A photograph of a smiling Jo Middleton the podcast guest ready to talk about going from chaotic and cluttered to orderly and organised

Episode 8 – My Decluttering Journey From Chaotic and Cluttered to Orderly and Organised

Our guest today is Jo Middleton who was a client at The Clutter Fairy. It’s important that we get perspectives on decluttering from people who have had clutter and disorganisation in their lives and have turned a corner. Jo talks all about her experience both as a client of The Clutter Fairy and all her work independently in the years since, and her overall decluttering journey.

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Transcript of this podcast episode

Intro  0:07  
Welcome to today's episode of The Declutter Hub Podcast, your channel for super easy, no nonsense advice on how to declutter and organise your home. Please welcome your host professional organisers, Ingrid Jansen, and Lesley Spellman.

Lesley  0:28  
Hello, listeners and welcome to Episode Eight of the Declutter Hub Podcast. I'm Lesley Spellman and today I'm absolutely delighted to welcome Joe Middleton. Joe was a client of mine at the Clutter Fairy I think five years ago now. I think it's really important. We get perspectives on decluttering from people who have had clutter and disorganisation in their lives and have turned a corner. And I know Joe will be the perfect person to talk to all about her experience, both as a client to the clutter fairy and all her work independently in the year since. Welcome, Joe, and thanks for taking the time to talk to us. Hi, Leslie. So do you want to introduce yourself to our listeners and tell us a little about a little bit about your family life?

Speaker 3  1:05  
Yeah, hi, I live in quite a nice Edwardian semi, with my husband and two children. And we will have dental practice together. And the house is great. I'm really lucky, it's quite a big house. The downside of that is spare rooms and clutter that built up. And when I say built up, you probably couldn't even get into the rooms, there was so much stuff in it. So hence the call the clutter fairy and that's where my life took a turn for the better.

Lesley  1:36  
So what was it that made you pick up the phone to ask for help?

Speaker 3  1:40  
Well, to be honest, we moved into the house when Finn was one Jacob was four. And you know, it's like when you move house, you just leave boxes, you keep thinking we're gonna go through them gonna go through them. And then we waited as ever, and then eventually fin start school. And I thought, right, this is it, I'm gonna get on top of it myself. But unfortunately, Finn felt very poorly with cancer and was on treatment for quite some time. And then once he finished the treatment, the mess is still there. And it was 10 times worse, because we've done nothing, we just left it and it wasn't a priority. And I felt that that was a time that I needed to get on top of the house. Because having got through the illness, I felt that every time I was at home, I was stressed every time I walked into a room and you can imagine we have people wanted to come and see us and we couldn't put them up though it was just horrendous. It was just boxes from moving in still sitting in all the different rooms. So I heard about the clutter fairy. And she was a fairy that arrived on my door. And it was just honestly, great.

Lesley  2:43  
That's I mean, it's obviously it's so tough what you went through, but it must have been really, really difficult for you to pick up the phone and ask for help after everything that you've gone through.

Speaker 3  2:51  
I think asking for help. It is it is difficult, but I suppose it was in the place where I was that desperate? You know, so I really do need this help. I thought I was going to be embarrassed more than anything. Because when you invite somebody into your home, and they can see the quality of hoarded and not done, you worry what you know what you're going to find? Do you think people will think crack is Where's all this come from? Do they not throw anything away? And I probably didn't throw anything away? Because you always find throwing away stuff, aren't you in case you need it again. And that was my biggest thing? What I might need it. And I kept it because I might need it. And if I'm honest, I probably needed it once in 10 years, and I still had it you know. So

Lesley  3:33  
I think that's it, I think you picked up on a couple of the emotions that most clients before they pick up the phone feel so feeling guilty about how they've got to that point. And obviously for you, then there's a very, very specific reason for that, and everybody would completely understand. But still, I'm sure you probably felt guilty at the time. You're embarrassed about the state of the house, I'm worried about someone and and somebody coming in and judging you. And I think also quite apprehensive about the process as well in as if somebody is going to come in and just make you through all your things away. And if that's not necessarily what you want to happen. So I think guilt embarrassment and apprehension are definitely the three emotions that I see most from my clients when I first go in and meet them for the first time. So you so you made that call to the contrary. And how did it make you feel just you know, when you just made that initial call and made that decision? It's almost getting to that getting to that point, isn't it and making that decision is the hardest hurdle sometimes. Yeah, I

Speaker 3  4:29  
think it is. I think what helped was encouragement from my husband, because he was he could see how stressed I was getting about the house. And if I'm honest, we were fighting over silly things. Because you know, when your house is a mess, you literally can't see the wood for the trees. And so when the kids come in to make the normal cannabis on top of the Hardy kind of mess, it just makes everything look 10 times worse. So having his support and him saying you've done the right thing that was great. And it did feel like a weight then I thought finally someone's going to come in and help me do This because it was just too mammoth a task for me to face. I just kept shutting the door, literally just going, I can't face it, because it's just so overwhelming, isn't it? It's overwhelming. Yeah, you don't know where to start, you literally when you open a room, and you've got piles of stuff in boxes, and you don't want to get through, you don't want to throw everything away, do you. But what I found was he, you'd move it from corner to corner, and then you'd make more of a mess because you didn't see a box. And then you still didn't know what to do with this stuff. And

Lesley  5:26  
it's hard to keep motivated, particularly if you've got a lot of rooms that you've got to tackle all at once. And so it's it's a really tricky, overwhelming time. And, you know, sometimes if you can get somebody and that just takes the kind of thinking away from it a little bit, obviously, you've got to make all the decisions yourself. But the process is thought about for you and you're guided through that process

Speaker 3  5:46  
is boring on your own as well though, it's really boring, and you weren't boring less than you came in. And we had a laugh the whole time. You know, and that did make it easier. You did laugh at some of the stuff you found in my house, you know, nothing rude, you know? And that kind of made it easy. And you were great at saying really, Joe Are you do you really need this? You know, and the one thing and you might laugh is I couldn't get rid of my flags. Kedah know you couldn't always a party that needs a flag, and Mexican or English, whatever it is. But we found a home for the flags, because at the time I think they were just in carry a bag soon. No, no, it's not many people keep as many flags as I do.

Lesley  6:25  
Know, but everyone's got their thing. And that's and that's that's what makes you tick. You know, and you know, of course, I'm not a big party thrower like loads of flags. But that's not to say that you don't. So we got started, I turned up on the doorstep with my nan wings and Nan to to sadly not much of a fairy. So what was the process? Was it like you're expecting it to be or was it worse? Better? You said that you enjoyed the press? Yeah,

Speaker 3  6:49  
no, it was much better. It was much better because it was fun. And you came in and you were so organised compared to my disorganisation, you kind of knew. You said, right, this is what we're going to do. And so we kind of had a coffee, talk through it, this is what I'm gonna do, you came with your magic fold up baskets. And that was great, you know, putting stuff in baskets. And so I didn't have to make a decision straightaway as to throw it in it. It was a case of right, Joe, that really does not belong in this room. You know, I can't even remember if an example now. But you put it in the basket go, that should be the boys bedroom. Well, that should be here. So it was finding the right home for that item, or equally putting in a box to say, Should we leave that for a bit and decide whether you really need it? So

Lesley  7:33  
I know. And I think sometimes it can just for some people, it's not necessarily about having somebody to guide them. Sometimes just having somebody there that is encouraging to make a decision at that moment in time can be quite empowering as well. So quite often when I'm working with people, I don't really need to do a lot other than be there. You know if that makes sense? Yeah. So it's just about, you know, allowing that person to be empowered to make those decisions on their own. I think the organisational stuff is important, obviously, because we need to create a system it's obviously got into a state because the systems are not there. And there's not everything in its place in a place where everything got that the wrong way around. Yeah. That's not good. And so but yeah, so that's so so it was as your as you expected, and the organised organisational thing was really what what made it count for you?

Speaker 3  8:20  
Yeah, I think, yeah, just being able to talk it through with somebody and I think you organise things that I didn't realise need or needed organising. We went through everything from paperwork to close to everything. And, I mean, I obviously had a room which was a craft room, because I've always done a lot of stuff with my kids. And like I said, we're lucky we had that spare room. Well, it was a bedroom as well for guests, but you'd be hard pushed to find a space for the guests to get in it. And that stresses me out because my family live in Ireland. And when you having people to stay, it becomes a trauma, getting a room ready for them. And I felt like it was absolutely every time somebody came. All I was doing was bagging stuff up and throwing it into a different cupboard or a different room. To me. My office was horrendous. It just had everything in it. So it was like I remember going through daft things like the ribbons, the threads, all those kinds of things and deciding did I need that T centimetre thread? Yeah, any longer. And it sounds petty but getting the right organisation for everything was fantastic. I think

Lesley  9:23  
that's the thing. Sometimes you've got you've, you've literally got to leave no stone unturned and every single thing in your house has got to be locked out at some point. And you would never do that on your own because it can, it can be quite tedious unless you're guided in a certain way to do that. So what did you like best about the process?

Speaker 3  9:40  
I actually liked the fact that I liked how I felt after it. So we didn't do it. So yes, it seems like a mammoth task. But what we did last in what was great was you came in and you said I'm not coming in for like six days to do this. We're going to spend a couple of days and we'll do this area. And then you went away and then you came back and we did another area So gradually went through it. So it wasn't massively overwhelming. It wasn't the whole house. So then after like each room, we're done. I just felt like a huge weight. And I felt like great. I know where to put everything now. And I think knowing that that room was done, it was one less off. It was ticked off the list, wasn't it?

Lesley  10:19  
Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Do you know what I've actually got? before and after pictures of your craft room? I think because it was an unjust spare room, I think so i'll post those on the show notes as well so that people can see that, oh, that transformation. I know, you've changed those rooms quite sick. My house, decorated them, but they're still they do look grey. And so I think it's worth putting that on. So listeners can see that. Definitely, definitely. So it's a few years, about five years since we weren't together and I still stayed friends, which is great. And I always see your name popping up on all these Facebook selling sites. I'm like, That's my girl. She's still decluttering. So how it's gonna turn. So So decluttering still going on.

Speaker 3  10:57  
So much so that after, so when you came in, and we went through my kitchen, and we did everything, but when I actually eventually decided to get a new kitchen, put it and it was like I remembered everything you said, and I had the kitchen designed around our organisation that you've instilled So straightaway, now the kitchen is organised and it is always organised. Now don't get me wrong, there are days when I say right, today, today, I'm going to clear out that Tupperware cupboard because really there are 25 lids and six boxes, or 25 boxes and six lids. So I still do that you can't, no one's perfect. And I'd love my kids to put everything away where it should go. But I still find things all over the house. It's just that I now can say to them, that doesn't live there. You know where it lives, go and put it in that box or put it in that room.

Lesley  11:44  
And it takes some training, it takes you know, it takes training for yourself. It takes training because you know, certainly kids. So often they're told just go and tidy room and they don't know where things go because things have not got a specific home. And so that's always that's always quite difficult.

Speaker 3  11:59  
But it takes me less time to tidy the rooms if I've got to provide to them for them to do it. Because any room really because I say do it and they don't. Everything has its home before he used to be looking for nooks and crannies to shove things in. Whereas now I just open the cupboard and go right that's in there that's in that little box.

Lesley  12:15  
So tidy up makes the tidy. Yeah, exactly, exactly. So that's, that's all about the clutter fairy. So my new venture that declutter hub is all about motivating educating and supporting people to declutter and organise the homes more independently online, so they're not going to get a one to one service like you did, it's completely different. So how do you think that will work? Do you think it can take the place of having someone one to one in your home?

Speaker 3  12:48  
Well, I think if you've got these courses that are written down, they're going to be in huge detail, it's going to make a massive difference to somebody because, again, they can read the course and I'm sure it's gonna break down exactly where they need to start. I was just too overwhelmed. So think if you've got a step by step guide, for every single room in the house, be brilliant. Like I said about the kitchen, we've all got Tupperware shoved all over the place. And it would be great to have somebody say, right, do this, and we did the spices. And that also is less overwhelming, because you can just spend an afternoon and say, right, I'm gonna do the tough way this afternoon. And I think if you can go online and see that and you're talking somebody through, I think it'd be fantastic. I think that's

Lesley  13:26  
it. So some of the things that you've mentioned, they'll go into the courses. So talking about the sort of two centimetre lengths of ribbons that you talked about that will be in a course somewhere, because that's our experiment and Ingrid's experience, and we'll bring that to the course. And so what we, what we don't aim to do is to just say, right, 50 minutes, go and declutter a drawer and ask yourself these questions and throw it out, it's gonna go into so much more detail than that, and the psychology psychological aspects of it, and so on. So it's, it's much more than what's been out there before, really, and been no stone unturned. So, yeah, and it's about I think it's really important that people have got accountability as well. So, you know, just being part of a big community. Just being part of a big community is really going to help people to keep motivated. That's important, man, you've managed to do that on your own. But you still do you know, you follow my face? Yeah. Just to see that. You need something don't used to just keep you on track and to give you little ideas, because we're not all perfect our way. Well, no, well, I'm definitely not.

Speaker 3  14:28  
Exactly, yeah, no, thank you. Right. I think if you're in part of a community as well, though, everybody learns from everybody else. And I think it's the fact that you feel like you're so messing when I go to other people's houses or be prior clutter fairy. I used to walk in and think right, they've got three kids full time job, their house is immaculate, they OCD or am I just really messy I just awful at this. And so I think other people must feel like that as well. So if there's other people or forum and they say, Look, I'm working, I'm doing this, how do I keep this clean? It's good. In little hints and tips are following your courses and you won't feel quite so alone, I suppose. And also people must be swapping hints. I'm sure you'll learn from people and mistakes. We've all made mistakes as well, because when I'm tidying up a thing, I thought that was a great idea. And then I realised it wasn't, you know, so.

Lesley  15:17  
Exactly, exactly. So yeah, so just to sort of go through what we're gonna have, we're gonna have a Facebook group, that's a free Facebook group. And then within the members area, we've got a private community where people can really go into a lot more detail. Some people would like it to be private, don't want to go public with our decluttering journey, for obvious reasons, but I think there's gonna be lots of motivational chat from other people. There's gonna be lots of inspirational hints and tips, hopefully, from Ingrid and I, but I think there's gonna be a community of people are gonna be chatting amongst themselves on burdening things, you know, when things go wrong when things go right. And it's important to be there. Is there anything else? You think it'd be interesting to our listeners, before we finish today, Joe?

Speaker 3  15:57  
I think the forum is going to be a big thing for you really, if you can get people talking? Oh, you've caught me now. Let's see. I'm just trying to think it just sounds so perfect. describing myself.

Lesley  16:09  
Well, okay, well, let's leave it there. Thank you so much, Jeff, for coming in to share your experience with us. I think it's really, really important to me that our listeners hear it from the horse's mouth, and not just from me, and Ingrid saying, Oh, this is amazing. This is amazing. I think, you know, whether you do it on your own, or whether you do it with with, you know, this can be a friend. You know, I think it's a really important thing too, for people's wellbeing for people. You know, people want to be proud of their home and want to enjoy the home. And we spend a lot of time in our homes. And it needs to be a place that you feel comfortable that you want to raise your family and that you're not embarrassed about

Speaker 3  16:41  
think that say I just wanted to be able to open the front door and not be panicking every time that it was going to look. I mean, don't get me wrong. I don't want it looking lifting. I just didn't want all the extra clutter around the place. But I have to say I felt you coming into me it was like having a life coach. It was a massive weight off my shoulders, not just tidying the house. But it was a whole experience of me becoming more organised. It meant once I went back to work in the business were more organised there. The paperwork we're on the ball with it was a massive to say was life changing experience. I know it sounds a bit dramatic. But at that time, it actually was because Finn have been so poorly, that when you step Tim, you were like my little lifesaver. And I'd you know Finn was sick for like four years. And there's a lot of time to spend in the house with a little boy who's brilliant now do really really well. But yeah, you were like you were my guardian angel at that time, I think covered in a sorting all out for me.

Lesley  17:35  
So nice to hear. Thank you so much. So that's it for today. For today's episode of The declutter podcast do Come on, follow us on social media. And if you don't want to miss an episode, subscribe to our podcast podcast. Thanks for listening and see you next time.

Outro  17:52  
Thanks for listening to this week's episode of the declutter hub podcast. Check out declutterhub.com For more inspiration, and don't forget to tune in next week.

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Episode 346 – Pros and cons of decluttering one item a day

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Episode 346 – Pros and cons of decluttering one item a day

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Angela Cree says:

25 May 2021 at 8:27 PM

Great podcast with Jo. Have the before and after photos mentioned within the podcast been removed?

Reply
1. Lesley Spellman says:
  
  26 May 2021 at 8:28 PM
  
  We'll dig them out and add them back, Angela. Thanks for letting us know x
  
  Reply
Pauline Crossley says:

9 November 2018 at 8:26 PM

It is well worth using this service – it came at the right time for me but I could use it again right now.

Reply
1. Lesley Spellman says:
  
  9 November 2018 at 10:27 PM
  
  Thanks Pauline, you know where we are. Hope all’s well with you. Lovely to hear from you x
  
  Reply

Episode 8 – My Decluttering Journey From Chaotic and Cluttered to Orderly and Organised

Episode 346 – Pros and cons of decluttering one item a day

Episode 345 – 10 things to declutter from your junk drawer

Episode 346 – Pros and cons of decluttering one item a day

Episode 345 – 10 things to declutter from your junk drawer

Episode 344 – Helen Flanagan talks clutter, ADHD and managing a home with a young family

Episode 343 – Dealing with the passage of time when decluttering

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