A photograph of Ingrid and Lesley with the river and sights of Newcastle in the background
Episode 168 – Favourite part of the decluttering and organising process

Episode 380 – Home, Life & You – How NOT to declutter your home
Episode 379 -The Scary Truth of Why You Can't Let Go
After being professional organisers for 12 years, you would think by now we wouldn’t get as excited as we used to by the process of decluttering and organising. That couldn’t be further from the truth and in this podcast we’ll tell you why.
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Transcript of this podcast episode
[00:00:00] Ingrid: After being professional organisers for 12 years, you would think by now we wouldn't get as excited as we used to by the process of decluttering and organising. But that couldn't be further from the truth. And in this podcast, we'll tell you why.

[00:00:17] Now, it's almost Christmas, and if you're watching this on YouTube, you can see that we have dressed up for the occasion.

[00:00:26] So we're going to hopefully talk about some serious things, but with like a whole Christmas outfit and a Christmas background, it might be difficult to stay a little bit serious, Lesley. 

[00:00:37] Lesley: I think it's fair to say, I think I will share with our listeners that this is our second take of the podcast because the first one did not go well because as well as our Christmas jumpers, this is my Christmas jumper.

[00:00:49] Anybody who's on YouTube who can't see it is a penguin. Ingrid's got her Christmas. We had we also had Christmas backgrounds and Christmas hats and it was becoming very, very difficult to really take it seriously. So we've lost the hats haven't we? Still got the backgrounds and the jumpers. The fact that it's absolutely roasting hot in here and I'm like about to collapse under the heat of the jumper is also not relevant.

[00:01:13] But we're going to try our best. We wanted today to be a little bit light hearted but serious didn't we? We know that no one's got time for a huge decluttering project a week before Christmas and so We just thought let's have a little chat, Ingrid, didn't we, about what we love about the decluttering and organising process.

[00:01:29] What is it that makes us keep coming back for more, year after year after year, talking about it, loving it, and sharing our expertise with people. That is what today is 

[00:01:38] Ingrid: all about. You know what? It is just such a passion. And you know, besides doing the podcast and having the Facebook group and having our lovely membership and still occasionally working with clients, I read books about decluttering.

[00:01:53] I read podcasts. I listened to other podcasts. I read blogs. It is, I'm like immersed in it. It's just so much my passion and I love it so much. So delighted that it still excites me and I get so much enjoyment out of it. And I think it's mainly because we see just magic happen in front of our eyes, don't we?

[00:02:15] And we know this is not about putting something in a bin bag. It's about these habits, these emotions, these things that change within our clients, within our members, the journeys they go on the incredible, um, light bulbs and, and. Insights that people get and I think that is just all together is just why we still, I think, speak for both of us here.

[00:02:44] We still just adore it, don't 

[00:02:47] Lesley: we? We do, and I think it's a massive, massive privilege to be part of that as well, and we don't take that lightly as well because even though we're here with ideas, you know, it's you guys who are doing all the work at home, isn't it? You're the ones that are Taking what we advise you to do or we share with you and running with it and you're the ones getting the real results and you're the ones who are going through those changes in mindset because decluttering is not an easy job, is it?

[00:03:11] Bottom line, you know, sometimes it's very, very overwhelming. It's hard to take those first steps. Now, I think, so we're really going to talk about the whole decluttering process, but we're going to talk about the bits of it that we think are very, very powerful, I think. And so, and so we sat chatting about this before and, you know, Ingrid and I kind of.

[00:03:30] finish each other's sentences, to be fair. So we kind of know what each other thinks, really. But I think we each picked out a few bits that we think are super important. And for me, I think one of the very first So one decluttering is that very first step in admitting that you want to do something about it, either to yourself or to other people.

[00:03:52] So in our world, that is a client picking up the phone and saying, I'm really embarrassed to do this. But it's got to a stage where I really need some help. Would you help me with this? And for us to be able to say, absolutely, you've come to the right place. We can totally help you. And you can hear the kind of, like, this is so amazing that there's someone there that can help me.

[00:04:13] I don't have to do this journey on my own. And so that bit of it, or someone joining the Facebook group and then realizing that there's a whole load of other people out there who've got the exact same emotions and habits. Or it's about listening to this podcast and us telling you about our experience with other people.

[00:04:31] Or it's about becoming a member with us, where people are in a smaller community of people that are super supportive and going through the whole journey with other people. So whatever it is, I think that first step is like so powerful, isn't it Ingrid? Yeah, 

[00:04:46] Ingrid: I think so too. I think it's, it's hard to admit that you need help with something.

[00:04:52] I think a lot of us are so conditioned. I'll figure it out my own. I'm just going to read a book, watch a YouTube video, go on whatever it is, and I'm going to figure it all out. And just to actually realize, you know what, I really need some help with this. And then picking up the phone or typing that email or Googling or listening in and actually going, this is a problem.

[00:05:14] I am ready to tackle this. 

[00:05:17] Lesley: Yeah, it's a big deal to, to, to make that mental leap, isn't it, in whatever shape or form that is, you know what I mean, and so you can't underestimate that very, very first step. It's very, very powerful. Yeah. And I think that once you kind of get into it. So you kind of, you know, um, what do you call it?

[00:05:36] Put your feet in the, what do you call it? Dip your toes in the water. I'm trying to think of what this phrase was. I'm doing a bit of an Ingrid then. Can't even think what I'm saying. But anyway, so dip your toes in the water. And so you start to look at what decluttering and organising means and what this journey is going to mean.

[00:05:53] Um, and certainly if you're in our world of decluttering, then you're going to find out pretty quickly. That it's not actually about the stuff. It's not actually about the extra bottle of shampoo that you've got or the skirt that you can't fit into. It's not about that. It's about tackling what's inside your mind and it's tackling these deeply ingrained emotions that have been around sometimes for decades or things that have happened in your life that have led you to the place where you are today.

[00:06:21] For some people, there's. Traumas, there's all kinds of horrible, nasty things that life throws in the way of us that take us off track from being what we once were, perhaps, which was a very proud homemaker that, you know, loved their home, supported their family and enjoyed everything around the home. And then all of a sudden that's gone and your home has taken a nosedive over the years and you want to get that back.

[00:06:49] And you're like. How did that happen? You know, how many people, Ingrid, do we talk to who say, but I wasn't always this way. You know, if I go back years ago, I was always super proud of my house and I don't know where it all went wrong. But the truth of the matter is, it does go wrong because life throws these things in our path, doesn't it?

[00:07:06] Ingrid: Yes, and there's so many different reasons. I mean, a lot of people just, you know, can be very judgmental. Like, oh, they're just so lazy. They're just not doing their house. But it's like, the stories we hear. Oh, there's always been so much going on. It's never just a one thing. It's a snowball, very fitting for Christmas.

[00:07:26] Hopefully if you've got snow, it's kind of a snowball of events that have happened that have led to the current situation and whether you have a little bit of clutter or a lot of clutter, you are here now and you're like, right. I want to do something about this and I think that is such a positive, um, mental change that people then make of, yes, I'm ready to, to tackle this head on because I don't want to be like this.

[00:07:53] I don't want to live in a house like this. I don't want to be surrounded with clutter. 

[00:07:57] Lesley: Yeah. And I think that, so understanding those emotions and there are, there are, I wouldn't say hundreds, but there are probably, I don't know, I don't know what the number would be English. I was like suddenly decided I'm going to say a number of emotions, but let's just say several lots of 10, maybe 20, 30, 40, 50, that kind of emotions.

[00:08:19] And some of these have got some emotions associated with them that cause us to have problems. And we've all got our own version of what that is, but you know, just. Taking away the guilt that you feel if you spent a lot of money on something and all of a sudden you're like, you know what, that money's gone, like, let's not worry about that.

[00:08:34] Don't worry about it anymore. It's gone. We can't bring that back. We can't change the past. And just allowing yourself to move on from these emotions is so very powerful. Knowing, getting the knowledge to realize that, you know, the kind of what ifs that we ask ourselves all the time, going through the process of understanding.

[00:08:54] The repercussions of making a decision and sometimes making a mistake and allowing yourself to make that mistake and realizing it wasn't actually a colossal mistake to make. All these things are part of that journey, part of that learning that you need to go on to get yourself to that end point of decluttering.

[00:09:10] Well, there isn't an end point, actually, as we say, it kind of goes on, but get you through that journey of mindset change to a point where. You've kind of seen the light almost. What do you think, Ingrid? 

[00:09:20] Ingrid: Yeah, definitely. And I think it's also something that happens over time. Some people have very early on lots of light bulbs, which guide them on the way, but it's also a gradual process.

[00:09:34] It's almost like the peeling of an onion to get to the heart of it. It's a layer after a layer. It's the big clutter first, then it's the smaller clutter. Then it's the really nitty gritty clutter that's been, been, been holding you back and then the realization of wow and, you know, the money that's been been spent on the items of items that are never being used and all of that.

[00:09:55] Those insights, I think, for me are, are, are so interesting to see and I think definitely one of my favorite parts of, of the decluttering journey. 

[00:10:05] Lesley: Yeah, I know you talk then about, um, the getting down to the nitty gritty of things and, you know, so you, so by that I'm assuming that you talk about things like sentimental items and you talk about things like paperwork that are notoriously hard to, to get through those emotional barriers, aren't they really, you know, we are if we're sentimental people, it's hard.

[00:10:25] To work out one sentimental item for another and realize that some are better or more sentimental or more special than others. And realizing that you can let go of some of these things and still enjoy what's remaining is very powerful as well. The quality of a quantity is huge, isn't it? Once you get that and you understand that it's like, of course, why do I need to keep 50 of something when I can keep five and I can still evoke those really special memories.

[00:10:52] And so, but it takes some, some doing it. It's a process that needs to be learned and it's a journey that needs to be gone on and enjoyed. Isn't it? And a super powerful, I think, isn't it? 

[00:11:02] Ingrid: Yeah. And I think it's, it's also what we see a lot in our membership, I find is that. That decluttering muscle that really develop develops quicker than a lot of people actually realize at first.

[00:11:16] That's also so interesting to see. And the people who follow our roadmap in our membership and actually follow the steps that we say, Okay, this is the order in which you're best to do your house. I'm like, wow, I'm feeling braver. I'm feeling. feeling more ready to now go to the next step. And the people who are further into our membership, they're tackling their rooms of dooms.

[00:11:36] They're tackling their craft rooms, which are notoriously hard to do. So you can really see that shift of, wow, I started in need with easier areas and now I'm doing the harder areas and I feel that I've built up my decluttering muscle enough to be able to do this. I could have never thought I would come as far as I have.

[00:11:57] Lesley: I think we, I think, yeah, I think you're so right. I think one of the things that we think about declutching before we start it is that it should be simple and that we should be able to just do it. We should be able to go and get a bin bag, take it into a room and get rid of things that we no longer need.

[00:12:10] It should be a simple process. And so where, why is it complex? And the truth of the matter is that it's not complex. Is it really, but it needs to be done in a certain way, which, which tackles those emotional connections, those, those. those easier emotional connections first and then you build up, as Ingrid says, that decluttering muscle along the way.

[00:12:28] And so I think the realization that perhaps the way you've been doing it in the past has not been the best way to achieve what you want to achieve. Of course, we've all made progress and Progress is fantastic, whatever that is, but there is a way that makes things easier for yourself and encourages that longevity.

[00:12:46] Because what happens so often is that people give up because it becomes too hard, mostly because they've jumped into the hardest room earlier on in the process than perhaps they should have done. And so I think the realization that actually. Decluttering and the decluttering process is something that needs to be learned is also super relevant, isn't it?

[00:13:06] Ingrid: Yeah, I think so too. And what I think for me if we're talking about kind of favorite parts I really love it when you start to see almost like a twinkle back in their eye A weight being lifted from people's shoulders. You hear them like, oh, I feel so much better there's so much less clutter around my my My eyes just feel like they've not so many things to distract me all the time.

[00:13:33] I feel relieved. I feel Like space is opening up and not only in my house, but also in my head. And I, that's what I love when, when you start to see that with, with our members and also with our clients, that is just such a fantastic thing to see. And it's like, yes, I mean, I'm like, yeah, you know, amazing.

[00:13:56] Well done. Because that's what gives you them the motivation to do something else.

[00:14:02] Lesley: Hi everyone. Welcome back. Now, before the little break, Ingrid was talking about the fact that people feel so much lighter once they've gone through that decluttering process. And I wanted to sort of carry that, that idea on a little bit, which is something that's very special for me, is that when people are proud.

[00:14:18] of what they have done and proud of what they've achieved because for many people, decluttering has been something that hasn't happened in the past that they've never quite mastered. It's almost like not running a marathon cause that's, well, you know, it kind of is a little bit like running a marathon, but when you start off and people do like couch to 5k don't they run and it's like, I really wanted to run and I've.

[00:14:38] done this and the pride that people feel when they master something. It's priceless Ingrid, you know, and people are so proud of what they've done. Look at what I've done. Proud to show the families, proud to show the kids, proud to show us proud to show the show, the decluttering communities that they're in.

[00:14:56] And there's something very, very special about people feeling. You know, I did that and I'm amazing because I did that and I, I love that feeling of somebody going from, and you can see, as you say, you can see the weight being lifted equally. You can see the pride coming when people are so happy with what they've done.

[00:15:13] Yeah. You 

[00:15:14] Ingrid: know what way where I see that a lot is in, when we, in our own, we've got our own internal forum in our membership and people share their before photos, their progress photos, their after photos. And you can see it. It doesn't have to be a whole room. It can even be look at this cupboard. Look at this drawer.

[00:15:32] Look at what I've done. Wow. I can actually put everything away now in my kitchen cupboards, or I actually didn't realize how much stuff I had. And now I've got it all lined up and money, you know, use it all up and, and you feel the pride is just oozing through the photos and I love that. 

[00:15:52] Lesley: Love it.

[00:15:52] Absolutely. I mean, we've, we've spoken a lot about decluttering, um, and the decluttering process and actually get into that stage. I think one of the next things for me that comes, it kind of is a long side, but maybe you really nail it after you've done a big decluttering project, which is. the understanding, the importance of keeping on top of things, the importance of maintenance, the importance of daily and weekly resets.

[00:16:17] And then once people start to understand what a reset is, start to have that in their lives, again, very proud of the resets that they're doing and realizing. Wow, what used to take me hours and I would never do actually is only five minutes. And so the realization that once everything has a place, you can put it back so easily.

[00:16:40] And those resets are absolutely fantastic for that, aren't they? And so people love a reset. And so just that, just that part of the process, if there's one thing I would say that people love more than anything else, it's, it's, it's daily resets, isn't it? Wow, I'm doing my resets. You know, we had a message from a, an old member who was with us for a year just this morning, didn't we, who said, still doing my daily resets, still spend an hour a week on my resets, and I'm absolutely nailing it.

[00:17:08] So she came into our membership for a year. Did the process and now it must be two years or so since she left and she's still emails us saying still doing it, still on it, still got my house completely under control. So happy. And it's lovely to hear back from old members. You've got that completely nailed, isn't it?

[00:17:22] Yeah. Yeah. 

[00:17:24] Ingrid: And it's also, we see it a lot in our accountability threads that we do. We, we, we set monthly goals and we get feedback from our members saying. One of my monthly goals was to be better at daily resets. And then you get a couple of weeks later, still doing it, still doing it, still keeping it up.

[00:17:40] And then the month later, I don't even think about it anymore. It's now so much part of my habits of my routine that I don't even. So you've got those massive wins, but now it is actually. It's it's in the strategy. It's in the plan for that day and you do it without thinking about it. And then, you know, habit really has been cemented.

[00:18:02] In in the whole process and I think that is just amazing 

[00:18:06] Lesley: to see I know, you know, we're talking about it sounds kind of cliche doesn't it talking about journeys all the time on the journey that you've gone on but it is completely what you do go on. And I think that once you have done the decluttering projects once you have nailed your daily resets, your weekly resets, and you've got all that sorted.

[00:18:24] I think there's a huge shift in people's mindset. That's when all of a sudden people are like, well, I've done that and decluttering is now part of my life. So it doesn't have to be this huge. Mammoth undertaking once a year to get things under control again, I'm just ticking away at it all the time. And then once that happens, people feel that weight has been lifted and feel ready to move on to other things in their life, don't they, Ingrid?

[00:18:49] And that form, it comes in many different guises. 

[00:18:53] Ingrid: Yeah. Yeah. One of the things that I always love is when I start to hear our members say, I'm going to do a no spend month or I'm going to do a no spend challenge or I have my paperwork under control and I've actually called my insurance company and I've just saved 400 pounds on my insurance for.

[00:19:11] Whatever insurance it is. And that just brings me so much happiness because that is all money that was being just frittered away and, and, and being spent. And it, I love that. I love those wins that those make me very happy. I know. 

[00:19:27] Lesley: Yeah, it is. It's about. It is about that moving on to the next stage, isn't it?

[00:19:31] And I think, you know, for some people that might be. Of course, a lot of people, it's definitely shopping. So the shopping habits definitely change. Now people are definitely looking at shopping in a completely different way because you've worked so hard to get that stuff out of your house. And people are like.

[00:19:45] I don't want to start bringing random stuff back in. I absolutely want to change my habits. I don't need that stuff in my life that perhaps I was, I was definitely going through retail therapy and stuff before. And so I definitely don't need that. I am not bringing that in. So I think shopping habits change.

[00:19:59] I think we find a lot of people move on to creative things as well. So something that's laying a little bit dormant, maybe somebody wanted to craft, wanted to paint all of those things. to cook. People start to go back into the hobbies that they had before that have lain dormant for a while. I think that people quite often will start to go on weight loss programs as well if they've, you know, cause it kind of all gets wrapped up.

[00:20:22] If you feel as if you're in a little bit of a slump, all of these things are sometimes very, very interwoven. And so people just feel ready to take on another challenge, but sometimes people find that hard to take that challenge on because you've got. a decluttering challenge and you've got a weight loss challenge and you've got a creative challenge and you've got all of these things and you can't do everything all at once, you kind of almost need to focus on one thing at a time, get that right and then move on to the next one and so it's always really nice isn't it Ingrid to see decluttering not being Thank you.

[00:20:52] A big mammoth task anymore being very much part of people's lives and people just wanted to chip away at it and then moving on to the next thing. So important. 

[00:21:00] Ingrid: Yeah, yeah, I think so too. And I think we really saw that as well when we did our eat from your pantry challenge with our members. I mean, super, super successful member challenge and everybody, you know, started digging out the stuff from their pantries.

[00:21:13] They started to think about what things they were going to look forward to, to, to buy that week for the fridge. On the back of that, people started to do some maintenance and cleaning on their fridge and freezer. They started to create meals that they've never made before from leftovers. There was less food waste.

[00:21:28] There was meal planning going on. And it all kind of came together, and it was just tremendous to see. And that gave me just such a sense of... Of happiness for our members as well. Like they're not only, um, not wasting food, they're saving money. They're eating stuff that they have. They're thinning out all of the stuff that's clogging up their pantries.

[00:21:49] They're donating food that they have far too much from. It was just win, win, win, win, win all together. It was just 

[00:21:56] Lesley: amazing. It was it was, you know, the interesting thing was we, you know, we said we wanted to talk about why we're still excited by this and I think we can tell we're like excited little Duracell bunnies aren't we basically about getting excited and we never and that never stops.

[00:22:10] We're always excited like this because because of the changes it's honestly it can be not for everybody. But de clutching and organising can be completely life changing for people and we see that so often and that's why I feel so passionate about it. Yeah. But the interesting thing that I wanted to talk about really, Ingrid, just to close off this podcast, which has been, we could literally carry on for like three hours, but we need to stop, don't we?

[00:22:34] Because people have got Christmas to, um, to look forward to and things to do. But we wanted to talk about all of the things that excite us. Nothing is about. The stuff. Nothing. It's all about the emotions. It's all about the mindset. It's all about the journey. It's not about, do you know what was fantastic about the decluttering process?

[00:22:53] The fact that I got 10 bin bags out of my house. That's not something that excites us. It's a byproduct. For me, it's always a byproduct of the decluttering journey. The real progress is in the journey, in the mindset changes and so on. And it's not about the stuff. Of course, we need to get rid of our stuff to facilitate that, but that's just.

[00:23:11] A thing that happens as a result of all these amazing things going on in people's minds. Isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. 

[00:23:17] Ingrid: Yeah. Everybody thinks it's about the stuff, but we know it's always about the emotions and habits. So yes, we love it. I think we can conclude Lesley. I feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside now as always.

[00:23:31] And I'm like, yeah, yeah. Let's continue in 2022. We're talking about decluttering and organising. We have not finished speaking yet. And it still makes us incredibly happy. And it's just lovely. It's just lovely. So, Lesley, what is next week's podcast? 

[00:23:47] Lesley: Next week, I am going to be talking to one of our members, Liz, about her decluttering journey.

[00:23:52] And it's really interesting. There's a couple of motivational quotes that really resonated with Liz and set her off on her decluttering journey pathway. So, do listen in. So, that's a Christmas Eve podcast. Can you believe that? We've got Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve podcasts coming out. How nice is that?

[00:24:10] I'm sure. But everyone will be listening in on Christmas Eve. It will be there once Christmas is over as well. So, but do tune in if you want your normal Declutterhub podcast 

[00:24:21] Ingrid: fix. So thank you so much for listening to this week's podcast. And all that's left for me to say is because indeed it is Liz and Lesley next week on the podcast.

[00:24:32] I wish everyone a lovely time over the holidays. We hope you enjoy celebrating however you choose to celebrate. We'll see you soon.
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