A graphic of a messing living room with clutter everywhere
Episode 226 – Help Me To Declutter – How To Ask For Help

Have you ever been in a position where someone has offered to help you with your decluttering project? Sometimes it’s the best thing in the world, but often it leaves you feeling out of control and bereft. In this podcast we’re going to talk about why.
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Transcript of this podcast episode
[00:00:00] Ingrid: Have you ever been in a position where someone has. Offer to help you with your decluttering project. Sometimes it's the best thing in the world, but often it leaves you feeling out of control and bereft. In today's podcast, we're going to talk about why

[00:00:17] Lesley: Now today's a very serious podcast, isn't it Ingrid? Actually, because we have a little bit of a. We have history with this kind of stuff, don't we?

[00:00:27] Because I bet, I'm sure most of you know, but we've both been professional organisers where we work one-to-one with clients, and we've done that for 12 years. And in our time as professional organisers, we have seen sometimes. Most of the time the damage that has been done by people coming in and helping other people.

[00:00:46] Now, it's fair to say that people who call us in are still struggling with their clutter, and there will be a whole lot of people who had a clutter problem and no longer do because that person did an amazing job. So it's not always a negative thing. But sometimes it is. Sometimes it's something where you felt completely out of control.

[00:01:04] You didn't know what was going on. You thought that your stuff wasn't being valued properly and not looked after and stuff was going into bin bag's left, right, and center, and you didn't know what was going on. And we wanna talk a little bit about that. Now, it's interesting because this is going to be relevant to you if you are the person who's been on the receiving end of help.

[00:01:23] So somebody has come in and helped you in the past. And there will also be, listen, people listening to this podcast who have got someone in their family, someone in their friends that they'd love to help. And so it will give you, either way, wherever you are, it will give you some practical hints and tips about the kinds of things that you need to think about when you are offering help or when you are offered help.

[00:01:43] Ingrid: You know, the thing is, Lesley, when people help other people or when you accept help, it's all really well-meaning, isn't it? It's like with the, yes, absolutely. That it's with the best intentions, but there's sometimes a lack of communication, a lack of trust, a little bit, a lack of, oh, well, we'll see how it goes.

[00:02:04] And then there's not been really put any boundaries up and then things can kind of. Go wrong, can't they? And they can escalate and in the worst case scenario, you'd, you'd lose a friend or a family member over these kind of things because it can really go wrong. So we thought we really need to talk about that.

[00:02:23] You know, indeed, if you need help, but also if you want to give help to somebody, what are the things that take into consideration? 

[00:02:31] Lesley: Yeah, I mean, it is easy for us to say, to sit here as professional organisers who, who we can provide all of the things that we're going to talk about today, all of the things that might go wrong.

[00:02:40] We can make sure that those kind of things don't go wrong, but a professional organise having, but having a professional organiser in your home who's not. Possible for many, many people. And so we wanted to just give you those practical hints and tips. So first things first, we're going to talk about some of the emotions related to stuff and why having somebody else involved in the decluttering process might not be such a great thing.

[00:03:02] Ingrid, 

[00:03:02] Ingrid: yes, because of course. A lot of people who have a lot of stuff have a connection to that stuff, and we always bang on about, it's not about the stuff, it's about the emotions. But for somebody who offers their help, it's like, well, let's just get rid of the stuff. My friend has asked me for help. I'm going to help, and I'm going to help by getting a bin bag and throwing stuff in the bin that I think are rubbish.

[00:03:27] But what they completely forget to ask is, You the one who owns the stuff, how do you feel about it? Because they think the practical help is in the, I'm going to put something in the bin bag instead of the, wow. Let me get an understanding of why this person is holding onto this. 

[00:03:45] Lesley: There's a couple of things that I want to talk about.

[00:03:47] So when you decide that you want to help somebody, or if they, or even this can also be that that person has asked for help as well. So it's not always just that you, you know, kind of force yourself on somebody. It's also that somebody else has asked for that help as well. So, you know, but sometimes it still goes wrong, even if the person's asked for help.

[00:04:02] You know, e even as professionals, people come all the time and ask us for help, but somehow they don't really want it and it doesn't go as well as it might do. And so I think that the big problem really is that if you are going into help quite often you have your own goal in mind and your goal. And this is all.

[00:04:19] And we, we we're saying this cause I'm sure if you've been receiving you like, oh Lesley, I'm going to be really mean. I was just trying my best. Absolutely. But if you think about it, your goal is going to be different to that person. And so you might say, you know what? I really, really need to go and help my Auntie Mary or whatever, and I'm going to go in and I've got.

[00:04:36] Next Saturday free, and I've got the following Saturday free. So I've got those two days and we need to get this job done. The house is cluttered as anything. It's going to take a while. So we need to crack on and get moving through this to get the job done because the thing about you as an individual, people's individuals, you don't have tons and tons of time to spend on these things.

[00:04:56] Your time is precious and you have to go through this stuff at a rate that perhaps the person is not ready for. So we wanna talk about timings in the first instance in terms of. It's really important that when you work with somebody that you try and understand how long you feel or they feel that they would be able to emotionally go through this process with you.

[00:05:19] Now, when we are working as professional organisers, we never work more than, I'm going to say, four to five hours max. I mean, sometimes we do, if we're doing house moves and things and we have no choice, but generally, if we know that it's going to be an emotional journey, we have a vet, we have shortish sessions because we know.

[00:05:35] That it can become emotionally draining and exhausting. It's exhausting making decision after decision after decision, particularly if we're, you know, pulling you effectively out of your comfort zone and asking you to make decisions that you're not really that comfortable with or you've not made for a while.

[00:05:50] I. And so it's really important if you're going to help somebody that you don't go, I've gotta do it this weekend, and I've got like Saturday and Sunday, and we're going to do eight, nine hours at a stretch because that's not going to work. It needs to be broken down into a session that is going to work for the person that you're helping.

[00:06:05] Yeah, 

[00:06:06] Ingrid: I think a lot of people underestimate how tiring decluttering and organising is. I mean, Lesley, we've done it for, for over a decade. We've each have thousands of jobs under our belts. We know we even get tired sometimes after five hours. And it's been, you know, a, a, a big job and there's a lot of things that need to happen.

[00:06:27] It's really tiring, but people just think, oh, it's just a bit of clutter that's tidy away. But, but when you're in the throes of it and in the middle of it, And you start to realize, wow, this is a lot more work than I thought it's going to be. The decision making is a lot slower. Something that I would throw away easily.

[00:06:44] There's this person is struggling with, and then it gets really like it can get under your skin and it drains your energy. So you have to really take that into consideration when you're helping somebody. But also from, if you get help from somebody else, understand that this person might get frustrated because you might not be quick at all.

[00:07:04] While they think, well, it's an easy thing, it's a plastic container, it's broken, it can go, and you might go, yeah, but, but, but because you, you, you haven't been decluttering anything for a long time, so it might be really difficult for you. 

[00:07:19] Lesley: Yeah. So I think time skills are really important to kind of make it manageable and, you know, for it to be calm.

[00:07:25] That's the, that's the main thing that we try and do if we can, as professional organisers and even as professionals, sometimes, you know, time is money and we have to go through things faster than perhaps we would like, and so, you know, it's not even easy for us to make those. Um, To make those choices is Ingrid.

[00:07:41] But I think one of the other things that I want to talk about that we talk all about for yourself, so when we are talking about you decluttering your own house, we always talk about goals, don't we? Goal setting. What's your goal going to be? And sometimes when people come in and help you, there's a mismatch between your goals and their goals.

[00:07:59] So their goals is, I want to help my Auntie Mary to clear the clutter from her house so that she can live a more fulfilled life, a simpler life, a safer life, whatever those things are. And Auntie Mary's goals might be, I just want to chip away at this a little bit and see how I get on and, you know, my, my nieces are offered to help me and I wanna see whether or not this is going to work, but I wanna take it at my own pace, in my own time.

[00:08:22] And so, Goals are quite often very, very different. And that's where worlds collide and that's where resentment and upset happens quite often, isn't it? Ingrid? Yeah. 

[00:08:32] Ingrid: I think you know what, A lot of times there's not, it's not clear what the big picture goals are, but also what can we expect short-term, middle term?

[00:08:43] How long is somebody prepared to help? How long does a. The person themselves think it will take, you know, we always say break it down, keep it small, you know, because if you say, okay, I want help with my, with my dumping ground, with my spare bedroom, the help might go, right, let's do this. You might go, Oh, oh, actually I've completely underestimated this and this is a far too bigger goal while the other person is still in the firm mindset.

[00:09:11] After three hours, we need to do this. We need to crack Now, crack on. While in the process, you might think to yourself, I'm actually, this is this. Is far to be, I've cho chewed off a bit that I can't, how do you say that, Lesley? Bit enough. More than, bit enough, more than I can chew. And then during the decluttering and the helping, there becomes a mismatch.

[00:09:35] While in the beginning, maybe the goals were very clear. 

[00:09:38] Lesley: It's all about that communication. I'm going to talk a little bit more about that later. I want to talk a little bit about. What has happened before now, quite often when people are helping somebody else to Declutter it, it's often a family member isn't Ingrid, and often these family members have lived in the home before.

[00:09:56] So it might be that you make a decision that you want to go and help your mom, your dad, your grandma, your granddad, whatever that might be. And, and so, and if you have lived some of your childhood, some of your teenagers, some of your younger adulthood in this home where you felt that it's very chaotic and counter counterproductive to what you wanted, you may be harboring some kind of residual resentment about it.

[00:10:19] And so whilst you want your mom, dad to make the right decisions, and you want to do it for all the right reasons, and let us stress here as well as we're going through this, we know that everybody's doing this completely with the, with the right. Outcome in mind. And so this is not a anything negative, it's just, it's just tricky and that's what we're trying to get across here.

[00:10:40] I think sometimes the resentment if, if you have lived with your mom going, no, I'm not throwing that away. No, I'm not throwing that away. Even though you know that's the best thing for her and ultimately for you, you can bring into that. Session, that decluttering session, a little bit of residual resentment.

[00:10:56] And that causes problems sometimes too. And the person can feel very pressured or shamed, almost a little bit. It can feel quite shameful for the person that's, um, that's at the receiving end of that. You know 

[00:11:09] Ingrid: what, and the thing is, like we said before, it is all well meaning, but when you're so close, To another person, and you've lived through that.

[00:11:20] There's lots of emotions at play that we might not even have recognized ourselves, but then that bubble to the surface when you're actually yourself being confronted with all this stuff and that just. There. There's a lot emotionally going on, and that's why Lesley and I always say it's not about the stuff, it's about all the emotions connected to it, and you need to have an understanding if you're going to have help from somebody or if you're going, if you're offering help to somebody else.

[00:11:49] Lesley: No, I think the next thing I want to talk about Ingrid is that at the receiving end of that, the people who you are helping, you know, they know that it's, they're very grateful. They know that it's a big deal for you to give out your precious time to help them with something that they feel responsible for, that they feel ashamed about, that they feel guilty about.

[00:12:07] And what that then sometimes leads to is that because they feel a little bit under pressure. It might be a time scale pressure, it might be a goal pressure, it might be a little bit of resentment. They sometimes make decisions that they're not comfortable with, and so they make them because they're a little bit embarrassed or feel kind of pressured into making those decisions, and so they lose control of the situation.

[00:12:31] And one of the things that we talk about, All the time is that the most important thing in a decluttering journey is that every decision that you make, you feel a hundred percent behind, so you know that you are making decisions for the right reasons. Because as soon as you lose that control, as soon as you make a decision that you're not comfortable with or you're not ready for, Then that's when you start to have regrets and that's when, and as soon as you start to have regrets, then you start to pull back and you start to hold onto more.

[00:12:57] And so it, it's a real fine line, isn't it? But what we, what we see is that there's, there's pressure from one side and you and the person feels a little bit of pressure to do the right thing because they know that you've. Put so much into it that they feel it should, needs to be a reciprocal arrangement. And so it can cause problems from that.

[00:13:14] It's all quite deep. This really isn't it. Cause we're talking about very close connections, I think between two people, both who have the right idea in mind, but they've just got slightly different ideas about the way that this is going to go. And so this is not an easy thing to talk about, but it is something that.

[00:13:30] Causes real problems for people that we've come across. It causes real problems for, um, clients that we've worked with because, and, and in some instances, this kind of help has led to people, you know, going from a lot of clutter to having hoard and Ted hoard in tendencies, hasn't it? Ingrid because they've felt that things have been wrestled out of their helmet that they weren't ready for.

[00:13:52] So it can have quite catastrophic, um, Outcomes as well, can't it? Yeah. 

[00:13:57] Ingrid: I think it's just that the, because the helper's thinking, oh, well let it go. It's fine. You don't need it. You don't use it, you don't want it. And just ask the simple decluttering questions. And the person then kind of goes, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right.

[00:14:09] Okay, well let's throw it away then, or let's donate it. And then it's out of the house, it's gone. And lately go, that was completely the wrong thing and. When that's happened to one or more items, then the whole ex decluttering experience becomes a negative thing. Like in, because in their head it's suddenly turns.

[00:14:27] It's like, oh my gosh, they were forcing me to let go of all these things and I wasn't ready. And then they remember these items forever. It's like, it's, it's, yeah. It's like they're. Edged on their soul, and people can tell us. 15 years ago, I once threw something away that was really precious to me, and somebody else told me I had to let it go.

[00:14:47] And they can describe the item and the color and how big it was and the smell because it just gets ingrained in their thoughts. Well, we might look at it and go, well, it's just a. A, a, a a piece of clothing that's falling apart. Why is not a, it, it was broken. It can go, but it's just that the memories connected to the items are different for everybody else.

[00:15:09] And everybody's, um, feelings about the items are different. So what might be complete trash to you might be an. Utter pressure for somebody else. And that's, I think when helping can be okay. You can be on a slippery slope sometimes because you're just thinking, oh, this is something that's broken. I'm going to throw it away.

[00:15:29] While that might be something that had been buried under something else, but it was actually really important. 

[00:15:35] Lesley: Yeah, exactly. Those are the things that Exactly. Ingrid, those are the things that people remember all the time. Yeah. So the last thing that I really wanted to talk about, Ingrid, when we were talking about emotional connection to stuff and the difficulty sometimes within these relationships, and to be fair, this is probably something that the two people know about each other, but mental health issues and disabilities come into play and we need to be very mindful of those things as well.

[00:15:58] So if we think about us as professionals, we, we are very mindful of timescales of people's, um, medication and how that impacts them. We're very mindful of things like fibromyalgia and me, and tiring, and you know, what ti um, time of the day, people work better. Obviously disabilities come in, come into play.

[00:16:16] So people need to be upfront about those kind of things. And so it's really important to understand those things and how a day runs for people, because sometimes. If this is not your mom, your dad, or even, even if it is, you might just pop in for an hour here and there and they might have, they might have a very different day to the one that, you know, when you're looking at it as an eight, 10 hour period.

[00:16:37] And so really be mindful about medication is a big one and anxiety is huge. Depression, those peaks and troughs, the tiring with fibro and, uh, Emmy as well. So those things are, are something that. We see a lot and we absolutely have to work around when we're doing sessions as professional organisers. And so, and that's just a simple question, you know, you can only work.

[00:17:01] You can only work with somebody if somebody tells you about it, but you just need to be aware that that might be a thing as well. Yes, Lesley, 

[00:17:07] Ingrid: you're absolutely right. So let's go for a break and then after the break we're going to talk about the things you can ask for to make sure you get the right help.

[00:17:18] Hi everyone. Welcome back. Let's talk about some practical tips, Lesley. 

[00:17:23] Lesley: Yeah, I think, I think it's really important cause this has been quite a deep podcast hasn't it?

[00:17:28] Ingrid I think we, it's fair to say that we've gone quite deep on some of the emotions and it's quite tense because a lot of these are relationship between close friends or family. You know, sometimes it's not, sometimes people help from like churches and, and things like that as well. So it's not always family members, but we just wanted to make sure that we give you something in this podcast that if somebody does offer you help.

[00:17:47] That you can frame it in a way that is going to be, give you the best outcome and the person that's helping you as well. That's also important to think about that as well. So first things first. I think it's really important for you to feel as if you're in control of the situation. So someone comes to offer you help straight away off the bat.

[00:18:05] I think you need to say, okay, I do want your help, but here are the kind of things that you need to know about me. You need to know about. You know, we talked about anxiety medication. Mental health issues, time scales, energy, um, what you feel about your stuff, your emotional connection to stuff, how long you can feel you can work.

[00:18:24] So all of those things need to be explained, explained upfront, so you can both work together on creating a manageable, sensible goal that's going to work for both of you. I think it's really important that these. The communication is there right from the outset, so you know exactly what you want. We do this as professional organisers.

[00:18:44] We go in, we do a consultation call, and we go tell you about tell, tell us about your stuff. Tell us what you want from this. What's your goal and what are the things that we need to know about your situation? And we'll tell you the kind of things that we, you need to know about us as well. And so I think it's really important to frame that right from the outset, isn't it Ingrid?

[00:19:03] Yeah. 

[00:19:03] Ingrid: And I think also manage some expectations about how long are we going to be here? When are we going to have a cup of tea, or when are we going to have some lunch? How, how, how are we going to set up this afternoon, this morning, or this day? How's it going to all work out? Because if it's completely unclear and you're like, after half an hour, Okay, I'm ready for a break.

[00:19:24] And the other person just literally just started. Then you are already starting off on the wrong foot, haven't you? So you need to kind of communicate with each other and kind of make that clear towards each other so you've got clear expectations. 

[00:19:36] Lesley: And I think within that first conversation, Ingrid, you will be able to have a good feel for whether or not this is going to work.

[00:19:41] Again, in the same way as when professional organisers do consultations, that person, that our client then should get a feel for whether or not we are the right fit. Okay, so it's never going to be a professional relationship, and so somebody's not going to, you know, it's, we're not, they're not going to deliver the same as we, we can as a professional organiser, but we need to work out whether this feels like it's going to be a positive outcome or a negative one.

[00:20:02] Because if you, if it's already tense right from the beginning, then it's never going to work. And you need to cut your losses now and say, do you know what? I don't feel comfortable. Thank you so much for the help. But I really don't feel comfortable and I don't think that I can. Do what you need to do for you to achieve what you want to do, what what you want to achieve for me.

[00:20:18] So I think it's really important to be able to walk away if you don't feel it's the right thing, don't feel as if you are being kind of cornered into doing something that's against your will. 

[00:20:28] Ingrid: Yeah, and I think as lo as well as you, what I think is really important is to have very clear agreements about this stuff.

[00:20:36] Let me give you an example as well. Maybe you want to agree, okay. If you find an empty. Milk bottle, or you find a newspaper from three weeks ago, you are okay to put that in a recycling bag. So have agreements, okay, where is the stuff going? Is it going in the bin, in the recycling? Are we going to put anything into charity?

[00:20:58] Is there a system for that? And also make agreements about, okay, what are you ready to let the other person touch? And what, uh, Decisions can then make upon that. Or maybe like in the beginning, I don't even know that yet. You might say to the other person, every item before you do anything with it, I wanna see it so I can get an idea and we can figure out what I feel comfortable with or not.

[00:21:23] And what this helps with is this helps with pre prevents. Stuff being thrown away without you knowing it. So I, for example, never throw anything away without my client seeing it, unless I've already worked with this client for a long time and I know, ah, this is a newspaper, three weeks old. They don't want to see this.

[00:21:45] But I help them more with the categorizing and the decluttering. But I show them everything so they can make the decisions and then you can build upon that until you've got that trust and you've got that agreement and go, actually, no. You know what? If there's old magazines or if there's socks with holes or books, shorts that are ripped, or you know, then I'm okay.

[00:22:10] You don't need to show that to me. That can go there and then you can really feel that it's a collaboration. 

[00:22:18] Lesley: Yeah, definitely. I think, I think when it comes to high volume, volume, I think what you are talking about Ingrid is like high volume items. Yeah. And so, you know, if people have got quite cluttered houses, there's often a category of things that people have got a lot of, that they've struggled to let go of in the past.

[00:22:31] Like newspapers and magazines is an obvious one, isn't it? Ingrid? Yeah. And so, It's about making a blanket decision about those and saying, do you know what? I'm feeling brave and I'm going to, I'm going to only going to keep newspapers and magazines from a year, for example. So if you find anything from a year before you have my agreement to let it go, and it might be if you've got someone that's very resistant, that they are the only person who can put stuff into a BIM bag, that might be a decision that you can, that you make.

[00:22:57] Now we as professional organisers, some professional organisers working that way, Ingrid and I probably wouldn't. We are more about letting the person see cause we will work a little bit more. Beetle and we have to keep that kind of momentum going a little bit because it can be difficult. And there's something quite empowering as well about letting somebody else put the things in the bag so there's something about somebody else sort of standing over you that kind of, it's not forces you into making a decision, but it's empowers you to make that decision more readily than you would if you were working on your own.

[00:23:26] So I think it's about making those blanket decisions, isn't it? And about agreeing. What's going to be put into a BIM bag or donated, or whatever that might be. And, and how is that going to work? You know, you can't have somebody going into the kitchen while you are working in the living room and decluttering and throwing everything away in your kitchen because you have no control over that whatsoever.

[00:23:45] And so it is. That's what we're, we're sort of talking about really, isn't it? Yeah. Or 

[00:23:49] Ingrid: what I do as well, a lot less with, with newer clients is I make a, uh, if we're working together on something, I say I, because I'm normally much faster than the client, I'll let the client have a look at things calmly, but I any means have created a pile of stuff that I think can go.

[00:24:07] Yeah. So, and I kind of fish outta things that I think are important. So then it's like, oh, this is like an empty envelope. This is terms and conditions. This is a little booklet, this is a receipt of four months ago of a, of a pin of milk. So, and then it's easier for, for the client to go through it. So you, there's, there's techniques you can do that can really help.

[00:24:28] Lesley: Yeah, so in the actual decluttering process, I think that's some, you know, a good basis on which to start. But ultimately, you know, the, the most important thing is that you need to implicitly trust the person that you are working with to do the right thing for you. That's the most important thing. It's your process, it's your home.

[00:24:49] It's your stuff and it's you that needs to make the decision on that. And so whether someone likes it or doesn't like it, that's what needs to happen. Now, sometimes it's more complicated when we've got safety issues at play or we've got people that can't come back from hospital because they can't get into their homes and things like that.

[00:25:05] So sometimes, It's tricky and other decisions that are not ideal need to be made. But in general, what we want to be looking for with any kind of partner that's going to help him is the fact that after these initial conversations that we've talked about, that you feel that you can trust them. Now, when we are professional, organised, and we go in, we've not got a hundred percent.

[00:25:26] Trust from, from right from the beginning. People, they might be like, oh, I feel as if I'm ready to trust this person. And then the trust starts to build as we're working together, as they see how you are working with your staff. And so trust is what you are looking for. And if it's not working, then you need to be able to step away.

[00:25:45] Now we've talked a lot about professional organisers, um, today. Um, obviously it's not something that everybody can do cause it's quite an expensive service. It's well worth it in our opinion, but it's not a cheap service. It's something that you need to invest in to get the right outcome for your home.

[00:25:59] But if you, but don't, don't ever feel that a professional Organiser is going to come and do, if you've had a bad experience in the past of a family member come in and. Making you feel out of control with the stuff that you've got. A professional organiser should, not ever, I can't say that no professional organisers do, because there's always people that don't work in the way that we would like them to.

[00:26:21] But professional organiser should not do that because it's a professional relationship. And we're going to take out some of the things that we were spoken about, the resentment, the, the kind of built up frustration that might have been there as a child, the time scales and having to work in really. You know, long chunks of time because you've not got, you know, you've only got one weekend that you can do it.

[00:26:40] And so a professional organiser can pay staff out over several weeks or over several months. There's no built up residual, um, kind of frustration from the past and it is a professional relationship with, and it's very client centered so it can be different. So do think about a professional organiser.

[00:26:54] Don't be scared of a professional organiser. We are not there to throw your stuff into bin banks. We are there to emotionally work through your stuff and get the best, best outcome 

[00:27:02] Ingrid: for you. And of course you might think, you know what, that sounds amazing because I've had a bad experience with a family member.

[00:27:09] I wanna hire a professional organiser and realize, wow, this is way outta budget for me. I can't do this. I can't have somebody here for days on end, for months in a row. It's impossible. That is exactly where our membership comes in, because. Everything that we've talked talked about today in this podcast is what we know and what we teach in the Declutter Hub.

[00:27:31] It is what we have at our core of our courses, of our learning is that we teach you how to do things yourself and to build up that decluttering muscle. So if you're thinking, okay, I have realized over time that. The help that has been offered has not been working for me, but I can't get a professional organiser in for loads of different reasons.

[00:27:54] But I want to move on and I want to get out of this clutter situation. That's, I think when, when you really wanna check out the membership. So have a look at members dotty clutter Hub dot com because Lesley and I can help you. You can either take out a monthly membership, you can take out an annual membership, and you've not only got us, but you've also got other people who have clutter there as moral support and for motivation.

[00:28:19] And I think that's what's really important. And 

[00:28:21] Lesley: do you know what Ingrid. This podcast is born out of, you know, our experience as a professional organiser and questions that we get in the q and a. So we do a live q and a every two weeks where we sort of delve deep into your specific questions. What are our members specific questions?

[00:28:36] And that question comes up a lot, you know, uh, somebody came in, threw my stuff away. And it made me kind of, you know, keep hold of more, what do I do about that? And it's, you know, it's, it's a hard thing to break, you know? I know you've had that bad experience. It's not easy. And it can be in some instances, if it's something very, very special and often it is, it can be very, very traumatic and it's not something you can get over easily.

[00:29:00] Yeah. So we hope that, I know it's been a little bit deep, a little bit deep. No, no, no. Fun and laughter in this one. Hey. Straight into the deepness today. Um, but I think it's really important for us to share that information because to say people go into this, you know, we talk about light bulb moments all the time, and a lot of people.

[00:29:20] Who have helped people in the past don't realize why that has suddenly maybe stopped and the person hasn't asked them to go back and they thought we were doing a great job. And you know, people want to help, but it that helps Got to be delivered in the right way for at the right time, hasn't it?

[00:29:35] Absolutely. 

[00:29:36] Ingrid: So listeners, I would love for you to share with us what is your experience when someone helped you in the past? Did it work out? Did it not work out? Feel free to share that with us. You can do that in our show notes, in the comments. So go to Declutter Hub dot com slash 2 26 and leave us a comment and we'd love to, to hear from you, um, your experiences.

[00:30:00] Lesley: Yeah, and we'll be asking about it in the Facebook group as well next week. So I do share that information in the Facebook group when you see that post pop up next week as well. So, but next week we're going to go a little bit more. Simple and calm and maybe funny 

[00:30:13] Ingrid: Ingrid. Yeah, we're going to talk about decluttering hacks.

[00:30:17] Ooh, do they really work? We can't wait to talk to you about that. So thanks so much for listening, and we'll see you next week
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