A graphic showing an array of sentimental cards
Episode 119 – Decluttering sentimental cards

In today’s episode we will be discussing decluttering sentimental cards. Without a doubt decluttering sentimental items is the hardest category to do in your home and that is why it is so important to do sentimental items last when you have decluttered most of your home and you have space to work on a big project like that.
Episode 355 – Your future self will thank you for it – how extra decluttering effort really pays off
Episode 354 – Feeling in control when going through a divorce with Tamsin Caine
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Transcript of this podcast episode
Intro  0:07  
Welcome to today's episode of The declutter of podcast, your channel for super easy, no nonsense advice on how to declutter and organise your home. Please welcome your hosts professional organisers, Ingrid Jansen and Lesley Spellman.

Ingrid  0:31  
Hello, and welcome listeners to Episode 119 of the Declutter Hub Podcast. I'm Ingrid and I mostly, if you have clutter and want to sort it out, this is the show for you. Now, in today's episode, Lesley and I are talking about decluttering sentimental cards. Now, I don't know how about you, Lesley, but I think it's about time I kind of go through my Christmas cards, it's the eighth of January, they need to come down. So that's what we mean. But sentimental cards, it's cards that people have sent to you. And there's like this nice message on them. What do you do? It's such a hard thing to do.

Lesley  1:13  
Now, Ingrid, I think it's fair to say that this podcast is long overdue, isn't it? People have been asking and asking and asking, because not many people are very disappointed with our podcast. But I have to say, when we recorded Episode 85, which is called decluttering cards, a lot of people like yes, this is the answer. England and Lesley have put a podcast out about decluttering cars. And now I'm gonna get rid of all our sentimental cards. And then we're highly disappointed to find out that that episode was actually about decluttering the cars that you keep to give to somebody the other way around. And so people be like, Oh, I thought it was going to be about decluttering the ones that you've kept, well, I need to wait, you need to wait. So here we are 30 episodes later doing what our lovely audience wants, which is to talk about decluttering sentimental cards

Ingrid  2:04  
yet. And this has been also, of course, a perfect opportunity to tell everybody, if you want us to do an episode we listen to you. So if you've got thing, anything like I've listened to all 118 episodes, and they've not talked about this, that or the other, send us an email via support at declutter hub.com. And it will be put in the schedule. It might be 30 episodes later, but we do really listen to you, our lovely listeners, if you request something. So let's talk about sentimental cards and without a doubt sent decluttering sentimental items is the hardest category to do in your home. And that's why it's so important to do it last when you've decluttered most of your home, and you've actually got space to work on a sentimental project. Now, there are tonnes of different categories under sentimental items. And one of them is indeed sentimental cards. Now let's just talk about some of the sentimental cards categories. We find Lesley because it's just a lot more than just Christmas cards, isn't it?

Lesley  3:16  
Yeah, so let's put this in perspective. So people love to keep cards because they find them very special. birthday cards, Christmas cards, wedding cards, new baby cards, new house cards, bereavement cards, engagement cards, driving test cards, exam cards, graduation cards, I could go on and on and on. But we get a card for a lot of things. Now I do think actually, in the younger generation, it's starting to die off. Sadly, I don't know whether it's sad or not, I can't decide. Because there's obviously an environmental issue as well with sending cards with postage and blah, blah, blah. So I don't know whether it's sad or not. But the fact of the matter is that younger people don't send cards in the same way that our generation and above do. And so that much is true. But the problem that we've got, if I think about all those card categories that we just mentioned, and if you if you are even if you're on your own, that's a lot. If there are multiple people in your household, and you're the one that's keeping cards for your son, your daughter, your second son, your second daughter, your husband, that's a lot of cards, that is a lot of cards. And so can you then keep all of those cards and evoke that memory, which is what we want to do with sentimental items. This is the big question, isn't it in grid?

Ingrid  4:34  
Yes. And I mean, I know you kind of said birthdays at the beginning. But within birthdays, you've got all the special birthdays Lesley the 18 to 21 the 40 to 5075 It's like cards galore. I do love a cart. I find this I think other sentimental items one of the hardest things to do. I find it really hard. I finally have gotten better myself. With Christmas cards to go, Okay, I'm only going to keep a couple. And I'm really saying a couple if it has a really beautiful message on it, or at one of those photo cards that people send you, I really like those as well. never sent by myself, but I do like receiving them. But it's just a hard thing to do, isn't it? I

Lesley  5:19  
know it's really interesting, actually. Because whenever we do anything in our membership about cards, normally when we record lessons Ingrid and I are very aligned in terms of what we think. But whenever it comes to cards, it's always a debate. So instead of teaching people what to do, Ingrid and I have a debate that way, basically. So we did last year, we did our countdown to Christmas, we had a debate which people love to listen to Ingrid and are kind of vying for supremacy and what what's the most. So who's right and who's wrong. But it's just what it does is it gives people food for thought to think about their own actions and the way that they do things. So Ingrid loves a card. I'm not saying that I don't love a card. I absolutely love card. Ingrid is more card focused sending and receiving than I am that much is true. And so maybe we can give people a little bit of that debate today, Ingrid?

Ingrid  6:08  
Yeah, you know what, I think? You I have seen the decline of card sending over the years. So maybe I now treasured them even more, because I get fewer. It's like it, which should be maybe the wrong way around, you know, but I just really, I just appreciate it so much. If somebody takes the time and effort and energy to buy a car to write it to post it out, to you know, stamp it and sorted and I'm like, oh, it's such a nice thing for for somebody to do so. It's it's, it's really tugged on my heartstrings, you know, with other things. I'm not sentimental at all. But yeah, carts and things like that. And also photographs is really, for me a tricky one. And I love it, actually. But we don't feel the same about it. Because I think that makes it interesting. I think it's just a cart. It represents so many milestones in people's lives. I think that's why now you look back and you think, Oh, wow, you know, that was another great day or a special moment, or it reminds me of a special time of people have. So yeah, yeah, I think a car can really represent a lot.

Lesley  7:23  
So let me put my perspective on things then Ingrid. Yes, everyone's gonna think ham and mean card, non giver and non receive and that is absolutely not true. You're absolutely right. For some people who give a card, there's a huge amount of sentiment that goes behind that behind the choosing of a card behind the message that they write on the card. And for other people, it's something that you have to do, I need to get a card. And I write on it to Ingrid, happy birthday, love Lesley, for example, I would never put that on a card to you, Ingrid, of course. But just as an example, is it just something that where you're going through the motions of getting a card and sending it because you feel like you ought to, or is the emotion and the sentiment really deep there. And you know, when you get a card, where somebody has thought long and hard about what the card looks like the message that they write on it, when they send it, even if it's a card that's out of a blue, sometimes those cards that are completely out the blue are the nicest cards to receive. But I want to give you an example of what I mean, which is so back in December, we just finished up a challenge. And one of our lovely members just had just joined us. And she explained to us then how much of an impact we'd have through that challenge and to join in the membership. And that completely out of the blue, she sent you an email and said, I really, really want to send you a Christmas card kind of have your address. Now she's overseas, when I received that card that was really special. And I will keep that card because of everything that went behind that and why she Sentix is different. So I think there are some cards where you're going through the motions, and some that are truly special in terms of the sentiment and the message behind them. And that's what you have to glean. When you're going through your sentimental card, you have to sort out the quality over the quantity and not just keep everything because then you become complete. If you keep everything, you become completely overwhelmed. And it's not special anymore, because you haven't got these sort of nuggets of these gems that are absolutely beautiful from a sentimental perspective that are really going to give you that warm fuzzy feeling inside. So I think quality over quantity is definitely the message and really think about what the person who sent that to you was thinking at the time that they wrote it or chose it. So that's that's where I am with cards. What about you?

Ingrid  9:41  
I think that's interesting because I think it's it's the combination of sometimes it can be the card and sometimes it can be the message in it. Because you might have a friend who kind of always knows exactly to know which funny card is to send. And the message itself is so important. But you know, the sentiment behind the card that can really make you laugh or make you feel emotional. And while on the cards might be just simple cards, but the message written in is really special. So that's why I think you have to, and I completely agree with you less the aid is definitely quality over quantity. And I've gotten better, you may be pleased a year. But, you know, if I receive a couple of cards on my birthday, I just still find it very hard. Because something Oh, you know, that's so nice. It's so nice to to receive those cards. It really, really makes me happy. Do I have to do some more card decluttering? For my kids? Yes, for sure. I mean, they're all kind of bunched together in their memory books is year on year. And we definitely have to do some sorting out I've been much better with Christmas cards, like I said before, in previous years, I would have kept everything. I don't do that now anymore for a long, long time. But again, some like photo cards, it's the card itself, not really the message. And with others, it's like oh, that's that's, that's that's such a nice message to receive. Really important to keep that from that person. And I think maybe birthday cards and Christmas cards are easier than other cards, like wedding cards, I've kept every wedding card.

Lesley  11:24  
Yeah, of course, because I think what I think wedding cards is kind of almost a snapshot of who was there. And so as a collection, then it makes complete sense, because you can look through those cards, and they can remember them being there. remember them being there, and so on. And particularly if you take the wedding back to pre digital, where people weren't snapping pictures and posting things on Facebook, that's what makes a difference. So some of the older cards are probably a little bit more important than some of the newer cards. That's another reason why the younger generation don't send cards because they communicate in a completely different way. That's why they they're not so hooked up on cards where, you know, for people like like you and I Ingrid, sometimes a Christmas card might be the only time that we actually communicate with someone for a year. Now we have alternatives, we can forge that relationship more regularly, we can post things on Facebook and keep in touch, even if it's not, even if it's not an active relationship, people are seeing what you posted. And so you feel that they were uppermost in your mind. So I think it's a little bit different. Now we've entered a well entered a firmly in a digital age, I think that's having a bearing on the way that we look at things. And so I think it's an interesting one talking about children's cards as well. We wrote a big sentimental cost delivery for the membership, which is meaty, meaty, meaty, let's just say that. It's got everything in it that we consider to be sentimental. So it's a big course obviously do is a huge amount to actually talk about within that. And so as part of that I did my own sentimental project didn't know from years ago, and it might surprise you to hear that I had not touched that sentimental stuff for many, many years. And so I did a huge, proper purge of my sentimental items, filmed it all and showed the members exactly what we had done. And why. So it was quite impactful, I think wasn't Ingrid. But when I was looking at cards, which I had kept a lot of previously, children's cards, you know, sevens, birthday card eights, you know, times three children, it's a lot. But the kids don't even remember those kids been in their class. And if ever there was a card that's like, oh, I need to send a card, it's most likely to be from one seven year old to another seven year old, if that makes sense to me. And so I think those were quite easy to get rid of. Sometimes you feel that your children are going to want you're keeping those kinds of things for your children, pass them on to your children, let them make a decision. You really have to decide whose sentiment is it? Is it your sentiment? Is it you that gets that warm, fuzzy feeling about your child being seven? Or is it them that needs that warm, fuzzy feeling? And the chances are if it's them, they're probably not that bothered.

Ingrid  14:01  
I think it's also true that when you are going to embark on a decluttering projects, which are sentimental cards, I think you need to ask yourself, Am I ready to do this? Have I got the mental capacity to start a sentimental projects? And maybe you come to the realisation like that you have several sentimental categories and actually cards because it is can be quite a tricky one has to be moved later or that you think you know what actually that could be a really good place to start with cards because exactly what you're saying, if it's just a seventh birthday, from a classmate that they don't even remember and you think, oh, what's the actually child in this class with that name? I don't remember, then that's easier to do. But I think you also have to think about what you want to achieve here. Is it because you want to declutter them or you kind of want to have a final read through them before you make that decision. Or do you So we want to pick out some favourites per per event, maybe you have thought about a wedding display in a frame, and you want to take parts of a wedding card and make a lovely creation, if you're super creative, maybe that's been on your mind. So you want to do something else with it. But you need to first gather all the cards together to make that happen. So think about I think as well. What's the aim of doing this besides creating space? Is there a follow up project in this to happen? Or is it just, I have so much of everything? I need to start decluttering this because I can't keep up with the volume of the things that are coming in?

Lesley  15:42  
Yeah, I think it's fair to say as well. And with that, you know, you're absolutely right, you need to be ready. And it's not something for the faint hearted, really, is it? You know, you have to have worked on in my opinion, you have to have worked on the rest of your house, before you can use that decision making that you have learned to tackle sentimental stuff. So sentimental. In most decluttering methodology, whether that's Marie Kondo, whether that saws whether that's anybody else is always at the end. And that's for good reason, isn't it? Because it's hard, because it's really hard. And you need to tackle the easy stuff first, and then do the sentimental. Now a lot of you out there will be like, You know what the rest of the house is fairly sorted. I'm kind of in control of that. But when it comes to sentimental stuff, I am an absolute nightmare. And I have no idea how to tackle it. So rest of the house is fine, sentimental stuff is not fine. If that's you, we have a sentimental course we have it in our membership for all our members, we also have it as a standalone course. So if you're like, oh, you know, I don't want to know about the kitchen and the bedroom and all that. But I do want to know about sentimental items. Take a look at our class and see if that's something that might be able to help you because I'm telling you, it is got a lot of food for thought in there. And we really, really delve into the emotions and the rationale and the reason why you keep certain things. And it's enlightening, isn't it? Ingrid?

Ingrid  16:57  
Yeah, first of all, it's a fantastic course, because it has a lot of different components to it. Lots of videos, you and I talking, debating, but also it has several show rounds of stuff in our own houses. How do we do this in our own house. And I think that makes it really interesting to you exactly what you said earlier in this podcast, you actually show your sentimental project and how you tackled it and what you did and how you went through it and how much work it was as well to do it and that you did it in phases. And I think that's what makes it very interesting. So if you'd like to know more about our sentimental course, do have a look at Declutter. hub.com learn with us, and check out the sentimental course there.

Lesley  17:41  
So let's talk about some of the other sentiments that might hold us back from decluttering cards. Because sometimes cards have negative emotions attached to them as well, don't they. And that's why sometimes it's hard. And that's why we procrastinate, and we're doing it because we might find things in there. You know, if you've had failed relationships, if you've lost somebody, all of those things, have a habit of bringing back emotions that we're not ready to tackle. So if you are about to embark on a decluttering of cards project, then you need to be ready emotionally for what's going to come and you need to think about whether or not keeping things that are going to give you bad memories is good for you going forward. You know, if you've lost somebody, that's a different matter. But if it's a failed relationship that brings you nothing but pain to actually look at that card and let it go. Life is too short to have things in your life that make you feel bad. That is not what we're about. We need things in our life that are going to make us happy. And looking at something from a relationship that has failed doesn't necessarily take us to that place that we want to be.

Ingrid  18:41  
Yeah, and I mean, of course connected to that relationship might be the engagement cards, the wedding cards, you know that it brings back all of those memories, and I don't want to have that happened to me anymore. It can be a very hard project emotionally. It's not only about the happy memories cards is it's also about you know, when you find cards of people you've lost that have sent you really nice messages, it makes you think about the people and I think if it was a good relationship that is really lovely to be reminded of that special person. But if it was a strained relationship it can be it can be really, really tough to come across cards from from almost like, maybe feels like another lifetime. Right?

Lesley  19:24  
So let's round off with some tips on how to tackle a card project. What's the aim here?

Ingrid  19:31  
I think first and foremost, the Amish have in mind what you want to happen here. And the most important thing is exactly what you said, quality over quantity thin eight out. You don't need to keep everything.

Lesley  19:46  
I think for me the most important thing within this is that you need to absolutely gather like with like First you've got all your cards together really, really important. And that might be an undertaking in itself. So but you need to do that before you start So nucar declutter, and this is going to take some time, this is going to take a lot of time because you need to be able to enjoy the experience, there's no point in looking at it in the same way as you do decluttering. The kitchen, which is a practical process, decluttering of sentimental cars is, can be a lovely, lovely process. And you need to give yourself time to enjoy it. So this is a completely different type of decluttering project than many that you will have done in the past. And it deserves care, attention and time. So it's not something that you can do quickly.

Ingrid  20:33  
Then the third thing I think, Lesley is when you're going to do discard projects, ask yourself whose emotions are these? Are these my emotions? Or are they actually my children's emotions. Lots of children leave stuff at their parents houses in lofts in their rooms, maybe it's not up to you anymore to make those decisions. Maybe they are adults now. And you can give the decision to them. And you don't have to hold on to it, you could just gather it together and go, right. This is not for me to decide. I'm going to let them decide it because these are their cards. And they need to decide if it's important for them to keep it in their lives or not.

Lesley  21:13  
And finally, the most important thing is, why do we keep sentimental items, we keep them so that every now and again, it doesn't need to be every day. From time to time, we want to be able to look at these cards or any other sentimental items that you have in your home and enjoy the moment. And so for that they need to be in an organised orderly fashion. So you can find them when you choose to spend that time actually looking at them. So that we've covered our main theme. I mean, we could go on for hours couldn't wait. And we could go on for hours about cards and what to do with them. We do go on for hours and hours. We do go on for quite a long time in our sentimental cars. But yeah, those are the main things to give people food for thought. You're the one who has a relationship with cars only you know how that makes you feel. So everybody's car declutter will be completely different English would be different to mine will be different to yours. So you do it in your own way. But really try to dig deep tackle those emotions, and work out is this a really highly sentimental emotional message that's in that card.

Ingrid  22:16  
So listeners that is our advice about decluttering sentimental cards. So that's it for this episode, and we hope you've enjoyed listening to this episode, and are inspired to take action. If you'd like to have more handy tips and advice have Lesley and I come and have a look at our Facebook group to declutter hub community. If you don't want to miss our next podcast, subscribe to declutter hub podcast and it will pop into your notifications each Friday. So thanks so much for listening, and we'll see you next time.

Outro  22:50  
Thanks for listening to this week's episode of the declutter hub podcast. Check out declutterhub.com for more inspiration, and don't forget to tune in next week.
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