Episode 383 – Don’t Buy, Ask Why – How to Break the Black Friday Cycle

Ingrid: Black Friday is back. Incredible discounts, limited time offers, and the pressure to buy quickly before you've had a chance to think it through. But at the Declutter Hub, we like to turn things on their head. Our annual don't buy Ask Why campaign is your reminder to pause and reflect before you buy. In this episode, we're exploring why we shop, what's really holding us back from taking action, and how understanding your clutter challenges can stop you buying more.

Ingrid: Hello and welcome listeners. I'm Ingrid.

Lesley: And I am Lesley. Now, if you are here for the very first time today, or you've been listening in for ages, we want to say a huge thank you we have a little favour to ask.

Ingrid: If you like what you hear, be sure to hit that follow or subscribe button. Share us with your friends or leave us a review. It makes a huge difference to us.

Well, hello and welcome listeners. Hello, Lesley. It is Black Friday. We have been bombarded, well not only today, but for weeks with emails that we need to buy stuff and then we've got, only Got Black Friday. We've got Cyber Monday the whole weekend. Buy buy buy. Sales sale discounts. Come and look at me.

Look at me. Wow. Lots and lots of messaging everywhere that we need to buy more things for our lives. Right, Lesley?

Lesley: Yeah, absolutely. I mean, you and I have got a slightly different, attitude towards buying, like you never buy anything and I do buy things basically. basically it. I think we are both aligned that we are intentionally shop. So you, you intentionally buy nothing ever. And, and I intentionally by quite a few things. Intentionally sometimes. Yeah. so so yeah, so I just wanted to put that out there that we do have

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: 'cause Ingrid might be like, you should never buy anything. And I'm like, ah, there's a few things got into my basket on Black Friday. But they were all things that I wanted, and that's the most important thing, I think. But I think this time of year we get caught up in a marketing frenzy. Don't we like,

Ingrid: Yeah. Yeah.

Lesley: because we're, we're looking for that bargain. You know, life's so expensive at the moment. If there are

Ingrid: Mm.

Lesley: need and there are things in life that we need, Ingrid, and there are things in

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: want as well, which is fine

Ingrid: Mm-hmm.

Lesley: There are things that we need to pre-plan with, like Christmas and all the festivities that are coming up. If we know that we're gonna get gifts for people, which is a completely normal part of life. it pays well to look to see whether those things are available on Black Friday, it's when we go for a browse, when those things pop into our inbox and we go, oh, oh, that is just too good to leave behind. We're conditioned at that time of year, I think. To buy is the bottom line,

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: I bet you that 60, 70% of people buy at least one thing that they weren't intending to buy on Black Friday. If they're of that

Ingrid: Mm.

Lesley: you know, if, I mean, I randomly said 60, 70 people, I have no basis whatsoever for that, for that, just putting it out there.

The

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: been checked here.

Ingrid: The, yeah,

Lesley: figures out of

Ingrid: the gut feeling. The gut feeling.

Lesley: Yeah, see,

Ingrid: Well,

Lesley: it's quite a

Ingrid: let's.

Lesley: really. 60 to 70 of people will buy one more thing. I feel like I'm like a newspaper article or something like, you know, a poll, what, what is it? Maury polls or whatever. But yeah, let's, let's scrap that whole idea of me randomly putting percentages on and just say, I bet there are people out there who buy more than they intended to.

Ingrid: Yeah. Well, and then you think that I'm bad at not buying. Wait till you mate him meet My husband, he actually goes to a li to the, to like the Greek weekly grocery show with a list. There's not one thing in that basket that's not on that list. And then I'm let loose in like li, like Lidl's or Tescos or something.

He's like. You just went in for like stringless beans and some granola. You've come out with 80 pound worth of stuff. And I'm like, well, because I saw some things that I know that are gonna come in. And he's like, well, well, well, that's, that's, that's why I do the weekly show. I'm like, okay. So I, there's even worse people in this house than me.

Lesley: I think you are getting more normal. You know, you are buying the odd thing every now and again. I think I'm, I, I must be rubbing off on you, Ingrid. I must be rubbing off on you. I think that's what it is. But

Ingrid: But you know, and I,

Lesley: a podcast, to talk about Black Friday and what a terrible, terrible

Ingrid: yeah,

Lesley: really.

So let's go for it. So

Ingrid: yeah,

Lesley: out our normal. Annual Black Friday campaign or Anti-Black Friday campaign, aren't we? Ingrid, which is

Ingrid: yeah. Yeah.

Lesley: Buy, ask Why. If you're on our mailing list, you're, listen, see a little bit about it popping into your inbox. And if you are not on our mailing list, why not?

Because all of the wonderful things that I create every week for you to inspire and motivate you, you need to see those things. But anyway, I digress. And so we, we like to turn it on its head a little bit and go. you know

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: all gonna buy things, right? That's just part of

Ingrid: Yeah, yeah.

Lesley: you to just

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: yourself a little bit and go, is this really helping me? Do I really need this? And if I'm in the middle of a decluttering journey, is it doing nothing but sabotaging my progress? And that's really important to us. Ingrid, isn't it?

Ingrid: Yeah, absolutely. And I think a lot of people you know who start like after the summer on their declogging journey, I think really Black Friday can really throw curve ball in all of the best intentions. Like I'd be really good, but now I'm seeing all these. Supposedly great deals and emails and things, and I'm like super tempted.

So all the good progress can just kind of go out of the window in one afternoon of shopping online. So we really want you to think about that. Let's indeed you are right. Let's, let's be realistic. We all need to buy stuff. Of course we do. But we want you to start shopping with intention because so many people have clutter in their homes.

Because one of the reasons is because they over shop. They just get tempted by all the offers, all the emails. They can't leave it in their basket overnight, but they feel the need to buy it now instead of asking, but have I got something already in my house that that I can use for that? Why am I buying this?

Am I just feeling a bit, you know me? Today and I just wanna cheer myself up. Or is it actually something that was on my list of things that I was like on the lookout for? That's a com different, different feeling. And, and then the thing is, we get carried away by clicking and by thinking. We get deals and then a day later or two days later when all the packages come in, we're like, oh my word.

And then the amount of packages feels overwhelming. It's really, there's a lot wrapped up in that.

Lesley: Yeah, exactly. I think, you know, we've gotta think about our emotional triggers when it comes to buy in. Now we're here, it's Black Friday today. If you listen to this on,

Ingrid: Mm-hmm.

Lesley: comes out, things are the same all year round, right? There are, there are promotional campaigns all year round.

We go, we sometimes we don't even need a promotional campaign to fall foul. All of the emotional triggers that make us buy, you know, you've already talked about comfort buy-in, which is that kind of idea of. I don't feel great still. Let me just turn myself up. But it's very transitory that, that, that, that adrenaline boost, domine hate, whatever you wanna call it, is. Very transitory. It's there and it's gone.

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: I think, you know, aspirational buying is, is at its peak on Black Friday. 'cause all that messaging is all around. You need the latest ninja soup maker, you know, smoothie maker juice. Air fryer, bread maker, whatever, and I'm, that's just in the kitchen. All the other things as well. And so aspirational buying is at its height as well. I think it's all about, you know, the marketers are great at, at, at making us feel that fantasy. Of who we want to be. We want to be that person that's making the bread fresh every day. We want to be that person that's juicing for our health. We want to be that person that's, you know, making soups from scratch every day and having them sit in there.

When we

Ingrid: Mm-hmm.

Lesley: at lunchtime, the dream is

Ingrid: Mm-hmm.

Lesley: The marketers make sure that we fall foul of those dreams and start buying things that we don't need. And so I think it's really,

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: to see. Self-awareness is everything, isn't it? Ingrid, when it comes to shopping, you know,

Ingrid: Yeah, yeah.

Lesley: To stop us from doing this. And so we are here

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: give you a little tiny inkling, little bit of willpower to go. Actually, I do remember that whole

Ingrid: Yeah,

Lesley: thing before you go to the Amazon basket or wherever it might be. Just have a little think about the kinds of things that we're saying

Ingrid: yeah,

Lesley: because Black

Ingrid: yeah.

Lesley: ultimate saboteur of what we're trying to do.

Ingrid.

Ingrid: Oh yeah. Yeah. They, they play so well into that. It's a deal and get it now, and we've got this fear of missing out, you know, because they know how, just how to do it so well, you know, buy it now because it's the lowest or whatever it is. And oh my gosh, you know, because decluttering when you have got a lot of clutter in your house, of course you have to work on what's in your house.

You have to work on your exit structure, but you also have to work on what comes in. And you normally can't do all three at the same time, but we want to already plant that seed. If you are in your decluttering at the moment, plant that seed of, Hmm, actually I know I'm working on my house, or I need to work on my house.

I need to work on what I currently have and what I like and all of the emotions that sit behind that clutter. I need to work on where is it going. 'cause that's a big barrier for a lot of people. And then of course the third step is how do I stem the flow of stuff coming in And the Black Friday, like you say, Lesley can be a massive saboteur because we feel like, ooh, this is, you know, this is a great deal and we've got to get it.

Lesley: Exactly, and we, and if, if we are in the middle of a decluttering journey, it just derails us and takes us right back to where we were with all of those things. You know, you talked about the Amazon packages coming in, we feel that overwhelm again and we just fall back into

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: And so I think it's really, really important to recognize it. And I think that. Ultimately, buying and shopping is easier than decluttering, Because decluttering, in order to declutter successfully, there are so many things that are stopping us, getting to get there, stopping us. What's the word? Stopping us getting there aren't there? And so. It's really,

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: to recognize that we're always gonna take, or often we are going to take the easy route and going out shopping or sitting there with your, you know, with your phone doing, you know, putting things into your basket is easier than tackling what's there. And so. Yeah, so don't buy, ask why. Ingrid is really there for us to give you that little bit of a helping hand in terms of asking these questions. So let's break it down to something

Ingrid: Hmm.

Lesley: which is, just think about it. Why am I buying this? We've talked about some of the emotional triggers. Are you buying it to made yourself feel better? Are you buying it 'cause you want to be that person that's making the bread? But this is hard stuff, Ingrid. And so we're here really just to give a little bit of a helping hand to try and give that extra layer of kind of barrier almost in between you and that purchase.

So really think to yourself, why am I buying this? Am I buying it because I've got fomo? Am I buying it because I think I'm gonna miss out on a deal? Am I buying it because I. Feel like I need to be that person that's making fresh bread every day. Am I buying it? 'cause I'm feeling a little bit rubbish today?

Am I buying it as a little bit of a treat for myself? Think about what your emotional trigger is and why you are actually buying it. it's really important

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: to ask yourself whether you have anything else that'll do the same thing at home. We're all about duplicates, aren't we?

Ingrid: Yeah, I know. We, we, we keep buying the same thing over and over again, and especially when we're tempted, we think, oh, go on then. And the later we realize. Oh, but I already have this thing. It might not be the exact same copy, or sometimes it is, but you've got a machine that does similar things and you completely forgot you had it, or you end up buying the similar type of clothes all the time while you already have a whole bunch of the same things.

So. Ask yourself, do I already have something in my house that can do the exact same job as the thing that I'm buying now? Or is it just the latest model in a color that I like? You know what I mean? So really think that through. And of course, the third thing you can ask yourself is. Is this thing actually adding value to my house?

Or am I just adding more clutter and more stuff in my cups and more stuff in my wardrobes and more stuff in my kitchen cabinets that are already bursting at the seams? Am I actually going to use it or is it going to be another thing that I'm going to feel guilty over later that I've spent so much money on it.

Lesley: It's so interesting actually, isn't it? 'cause we're just fresh out of a Wear your wardrobe challenge in the membership, aren't we? So we've just taken our members through Wear Your Wardrobe, which is all about reconnecting with the stuff that you have in your wardrobe and really looking at it to see whether or not it's serving you. You know, whether you've, all of the things that we've spoken about, like why have I got this in my wardrobe? Am I wearing it? Kind of the 80, it follows on from the 80 20 rule really, you know, that we wear. what is it? 20% of our wardrobe, 80% of the time. And the interesting thing was our members asked us for a full list, just something really simple, a list of all of the things that they need to ask themselves when they're decluttering or shopping or anything like that. And that list when it comes to clothes, alone, Ingrid was like. 40 things, right? So we've covered a couple

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: many different things that are gonna make you not choose something or alternatively buy something or have bought something in error. And so just what we want you to do is to literally ask yourself out loud before you hit that buy button and or before you go to that checkout if it's in a real shop, and think about the things that we have mentioned today.

Really, really important to give yourself that layer, isn't it? In between you and the purchase.

Ingrid: Definitely. So let's go for a break and after the break we'll return with some more. don't buy, ask why wisdom.

Hi everyone. Welcome back to part two of Don't Buy. Ask Why? Because we are in the middle of our anti-Black Friday revolution here going on at the Declutter Hub because we want you to, yeah. I, we want you to shop smart and not get tempted by all those pesky marketing materials that tempt you to spend your hard earned cash, because we have to be on top of that.

But before we know it, we've, we've, we've bought tons and tons of stuff that we don't need. So yeah, we have been talking about Black Friday, of course, because today's the day Oh, so tempting Lesley.

Lesley: Yeah, it is. And so I think the most important part of this is to, to refocus. Now, the irony is not lost on us, that we are talking a lot about falling for marketing campaigns and what we're gonna present to you now is a full blown marketing campaign for our don't buy ask why. Black Friday bundle, but bear with us because we think it's worth it and we want to deliver

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: an alternative for you to spend your hard earned cash on.

That's actually gonna turn the needle in the other way, which is why you are in the Declutter Hub. We want to take that stuff out of your home rather than adding it in.

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: a little cost to

Ingrid: Yeah,

Lesley: so isn't that so? But

Ingrid: I know

Lesley: not lost

Ingrid: It's interesting, Lesley, because I had, a somebody who's interested in our membership and in our courses on the phone, and she said, you know what? I know it sounds crazy, but I realize I actually need to spend some money to actually do my future self a favor, and I can get rid of that super expensive storage unit that I'm paying an arm and a leg for.

So it, it, I know, it, it, it, it's like a bit of a double-edged sword, right? We tell you not to buy anything, but then we do say buy our bundle. But we're actually, we know, we know that it's gonna make a massive, massive difference to people. And I think that's why we're so passionate about it, and that's why we're so much, we believe in our don't bias eswa, revolution campaign because we know how clutter wears people down and how overwhelming it is and that we want you to do to think about that and tackle that.

So. Lesley, what kind of things, can people expect when they, delve into the information about the, the don't buy ask why bundle?

Lesley: Yeah. I think what we did when we were putting the Don't buy us Why bundle together is we thought about the main barriers that hold people back from making progress. Really what we're trying to do with this, as we've

Ingrid: Yeah,

Lesley: we're trying to break you through the barriers of. Decluttering being difficult.

Yeah. And the nice thing about our Black

Ingrid: yeah.

Lesley: yes, you could absolutely start in November, and November is a great time to declutter, but you may be like, Ugh. like literally in the middle of sorting stuff out of Christmas. The nice thing about this bundle is it's a course, it's not time-based.

You get it for life. Okay. And all of the things within it are all things that we think are some of the highest. Barriers to you getting the job done. So the first one that is included within our Black Friday bundle is this idea of needing a structure. Like so many people come to us Ingrid, don't they?

And go, I've got no idea where to start, how to

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: I do one room and then I'm lost. I dunno where to go, what order to do my house in. I don't. I wake up one morning, I'm like, well that needs doing and that needs doing and that needs doing. Every room in my house needs doing. So how do I know, which is my priority? And so for that, what

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: in the Black Friday bundle is we've got our bootcamp, okay? So don't be scared off by the term bootcamp. You can take as much time as you like, but basically it's all designed to take you through the main rooms in your home, one room at a

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: So the bootcamp is included, and what that does is it takes away the overwhelm of not knowing how or where to start.

So it gives you the thinking and the

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: all of our material does, right?

Ingrid: Yeah, exactly. And of course another thing that we hear all the time as well is that people say, you know what? They think about the hardest thing when they think about decluttering. They think about the boxes from their mom's house or the ornaments from when they were young. The sentiment. Items are a massive big part of people's clutter.

And when people are like, I'm getting ready to declutter, that's the first thing their mind goes to, but they're the hardest things to start. So we thought, you know what? We need to put something in this bundle that also helps with those sentimental items. Of course, you need to do the bootcamp first, do the main rooms, but then when you get a little bit more space and a bit more time and the clutter goes down.

You probably gonna come across sentimental items. So we thought, okay, we are going to do a sorting out sentimental course. Our SOS course. We're gonna include it in this bundle because sentimental items really, really hold people back when they're decluttering and Organising.

Lesley: Absolutely. And so, yeah, it's another barrier. And, and I, I want to just jump back to that a little bit. And one of the things that keeps people stuck as well is, is that our minds automatically take us to the difficult things, and sentimental items is the difficult one. Right Ingrid, you know, that's the hardest stuff.

Ingrid: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Lesley: keep that close, that sentimental stuff because it brings you joy. And so. But we want to reiterate that it's really important then, as Ingrid said, to do the bootcamp first, to do the main body of your home first and then to do the sentimental course later. And our sentimental course covers something like 17.

Is it 17 categories of sentimental

Ingrid: Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

Lesley: The one thing that you'll learn

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: the Declutter Hub is that we go into detail because we know that you need that detail to make progress. There's no point in us giving you the same stuff that you can get everywhere. Freely available on YouTube in a magazine article.

You know, we need to give you more. And that's what we do within our courses and also within our membership. I think one

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: that we've included and that we know is a barrier, it's all well and good. We're like, yay, do the bootcamp and then do your sentimental. We. But decluttering is not linear.

It's not the curve. Balls come our way. Life happens. We're like, oh, you know, I'm doing my Duolingo at the moment. I've been doing it for 200 days. I'm on a street, but I'm a bit like. I it's not really, I just not really wanna do it, but I don't wanna stop it. You know, I'm kind of a little bit in a lull because for whatever reason, I'm, I'm super busy.

All of those things, I'm just in a bit of a lull and it's all about how can I get my, how can I get myself back on track with Duolingo? How can you get yourself back on track with your decluttering journey? Because it ebbs and flows. Life ebbs and flows, and it's not, you're not always gonna be a hundred percent motivated to do this.

And so we have our. Keeping up Momentum Masterclass, which takes you through all of the things you do when you're struggling. This will be something that you pull out when you need it. You know, you don't necessarily need to do it, you know, you might be fine. You might do the bootcamp, do the sentimental, you know, Bob's your uncle.

You are all sorted. But if you start to struggle, then they keeping up. Momentum Masterclass is one that you can pull out of your back pocket and you can look at, and it will, it will get you back on track.

Ingrid: our next thing that we are, have put into the, don't buy ask why bundle because.

Paperwork is a massive problem for lots and lots of people. So what we thought, okay, let's also put something about paperwork in this bundle. So we've got, a paperwork, challenge five lessons to talk about. Lots of kind of, paperwork that we see all the time. Also included in this bundle because paperwork really, really.

Stacks up and one, one little piece of a pile of paper. Leslie is like a ton of decisions, so it's really important to get control of that paperwork as well.

Lesley: Definitely. And the, the last and final thing that we've included within our,

Ingrid: I.

Lesley: ask why bundle that we've included our room of do masterclass. Now there are many of us in, in our communities who really have either. Sometimes a House of Doom that people call it. So every room is very full and very logistically difficult to navigate and difficult to get through. And so, or, or maybe it's just one room where you've kind of chucked everything and you're like, I can't even get through the door. Nevermind, declutter it. And so how do you then logistically work in a room that's very full? It's something that a lot of people struggle with, and that's what a Room of Do Masterclass is all about.

It might not be something that you need. Everything might be ticketed Boo, and you're fine. So you can just ignore that part of the bundle. But it's there for you should you need it. So those are five key things that we find that come up time and time again, that people massively struggle with

Ingrid: Mm.

Lesley: So we've got the

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: need in the bootcamp. We've got the sentimental course, which is absolutely brilliant on its own. We've got the Keeping Up Momentum Masterclass. If you're struggling, we've got the paperwork. If you get to the end of your bootcamp and you're sentimental, it's time for paperwork to kick in, and then you can start working on your paperwork, which we would suggest that you do separately to the rest of your home. And then if needed, you can go into the Room of Doom Masterclass, which is great. It's a fantastic bundle. It's normally, the value of it is way over a thousand dollars. We've got it on sale during this Black, black Friday period. I think it ends on. Monday night doesn't, it

Ingrid: Yep. Yep.

Lesley: but it's on sale down from a thousand and something.

I can't even remember what it is to, $147 for this period. Now, there is one more thing that I wanted to say as well. It's really important for you to recognize. What you need. Okay, so if you are quite self-motivated and you want to get this job done, you want to start after Christmas, all of these things, then the don't buy ask.

Why Bundle might be just the thing for you if you're like, I kind of struggle to get myself motivated. I need that accountability. I need that community. You might be better in our membership as well. So what we'll do for Black Friday as well is we'll also put an offer on our membership, which will pop in the show notes as well.

So you've got two options. You've got the don't buy ask why bundle and you've got a 20% off our membership offer. So just have a lo be there for a very short time. We don't put offers on our membership very often, but there will be one. That runs the same time as the don't buy Us Why? So look at that. At the same time, if you think that the, membership will be a better option for you, if you're not sure, pop us an email over and we'll make sure that we help.

But the membership has got a lot more than courses and masterclasses in it. It's got other tools that are gonna really help you to get going. so yeah, I just wanted to pop that in as well. So I think

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: you know, Ingrid, it's all about. Getting through this period, you know, it feels like a bit of a, a kind of obstacle course, doesn't it, to get through things.

But how can we get out to

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: of this

Ingrid: Yeah.

Lesley: stuff in our homes and with a view, with knowing that stuff is gradually gonna start going out?

Ingrid: Yeah. Yeah. We really, you know, the whole idea behind this podcast is we don't want Black Friday to add to your clutter. We want you to start figuring out what is holding you back, what are your barriers, and how can I make those tweaks and changes to all of my habits and the things that I do every day?

And we're shopping as well. let me try and figure out why am I so stuck at the moment? What can I change here? And indeed either going for that done by ask why bundle that you can find all the details on DeclutterHub.com/BlackFriday, or indeed by going into our membership. It's all on DeclutterHub.com/membership.

So we'll pop indeed those links in the show notes so you can find all the information. But, you know what? We're not saying, never ever shop. If you see a fantastic thing that you've been keeping your eye on for, for, for months, and you found it a good deal, and this is like the moment. Absolutely go for it.

But also just be mindful that you don't end up with 12 packages while you are planning to just buy one thing, because then you're gonna feel overwhelmed by all that stuff. So really be mindful and, yeah, we, we really, we you to say. You know, we want you to look and create space and time and a feeling of freedom.

So that is what decluttering is all about. It's never about the stuff, it's about the emotions that sit behind it. So we hope that you've enjoyed this podcast. Thanks for listening, and we'll look forward to seeing you next week.