDo or tennis. Of course, I would say tennis, Lesley, or they would do wanna learn te or they wanna play musical instrument and they want, would love for you to hire the musical instrument instead of immediately buying it because you don't know if they like it yet.

so those are also kind of things you can, you could do.

Lesley: Yeah, definitely. I. Yeah. You know, and again, those kind of things, again, if you're talking about a term of stuff might be something as a family or as a group of individuals that you've clubbed together because you know, classes dance lessons and swimming lessons, you know, they're not cheap, right? So it's gonna probably be more than you would ordinarily spend.

So you need to be creative with that. I think you know as well, just jumping back to the kind of experiences thing. I think it's, it would be lovely, you know, in a family sometimes, and how lovely is it to be able to go out with little kids and all your family, but sometimes it's really special to be able for a child, just to be able to have one day where they're just with their mom or one day where they're just with their dad, or extend it out one day where they're just with their uncle or auntie or cousin, you know, what older cousin, anything like that. So to just have a, that. gift is really about the one-on-one time rather than the experience. Do you know what I mean? So we can

Ingrid: Mm-hmm.

Lesley: that as well, which is lovely. 'cause things like that are priceless, you know? And people, you

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: that

Ingrid: Okay.

Lesley: we spend too much time. Well, no, we do not spend too much time.

We spend a lot of time having to do things together as a family for obvious reasons. But sometimes it is very special when you can just spend that one-on-one time with your, child, if it's your child or somebody else's child. So, yeah, think

Ingrid: Yeah, first.

Lesley: well.

Ingrid: Yeah. I, we were also thinking about what, and I've seen that with my clients as well, that you can get some sort of subscription that then gets sent to the person's house and the children can like build. Like a sciencey thing or build something like that. You know, they, they can build it themselves.

So they get all the little pieces in the books, but they're not, they're really doing it and building it and using their fine motor skills. They're learning something about it. it can be sometimes with light or with, with, wind, you know, so it's really interesting. So it gets more, a bit almost like a learning.

That they can kind of later use in school as well, but in a, in a more playful way. So that can be super nice.

Lesley: Yeah, and I think a lot of people I've seen now people do it on a sub, on a subscription, don't they? Ingrid? So

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: don't buy a toy that's about that. It's actually a subscription and there's some elements of building on the process, I think, you know, like. It, it evolves over time, that kind of thing. So I think things like that, subscriptions are super cool to do. And then obviously, you know, I've talked before, we've got theater tickets, we've got cinema gift cards, you know, doesn't, it doesn't always need to be like, here's a thing. It can be, you know, a, an element of a theater ticket for example, that somebody else can put extra money to. So those are the kind of things that we were sort of thinking about really for kids. you

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: Audible, you know, is good as well. Credit's on Audible for kids. And so instead of giving them actual books, kids are very digital these days, so do think, you know, and sometimes we feel like they need a tangible book and so, but it'd be lovely to do audible credits and things like that. yeah.

And then it might be just, you know, there, there are some, there's so many cool like ideas out there as well. Ingrid isn't there? That, and you have to, sometimes we have to wait for them to pop up on our Instagram feed to go, that's a really good idea, don't we? Like, we don't. Know about these things until we

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: them.

I mean, Etsy in this country is a really good way of finding more unusual, gifts, Etsy, and not on the High Street and stuff like that, where they think outside the box a little bit, don't they, with the gifts. So that'd be a

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: to, not necessarily to buy, but to find ideas.

Ingrid: Yeah. I, and one other thing also popped into my head while we're not talking about this, because I've seen it in one of my clients' houses, that one of her children actually, got given kind of the, adoption of like an animal.

Lesley: Yeah.

Ingrid: they're like, so, and then of course when you be, when you join it.

They get like a tiger, a fluffy toy sent at home, but then the rest is like a picture of the tigers and where they live and their habitats and they kind, you kind of sponsor an animal. Oh gosh. The kids love that as well because they've got like posters and, and they, and they learn a little bit as well.

And they're like doing good for the environment, which of course, is, is super important as well. So you can really, you know, just. Have a little think around, ask around, put it in, you know, Google or, you know, just cool gifts and, and all the ideas can come to you, but it, it, there, there's so much more than just stuff.

Lesley: Absolutely. we've done kids, which. Might be easier.

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: we're moving on to partners, which are notoriously difficult to buy for, particularly if they're of the male variety. And so

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: they're really, really difficult to buy for. So Steve and I are already down this route, to be fair. but what do you get for your partner?

Ingrid: nobody like on like he gets a card like the poor, poor ya, poor ya. He gets like a card team. He's lucky he bless him. He eat breakfast in, you know, like a cup of coffee in bed. You know what I mean?

Lesley: I think what, what, you know, when we talk about opening up those lines of communication and having these difficult conversations early, I think I might be, might be trying to introduce the idea that you might actually give your long, suffer suffering husband something to recognize the hard graft that that man puts in throughout the course of the year,

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: than a cup of coffee or in a card. Like, come on, you do something

Ingrid: No, we, no, we do go out for dinner normally, which we, you know, which we enjoy, or the cinema or something like that. But yeah, I, I honestly, he doesn't want anything. I wouldn't know, I mean. I dunno

Lesley: I

Ingrid: if, if, if, if

Lesley: but I love getting things. I don't think, I think that's a complete cop. How He doesn't want anything, honestly. Who need, who,

Ingrid: no, but I mean,

Lesley: who of our generation needs anything? We don't need anything. We get to a

Ingrid: yeah.

Lesley: want want anything, but we

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: things because it's about the thought. It's about the

Ingrid: Hmm.

Lesley: behind it, isn't it? So

Ingrid: Yeah. Yeah.

Lesley: now. Young's gonna get something thoughtful. for to class or Christmas this year. you know, yeah, you said we go out for dinner, but that's not for Christmas. You just go out for dinner. So it needs to

Ingrid: Yeah,

Lesley: special thing.

Yeah. You know, you know, just 'cause you go to the cinema a couple times a year, I'm not having that as your Christmas gift from beyond the poor guy. Right? So think about something that's nice that you would, but she feels guilty, look's got a guilty

Ingrid: I know.

Lesley: like, let's

Ingrid: I dropped a ball.

Lesley: and let it be

Ingrid: I dropped a ball here.

Lesley: Let it be known when the gift comes out and Jan's like super impressed where the idea came from.

Please. thing is, so for partners, you know, obviously there's more extravagant things where it's like a weekend away, a holiday, all of those kind of things, and you could say, you know what, instead of spending, you know, a couple hundred pounds on each other, which is not uncommon these days, we could get a weekend away for that on a flight over to wherever and have a really nice weekend for that.

Ingrid: Mm-hmm.

Lesley: there's also opportunities to do things together, you know, to do like a, a kind of immersive kind of wine tasting or a pottery class, or a cooking class or something like

Ingrid: Oh, oh, oh, oh. I've, I've, I've redeemed myself. I've redeemed myself.

Lesley: right.

Ingrid: we went, yeah, yeah, we did. the, the James Bond Day in London last year. That was, that was brilliant.

Lesley: that

Ingrid: That was brilliant.

Lesley: Maybe what you need

Ingrid: n.

Lesley: doing is storing some of these ideas that you do randomly through the year and presenting it as a gift over the festive period. And then you can cover both bases. So this is not about going out in the year. Ingrid, this

Ingrid: Yeah, but

Lesley: going,

Ingrid: would I, why would I, if I see something.

Lesley: morning and going, here's this thoughtful gift that I want to give you on this very special festive day. She's, oh, she's desperately trying to think about things that she's done with her husband in 2025. Oh.

Ingrid: but just, just to, just to clarify, I don't want gifts either, so I just, a bunch of flowers and a card I'm super happy with. So it's not that I'm high maintenance and I, I do, but I'm, I.

Lesley: If you

Ingrid: It's not, you know, it's,

Lesley: just think about your, for your 50th, your sister bought you a trip to Rome.

Ingrid: yeah.

Lesley: Venice.

Ingrid: The, Venice.

Lesley: Venice, right. Sorry,

Ingrid: yeah,

Lesley: It was, loved it. You loved it. So when

Ingrid: yeah.

Lesley: don't want gifts, I feel that you did like that gift.

Ingrid: I know. And my mom bought me a beautiful watch, which was, which was amazing as well. So, yeah. And of course, but I mean. I dunno. I don't know. I just,

Lesley: who's getting overlooked. And honestly, if there's

Ingrid: yeah.

Lesley: in your world that needs to be treated, it's that man. Honestly, the poor man. Jan, I'm here for you. I'm, I'm doing it for you. Right. She will give you something on since class on Christmas morning. I don't know which, but it is coming. Okay. So we've, we've made our points, different people, like

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: Ingrid's

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: of course, that she doesn't like gifts, even though she absolutely loves them. And so we're thinking about doing something nice. We're talking about experiences, we'll talk about

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: plays, going to accommodate again, you know. can get like comedy nights out there for like 10 pounds or you could pay 70 pounds, you know what I mean? For a comedy night. Not all of these things need to be super expensive. We're not talking about West End or Broadway shows for everything. There's loads of

Ingrid: Mm-hmm.

Lesley: of gray and different price points, and so have a think about that.

We've got things like adventure days, you know? Throwing maybe, maybe you could take ya that England, or he could take you, that might be more apt. Yeah. Get his frustration out that you've not actually bought him

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: for the last 20 odd years that you've been married. So Anyway. Or you can simply have date night so you can repackage up the things that you're already doing throughout the year as date night, which is obviously very special for a lot of couples, particularly couples with younger children.

Ingrid: Yes, exactly. Exactly. Lesley. Well, I, we had, we, we, we had another thought to maybe kind of give a voucher so people don't have to do chores. Maybe that will make you very happy. Like, I'm gonna give you a weekend off of to getting groceries on Saturday morning

Lesley: Yes.

Ingrid: to do any, any DIY or, or fixing stuff from me one weekend maybe.

Maybe I need to go on that kind of, Do that, that might be a good idea. Hmm.

Lesley: do this. I really, if, if so, actually, we're supposed to be talking to all lovely listeners. Actually, this is all for you, Ingrid. Yeah, all for you. tell you what is a really lovely thing as well, which is very special and completely free. It's putting together a playlist.

Ingrid: Hmm.

Lesley: At me like that for, so like a romantic playlist of things, like songs that mean a lot to each other, but it's a curated playlist. Have you've never done that.

Ingrid: No,

Lesley: Is there any, any anything going on? Any, any, any, any mutual appreciation whatsoever going

Ingrid: I.

Lesley: like English? Like what, what do you mean? that, the thing is, these people are madly in love with each other.

Do you know what I mean? And so maybe they don't need these, you know, these kind of, there's what's all the different, the, the, the, your love language and stuff. So I get that you don't need those, right? And so.

Ingrid: Yeah,

Lesley: fine. You

Ingrid: I'm like playlist. Geez. Y'all lost a completely different music than I do. We're going to, we're going to end up just completing what,

Lesley: joint music. You've not got any joint music. Like, you know when you

Ingrid: Hmm.

Lesley: in love when you were in your twenties and they're like, oh, I, this reminds me, or your wedding songs, or, do you know what I mean? Like

Ingrid: Okay.

Lesley: take you

Ingrid: I, I, I need, I obviously need to do work on this. This is, I'm like this complete, this podcast is completely, I'm like, I'm on the chopping block here,

Lesley: Okay, so

Ingrid: okay. Okay, okay. Okay.

Lesley: there. We'll leave it there because I like English, like gonna go sobbing into her,

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: into, into her. By the time she comes out. I like, done all of these things for my lovely husband.

Ingrid: Wow.

Lesley: Yeah, so actually this podcast is all about. Rekindling love and, companionship. Ingrid

Ingrid: Okay. I think we're good.

Lesley: right. so now let's, let's project forward 30 years, Ingrid, and let's think about gifts that we would potentially buy. For people that are a little bit older. Yeah. So maybe our

Ingrid: Hmm.

Lesley: grandparents, depending on what age we are. So people that are advancing in years, let's say, who might

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: different.

We're all different, right? And we like different things at different parts of our life. So let's talk about that kind of thing and that, we'll, we'll take you off the line here. Yeah. We've taken

Ingrid: Yeah, I'm like sweating. I'm honestly, I'm like, I'm like, and I, I completely ran into this whole thing, eyes wide open and I got like, what?

Lesley: But don't go and tell him tonight this is what she'll do now. She'll go and tell him, and she'll say, Jan, Lesley says that I'm really mean for not buying you a gift. You don't want any gifts to you. And Jan's gonna go, of course, I don't want any gifts because I'll love you anyway. And that's gonna be the end of that.

And she's gonna go, yeah, Y Jan said it was fine. I'm not getting him anything. And that's the end of that. That's what she'll do. I know, isn't it? She'll get the affirmation from Jan that it's okay, and then that'll be the end of that. Anyway, older people. Let's go.

Ingrid: Okay, so, okay, let me put in, in my mind, in, in my frame of mind, what would I buy, like my mom or my, Or my in-laws, I think they'll love a photograph. Like in, in either in a Frame or, oh, yeah. Yeah. So from I, I, I'm, Ooh, I'm getting, I'm, I'm good now. Again. So my mom, for my mom, I've actually, we have created a picture of, her and the five grandkids, like every couple of years apart. And we put them in the same order. And then, I've got it, on like a ca I have it put on a canvas, like a larger canvas. And she now has three of them all on the wall. She first one is like when they're little, very little in their like, and with like pink little leggings and all of that.

And then kind of a couple of years later when there are like more like. Beginning teens and then one we've got, I think from last Christmas where they're all like merging into kind of adulthood. It's so nice. It's so nice.

Lesley: you do the

Ingrid: I'm good at that.

Lesley: Yeah, exactly. You good at that. But the only thing is you've got to have a foresight for some of those things. So you almost need to think about it. It's either you're really lucky that you've got 'em in the same positions and stuff like that, or. You've got to think about it in advance.

You know, there's so many people who recreate photos, don't they? So this is a really lovely

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: for elderly parents where there's like a little picture of three kids, like my three kids for say, for example, and then they kind of go in the same positions, put similar clothes on, and do that as adults, which is super cute,

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: As a, as a gift for your parents and stuff. So yeah, thoughtful kind of. Recreations of photos or special meaningful photos throughout the years are always really lovely gifts for older people because they, they, you know, sometimes we we're not able to see, they're not able to see their grandchildren in particular as much as they would like to, particularly if they're living, you know, in a different country or out of state or whatever that might be, or a long way, way. So photos are

Ingrid: Yep.

Lesley: be a winner. and I know one of the things that was a big one, but this is going to the next level of cost is kind of a little bit of a lot of money, a little bit of a lot of money. That means a lot of money by the way, is to, which I did, was to try and create a legacy for them.

So for my dad and my father-in-law. I, went to a company called Story Terrace where they had their, they told their story to a ghost writer and they wrote their life story in a book, and that's really a gift to them. I think I would say that the actual. Process of going through it was the gift to them.

And it's nice for them to have the, the book, the gift is then to the rest of the family with the legacy Mm.

and the actual book, which obviously retains their life story for generations to come. So that's a kind of intergenerational thing, isn't it? But that's not, you're

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: that for 20 qui. I was gonna

Ingrid: No, I.

Lesley: that's not a 20 pound gift, but it's a lovely thing to do and also something that you could club together as a family to do. You know, if you've got a big family, extended family with 15, 16 people, which is not uncommon, and all those people put a little bit of money together, then you've got your legacy book, which is special in itself for the person to do and for you to receive at the end of it.

Ingrid: Yeah. What also might be really nice, and we did that many, many years ago when my dad was still alive. We actually went to a photographer to his studio and we had some, pictures taken with, you know, as whole as a family. So my mom and dad and my sister with our family, and me with the family. All of us.

And that was really nice. So you, they, she kind of, he or he, or she, I think it was, he positioned us like in front of a green screen and, and we all thought about the clothing that we were going to wear and things like that. That was really nice as well. And my mom really, really loved that, as, as you know, as having a picture o framed and, on her dresser in, in the, in the living room.

and it's, you know, it's still there. So she really, I think, I think. Photographs are so important. You know, whether it's on a digital frame or on a canvas or in a book or in a photo book that you can create from like, you know, and put it together. I, I, I did that for, so my, my sister turned 50 this year and I made it amazing.

it's called a Musical Hug, and I had to find. I found 80 pictures of us from the last, 10 years. So I did like a slideshow when she was 40, like with a projector and all of that. But this time I wanted to do it a bit different. So I chose her. I figured out what her favorite song was. I had my brother-in-law sing it and then.

While he was singing, the 80 pictures of the last 10 years between 40 and 50 were shown of us with the kids and her visiting London, and I'm going to see her over Christmas and our Easter weekends and all of that. And honestly, it's like. It makes me super emotional. So I, but I, it, it took a lot of time, but it was so wonderful and he made such an amazing, like, it's like a card that you get, you open it up and there's a little video screen and you can watch it.

Oh my gosh. It was honestly fantastic. So, yeah,

Lesley: Poor,

Ingrid: I, I.

Lesley: poor, poor, young, can't even get a playlist, but let's just leave it at that.

Ingrid: For my sister, on the other hand, I go all out. Okay. You underst Okay. I, I, point taken, point taken,

so I'm not completely rubbish and gift giving.

Lesley: exactly. It's just really about the thought, isn't it? And things like that.

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: know, just jumping back as well to, to the picture side of things, also what I've seen a lot of people do nowadays, which is a lovely thing to do, depending on whether or not this is something that makes your older person, let's call it tick, is to put like, Put their, faces on like a jigsaw puzzle. That kind of thing is really helpful as well. You know, so you,

Ingrid: Mm-hmm.

Lesley: almost like combines the two. So, Ingrid,

Ingrid: So you were like an older person, jigsaw you said.

Lesley: Yeah. So I think that jigsaw could really, that's a lovely thing to do depending on whether they wanna do jigsaws. Right. You know, just jumping back to the subscription side of things again, you know, getting 'em a subscription for crossword puzzles or, or anything like an app, you know, depending on whether they are technical and stuff, there's things like that that you can do. but I

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: you know, just to sort of finish off on the, One of the things that's really, with my father-in-law and my dad, is to try and set up, and this is a, is actually stuff to be fair, but it's like a smart speaker. So, because it's not something that the older generation, sometimes, not all, I'm not trying to say 'cause I'm not being ageist here, but some people are like.

Are not aware of what that can do. So a smart speaker, which can be help if you explain how to use it, and that they can use voice activation to play music, to get information, to get information about the weather. So something as simple as a, as a smart speaker. the, and the kind of training on that as well.

Obviously setting it up, getting it all set up and then, you know, training them on how to use it and how about, you know, things like that. Super helpful as well. But that is officially stuff, but it's very life enhancing stuff, particularly for somebody who's older who may not have thought of that as a possibility.

Ingrid: Yeah. And of course, you know, if the, if you know, they support a charity and they have throughout all of their lives, maybe a donation in, in, in their name for that course can be really helpful. But of course, also just taking your, your mom or your dad or your uncle or whoever it is. You know, out for a nice tea or, and, and a little chat or for a nice day out, or, you know, spending time with them.

And, yeah, I think that's for them the most important gift, right? Because life wishes by so fast and the only thing they want is to love nothing more than to spend some time with, with the people that they love. So, so, so many options

Lesley: I think

Ingrid: is not stuff.

Lesley: I think just to, to, to sort of, to, to finish this up. the best thing ever for a child, for a partner, for your mom and dad, grandparents, whatever that might be, is the gift of time, isn't it? You know, to spend time with people

Ingrid: Yeah. Yeah.

Lesley: nice things together is gonna surpass any of the other things that we've spoken about is so, so important to be able to spend that time whilst you can and spend that quality

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: So, yeah. So where have we got to? So we've completely berated Ingrid for her lack of thoughts about her gift giving to her lovely, long suffering husband. She's gonna have a little think about it. She's gonna discuss it and they're gonna come back and say, I don't wanna do So you don't, so don't go and say this to Jan.

Surprise him with something. Can we do, can we agree that.

Ingrid: I'll, I'll do my best.

Lesley: That means no for anybody. For anybody want it. That means absolutely not. Why change the habit of a lifetime? Okay, let's go Ingrid.

Ingrid: Yes. So listeners, I, well, I hope this, I hope this podcast has made you smile a little bit as well, but also has made you think about, okay, how do we do things here in our own family, in our larger family? What's happening, with, with the in-laws and things like that? What is important for us? Can we start to think about intentional giving?

Ourselves first, maybe with the children and with within our own families, and then see if we can kind of spread the word to, to others around us and think about it. Now there is still enough time to come up with things to maybe. Google some other ideas, maybe talk to other people about it and go, how do you guys do it with, with kind of the festive period?

Do you do gifts and what's happening in your family? Just to kind of give, you know, get the creative juices flowing. Don't listen to a word that I'm saying because apparently my, my poor husband is like no chance of ever receiving a gift in his life. But I really, really hope that, this has made you think.

And of course, you know, yeah. Tuning in. We appreciate you and see you next week..