A photo of Ingrid Jansen smiling into camera and a graphic of an anonymous person with a question mark
Episode 333 – Keeping your decluttering journey a secret with anonymous

Every once in a while one of our lovely Declutter Hub members feels brave enough to share their story on the podcast. This podcast is with a fabulous member who has asked to stay anonymous in our conversation. She has been decluttering her home with our help in secret for 2 years. Her family members are not aware she’s joined our membership and has been making fantastic progress. So we’re here to talk about how shame and judgement nearly prevented her asking for help and how treading the path of decluttering without the knowledge of others has worked for her.
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Transcript of this podcast episode
00:00
Every once in a while, one of our lovely declutter hub members feels brave enough to share their story on the podcast. Today's podcast is with a fabulous member who was asked to stay anonymous in our conversation, she has been decluttering her home with our help in secret for over two years, her family members are not aware She's joined our membership, and she has been making fantastic progress. So today we're here to talk about how shame and judgment nearly prevented her asking for help, and how threading the path of decluttering without the knowledge of others has worked for her. So hello and welcome anonymous to our podcast.

00:44
Hi Ingrid. Thank you very much for inviting me on today. Thank you.

00:49
You're very, very welcome. We are so delighted that you're here. This is also just for the avoidance of doubt, an audio podcast alone. We are not recording this podcast on video, because you really, really, really want to stay anonymous, but your story is just so brilliant, and we kind of went came together, and you were like, Yeah, I want to share my story on the podcast. And we were like, Okay, how are we going to make this work? And we figured it out, and now you're here, and we couldn't be happier about it. So thank you so much. So tell us how, what, what has happened? What? Why do you want to stay anonymous? Maybe that's the best thing to start there.

01:34
I literally haven't told anyone in my family that I've actually joined the membership. Okay? Because everyone I speak to basically says, let's just pick everything up, hire a skip and throw it away. And I just can't handle any of that. I need to be able to with control. Get rid of things, either take it to the charity shop, recycle it, give it away, do something. So I've had to take it slowly and at my own pace. Um, so I've just joined that. And I just I joined initially, for about 14 days into the membership, it didn't work for me, and I emailed you under your price promise, and you refunded me the money. And I joined again for the declutter hub challenges. And kept turning up and turning up and turning up. And eventually I threw myself into the decluttering because I was actually slowly making tiny amounts of progress, and that's what I wanted to do, but I still kept it secret. So it's like it's a big, big thing for me to keep it secret. And

02:30
with you kept it a secret. I mean, even the people that live in your house, right, your family members don't know. I mean, you've not told friends, you've no told family, and even the people in your house do not know that you're doing this. So why do you think that is?

02:47
Why have I? I don't want judgment. I think it's about the shame and the judgment and asking for help. Because often you get people making comments about, why? Why do you need that sort of support? Why do you want help? Why can't you just do it? I can do it. And it's like, well, I can't. I literally, you know, every time I pick up something, I can completely remember the emotions behind something. I mean, other things I can get rid of. So you always start with the kitchen. A lot of that was pretty easy, yeah, until you get to the mugs, obviously, yeah, you know, I had no issue with like, getting out all my all the Tupperware, that's easy because there is no lids, little plastic. Yeah, that's easy to deal with, but actual, certain things was really challenging.

03:39
And you finally decided, at some point, I need help. So you ended up with us. You said, you know, I joined, and then I just it didn't work for me at the time. I wasn't maybe you maybe weren't ready yet. What was it at some point about this challenge, because I think it was a researcher home challenge that you did. What made you think I'm going to give this another go? Because that's kind of, that's brave, right? You tried it before, at the time, it didn't work. So what was it that you thought I'm going to give this another go, and now I almost like for real,

04:16
shoes, absolutely shoes. So I joined in all of the counting confesses. Okay, I took photographs, and I joined in on all the Facebook pages, and I counted different things. So on some items, I was making progress. Okay, so like the mugs, the Tupperware, the bathroom, cleaning products, easy peasy shoes, I literally was counting for the fourth, fourth challenge in a row, I'm counting the same set of shoes and still going, oh my goodness, I don't wear these, but I can't get rid of them, because that one cost me a really load lots and lots of money. I can't get rid of that one because there's emotional attachment to that one. I can't do this because, and it's like, oh my god, none of these 15 shoes do I ever wear anymore. Because post pregnancy, my feet are changed, and I needed something else. And at that point, I thought, right, I will join and I will just give it three months. That's all I'm going to do. Three months. I've tried the 14 day trial that didn't work for me, but the trigger was getting the shoes out the door. And I joined the three months, and I'm still here. The best part, what's it two years later now? Yeah,

05:25
and what was it? Do you think this time that, you know, it was the shoes that kind of got you in? So what changed? What has changed? I mean, you've had an incredible journey. So can you tell us a bit like, what you were thinking at the time and how you slowly but surely over time changed. It's

05:44
Leslie's little phrase of nothing. Oh, I think it's like, if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got. And like, you know, it took me several times of hearing that and writing it down and actually going, that's what I'm actually doing, isn't it? I'm not actually moving forward all I'm doing. When you give me that challenge, as I open that drawer and I look at it and think, I'll dust those shoes down, dust them down. Ah, should I try them on? No, I haven't got time to try them on, because if I try them on, yeah, I'm gonna have to make a decision. I'll put them all back. I'll put more back. Now they're clean. Now they're tidy, but I'm still doing the same thing, and it was only after looking at my photographs and I'm thinking, I've still got the same set, and what am I doing? You know, just when you look back and you look at yourself and you think, why on earth didn't I do that? And it's like, because it wasn't the right time. And you know, it's like your little phrase of don't put it down, put it away. Also kept pinging into my head, because you the number of challenges that I've attended, you do hear the same sort of click phrases all the time, and it's like, once it gets into your head, it makes life easier moving forward.

06:52
Okay, so you came into the membership. What did you do? What? Where did it start for

06:59
you? I was terrified, absolutely terrified. Okay, so I don't do social media, so when I first saw the reset your home challenge, I thought that's a scam. Okay, I had to join Facebook for another reason, another volunteering role that I was doing, so I set up a page just for that, and then for I have no idea why your Facebook thing popped in at that stage, I'd never even listened to your podcast. So when I first came into that forum, I'm like, now I'm really terrified in here. Okay, so obviously you have to learn your way around, and you're the clutter hub. And membership is really helpful with all the little bits of you know, this is a tech talk around this is what you do. You can join this bit, this that. And I thought, forum, okay, I'm going to post something in that forum. Okay? And I posted something which is, like, really unusual for me to actually get involved. Now, when you know how much I post in the forum, now you'll be like, how on earth were you nervous? Yeah, I mean, because I post all the time, I thought, right, I'm going to post in there. And then, just after I joined, you did your 40 day 40 challenge, and you, you and Leslie did little, little videos each day for 40 days, and it led up to Easter, and it's like, right, okay, I'm going to do that. I'm going to watch those things. And I joined in from there and that, that just gave me, just gave me the little push that I needed. And when you say 40 things, I mean, some days I did a whole cupboard of things. It wasn't just one item. It was this is what we're suggesting you start with. Go and search. Show us what you do. Best thing ever. I absolutely love it. And like the members have carried that on for the last two and a half two years or so, isn't it? It's been going on for a long time now.

08:37
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So you started in the 40 days for the other shows within the membership, and then, did you follow our plan? Or were you like, I'm just gonna kind of see, because we have a road map in our membership where we advise what is the best way to do your house. So did you follow our road map, or are we like, I'm free styling this, and I'll see how I get on a

09:04
bit of both. A bit of both, is my honest answer. So when I first joined there was only one road map, whereas now you've got two, you've got your decluttering and you reset your home, which I absolutely love, and I think it's a brilliant change. I started with some of the initial like, you know what to do? How to do it with 101, do what this before you get started. But I was like, every new member that joins in and goes, I just want to go. I just want to pick my room of doom. And then you're like, and then I joined a success, success session. Or you're a Q and A, and you really, really did say that you've got, you've got to slow back down and go back to the beginning on this one. Yeah, and that. So then I did div back into it. And to begin, to begin with, I didn't understand about the pink ticks, I think, clicking off all of the so I didn't necessarily end up with all the ticks. But then I did certainly start to follow it. And I'm going back and following it, but I'm most of it. You know, I've done. Little bit by bit by bit, to be honest. Yeah, and the reset your home is now my next real focus. Because, for whatever reason, keeping up on top of keeping on top of, like, all my cleaning and the home maintenance just isn't in my mindset. And it's like, I literally, for whatever reason, it's not in my mindset, and I have to learn how to do this. And that's, yeah, that's where the declutter hub helps me. Yeah, because you're actually teaching me that for some people, it must be really obvious, because you go into other people's homes, it's all immaculate and tidy, but that's just, it's not there for me. Yeah, yeah.

10:37
And the thing is, we've all got things that we're good at. I mean, Leslie and I happen to be very good at decluttering and organizing for us. So for us, the day by day, the resets, the daily resets, the weekly things, the seasonal things that we do, make complete sense. And it's so wonderful for us that we can teach other people about these things. And you've done so well in your decluttering. And it's lovely to see now that you want to go and go, Okay, how do I start to firm up that maintenance? And how do I because I know you're you know the daily resets, you know you're doing, but I think you found out that the membership is so much more than decluttering and organizing and doing a bit of tidying on a daily basis. There's so much more in it. So for us, it's fantastic to see your journey as well kind of evolve and how now the the weekly and seasonal resets can really change the way you know you you run your house, and how you start to plan forward, because when you've got a lot of clutter, you can't do that. You can't think about it's going to be spring in a couple of months, and I need to plan a weekend to sort out my garden shed, because you're like, you're trying to find keys and you're trying to scramble your way through what are we eating this evening, and where all these things are going to go, and why do I still have the same 15 precious shoes that I can't wear and all of those things, right? There's no bandwidth in, in to to think about that.

12:09
And that's a really, really good way of describing it. It's like, you know, literally that I've recently, this will be more routing for the members here. I've recently pulled everything out of my living room, literally everything. It's all being cleared through, decorated, you name it, and then we've put back things, and it's beautiful. So now I can sit down in that evening and it's immaculate. You know, it's absolutely so by getting slowly, getting rid of those things over the last two years, gave us the ability to say, this room now needs decorating. Let's really go for it. And that's the stage we're at now. So this year we are really, oh, this year, I am really working on the resets, doing all of those bits and pieces, but we've also now got a long list of maintenance tasks that we want to do, and they're really ambitious, yeah, really like, let's pull out the whole of that room, and let's decorate it. Let's change curtains, let's look at flooring, let's put everything back in so and had I not got rid of other things, I couldn't say, Okay, well, I'm going to sacrifice that other spare room now, and I know it's only going to be for a month. We're going to take everything out of that one and then put it all back in. But it's only you know, it's it. We can move around. It's not like, oh my god, that that spare room's full. But I now need to add another load of rooms. It's not like that anymore. It's really clear. And the other thing I love about the membership is how you set your weekly challenges. So things like, you know, it's, it's Hoover maintenance, this this week, or vacuum maintenance. And it's like, who, who knows how to do that? Who thought that that's what you had to do? I mean, clearly, like, you gotta clean your dish. Oh, God. I'm sure that must have been somewhere in my the manuals, you must clean out your dishwasher, filter. And it's like, oh, cracking now I need to make you know, and that's what the road map gives to me. Because it's not my mind, isn't there. My mind is either on my work or my children on, you know, volunteering roles, it's everywhere else, yeah, but not on that.

14:06
So let's take a little break and we'll talk some more after the break. Hi everyone. We are back with our Anonymous members sharing with her, hi everyone. We are back with Anonymous, and she's sharing how joining our membership has actually completely changed her life, and why she was very resistant at the beginning, but now she's completely on board, doing fantastic work in her house. And during the break, you actually told me something really I was like, You need to tell this on the podcast, because this is really important, because I'm trying to figure out what you know, what's the shame and guilt that you felt? And you gave a perfect example, unfortunately.

14:49
So yes, a number of years ago, I invited someone in, a parent in from school, come into the house, oh, just close your eyes to the mess in the middle. Just come in. Just come in for a coffee and whatever. And they came in, they said, oh, oh, well, most people say, ignore the mess. They don't really mean it, but you really do, don't you? And I'm like, Oh, okay. So instantly, you know how you like you just feel very judged and how to come back from that. And it's, you know, it's it gives you a sense of, I don't really want people in my home anymore. Um, I didn't think my home was that bad. And, you know, yeah, it's it that's difficult. It's difficult. Yeah, I actually don't know what to

15:33
say, but what? Wow. Okay, that must have come in really, really hard, though, because you were like, did I just, did I just hear that? Right,

15:45
right? That's, that's right. And, like, I discussed it with another really, really good friend of mine, and she just said, Do you know what? What you gotta learn to do is focus on your kitchen. Keep your sink clear. Okay, because lots of piles of dishes, because you're just too busy, looks really, really anti and keep your bathroom clear. So I really took that on board, and that's what I've you know, I'm not, I wasn't the best at it back then. I've certainly got that cracked down now that I've joined the declutter hub, because it's a non negotiable. It's not a, you know, you talk about it all the time, but that was it. But that was the advice back then. And, you know, bearing in mind my children, I had lots of children under the age of, like, eight, so my decluttering wasn't even on my list. So I hats off to anybody that's joined this journey and has young children, because I find it really difficult. Yeah,

16:34
I think, I think it's really, you know, we've got so many things on our to do list, and, you know, with work and kids, and sometimes taking care of parents and sometimes poor health, and we juggle a lot of balls, and yes, we know that the clutter isn't helping, but how do you then find the time? If everything seems so overwhelming and it's full everywhere, you kind of know that the clotter is making everything worse. But where do you start? Right? And I think that's and then you see all these things. And then, indeed, a parent that comes over from school and says, Wow, oh, you really mean it, don't? You don't mind the mess. And and then it's like, it you can really, like, really be, you know, feel very hard on the inside. It can really come in, and then it's like, well, how do I get out of this? And how do I do that? And you guys all make it seem so easy, but I'm actually struggling here to even get my head around all the jobs and all the things. I

17:36
mean, I remember as a parent coming back from swimming once, you know, you know how you put your hands full, two kids keys. And I hadn't noticed I put the swim swim bag on on a wall outside, and it had fallen down, and it was only once I came to get the swimming kit. The week later, I thought I've lost it, and I couldn't find it. And it's not that took me, you know, it was a big learning curve just back then, was to actually find a proper hook to put these things on so that I always set up the, you know, instantly. But it was like I discovered that myself, but the declutter hub, just like does, helps you so much better, so much quicker. It was put my keys all in one space. I mean, that that's like game changer. When you and I, folks talk about put like with like, and all the time I keep that that just like is another thing that's always in my head, like with like, like, with like, come on. You gotta do this brilliant it's not easy. Decluttering is not easy at all. It takes time. It takes energy. But the after two years, I am so living the benefits of it. It's been absolutely worth it. It's been worth joining the membership. It's been worth putting the time in. Absolutely love it. Yeah, now,

18:51
if you look back then, was your house extremely full?

18:56
I wouldn't say it was extremely full. No, that's the thing is that I'm very privileged. I do live in a larger house, so I could easily hide things in cupboards. I mean, on that particular time I my dining room is next door to the hallway, so basically that's a dumping ground. So when you come in from the hall, there's no resets involved in my life at that time. So I used to really dump it. I have got I did have a classical room of doom that used to be a spare bedroom that no one really used, and it just all dumped into there. I did put things up in the loft, you know, like, literally, oh, car seat finished with that one. What do I do with it? Not sure if I can have another child. I'll put it up in the loft. Put it up in the loft. It's fine. It's fine. So maybe I'm describing a full home, and I'm in full denial, actually, but I could, I could always safely walk up the stairs. I could always use my landing on a on a Christmas that was a nightmare, because I'd often scoop up like all the extra bits, those, the sweet bags, the apps and. Gorgeous, sweep IKEA bags, and I pile them all up by my bed. So just because we'd obviously, I'd be having guests over on Christmas Day, and then I come to bed at Christmas Eve and like 12 o'clock and think I can't actually get into my bed. So maybe I did have more of a full home than I am actually even admitting to myself. And I think that's half half. Well, my issue, definitely

20:22
so and what was it then you think that was it, the fact that you wanted the stuff to go to the right place that was holding you up? Was it the time? Was it the procrastination, the decision making, if you kind of start to kind of backtrack a little bit. Can you or was it a little bit of most of that was a little bit of everything. But if you look back now, what do you think that it was? Um, deciding,

20:49
making a decision? I'm, I'm really good at putting decisions off. So, I mean, my family laugh at me, because if i i buy lots of clothes online and I put it off, actually wearing something new and deciding, I mean, I always get them back in time, but I'm a great by, oh gosh, I got tried that on five times before. I'm sure if I even like it or don't like it. It's the decision making I find difficult, and in all aspects, you know, I don't I think I'm fear, fear of getting it wrong. That's it. Think fear of am I going to make the right decision or wrong decision? And I can honestly stay in the last two years, there's only been one thing that I've regretted getting rid of, and it was an in error. So basically, when I was doing my kitchen, I had three Pyrex pie dishes, and I put two to keep because we do use two of them a week on a Sunday roast and one to go to the charity shop, and I put them in the wrong boxes, didn't I? And that's my biggest regret, is I got rid of one extra, not a single thing that's left my home. Have I gone? Oh, so I know I'm good at making decisions, yeah, but it you know, literally, I've been on success sessions with yourself and Ros, and I've literally had to make a decision about one item. And I've taken, you know, you've held my hand over a set of ballet shoes because I couldn't make a choice about getting rid of these. And it's that's really stuck in my mind about that decision. And it's like it took me those there are 50 minutes, aren't they? It took me 50 minutes, 50 minutes to decide on that one pair of shoes and but as you put it, that's the decluttering muscle growing. So it's the deciding, yeah,

22:28
yeah. I think also you're probably trusting yourself more to make the right decision, because you've now done your decluttering slowly but surely, exactly as we say, is the best way to do it. We don't support people getting skips and just chucking stuff away. Of course. You know, when you do a garage that's falling apart and the stuff hasn't been touched in in 20 years, that's a different story. But if you want to learn how to declutter and organize your house. And it's something that you dread doing. You feel really overwhelmed with slowly but surely, is absolutely key. And I think what you're describing is that your decluttering muscle has really grown in that aspect. We always say decluttering isn't perfect. You will make the odd mistake, but if in doubt, keep it you're just not ready to make that decision yet. That pie dish was an error that happens unlucky, but you're trusting yourself now more and more that you do know what the right decision in and is. And that doesn't mean that some things don't take longer to decide, but you're not like you say, I'm not really missing anything that I've decluttered because I feel in control of my decluttering. Yeah,

23:51
I'm not missing anything because I've gained so much more. I've gained space, I've gained free thinking, and I'm not looking at a muddle every time I go into the kitchen anymore. When I sit down in the evening, the living room is completely clear. In my dining room right now, yes, there are paperwork, but I've literally set the night this morning, and I've been working on them. I've taken a break to come and talk to you, but it will go away later. Later today, when I've finished doing that. It is going away. I put things away. Now that's, you know, I've had my sister's been really, really kind to me and gave me three days of her time to help me Declutter. This is 10 odd years back, and she wanted to work at such a pace off the scale of overwhelming, nearly came to, you know, blows. You know, not just like falling out with each other because she wanted just to make it tidy, to sort my kids toys out to do. And it's like that approach 100% didn't work for me, whereas this approach is where you've taught me. That's the thing is, you've taught me to how a method that works for me. So we. I'm forever grateful for

25:01
that. And you say, you know, it's given me time, it's given me space, and that just shows you that this slow decluttering approach really, really works. And did you think now looking back, did you get the space and the time far quicker, or Has it just been a slow growing just keep plotting on.

25:22
It's been an up and down struggle. To be brutally honest, it's not a straightforward line at all. Sometimes I've been too tired to, you know, my son had a had a car accident halfway through this whole process, and I'm like, I had to stop for a whole month. Like, literally, I was still part of the membership. I, you know, you, you guys, were really supportive about that actually happening, as in, like, you don't beat yourself up, just keep up with the resets. That's all you've got to do. You haven't got to keep decluttering. And it's like, it, it isn't straightforward. It is slowly every single day, if you can do it when you can't just forgive yourself, just go, that's what life is, yeah? Throwing at me at the moment, yeah,

26:06
yeah, yeah, yeah. And I also would like to know, because you mentioned, I think volunteering earlier. You're big on volunteering, right? And you've volunteered lots and lots and lots, has that changed over time, because we love Melissa and I, you know, love volunteering. We've volunteered a lot ourselves. When you look back now, are you seeing things in a different way, 100% so I

26:31
think one of the things that you go back to the nothing changes. If nothing changes, okay? So one of the key things is, how am I going to find time for this? And that's when I when I joined that membership. It's like, right? The 14 day trial did not work. So if I do join in the same way now, how am I going to make it work? So I looked at what how I was spending my time, and it's like, actually, I've got this piece of volunteering that I do that literally takes up two to three hours per day, every single day, every day, and it's like, that goes on for a whole year. I then take a break, and then something else, I'll take on another piece of that work. It's like, that's what I've got to stop, because if I don't stop that, I can't do this piece of decluttering because I can't fit, I literally can't fit it all in. So yeah, I do now go. Can't take that on, because if I do that, I can't do what's really important to me and my family. And I think there was a podcast recently about self care, and, you know, bringing in the fact that decluttering is self care. Who Who knew that I thought facials and nails done with self care? Who knew that coming down to an empty, clear kitchen every single morning is actually a form of self care, because it means that you've got the ability of thinking you you've got your ability of setting up your day going forward. You can just do it. It is self care. That's what. That's what this is. It's not, yeah, that's it's so important,

27:56
yeah. So were people surprised when you started saying no to things and 100% because

28:03
I'm someone that you know does get involved. And if that piece of volunteering that I've stopped, I've still stayed in contact with them. I did, did do it for literally a month because they were desperate. And it's like, okay, I really can't do this this. I am so determined this year to do our maintenance schedule, get my recess sorted, and finish off the decluttering. I can't, I can't take on that piece of work, and you still volunteer

28:27
lots of other things. It's not like you kind of just kind of down tools. That's right, right? That's it. Everything now goes you. But I think you know, prioritizing yourself, you know, and and your family. And I think we, I think sometimes we forget that we've only as far as well, as far as we know we've like we got one life to live, you know. And it's amazing when people do things a lot for other people, and they volunteer, and I'm the same, but at one point you have to go, okay, but I need to make sure that I'm sorted at home as well, that I've got, you know, I've got family, I've got a husband, I've got friends, I've got parents who all need something of me as well. And there's only so many hours in the day. And how do I make it work for me so I don't completely get overwhelmed by all the things that need doing. And if the cluttering is important, then something's got to give somewhere, right? Absolutely.

29:26
And like, the more that my family noticed that this, oh my goodness, this cup, it's really clear, Mum, yeah, I didn't even know you did that. And it's like, yeah, the more they notice, the little changes, the more it made me go, I've made the right choice there. It was a hard choice. I absolutely didn't want to give up that piece of volunteering wrong. 100% didn't want to do. But the changes in everybody's life is so much easier. You know? We just

29:52
so did you start with your stuff in your areas first and and then start to kind of work on other areas? How? Did that go?

30:00
Did the kitchen first, then also all the cleaning products, because that was part of the reset your home challenge. I gave a lot of a lot of that way to actually the Salvation Army church, who then gave it out as care packages. And then I thought, right, what's making the hardest part of my day so far? And I know you've got a road map and everything. Thought, my wardrobe. My wardrobe absolutely knocks me out every single morning. I've got to do that. So I was really lucky. Up in my loft, I had a clothes rail, a shop brought close rail for moving. So I literally, physically took every single piece of clothing out of my wardrobe, and I it's the rails big enough to fit everything on it, and then I sorted that through once you've so it was, yes, it was my stuff, but then there was a chain reaction, so literally, that my son goes, Oh, that's quite good. And then what you've done there, ma'am, I actually will think, I'll do that myself. Okay, so, I mean, sure that was exactly my face. Okay? He goes, you've got some charity bags? Yeah, I've got some charity bags. Here we go. And sure enough, he did exactly the same. I mean, that then he didn't finish the process of, did he just, like, dumped it. There we go, mom. Now you've got to deal with the taking it, but you know, he did it so his wardrobe. So by doing that, the laundry went through the cycle much easier, and because I could keep up with the laundry, because it's easy to put away, and because we, you know, it was just, it's a circle. It's just literally a circle. The more you do one thing, you find it easier in another. And then what, I can't even think what I moved on to next. But it was all my own stuff. I've never picked on anyone else's stuff. I don't go right, husband, I'm now starting in your study, because that's not, yeah, I wouldn't want him to do that to my stuff, so I wouldn't do it to his stuff, yeah,

31:51
but it did do a lot in your paperwork, didn't

31:54
you? Oh, Frankie, that that's an absolute godsend my paperwork. So that was an ongoing project for about 18 months. So started off with a like, with like, you know, let's get all of the paperwork everywhere, all together, okay? And then, you know, I've watched the I watched the paperwork courses. I did rough sorting. I've put, I think there's a whole thread of that in the membership, so people can actually see, see their way through it. I bought paper files, rather than the plastic files that you guys like, because I write, I wrote on I wrote messages on there. I wrote Action Lists inside the paper, paper envelope folders, and now everything's in a calyx unit. It doesn't look beautiful, okay? So it is not perfect. It is done. But I can literally go right. I need to find this piece of information for, say, like, you know, something to do with health. I had to find recently. I needed to find all my my previous glasses prescription. I wanted to see what that is. Compare it to this. I can literally go in, pick out the father said, health, open up and use it. And now I do like a like a bulk firing system. So, so I've just closed off 2024 and I'll start off another file that says 2025 and that took three sorts through. That took me three times to get it all sorted. My daughter was amazing and said, right, ma'am, I will shred everything. I know you've got this real anxiety, because I've talked about it in the Q and A's. I was going to go and take it to a to a bulk shredding place, it was just, I couldn't trust anyone to do that. And she sat there during this in between the summer holidays before she started her next study, and she literally shredded it in two days. She shredded every piece of, you know, the difference that that took me, what, six months, eight months, eight months, because it was off and on, wasn't it? I kept putting it in and yeah, but remarkable, and I would never have started that before. It's like, you folks telling me it's going to take a long time. Oh, okay, I thought I could do it in a day. Yeah, no,

33:56
you've learned a lot, haven't you, over time, massive.

33:59
I mean, like, so the sentimental course, So Leslie did a who's done a beautiful, beautiful walkthrough of all her sentimental items. And it's an absolute pleasure to watch her, if you're in the membership, go and watch it, because she did it, I think, during lockdown, and she's made it. And I thought, I've watched that course. I thought, brilliant, I can do that in a day, two days. That'd be easy. Because, look, no. Like, literally, I raised it a, Q, a to say, how long is it going to take you? Oh, at least three to four hours per week for the next six to eight months. Oh, okay, so I seriously need to put some time aside. And the biggest tip that Leslie gave me was, enjoy the process. Enjoy it. Yeah. Oh, okay. So you know all of those things like, yeah, for some people, that's just, obviously, that's what happens. But for me, I'm

34:45
I didn't know that, yeah, oh, I love it so much. I love it so much. So

34:49
if you now look back two years in the membership, tremendous changes. Do you think I mean. You feel that you've got to the secret for your family? Do you feel that your family members might know, or is it kind of like they really, honestly, they they have no idea.

35:12
They know I listen to podcasts, so if you happen to be in my car and yeah, that your podcast will come on, and they're like, Oh, can we put our music on? I'm like, Yeah, of course you can. So they so then they listen to that I most probably do talk about, oh, I'm decluttering this today, and I know that the wine they're wound up by the kitchen. So they must be working that I'm doing some sort of plan. But they've never gone. What's made this change? It's like, so, no, not really, yeah,

35:39
yeah, yeah, okay. But the fact they are on board, they are like, Wow, this looks amazing. Can I help? That's the thing that you hope for, right? You don't know if that's gonna happen. It won't happen overnight, but those are the things in the comments that really, kind of, I don't know, really fortify that what you're doing is on the right path, and that you know that what you are trying to achieve is trickling through the house. And how much do you how much calmer you feel yourself now? It's

36:14
the calmness for me. You know, I don't lose I do still lose things, but glasses are the worst. But you know, I don't lose keys. I just, you can just see when things are, you know how, like, clear surfaces are just magnets for stuff. You put one thing down, and then before, you know, there's 20 mugs all around that particular area, because there's so much other stuff and you don't necessarily notice it, that's not happening anymore. So it's a lot more, it's a lot better way of living,

36:40
yeah, yeah. You said something in because you were thinking about, Okay, what do I want to talk about in this podcast? And you said, it's better to keep up than catch up. And I thought I love that so much. And I think really what you mean is how the resets have really changed you, right?

36:57
Yeah, absolutely, completely keeping up with the laundry at one point, several years ago, it was like a huge mountain of things. Now it's not, it's part of my evening routine is that I literally go upstairs I check what's needed. Sort Yeah, sort out the laundry is there enough for tomorrow to run the washing machines. I liked it like it running first thing in the morning when I'm still at home, because if it leaks, etc. I'd like to be there. I load up that washing machine. So when I come down for the coffee in the morning, I press the coffee machine. I press the washing machine. I go in and have a shower, and then it's all, you know, it's all, it just flows. So that, yeah, so I've keeping up with that laundry. Yeah? I keep up with washing up. I keep up with things, it's much better. And even now to say I'm keeping up with the decluttering. So, you know how we'd like, I think we talk about, I've got five minutes and I'm in so and so room, I'll just open it up and quickly sort that little drawer out, because I've got rid of so much things I can now open it and think, Is there? Do I use all of these items? Because my drawers are half full. You know, they're not jam packed full. They're half full,

38:03
yeah. So if you've, you've really kind of seen now how having less stuff makes everything so much easier, and how, and I think you probably as well, over the two years, have really refined where you donate things to what your outlets are, you know, and probably that has helped you as well with finding the right place from it. And that doesn't mean that you you don't have tricky items sometimes right that that need further investigating or that need further looking into, but mostly you know where things are going

38:40
now, yeah, and like, OLIO has become my friend. So two years ago, I had to go to exactly the right person. It was like, it must go to the right charity. It must do. And now I now I've reasoned it is like, I like the word pay it forward. So in the past, when I started my, you know, having a home, 2030 from crikey, 30 odd years ago, I had no money whatsoever, and people gave me second hand things, free things. They helped me set up my first home. And now I've woken up to the fact that's the situation I'm in. So whether it goes to a charity shop for someone to buy, or whether I give away that item who votes to somebody that most probably really needs it. It's not like, you know, I've given away a light fitting because we changed something. It's like somebody, somebody's most probably really needs that piece of light fitting. Somebody needs those things, the baby things I gave, you know, gave away, and I'm so pleased because I, I helped my mum declutter her loft 18 months ago, and I'm taking out baby things that have been in there for 4550, years, and we're literally going straight from loft, straight to bin Yeah, and, like, it was like, helping her do that made me think I really don't want my children in four, you know, 20 odd years time going through my loft and just binning everything, because I'd rather give it away now to somebody that will use it. Yeah. Yeah, but yeah, 100% changed my mind in the last two years.

40:02
Yeah. I totally, totally love it. So any other words of advice or top tips to our listeners who've been listening into your story and are thinking, Wow, I feel that shame, I feel that embarrassment, I feel that judgment. I'm I'm a year with you. What would you like to say to your listeners?

40:25
Um, reach out for support. I think within the there's no shame in within the membership of the declutter hub at all, people put out, yeah, I've put out pictures of areas of my home that I've been horrified at how dirty they are. Not one person has said That's disgusting. Everyone's being supportive or well done for doing it. And the other thing that I've taken away recently, if a job's worth doing, it's worth doing badly. So basically, just start, you know, just start with whatever decluttering you're doing. It. It's like a habit formation, isn't it, once you start the whole process, you're just going to get better at it. So, you know, once I first started the washing up, I was slow, it was tedious, and now I'm really fast. I'm really I did it every single day, and I'm really fast at it. So it's just get involved, get asked for help. I mean, that's the biggest thing is, I think I've asked for help and I got, once you found the right person to give you that help, there isn't shame there at all. All

41:20
right. Well, thank you so much. If there's anything else you like like to share, let us know now. But I think I just wanted to say thank you so much for coming onto the podcast today, for sharing your story, your ups and downs with decluttering. It's never you know. It's never a straight line. It's it's, you've got hard times. Sometimes things just go easy and they're flying, and other times you get a curve ball your way, and you're going to have to deal with it. But I think what I really enjoyed so much is that you really said, you know how decluttering is, is a form of self care. I think that is absolutely fantastic. And I I truly, truly believe in that, and it's wonderful to have you in the membership and to see your amazing progress and the way you've been going at different projects is absolutely superb. So thanks so much for being here today, being our guest.

42:15
I've really enjoyed it Ingrid, and I've enjoyed being a part of the declutter hub. The support is amazing. So thank you so much. Um, thank you.

42:23
You're very, very welcome. So thank you listeners for being here today with our anonymous guest. And we hope that, yeah, this this podcast is really resonated with you. And if you think of yourself, oh my gosh, I'm really, really struggling. Check out our membership. We help people all over the world with that clutter. Whether it's a lot of clutter, a little clutter, it doesn't matter, but it's how it makes you feel, and how you can change that feeling of that overwhelm, of that shame and of that guilt and that judgment into something that you feel happy and positive about in a home that feels right for you. So thanks so much for listening, and we look forward to seeing you again next time you.
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Recent Posts
Episode 350 – 10 party supplies to declutter from your home today

Episode 349 – Tidy up your life with guest Tidy Dad

Episode 348 – Are you ready for tough love when decluttering?

Episode 347 – Dealing with grief after losing a pet with guest Kevin Spurgeon

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Angela says:

27 February 2025 at 7:21 AM

Loved this pod cast this lady is amazing I totally understand why she done what she done I wish I hadn’t told anyone one as so true people do say just throw it away i was doing same thing But Lesley are great Ingrid.

Reply
1. Ingrid Jansen says:
  
  3 March 2025 at 10:05 AM
  
  Thank you Angela for letting us know you loved this podcast. We've had lots of positive comments about anonymous sharing her story.
  
  Reply
Stef says:

18 February 2025 at 9:54 PM

This was so inspiring! Thank you for sharing. Thank you especially for sharing that horrible experience with the other kid's parent who was so rude and out of line because sometimes rude and ignorant people do set us back and you were able to overcome it. I think resets will help me a lot too because I can get things looking nice bug a few weeks later it doesn't anymore.

Reply
1. Ingrid Jansen says:
  
  19 February 2025 at 9:44 AM
  
  Hi Stef, thank you for your comment. Yes, resets will be the game changer in your decluttering journey and we would highly recommend them.
  
  Reply
Episode 333 – Keeping your decluttering journey a secret with anonymous

Episode 350 – 10 party supplies to declutter from your home today

Episode 349 – Tidy up your life with guest Tidy Dad

Episode 348 – Are you ready for tough love when decluttering?

Episode 347 – Dealing with grief after losing a pet with guest Kevin Spurgeon

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