A photograph of a woman, Sue Wood, declutter hub member, standing in a garden in coat and hat
Episode 112 – Guest interview with member Sue

In today’s episode we are talking to one of our Declutter Hub members, Sue, who has been with us for around one year! Sue gives us an insight into her story and the progress she has achieved since being a member.
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Transcript of this podcast episode
Intro  0:07  
Welcome to today's episode of The declutter of podcast, your channel for super easy, no nonsense advice on how to declutter and organise your home. Please welcome your hosts professional organisers, Ingrid Jansen and Lesley Spellman.

Ingrid  0:31  
Hello, and welcome listeners to Episode 112 of the Declutter Hub Podcast. I'm Ingrid. In today's episode, I'm talking to Sue from Sheffield, which is in in north of the UK. Sue has been a member of the declutter hub for about a year now and has been making great progress. So welcome, Sue. Welcome to our podcast.

Sue  0:53  
Thank you, Ingrid, I'm honoured to be here. Actually, I was really, it was lovely being asked. Thank you.

Ingrid  1:00  
Pleasure, pleasure. I mean, we know our listeners, just I mean, I know we know they love me unless the chatting about loads of different things. But we know that they really appreciate us. That sounds a bit crazy, but like talking to real people, you know, people who have clutter, and they can just recognise themselves to the stories. And we're just so grateful to any of our members, or of our listeners that comes forward and says, we'd love to be on the podcast, because I know our listeners really appreciate it. So thank you in advance for for sharing your story. So that's fantastic. So let's just get to know you a little bit before them. So I mean, you are a member of the declutter hub, we're going to talk about the declutter hub a little bit later. But can you tell us a little bit more about yourself?

Sue  1:48  
Well, that's a bit of a long story, I should try and make it short. I'm retired. When in my working life, I worked partly in training partly in personnel management. And I also run my own business for a while. And I've lived overseas, but I've mainly been in this country. I'm not sure when my problems started. I think if I had to put my finger on it, it might have been when I followed my husband's career, as we obedient married women did in those days, we went to live overseas, and the marriage turned toxic, I'm afraid. And I needed to leave in something of a hurry. And I came back to Britain, with not very much so at that stage. I didn't have much and I didn't have a problem. But I'm thinking maybe that's where my problem started that coming back with not much I was trying to build up my life, I suppose

Ingrid  2:43  
I can, I can really understand that. So basically, you're saying, I never really had a clutter problem, actually, until I kind of had almost nothing left and I wanted to rebuild my household.

Sue  2:59  
That makes sense. I've thought about it long and hard. And I think if I had to put my finger on when it happened, I would say that was the problem. And then going forward when I was running my own business and working from home. Actually, we self employed people, Ingrid, you will know this work extraordinarily hard. And I didn't really have time I let a lot of household things go. So now I'm retired. So okay, now's the time, now's the time to try and get a handle on this. But it's not been easy.

Ingrid  3:29  
Because you worked a lot of hours as a self employed person. And I think you've done a lot of volunteering work as well. You're very involved in your community. So how's work and was in the home was not on the top of your priority list?

Sue  3:43  
No, it wasn't on the top of my priority list. But unfortunately, I think I got into bad habits. I'd also accumulated years worth of stuff. Which of course, it's the problem. So far too much stuff. And bad habits have combined to give me the problem I've got I think

Ingrid  4:03  
I want to talk about the stuff some more but I'm interested in the bad habits. What would you consider a bad habit for yourself that you think I've gotten? This is why I'm I've gotten here where I am now.

Sue  4:15  
No, do you want to list? Well, I live I live by myself, which is passable is part of the problem because I only have myself to please. same token, I don't have to contend with anybody else's mess. It's all my own mess. But it means that if I don't put things away, there's nobody to say well, you know, that needs to go be put away or whatever. So yes, not putting things away. Not finishing projects. If I start something, I don't know if I get bored towards the end, it could be whatever but I'll have a number of unfinished projects lying around. Procrastination, that's another one. I've got a list of things that need to be done. And I can spend a lot of time avoiding doing them. In fact, I spend more time avoiding doing them than if I just did them, then they'd be done and I could take them off.

Ingrid  5:07  
So is it mainly like things like cleaning and housework and dishes? Or is it? I want to sort out that pile of random things in the corner?

Sue  5:16  
Oh, no, it's everything. That way you say it's everything. So I might have a phone call I don't particularly want to make, how difficult can that be? But I can turn off making that phone call or writing that email? And just keep putting it off. So no, it's not just household things in grid. It's everything. I see.

Ingrid  5:35  
I see. Okay. And if you talk about unfinished projects, is that then because in my mind, I was thinking DIY projects, is that all DIY project or is it's also again, a combination of decluttering. And

Sue  5:50  
tasks, or combination of projects there, some DIY on I say, obviously, because if you're on your own, nobody else to do it, it's all down to me. But decluttering tasks, as well, I mean, that's what I'm focusing on at the moment. That's why we're here. So for example, I've got folders, files of paperwork on particular things. And I said, Okay, I will go through the folders in that cupboard. And that would be a task. And toussis from the end, I think, can't board with this now, so I don't finish it. So I don't have a nice decluttered filing capital revenue, since I've got two thirds of a decluttered filing cabinet. And then the unsorted papers will be on the floor. Because that's where I've done this thought sorting. So it's messy.

Ingrid  6:36  
And I find it very interesting, because a lot of people think that it's only about the stuff, isn't it. But it's also about indeed what you're saying procrastination and getting two thirds of three quarters through and then up finishing the project. It's about holding off on doing something until it's almost like completely critical and urgent, well, when the letter or email or form that had to be filled in could have been done earlier. But because it was put off. So it's a combination of things. And a lot of my clients who I work with in real life, they say, you know, I thought decluttering was just about the stuff. But it's also when you start to declutter, it's all the little jobs that that needs to happen that come out of the decluttering. A little research projects, for example, or, Oh, I found lots of batteries that now need to go to recycling, or Oh, I found these old VHS tapes that I want to have transferred into DVD. So I need to find a guy or a girl with a computer who can do that for us. So it's the jobs that come out of the Job says well, isn't it that kind of can make it feel quite overwhelming?

Sue  7:46  
Yeah, most definitely. There are so many individual decisions to be taken with each decluttering task. And that is really, really challenging. Really hard.

Ingrid  7:58  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I completely hear you. So if we then look at the stuff, have you pinpointed things where you think, yes, that's where I have too much of

Sue  8:12  
I could just really say everything. I again, I've thought about this? Being in the declutter, which means that you think about things more. So it focuses your attention on Well, where is the problem? So things fall into categories, obviously, clothes is a big one. Now, I had an absolute win a few years ago was close, because I engaged the services of a delightful lady called a wardrobe Angel, who has unfortunately hung up her wings, she's no longer doing it. Now, first of all, it was really scary to admit there was a problem and choose someone to come into my home and help me go through my wardrobe. That was scary in itself. But I'm so glad I did it. She was amazing. We worked hard. I think she was with me for about six hours. And we got rid of five bin bags of clothes. And it was reassuring to have her because I felt I trusted her judgement. She made me try everything on and she would say yes, suits, you know, it doesn't fit. So it doesn't fit all this is out of style or whatever. And I was very happy to trust her judgement. I think if you've also paid someone, it's crazy not to take their advice. So that was a job well done. So the clothes are less of a problem now, but I feel I could do with some more help there. But, but that's less of a problem. Paperwork is a big problem. Paperwork is inherently boring. I mean with a wardrobe. You can say okay, I'll go through my wardrobe this afternoon and I'll try things on and it will be quite tough quite often have fun doing that. CD on and enjoy, enjoy the afternoon. But paperwork is inherently dull, and there's a lot of that is partly a lot of that because having run my own business, you tend to keep stuff you have to Keep financial records for longer than you would like. But also, I'm a sort of pre internet age person, really, hold on, I love the internet. If I used to see articles in magazines, I thought that's interesting. I'll go keep that. So I've got stacks of useful and interesting articles about all sorts of things, which perhaps when the time comes, I'm not that interesting or useful, but I've still got them, things that might come in handy, that sort of useful things, pieces of wood, those sorts of things. I'm never going to use them, but that's what they are, my car is mostly in the garage.

Ingrid  10:35  
And I think that's what you see a lot with people who are a little bit older, they keep stuff because it might come in handy one day, isn't it? It's that generation of make do and mend.

Sue  10:48  
Absolutely, were brought up with a slightly postwar generation. And our parents didn't have anything it was a will make to remember, you didn't throw things away. And that's the mindset. And on one, one level, it's quite useful to have the mindset not to be wasteful. But it can go too far.

Ingrid  11:06  
I think it's exactly it's it's so interesting what you say, because I think it is somebody, for example, with wood in the garage, somebody who has a wood burner, and uses that wood to put it on in the winter to have a nice open fire, then it is suddenly useful. But for somebody who never sees himself doing a wood project doesn't have a wood burner, and it's just kind of lying about there gathering dust, then suddenly, it's become useless. But for you it is well for somebody else, it might be very useful. So a lot of people always ask me, what can you not just copy paste everything you do in your own house, but it just so depends on your your family, your home, what you think is important, what you will use and what you won't use. I mean, for example, my mother used to always sew things herself had a sewing machine. But at one point her eyes she was she was getting older, she couldn't thread the needle through the thread through the needle anymore. So she at that point, then said, I can leave it here in my cupboards, but I'm going to donate it to somebody else, because I'm now going to need to ask a menders, or a local dry cleaners to sort this out for me, because I can't do it myself anymore. So it's that constant, your life evolves as well doesn't it from from what used to be useful might not be used for now anymore to you,

Sue  12:38  
I think what you said is very, very valuable. And one of the things which has helped me is our local freegle and freecycle service, because it's amazing, I think, they will take anything, but people find a use for anything, other people. And broken things. I mean, amazing what what I've had taken by by Frigo. And that has helped a lot because it means that the things aren't going into landfill, they aren't being wasted, somebody is finding them useful. But it's still quite tough to let certain things go. And I think had been thinking about this as well. I think some of it has to do with identity that if you've had a career, then things you did, maybe the reports you wrote, or, or whatever, then becomes part of your identity. And even though those things aren't useful anymore, they kind of spell out your to yourself your own identity. And I think that's, that's hard.

Ingrid  13:35  
You're so right. And I'm immediately a client of mine just popped into my head who has had a long career and has always been very involved in teaching, etc. And she's now retired. But she finds it because the work was so important to her it's such a big part of who she is and her working life that it's she finds it really hard to slowly but surely let go some of that paperwork that's all involved with her career because it's exactly what you're saying. So it's part of her identity. So I can really relate to that because I can see it in my working life as well when working with clients. So that makes complete sense to me. And I think it's really a slowly but surely approach is, is probably what what works best there and not kind of kind of cold turkey and it takes time to mentally get your head around it. I think

Sue  14:37  
it's definitely a mental it's a mindset thing. As we're talking I'm thinking back over to successes I've had. And there have been some isn't all doom and gloom, going through the wardrobe. I could easily get I could more easily get rid of what I would call my business clothes, because I knew I wasn't going to use a business suit anymore. So those could go and I've now got more fun things. But even so there are things in there that aren't the new me, which still need to be gone. It's a process. It doesn't happen. Just as a one off job. It's got to be revisited time and time again. Yeah. So those things were easier than the report somehow still got reports in the box that I've written. I wrote those. Yeah, I don't really, please tell me I don't need to keep them.

Ingrid  15:28  
You don't need to keep them smooth. But on the other hand, if you can make lots of wins elsewhere, and the reports are the hardest thing to let go, maybe you need to wait making a decision on the reports, make wins elsewhere. And maybe it's that's the process for you. It's again, take in the paperwork, do the easier wins first and kind of build up to okay, I find this harder, or maybe you can send the projects itself. And maybe you don't need to keep all of the underlying paperwork that where the report was based on maybe that can go and maybe the report itself is the last thing. Maybe maybe that helps and you can break it down like that.

Sue  16:11  
Certainly needs breaking down this issue.

Ingrid  16:15  
Now, you were talking of because of course we prepare this podcast we we spoken a word we're going to talk about. And actually something very, very interesting happened because when we were chatting, you said to me, Ingrid, maybe people my age downsize a lot thing, but But you actually have upsized, haven't you?

Sue  16:37  
It's a horror of my family, I might say.

Ingrid  16:43  
But explain why. Because everybody always thinks that people who are older, are downsizing or rightsizing. But you made a conscious decision to upsize. Why was that? Because I think our listeners find that interesting.

Sue  16:57  
Okay, well, this is back to living by myself. And at the end of the day. There's nobody else is going to be responsible for me, I've got no children. I do have family, but I'm not their responsibility. I've got to be responsible for myself. And it was experience really was was my father going into special retirement housing, which informed my decision that although I don't think he was unhappy there, I think he was quite sanguine about the situation. And it wasn't such a terrible decision. But there would have been better decisions for him, I think, had we known the reality of the expense of in this country, specialist retirement housing. So I thought, if I'm going to if I'm going to need more support, as I get older, if I get frail, if I live that long, I would much prefer to be in my own home with living care. And that would probably be no more expensive indeed might be less expensive than paying the commercial world to look after me. So I spent two years looking for eventually found a house with a little annex, where should I ever need it? My Living carer can go and if push comes to shove, I could go in that bit and somebody else. I love having the space. I haven't filled the space with extra clutter, which which could have been could have been a tendency maybe. So the cluster is a bit more spread out than it was. But But no, that was the reason. So is it? Should I ever need care, I can provide for care in my own home. And also if you look at the prices of smaller places, by by the time you've factored in solicitor's costs and moving costs and all the rest of it, you might end up with paying exactly the same money for place half the size. Simply any point in that really

Ingrid  18:56  
interesting. I find that so interesting, because I've never looked at it from that way. So especially because of course we had recently jeanne was on our podcast and she talked all about downsizing and downsizing her belongings. And that's why I found it. So interestingly, you said what, Ingrid, I have actually upsized. And there's a very specific reason why I'm doing that. And I think it's just so good for our listeners to know that we all have our own path that we're on. And we all make decisions based on the best information that we have. And I just thought it was really interesting. And also what I love about is that you said I'm not going to fill up the space with lots of stuff. I'm actually I'm going to keep what although I moved to a larger house, I'm still going to work on getting control of my belongings and that's exactly why you've joined the declutter hub. So what happened? I mean, I noticed that you are retired. So what happened that you suddenly thought, Well, how did you feel about your house? What made the decision to join the declutter hub?

Sue  19:57  
Well, that was a journey in itself, to be honest I've probably owned and read all the decluttering books. I haven't got them all have decluttered, some of them, Marie Kondo. We've got the Swedish death cleaning book, we've got certification, we've got all sorts of things. And I would read these books, and they would give me a little bit of inspiration. And I would, I would do some decluttering. But somehow, they didn't have the answer for me. It wasn't pushing all the right buttons. I don't know how I found the declutter hub, I really don't know, what's the been googling, the only thing I can think of I was Googling around and found you. And something sparked off and I thought, Yes, I think I think these ladies could be helpful. And my goodness, have you been helpful. It's been amazing. But it was a journey, even getting as far as you see what I mean, going through the other possibilities, one of my friends actually hired a lady, not in this part of the world, somewhere down south to come in and help her. And I thought that was very brave. She was somehow braver than I'd been brave enough to have the wardrobe angel come and help me with my clothes. But it was a story of having somebody come in and help me with everything else was, was deeply scary. I mean, given mostly sort of there in the background, and all the community that has really done the job for me, there was something about your approach that really rang a bell with me, and I will continue with you until I've done it.

Ingrid  21:33  
And we will be here for you sue, like our other other members will be as well. And I just love it, how positive you are about it. And you know, this is not a quick fix. Three week, Rambler member all done, it takes time. And you need to think about your mindset and your way of thinking and finding out what's important. And where are you going to start and how you're going to start and how you're going to break down the tasks is all of those things that are involved in decluttering, as well, it's not it's never about the stuff. And I think that's what you've learned as well, isn't it? So

Sue  22:10  
I think what has helped the most, and I'm telling you things that you hopefully already know is that your method actually works. If, if we do what you tell us to do. That was quite a light bulb moment. For me that was quite a revelation. So my first light bulb moment was moving things into the room where they should be just moving things from A to B. Why didn't I think of that, you know, it's not difficult. It's not accepted is. And so that was my first step was just to move things into the room that they should be. And that was good. Another thing was to go for quick wins. I saved lots of foil containers in the kitchen and curry containers from bringing things home. I had too many of them. I didn't need so many. So those got ruthlessly dealt with and the remainder containerized that's less least favourite thing to do things. Bulky things, it's always nice to get rid of bulky things. And so as you will know, a recent big win for me was the magazines. I've I've got lots of books and books on to problem if books. If there's bookshelf space, then books aren't a problem. But I'd got a lot of magazines that I'd subscribe. This was aspirational magazines, Grand Designs, and antiques and homes and those sorts of things. And I looked at those and they were occupying a huge part of one of my bookshelves. So I thought okay, I'll have a look at these. There was nothing in them I wanted, they've been sat there for years, like toads on the shelf. And so that was that was really pleasing, get rid getting rid of those. And they went on Freegal people who appreciated them, took them and that was brilliant. They didn't even have to go into the recycling bin. So that was lovely. So then I looked, I thought I'll look again at these books, which I looked through on a number of occasions. And I saw I'll look again, and I found not one but three DIY books. Two of them were like encyclopaedias, they were large. I'd obviously bought them because it seemed like a good idea at the time. So I actually opened them I just looked at the titles before. Those are useful. I'll keep those when I open them. They were how to knock a wall down how to build a wall, how to lay a path, how a remain works. I mean, what was I thinking? What was I thinking that I was having these books and now if I want to change your track washer, I will look on YouTube or I will get a patent. I mean it's as simple as that. I am not going to look in my encyclopaedias, so two of them have gone to charity they've already gone and hopefully somebody will find them useful. The one I kept as much as the titles, anything was 100 more things you don't need around for, I thought I can treat myself to keep that book and goodness, it might have something useful in it. So that was a long story really about my book, case decluttering that if we do what you tell us, it actually works. And you've told me before about magazines, and I hadn't listened. But now I've listened. I've listened about the magazines. And

Ingrid  25:30  
well, I think it is so so we're all on our own path, aren't we all the members are on their own path. And the light bulbs go off on different points in the journey. And it's just so nice to see that you are trying it, you're taking on board, you're having your successes, you're having your wins because having those wins is so important to be motivated to do something else, isn't it?

Sue  25:53  
Totally, totally. And when I'm and I do get demotivated, obviously, because there's still a lot to do, I've actually made a list of the things I have done. So if I get demotivated, I will look back at this list. And there's big things on that list, like the bookshelf and the magazines. And there's little things like all the spare coathangers paint charts, you get the impression of the sorts of things that I had, I have made progress, and it's measurable progress. And that's really nice to see. Well,

Ingrid  26:23  
congratulations to all your fantastic progress. And we love having you as a member. You've got such you've got such great umur We always enjoy your posts so much. And we just love it, how you taking it all in your stride and you're you're slowly but surely feeling more happier in your home. I think that's what this is all about. So if you could leave our listeners with kind of a final thought, Is there anything else you would like to share with our listeners?

Sue  26:52  
Oh, now that's a hard one. I knew you were going to ask me this and so many things. I think really, I'd go back and say well become a member join. It makes a difference. It really does. You get access to you remember the area and the whole community which is international. And I love that it's an international community that is so special. And we cheer each other on it isn't just Leslie and Ingrid, chipping us and cheering us. It's the whole world. And so that I suppose that would be one my one message would be join. Join the declutter hub. It's worth absolutely every penny.

Ingrid  27:31  
Wow, listeners. I couldn't agree more. I couldn't agree more. Thank you for this lovely for saying this. And it means a lot. It means a lot. And I'm so grateful to you and to our fellow members for being here and listening. I absolutely love it and and just full disclosure read listeners, I did not tell suits that say this to you. So I'm a bit like, I'm all like getting a bit here too, as well. So I just really appreciate that. So listeners. Did you find it interesting. Sue to sue story? Have you picked up some golden nuggets here in what she's been saying to you? Are you thinking yourself hmm, downsizing, upsizing, that's interesting or Yes, I need to break down my project and small tasks and or I maybe need to look at magazines and paint and colour charts of paints. Anything. We really hope you've enjoyed listening to this episode. And we just appreciate your listening and appreciate you being here. So if you know anybody else who you think oh, wow, they would really liked this podcast to make sure you give us a declutter hub.com website and you can find the sharing buttons under each podcast. Now if you want to have more handy tips, advice from Leslie now you can find it in lots of places. We have a Facebook group to call to declutter our community. And we have a Facebook page and we are on Instagram and where you can find us at declutter hub. If you'd like to want to become a member, have a look at members dot declutter hub.com To find out more about a VIP membership. Thank you so much sue for being here. And being a guest on our show. It's been absolutely wonderful to have you.

Sue  29:15  
Well, thank you. I've actually enjoyed it. And genuinely, Ingrid did not ask me to say that little plug for the declutter hub. It was scary. I didn't join it straightaway. But it's been it's been absolutely well worth it. And thank you. Thank you to both of you for all the help that you give.

Ingrid  29:33  
Thank you so much. Well, listeners. That's it for this episode. And if you don't want to miss the next weekly episode, please subscribe to the declutter hub podcast and it will pop into notifications each Friday. Thanks so much for listening, and we'll see you next time.

Outro  29:52  
Thanks for listening to this week's episode of the declutter hub podcast. Check out declutter hub.com for more inspiration And don't forget to tune in next week.
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Barbara says:

21 November 2020 at 8:39 PM

Thank you Sue for agreeing to this interview. I found it so helpful, as someone of a similar age, thinking about the difficult process of letting go of who I am (still running part-time business) and how I want to enjoy new things, held back by incomplete half-finished projects. Your intentional upsizing was a lightbulb for me – along with enjoying the space. Ingrid and Lesley are so generous giving their time and expertise in ways that are REAL along with LAUGHTER. The shared experiences of members from around the world make this a warm caring place.

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1. Ingrid Jansen says:
  
  22 November 2020 at 8:39 PM
  
  Thank you Barbara for your lovely comment. I’m so glad you enjoyed the podcast and it’s given you food for thought. Ingrid
  
  Reply
Episode 112 – Guest interview with member Sue

Episode 385 – Life Skills for Kids with Katie Kimball

Episode 384 – The Reality of House Clearance

Episode 383 – Don’t Buy, Ask Why – How to Break the Black Friday Cycle

Episode 382 – The Power of Journaling – Clear Your Mind and Find Your Focus

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