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Episode 299 – The importance of patience when decluttering

Patience is a virtue or so they say. We think it is a vital component of decluttering success. In today’s podcast we’re talking about the many ways patience needs to be adopted when embarking on a decluttering journey.
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Transcript of this podcast episode
00:00
Patience is a virtue also, they say we think it is a vital component of decluttering success. In today's podcast, we're talking about the many ways patients needs to be adopted When embarking on a decluttering journey.

00:23
You're listening to the declutter Apple podcast, bringing you tried and tested no nonsense tips and advice from the leading experts decluttering and organizing your home. Now here are your hosts, Ingrid Jansen, and Lesley Spellman.

00:46
Hello, and welcome, listeners. I'm Ingrid. And I'm Lesley. If you're new to the declutter hub podcast, you're so welcome. What you'll find is that we try and find a fun factor in the serious business of decluttering. And if you've been here for a while, you know exactly what we mean. So thank you so much for listening. If you'd like to get involved in conversations related to this podcast, it all takes place in our Facebook group. So come and join our lovely, warm, supportive community. To find the Facebook group go to declutter hub.com forward slash group to find out more, or you can search for the declutter hub community on Facebook. Well, hello Lesley. Here we are podcast episode 299. And you have inspired today's podcasting grid, because last night, you went to a tag that concert your first ever and had an amazing time. And one of their key songs, which I love is called patience. I know it's today's podcast, because we thought we'd talk about patients. But we weren't Singh. Singh.

01:55
Might be a step too far. So take that for anybody I believe take that did not break America, which really surprises me. And so they are massive here in the UK, or they have been and they've had, they've been around for like 35 years. Most people absolutely love them. They put on these massive shows in which went last night. I've been a few times before. Yeah, patients is one of their songs. And so we thought we'd talk about it. I know, I know. Patience is very, very important. Now, let's come clean. Let's see, before we get started, are you a patient person? Patient?

02:27
It depends.

02:29
Right? Well, what do you think I'm a patient person? Yes. Actually, I do. Do Yeah, yeah. I thought you're gonna go out and out. Say no.

02:39
I think I am patient with my clients, I impatient. In some instances with my children. I'm not patient when it comes to doing things. I'm a bit of a bull in a china shop.

02:53
That's true. A bit of a Yeah, yeah. It's interesting. But somehow, if I was decluttering, myself, I may not do some of the things that we're going to talk about. Yeah, I think I'm allowed, because I'm well practiced.

03:08
Well, I think I think you're actually quite patient. But you can be very impatient with other things. Because you're like, Oh, I'm bored. Now I want to move on to the next thing. So you can sometimes come across as impatient, but I think it's more that you like to do other things all the time. But I think as a person, I think you're very patient actually. Die sitting next.

03:29
To your patient. Yeah. Really?

03:34
Didn't know. Yeah, I guess because you because you're very controlled. And so the two things go hand in hand down there? Well, I find it very interesting, because I think a lot of my clients think I'm very patient. And that's what we get paid to do.

03:50
If we weren't patient, then we were like, Okay, off you go, come on, let's get this moving. You know, it might we might not have a business. So I think that's true. goes with the territory of being a professional organizer. We'll be honest, I think I'm actually quite impatient. I've gotten a lot better since living in Ireland and in the UK. But I think Dutch people and I know generalizing here, why impatient? You know, we?

04:19
We just, I think the problem is it's getting mixed up with other things. So you're probably talking more about the sort of diet direct say it how it is. And that can come across as impatient, whereas patience is more. It's an interesting concept. We should maybe we shouldn't Google what patience is. Yes. I'm going to pause the podcast and I'm going to find out, hold on. You know what, Ingrid, I feel that when we were preparing for our podcasts, perhaps we needed to look at the definition of patients before we started recording. It didn't and we now know what it means.

04:57
What does patients mean? Yes, it says here

05:00
The capacity to accept or tolerate delay problems or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious? Hmm, Lesley, maybe I'm not a patient person at all. See, I think I am because I'm very calm in those kind of situations. And, you know, so I'm like, Okay, well, that's fine. We just need to work away around it as we were solution finders, aren't we as professional organizers. So therefore, we have to be patient really, to mean so. But there's so many different scenarios in which you could be patient. And that's what we're going to talk about today, we're talking about patience in the context of a decluttering journey. Yeah. And really, there are three main ways that you need to exercise patience. Number one, you need to be patient with the actual process of decluttering itself. Number two, you have to be patient with yourself. And number three, you have to be patient with others, and we're going to break it down. I'm going to talk about all those three components. Yes, exactly. So let's talk about the process first, unless the because it is really important that when you embark on a decluttering journey, or when you're in the decluttering process, you need to set yourself realistic expectations. Because we can be very overwhelmed by all the clutter. But if we have only kind of pie in the sky thinking and yeah, we can all do this in three days, when your whole house is cluttered. And you don't give yourself enough time, you get this expectation, you said to yourself, and then you're never going to be able to make them and then you it's very hard, you have to be really patient when you're decluttering. And organizing.

06:42
I think the point is more that you know, if you want there are people who go out there and do three days have decluttering back to back and have a fantastic results from that. But it's maybe not sustainable for the long term. And it doesn't lead to long term mindset change. And so I think the patience, if you are patient with the process and understand that it is a process, it's going to take a little bit of time, what that means is you're likely to get a much better long term result, which means you don't have to keep returning to it. So the patience is about take your time, take it slow, take it one step at a time, understand that it's going to take a little while, understand that you're not going to do your sentimental stuff today in your photographs, and you're going to start with something else. And then what that means is your journey is going to be much more controlled, and you're going to have a better long term results or patience leads to more long term success in my opinion. Yeah, I think that's absolutely true. Because you know, we want to we have to climb that mountain, don't we, we have to feel at some point that the tipping point like our we're now over and over the bumps, we're seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, but you can't expect from day one, you need to see the road where you're calm, but you don't see the ends, you know, you have to be patient and go, I'm gonna have to invest in this. And the problem is we talked about before, when we were looking at the sort of definition of patients is it's very wrapped up in all the things isn't it? So in some instances with decluttering. Of course, most people come into this because they feel very overwhelmed by something, which then leads to an impatience, which then might lead to action. Yeah, so impatience might also be useful as well, you know what I mean? But overwhelm impatience. They are two different things, but they're so intrinsically linked in this process. So maybe you do need a little bit of impatience. But then you need to lead that into patients. I don't know, it's hard, because I think it's so wrapped up in other things, Ingrid? I think it's important, you know, for us in the, you know, in the decluttering. world, we are big advocates of taking your time. Yeah. Because we all want the end result, right? Of course we do. It's human nature, we don't want to spend six months getting to the same point, we want to do it quickly. And we want to get those results quickly. But then we don't want to step back either. So by taking your time, it can be much more controlled. So I think patience with the actual process of decluttering. Understanding what that process of decluttering actually is, is absolutely vital to long term change. Yeah, I think what we also need to do is in the process, we need to start small. I know we say it all the time, but it is crucial to do that. But of course we want to dive in and pull everything out and get cracking and you know all of those things, or at least we think we want that but actually when we are being realistic. We know that that is far too overwhelming. But starting small seems to be like well, well then I haven't really done anything because we're hard on ourselves all the time, right? So it's like, well, I've only only done one drawer and we're constantly go But hold on a minute. One drawer one cupboard one shell

10:00
have one, you know, 10 hangars, whatever, is better than doing nothing at all. But I think because we sometimes can get a bit bogged down with the all or nothing mindset, the starting small can, I think be very, very tricky for people. But we know after helping, having helped 1000s of people in real life and in our membership, that that is the start of those good changes, you won't see dramatic changes overnight. It's just, we see that on the socials, you know, the lovely reels where you see a cluttered room and a clean room. And we think, Oh, whoa, but hold on a minute. That takes a lot of time. And now what you see some other people do. And so it's just to say, This actually took five hours, or you know what I mean? Yeah, there's a lot of decision making a lot of stuff that's being done behind the scenes that you don't see in a 62nd video on socials. But it looks like it's all can be done quick. And there's no action to be found here. No, no, I think we get bombarded with this message. And right, you know, and there's been the big show on the TV here in the UK. Recently, Stacey Solomon sort your life out, which is a lovely program. And there's no doubt that it takes longer than the time that you see. But it's kind of like the doing an entire house in kind of a week, I think it is or something like that. But that involves probably 10s of people doesn't it all working simultaneously, well, who's who's no one's got that. And so, you know, if you're embarking on a journey, you need to be patient. And you need to set yourself up for this kind of this marathon, not a sprint, as we talked about all the time. So, so important that you set yourself up for success. By not expecting the world overnight, you're not going to see those dramatic changes. And it can be hard to become demotivated if you don't see those changes. So therefore, you need to be in that positive mindset, be patient, be patient, be patient, you don't have to, I've told you before, I said before on this podcast, you know, in 2024, I definitely changed up the way that I have done health and well being. And I decided to take things one change at a time one month at a time. And it's paying dividends because by now ordinarily, I would have given up and probably slipped back into old habits. But I've stacked one habit on top of the other with us walk in and I've increased it a little bit and increased. But I've not done all of the things at the same time. I've not tried to tackle nutrition and health, I'm walking and work out some sleep. And you know, I've tried a little bit to do okay, let me get that nailed for a month. And then let me try and put something else and and it's really work. And you know, it's really it's really working. But I know that I'm not going to get the results that I'd really like tomorrow before I got old in a couple of weeks. That's probably not going to happen until this time next year. To me and so I've got to be patient because my impatience in the past has not worked is the bottom line. It's not words, it's kept repeating me repeatedly taking me back to where I was before. So I've got to make a change really so. So yes, quite interesting. So most importantly, be patient with the process. It takes time. Yes. So we've covered being patient with the process. Now let's talk about that people need to be patient with themselves. Because we are so hard on ourselves. We briefly touched upon that before, but people are really hard on themselves, aren't they? I haven't done this. I've been so lazy. Why can I not do this? Why have not have enough done X, Y and Zed and I've only done a, b and c and why am I so slow? And other people seem to be able to do this? And I can't do it? Oh, wow. I mean, gosh, talk about like a negative thinking that's going on? Exactly. And I think I think part of the process, obviously, we've got the process of taking it one step at a time, one drawer at a time, one room at a time. But really, when it comes to being patient with yourself, it's not about the physical items or the stuff or the rooms. It's about the process. The emotional processes sits behind that. And you need to be patient with yourself to allow yourself room to grow and change. You need to allow an opportunity for a phased approach. And so if a decision and emotional decision is difficult today, then we need to leave it to one side and be confident enough to leave that's one side and then come back to it later on the process. It was interesting because a couple of weeks ago, we put a poll we put a poll on the Facebook group, about what part of the decluttering process is the most difficult and overwhelming way. It is still the making of the decisions. You know, it's not the logistics, it's not the preparation. It's not the getting stuff to the charity shop. It's that difficulty with making decisions. And so you need to be patient with yourself to allow that long term change.

15:00
You know, and that's where I have kind of I'm patient with the process of change for health and wellness this year. But I'm also being patient with myself, like last week, I didn't have a great week. And I'm like, This is not a linear process, okay? Life is gonna throw curveballs in my way that I need to learn to not go backwards when these things happen. But to be patient enough with with myself to learn that that's just a blip in the road. And I just need to reset start, again, to non mean, reset and start again. So it's about allowing yourself these blips in the road, it's about allowing yourself when an emotional decision is too difficult to leave it to one side and come back to it. It's about allowing yourself to understand that this is hard this is, this is why decluttering started putting stuff into a bin bag, not hard, making emotional decisions about stuff that you feel that you've got a connection to. That's the hard stuff. That's what decluttering is all about. Okay, we've got yes, we've got a place for everything, got storage, where all those things was peripheral things. But honestly, 80% of the decluttering process is about that decision making. And you need to allow yourself to grow and breathe through that. So it's all about being patient with yourself. And once you do that, that's when you're gonna get that long term success as well. Yeah, I think just from what I had very similar, Lesley, I mean, you are on a kind of a health and well being journey. I'm on a kind of more I need to work on my sports, and I'm just not exercising enough. So I last year, I started with tennis, and I kind of thought, oh, let's just you know, go on a, on a social evening, try to hit a ball. And I quickly realized, wow, actually, I really enjoyed but I cannot play tennis, which makes complete sense because I've never done it before but live. So I've been taking lessons every week for an hour. And you know, oh, through the winter, I was still playing it, it would have been so easy to go, Oh, it's cold or it's not feeling like today. But I thought you know what, I've got that lesson booked. I want to I need to give be kind to myself and go I know you don't want to go but I know it's for the best that you do. And I went ahead and slowly but surely, I've gotten a little bit better, a little bit better. And everyone's so I'm super frustrated with myself because nothing goes well. And I can't hit a ball properly. And other times I'm like, What, oh, this is incredible. I'm like doing a really, you know, had a fantastic shot or whatever. But it just takes determination right and not thinking that I'm going to be Serena Williams in three months time because but he will be Serena Williams. And if anybody can be Serena Williams Ingrid will totally but she did. She actually believes that she will be Serena Williams

17:44
I do shot and you shout like come on and people like my my friends on the tennis court are like this is not Wimbledon Ingrid.

17:55
Say you've got to be paid, you've got to be patient a with the process of learning tennis, you've got to patient with yourself to realize that you're gonna have some good days, and some bad days, I think one of the really important things to recognize is that you need to celebrate the wins. And so every week in our in our there's two things that are really impactful that we would kind of urge you all to get involved. And if you are in our Facebook group, which is Wednesday, winds and thankful Thursday, and it's all designed for positivity. And the interesting thing about Wednesday winds I mean, somebody's wind might be I decluttered my entire garage, or I got to the end of my house or whatever it is. But other people poor people's wins might be I took a bag of donations that's been sitting in my hallway for three weeks, and recognizing that that is a win that you've pushed through and you go, I've done that. And that's a win in my eyes. And Well the nice thing about Wednesday wins is that everybody's wins are completely different. And I'm sure some people wouldn't go to class not much. But to that person, it's an amazing step forward because it means that you've broken the mold of something. And so, you know, don't be afraid to put those wins in because people like to see the little wins. As much as people like to see the big wins. So get involved in Wednesday wins. And then the day after on Wednesday wins, we have thankful Thursday. And that's about taking a step back from your decluttering journey which can become all consuming sometimes. And they can What am I thankful for. And sometimes that might be in the context of decluttering. Sometimes it might be about something that you've done with your family or a social occasion or a health thing or anything like that. Two really positive posts to get him to the threads to get involved and that we would urge you to get involved in or certainly to take a look at if you don't feel comfortable posting if you are in our Facebook group, but it's all about celebrating those small victories, those wins, and being thankful for things that we have in our lives. So so important, isn't it in grand? Yeah, because I mean, let's be honest. So

20:00
Some people are a tortoise and other people are a hare, you know, in their decluttering journey, some people can grow really fast. And some people just have to take it slow, slowly but surely forward. But everybody gets to the end line in the end, slightly in different ways. And whether you do something really small or really big, it's the positivity that counts. And that lovely energy that comes out of that, that you are feeling good about yourself. That's really important. You know what else I wanted to sort of talk about, which I've sort of noticed a little bit in, in various sort of communities that we've got, we've got this beautiful community of people, right, really supportive, non judgmental, nonjudgmental, you know, super happy love to see people's journeys unfold. But we also recognize Ingrid, that if you're not somebody who wants to get involved, that that can sometimes become a little bit demotivating for people. So if they see other people that are doing an amazing job, when you feel that you're not doing an amazing job yourself, because you've not learned that kindness, you've not learned to celebrate the small wins and things. Sometimes it can become demotivating. But we would urge you to still get involved and maybe to think you know, to dig deep into the winds that you've got that take you that step forward and not to be demotivated by others. Because we we always go down that route of comparison. And it can be very dangerous sometimes, and we can't we you know, we talk a lot about, particularly in our membership about your journey, you're aware, you know, there's lots of different ways to go on a decluttering journey, some people will, will have the whole thing nailed in six weeks, or the people it might take six months or six years. And that's all fine. As long as you as an individual and making those steps forward. That's what it's all about. And so it's all about, you know, coming to terms with your own journey. And that takes patience. But it can be easy, we recognize that it can be demotivating to see people who are doing it in a speedy way. You know, to me, it's hard, isn't it? You know, and some people feel like, oh, I don't feel good enough. And it's a natural human response, isn't it? When you get success kind of put in front of your eyes, you know, it can be easy to think, Well, I'm not good enough. I would urge you to find the good in what you're doing and to recognize that you're going on your own journey and following your own pathway so important. Well, I think I needed that was really lovely said let's do so let's go for a break. And let's talk some more about patients after the break. Hi, everyone. Welcome back. We're talking about patience today. Have a little patience. Oh, oh, I accidentally sang

22:34
me out. Move over Gary Barlow. In town. Oh, isn't he absolutely brilliant. Oh, wow. Absolutely amazing. But anyway, we have talked about patience, having patience with the process, having patience with yourself. But we also need to talk about having patience with other people. Oh, so tricky. So. And Ingrid actually said that she thought I was patient. So we're on a winning streak here. All right.

23:03
Anyway, so I dare not to say otherwise. Lesley? I'm kidding. Exactly. So I think you know, other people invariably are involved and should be involved in our decluttering journey, particularly if we live in a multi person household. If you don't live in a multi person household. You don't have to worry too much about other people. But if you do, then they invariably are involved in your decluttering journey. So one of the big things that happens all the time is, you know, once we go on a decluttering journey of our own, we educate ourselves, we become motivated, we go to the right place, we join a community, you know, we learn, we think we listen to podcasts, we do all of those things, and we are ready to get going. And we already we always think that other people should be just as ready as we are at the exact same time. And that's not the way it works. And then we get these clashes within families within partnerships within husband and wife teams. And it causes problems sometimes. And so our advice to you is about you need to do you know, we talked before the break actually about your journey your way and it needs to be your journey. You can't expect other people to come on board to your journey at the exact same time. Yeah, I know. It's, it would be wonderful, wouldn't it? It's like, I'm going to declutter and everybody go Yeah, the Amen. But everybody goes.

24:30
Why? Why now? I don't have time. I don't want to do this. Oh, here she goes again. You know, if you've tried and tried and done this before, and it didn't work out really well. So there's lots of things so focus on yourself, really focus on yourself your own stuff. And then hopefully, over time, other people will come on board, but don't expect this moment of hope. After three days when you're thinking

25:00
I'm nailing this hair and nobody says anything. Because they're probably are like, Oh, well, we'll see what happens. Let's look again in a week or so. And, you know, or maybe a month or so, honestly, focus on yourself, focus on your own stuff. And people will come on board over time, slowly but surely, which may, or may, I love you enthusiasm.

25:24
But it is more of a May than a well, in our experience, they do typically. So it's definitely more weighted towards will the May. But we can't say well, because it doesn't always happen. Yeah, a couple of things that I wanted to sort of unravel there and things that you spoke about Ingrid, which is, it's what we talked about people, you know, you talked about having done this journey before, and perhaps having not been too successful in it or whatever. So people in your family often get worn down. Because if you are on some kind of mission to do something, you know, that decluttering journey or weight loss goal of cooking thing, or health learning or whatever, and you've picked it up and dropped it, as we many of us do, all of the time, people become worn down with this cycle of being over infused and then dropping off and over when to use and dropping off. And they become then cynical about your journey. And that can become very demotivating. So you need to recognize that. And that's another reason why you need to go down your own path and prove this time that things are different, though, sometimes you've got a little bit of a job to do with proving to others that you can do it in a successful way. There's sort of how the tools that you've put in place this time are a little bit different to what they have been done before. And that the stars are aligning a little bit which, you know, we need as well, we need a bit a little bit of luck on our sides, don't we? Yeah, yeah. And I think you see that as well. But the feedback that we get as well, it's like, I've read all the decluttering books, I've looked at all the YouTube videos, I've, I've tried a little course they're there before, but nothing really stuck. And then when I found you guys, it really made a massive difference, because you actually understand the emotions that sit behind all the clutter. And it's given me a whole, like, massive lightbulb moments on my journey, that it's not about the stuff, it's about everything else around it. And I think that's the difference. When people come into our membership, it really makes that that massive difference, because we don't only have the knowledge to share, but also the accountability and the support and the amazing communities of people that we have, and that we feel feel so so, so lucky that we have around us all the wonderful people. And yeah, I think that it's not just never one thing is it, Lesley you need to build, it needs to be a bridge, you know, it can't, it cannot only be one wooden plank, it has to be a whole bridge with structures in place. So you can safely call cross 100% 100%. so, so important. And so I think as well. So let's say for it, you move beyond the kind of cynical way oh, here we go, again, sort of scenario that you might come across, let's move into a stage where somebody is somebody else is on board with making decisions and does want to try and declutter. And this may be somebody that you're helping, you know, so it may be somebody in your household, it might be stuff that's kind of combined, or their stuff or whatever, or somebody that you've chosen to help if you're helping a parent or a child or whatever, what you need to recognize as well. And what you need to be patient with is that your emotions, and their emotions are completely different. And so a decision that that seems to be completely rational to you that seems simple to make for you. Maybe it's always been simple. Maybe it's something that you've learned to work through. So it's different things. People have got different emotional poles with different types of items. So you need to be patient that the decision that you're willing to make, it's not necessarily the decision that somebody else is willing to make. Because people are at different stages of where they are in their life and what's important to them and what you know. So it's really difficult. So patience definitely comes in, when it comes to other people's decision making. I know you can't you can't rush that you can't rush it with yourself. But because of course you've been learning over time and you build up that decluttering muscle over time. It does get slowly but surely easier. Because in the beginning, you think that every decision is going to be hard, but the more you practice it, the more you try it, the more you a case you step out of your comfort zone to kind of go Okay, I'm ready for this. Now I feel ready. But the other people around you that they're not there yet and there you are going well. Yeah, that simple, simple, simple decision and they're gone. Oh, hold on a minute, because they're just not where you are. So you have to take that into consideration. And be patient when you're working with your parents, with your partner with your children because everybody is in it. In It.

30:00
different mindsets, they their habits haven't changed yet, they're starting at the beginning of the road, where you might already be halfway and kind of at the end of the tunnel, see that tiny glimmer of light coming and you're like woohoo. But you know that ultimately your tunnel can't come without the other people coming on boards because there's still stuff hanging around your house that belongs to other people that you're desperate to also include within your decluttering journey. It's tough when there are other people involved. And it's probably one of the biggest questions that we get is all about how do you get all the people to declutter in the same way as you do? Yeah, I think one of the things that we really want to talk about is kids. Yeah, kids. Tricky, right.

30:43
Yeah, and really tricky, not just gonna do

30:46
God work, but lovely. And the same thing, I think it's so important to be patient enough to spend some time teaching them the fundamentals of stuff, management of stuff, acquisition of stuff, donation of stuff. And that takes time to get across to them. So you need to exercise patience when you are dealing with your children. So that if you are in a situation where you felt overwhelmed or out of control with your staff, that you can teach them from a very early age, not to follow that same pathway. But you need to be patient because this takes time, doesn't it to teach them? Oh, yeah. For sure. You know, maybe a lot of people say to me, Oh, Ingrid, well, you know, are you kids organized? I'm like, Yeah, but it's from a young age, you know, together tidying on not when they were babies, obviously. But as soon as they could play and kind of walk and pull stuff out of things. I was like, oh, wait a minute, when you pull stuff out, you can help you put stuff back in. So from that moment on, you know, and you start with five or 10 minutes, and, and it's all those kinds of habits that you then ingrain over time, and now every once in a while the kids go, Oh, hold on a minute, I want to tidy up my room, and I don't have to nag them. I kind of got occasionally I'm looking and I'm like in maximum, like, oh, it's bit of a tip in here. And he's like, yeah, yeah, but then he's studying and busy. And then suddenly, two days later, I come in, and I'm like, oh, it's nice and tidy. And yeah, did some tidying up yesterday. And like, oh, well, this is nice. You know what I mean? But so but that's 16 years, Lesley?

32:26
Yah, yah Ching. So you do have to you do have to be patient with the kids. And you have to realize that they need to go down their own pathway. And I spoke about this before, really that, you know, it's only when they have ownership of their own home, in my opinion, or their own space, even if it's rented that they actually the lightbulb properly goes on because they don't care as much if it's in your house. And you're not I mean, there's just something about when they get to a stage where they're paying for everything, and making the decision to rent somewhere or buy somewhere to house their stuff that they have a different association with it than when it's just stuff in their house that they've grown up with. So it's really interesting. Yeah. So yeah, you definitely need to be patient with kids. And I think you know, what we wanted to end on just flipping that around when we were talking about patients with other people. If you're ever in a position, where you you are going on a decluttering journey and need help from somebody else, whether that's because you struggle physically, where you struggle from mental health perspective, where you've got a professional organizer in with you, where somebody has come in and said, they want to help you for whatever reason. So you are kind of reliant on somebody else to help you through that process. Don't be afraid to explain that they need to be patient with you, you know, only accept that help if they are completely on board with the fact that it's your journey your way. So, so important, because it can be very damaging to a relationship. If somebody wants to help, and you're pushing them away all the time. It can be very damaging to you, if they're trying to force you into doing things impatiently faster than you want to do them because they're on a timescale over a week, they've got a weekend to commit to this. And so they're like, let's move through this. And you're like, I'm just not ready to go at this speed. And so get those parameters set in stone as soon as that relationship is, um, thought about thing, not relationship. They're the kind of process of helping Yeah, yeah, for sure. And I think that can really be so helpful, because I think in the end, the decluttering will be more successful and will probably go faster if you have really clear on what the boundaries are and what they can, expectations they have from you as well. And I think if there's a better balance in that, it will be much smoother when somebody else helps you so yeah, definitely Lesley. So while we've been talking and good, I have been thinking about examples of when you've not been patient

35:00
You're okay. Reagan, Reagan.

35:03
When people are late, yeah. And when you know, conferences and stuff if the dots start exactly on time, over dinner, if there's a delay in getting food

35:15
Am I right? I'll get very hangry.

35:19
Everybody who really knows me very well, who knows me closely knows at some, I think even I think there's actually loads of other organizers that know me from previous conferences. They're like to see me at one point, I'm like, turning around and like, I'm getting hungry. Now. Where's the food? I actually, like did last time, when I went to the conference, I from the conference room to that restaurant was like a bit of a track. And I liked it. I was like, I need to be first the buffet. I'm starving. This is not good for me. So

35:50
it's exact place. So yeah, I could carry on, but I won't. But yeah, as I reflected at the beginning of this podcast, that you weren't quite patient, but I think there are momentary lapses. Momentary lapses of patience, that would be my, oh, I hear you. I'm not even gonna fight this because

36:12
I think there are many examples of me playing the same kind of characteristic. So it's another example of do what we say and not do what we do

36:23
in this podcast, but I've quite enjoyed talking about patients. Yeah, it was good, really good. Talking about patients. Episode 300, is coming up next week. I mean, wow. Who would have thought back in 2018, that we would actually do three. And I know we say that every time when there's a big Podcast coming up. But honestly, we feel so privileged that people still tune in and just love it. And we get so much feedback. And it's just absolutely brilliant. So a big thank you to everyone who's been submitting questions for us. Yeah, we definitely have close to we have close to submissions now, because we've got plenty of questions. And we're going to be answering 10 listeners questions next week, in our 300th episode, how are we going to going to carry on this? I'm not sure I got the patience for this now.

37:17
Do we just keep on talking while people are still listening? I think so. That's how

37:24
I'm gonna live 85.

37:26
I don't think I'm going to have patience for you when I'm 85. And I know that's true. I've done

37:33
well, anyway, we have a lot of patience for you, listeners. So we appreciate you so much, honestly, more than you would know we absolutely adore you listening in every week. So thank you so much. I will see you next week. Bye, everyone.

37:52
Thanks so much for listening to the declutter hop podcast. Don't forget to subscribe to us in your podcast player, so you don't miss an episode. And we'll see you next week.
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Christina says:

25 June 2024 at 4:52 PM

I really enjoyed this episode. Patience is so important! I highly recommend taking a moment before the decluttering process to get clear and write down what you're hoping to achieve in decluttering – whether it is more space, less stuff. Understanding this will help when you start to lose patience and momentum. This took me a long time to understand, and now that I do, the process is so much more enjoyable.

Teaching my kids about stuff, the accumulation and the eventual decluttering that is inevitable. As a family we are much more mindful consumers. Giving them time and space to declutter their own things is a game changer. Thank you for another wonderful episode!

Reply
1. Lesley Spellman says:
  
  26 June 2024 at 11:14 AM
  
  Love that Christina. Such great advice. Delighted you enjoyed the episode!
  
  Reply
Episode 299 – The importance of patience when decluttering

Episode 419 – Why repairing is better than buying new with Martine Postma from Repair Cafe

Episode 418 – Nesting isn’t just for new babies

Episode 417 – How member Michelle Decluttered Her Way to a Fresh Start one floor up

Episode 416 – 10 Things To Do Before You Die from a Decluttering Perspective

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