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Episode 363 – Before you blame the clutter are you doing these 10 things?

In this podcast we’re diving into 10 things you might be doing — without even realising it — that are secretly stopping you from decluttering. These aren’t about the size of your house or how much stuff you have. These are the everyday habits, thoughts and behaviours that sneak in and hold you back. So let’s take a closer look at whether you’re accidentally sabotaging your own progress. No judgement here — we’ve all been guilty of a few of these at some point!
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Transcript of this podcast episode
Speaker 1  00:00
Today, we're diving into 10 things you might be doing without even realizing it that are secretly stopping you from decluttering. These aren't about the size of your house or how much stuff you have. These are the everyday habits, thoughts and behaviors that sneak in and hold you back. So let's take a closer look at whether you're accidentally sabotaging your own progress. No judgment here. We've all been guilty of a few of these. At some point you

Speaker 2  00:44
you're listening to the declutter hub podcast bringing you tried and tested no nonsense tips and advice from the leading experts in decluttering and organising your own now here are your hosts Ingrid Jansen and Lesley Spellman. 


Speaker 1  01:07
Hello and welcome listeners. I'm Ingrid and I'm Lesley. If you're new to the declutter hub podcast, you're so welcome. What you'll find is that we try and find a fun factor in the serious business of decluttering. And if you've been here for a while, you know exactly what we mean. So thank you so much for listening.

Speaker 3  01:27
If you'd like to get involved in conversations relating to this podcast, it all takes place in our Facebook group. So come and join our lovely, warm, supportive community. To find the Facebook group, go to declutter hub.com, forward slash group to find out more, or you can search for the declutter hub community on Facebook. Well,

Speaker 1  01:46
hello, listeners. We're back, and it's a 10 Things podcast. We love a 10 Things podcast, but I feel this one might be a bit tricky. Lesley,

Speaker 3  01:56
yeah, it's a little bit of a contentious one, because we're sort of like holding a little bit of a mirror up to behavior, aren't we? I mean, to be fair, holding a little bit of a mirror up to my behaviors as well. So we're all in this together. We're all in this together before we get started. But I think it's really important for us to look at the kinds of things that are holding people back from successfully decluttering their home. And it's fair to say that sometimes we kind of do other things when we could be decluttering. So that's what we're going to talk about. So we wanted to get started with this idea. Then this, this saying, then that gets bandied around, which is, everyone has the same 24 hours in a day, which is true, factually, completely true. Everyone's got the same 24 hours in a day, but actually they don't do they. Because even though that's facts, there are so many differences in the way that we live our lives, the pulls we've got on our time, our energy levels, our health, our kids, our work, our put all of the things that mean that some people ultimately have got a little bit less time at their disposal than other people. That's the truth. So we don't all have the 20 the same 24 hours in a day, but I think what the idea of that term really is more about, but we can choose within reason how we use the disposable time that we have available, and sometimes we use it productively, and sometimes we're not as productive, and it's finding balance, like everything isn't Ingrid.

Speaker 1  03:39
Yeah, I think so. I mean, you know, sometimes you need to be able to switch off a little bit and watch a bit of, I don't know, mindless television, for example, because, you know, when you've had a super busy day, you want to kind of, yeah, just chill out a little bit. But on the other hand, if you're constantly finding yourself, you know, lounging on the sofa, not doing what you want to do, then it's not going to help you either. You're going to stay stuck in that same circle, right? So we caught we thought about a list of 10 things that we do, and lots of us do this, including ourselves. But this is absolutely not trying to be sound judgmental, because that's what we don't want it to be, but we do want it to be a bit of a wake up call for ourselves as much as for others, to go, Yeah, this is what I do, whether it's stopping you from decluttering or other things in life as well. I think it's important to have you know, like you said, a mirror and be realistic and be honest with yourself, and go, okay, yeah, I want to do this house, but yeah, Ingrid, see, I do six of these 10 things, and maybe now it's giving me the wake up call. I need to go, Okay, I need to put a limit on some of these things, because the time gets frittered away, doesn't it? By the. By many of these 10 things that we've got on the list,

Speaker 3  05:04
I can absolutely guarantee, as we go through this list that we will be talking about our own behaviors in relation to each and every one of them, and the jury's out at this moment in time. But if I were to make an assumption, and we've not spoken about this before, I bet I have got way more on this list than Ingrid House, who is very productive and gets things done. And I'll be like messing around, but anyway, so

Speaker 1  05:25
we'll see as we go through it, right? I know we have to keep we have to do a telly Lesley, I think definitely.

Speaker 3  05:33
So we're gonna go straight in with number one, right, which is a really obvious one that we all know that we waste way too much time on, and that is scrolling, Doom, scrolling on social media. Yeah. So I don't know whether we even need to discuss it, right? We do need to discuss it because it is a thing that zaps tons and tons, yeah, yeah. But, and a little bit of social media is not a bad thing, but we can get too much of it, can't we?

Speaker 1  06:02
Yeah, and I know you know, whether it's Instagram or tick tock or shorter YouTube video, whatever it is, I never used to watch shorts, and now I'm catching myself watching shorts. Lesley, what is this all about? And what I'm telling my my daughter and off for being on tick tock the whole time. So it's like, oh, it's just terrible. You lose oodles of time. It's really crazy. They they suck you in with all of the little videos and things. And before you know it, honestly, an hour and a half is gone. It's really crazy. They are so good at that. It's really, it's actually quite worrying, if you think about it, it

Speaker 3  06:46
is, yeah, but there's a lot of good that comes from social media as well. So yes, it does zap time and energy, but from my own perspective, I find it entertaining. I find it escapism. I find it educational, I find it enlightening. It makes me think so, and it very much depends on your algorithm, algorithm right, as to whether that sort of suits you. But I do know when I start seeing the same thing popping up on Facebook 10 times over, because I've just kind of pulled it down. I'm like, maybe it's time to let go now. But I am quite sort of concentrated. So I am. I don't really look at social media during the day, because we have to do it for business and stuff, and so you can get fed up if you've got to do it for from a business perspective as well. But I am definitely a social media person when I first wake up, and probably before I go to bed. What about you

Speaker 1  07:37
breakfast if I'm having breakfast by myself? Obviously not when I'm having breakfast on Sunday morning with the family. I'm not gonna, we're not gonna pull our phones out and look at stuff. But when I met my men myself at breakfast in the morning, I kind of look at a few bits, you know, check some messages, and before you know what you're you're watching George on Instagram or Facebook and and sometimes, you know, in the evening when I'm trying to go to bed, and I'm kind of like, let me have one last look at my phone before I go to bed, and then you get stuck into something, and then twice, and I'm like, why can I just not go to bed, turn the television off, go upstairs? Why do I have to check my phone and lose another half an hour of my life when I could have been asleep, it's because I'm an evening person. I don't want to go to sleep. Lesley, that's my problem. I think that's mainly then.

Speaker 3  08:28
Yeah, the problem is, so why is this such a problem when it comes to decluttering, because we are hemorrhaging time away. Some of that time is necessary for escapism, for all the things that we've mentioned before, but you've got to be done within reason. Because if you just pulled back and looked at your social media consumption, and it's easy to see on your phone, you can look at your screen time. You can even look at how on each individual app, how much you've spent time on Facebook, on WhatsApp, on Instagram, all of the different social channels. And look at that and go, Wow, because that'd be quite it's a little bit like accounting confess Ingrid, when you look at when you dare to go there, and look at how much time you spent on Facebook over the week or over the day, and go, if only I could take half of that time back, then that's another half an hour or an hour that I've got a day to do some decluttering or another thing that's useful as well. So I think it's about we kind of know that we waste too much time on social media, but it's then taking that information, taking it to the next level, and going, but how much time are we wasting? Get the solid information and go, I've got a plan here to cut that time in half and to use that time for something more productive. I think that's where we are at.

Speaker 1  09:43
Yeah, definitely. Let's go on to number two then, oh, I don't do this. I'm really happy to report about playing games on your phone. I don't even know. I mean, I think there's games with like farms, and there's you can do hotels and you. Can do these little, I don't know what are they called, like these little cups, and you have to pour, like, the right color. I've seen other people do this. You have to put the right color in the right thing, or, like the old

10:13
fashioned games. There's

Speaker 1  10:15
so many. I don't, I didn't do this. I can, I can hold my hand up. I don't do games on my phone. But for how long? Well,

Speaker 3  10:21
you know what Ingrid your brain's gonna go down the pan, because that's the reason why people play games on the phone. Is for Brain Training. Okay, so the rest of us are gonna have healthy brains because we play games on our phone. I actually don't play games on my phone either, but I do do Duolingo, which is a gamified, similar right? So it's exactly the same thing. And the problem with that is, of course, we've got the gamification side of it is telling us to do it every single day to get a streak. If you don't do it today, you're going to lose your streak and all that kind of stuff. So it's clever kind of, you know, gamification at work to make sure that you are spending time doing that every day, and it's how much time you want to do that. But mostly, some of these things have got a positive out outcome. So the same that we were talking about social media, and we're talking about, you know, escapism and education and stuff like, I mean, education is a little bit limited, to be fair, but the problem is, it all blends into one, right? So we go on looking at games, looking at the news, maybe in the newspaper, and looking at social media. And sometimes we get our news from social media to just means it's all kind of blends into one. So it's not necessarily that we're looking at all these things of as individual things. It blends into phone time, right, doesn't

Speaker 1  11:38
it? Yeah, I do. I do fancy a word search when I but like when I go to sleep at night, my phone is also, you're not considering that to be a game. No, it's like, it's like when instead of reading a book, I do like a word search one in bed, but not like playing games on my phone. That was the thing. Playing games on your phone. I don't do them on my phone,

Speaker 3  11:59
but on the list, it says playing games on your phone. Oh, Ingrid is not accepting that a word search is playing a game on you. Of course, it's a game,

Speaker 1  12:09
it's one it's one out. But it's nice because I do them on paper, like old fashioned pen and paper, so the phone's away, and instead of reading a book, I do on paper, or Sudoku or a paper which one every night? Okay,

Speaker 3  12:24
so you're saying it right, okay, so even though it says on there, playing games on your phone, I'm going to extend it out here and go actually it doesn't need to be on your phone. It can also be a crossword or a word search on paper. So playing games, yeah, okay,

12:40
then I've got to admit I'm doing this.

Speaker 3  12:44
Of course, he's classic Ingrid, like, Oh no, no, no, definitely don't do that. Should not go, oh, by the way, but I do it on paper. Yeah, yeah. Sneaking doesn't make it any better.

Speaker 1  12:55
Well, I think it does. It's good for my brain. Remember, you've just said that playing games is good for your

Speaker 3  13:00
brain. I know exactly. Alright, okay, okay,

Speaker 1  13:04
number three. Number three daytime television

Speaker 3  13:09
doesn't necessarily it says daytime TV on their Ingrid, also nighttime. Just going to say that as well. TV general, okay, oh, I definitely know it says on the list, daytime TV. We can expand that out. There are people who work during the day and at home at night, you know, work, work at night, at home during the day, different things, right? Okay, so we're just going to say TV in general, definitely do that to change it from what it says on the script. I

Speaker 1  13:37
just got, I thought I was going to get away with this one, but I'm not. I'm like, because, yeah, I'm not doing daytime television. I mean, no, I can't remember when I watched. I mean when I iron, when I'm I watch a film. But, yeah, because the daytime television, you know what? Let's see. When I lived in Ireland, the first year, when I lived in Ireland, I took a sabbatical. When you mean my husband moved to Ireland for a couple of years. He got a job. I was I took a sabbatical for a while, just get to know the country, set up the house and all of that. I got sucked into daytime TV, and I thought, wow, that hours Dr Phil was my favorite show. I knew what it was on every day, you know what I mean. And I thought, This is dangerous. So I actually, when I find a joke, I was like, okay, the daytime TV is out because before you know it, you know the show's about auction house and the properties abroad. And it's like, dangerous, because

Speaker 3  14:37
before I do get it. So when I get my when I get my hair cut and my hairdresser and stuff. I go to her house, and she's always got daytime TV. And I do, I do still love because I was the same when I was at home with kids. It was kind of a little bit of escapism, and you just kind of put it on in the background and stuff like that, wouldn't you? And so, yeah, I do quite like daytime TV. It's a little bit of a guilty pleasure, isn't it? But again, we can get too much of this, the same in the evening. It's all about. And this is all about balance, honestly. I mean, Ingrid here to say that we don't scroll on our phones, play games, watch TV, absolutely not. We do all these things, but it's about looking at what that behavior is, and looking at whether you feel unproductive in other areas of your life, and trying to rejig the timing on these things to allow yourself a little bit more time TV is quite a nice, easy one, because what you can do on TV is, as Ingrid says, You can multitask. Okay? So we can do while we're watching TV, we can do the ironing, we can even do the cleaning in certain rooms and stuff like that. So, you know, I know what a lot of people do is they'll do little bits and things in breaks between programs and things like that. So try and, you know, even if you want to watch it, of course, do whatever you like. It's your Your World, Your life, your home. But just try and look at that and go, How can I kind of start to break the habit a little bit, or habit stack, you know, whilst I'm watching this morning, which is a UK program which is, like, two hours long. I think something like that, that gives me the perfect opportunity to pull a drawer out in front and potentially sit in front of that TV, or have it on in the background while I'm doing a little bit of decluttering or sort out my DVDs in front of the TV. So we don't need to just sit and watch TV. There's a possibility not everybody likes it. It's why I struggle to concentrate if I've got anything on TV, music, anything and but some people are fine with that. And so think about how you can do things a little bit differently.

Speaker 1  16:31
Yeah, I think, I think the danger is with especially evening TV. You know, after dinner we're tired, we want to sit down, but it's so difficult to get off that sofa once you're on it, right? So I think it's really important to think things through. And if you are the person who loves to lounge on yourself in the evening, and you know, you find it tricky to get off the sofa to get something else done, just say, Okay, right? I know I'm that person. I'm going to make sure that I do the couple of things that I want to do before I sit down, if I can, and maybe delay watching that program with that's just that 30 minutes to get some of these things done before I then give myself, or allow myself, to watch TV and then actually relax and not having to do anything with it. But I think it's all about their balances. I love, I love evening television. So I am, I am definitely having this three, number three, right? Let's move on to number four, then Lesley,

Speaker 3  17:30
I wanted to say about that Ingrid, actually. So just Just to follow on from what you're saying about sitting down and watch TV, I think that that evening reset that we're big advocates of, definitely, definitely do that before you sit down and watch TV, because you're never going to come back to it. Are you never, yeah. So, you know, we talk a lot with evening resets, about the timing of those, and so mine is definitely after dinner before I sit down and watch TV. Do you know, I think that's my sort of time. And for, you know, if you've got kids and stuff, and stuff like that, might be quite different, some people like to do it just before they go to bed, but you've got to think about your own behaviors. If I sit down and watch TV, I'm not getting up in the middle of that TV program to do anything. I'm not, you know, what's me, but I think it's about the productivity. So you've got to look at your day as a whole. So it's not a problem, of course, for Ingrid and I to sit down and watch a bit of TV in an evening because we've been fairly productive on the weekends or during the day or whatever. And so it's about looking at your day as a whole and sort of going, this is about, am I blaming the clutter, when actually, there are things that I could do myself to try and help myself get there. Yeah, yeah,

Speaker 1  18:42
we're back to for number four. We're again back to mobiles and computers. Lesley, because being on Facebook groups, being in forums, messaging other people, being maybe even in a ton of WhatsApp groups, and doing all of that that can really, really take up an a very large amount of time, right? I think again, we need a bit of balance with this. Of course, you know, I'm a part of a ton of WhatsApp groups, but I'm not every day. I'm everyday on WhatsApp because messages come in all the time, but I'm not one who's always posting and then wanting people to reply back and all of that, because it can really take over your life, especially being, you know, in some people are in hundreds of Facebook groups. How do you keep up with all of it? It's just too much. You know, declutter some of these groups. And of course, we have a Facebook group ourselves. We are delighted that we've got so many people in our Facebook group, because we feel that our Facebook group gives a sense of community to people, but we sometimes have people join who are already part of 600 groups. And I'm like, I don't even know how you've got the time to do all of that. You need to pick and choose, right? Yeah,

Speaker 3  19:58
and I think it's. And I think, you know, in terms of the procrastination that. So there's a couple of things I want to talk about. So WhatsApp groups, for example. And of course, you know, just we know that WhatsApp is not a massive thing in the States, actually. So they barely use WhatsApp. They use more messages. And so the same thing applies to that. But you know, you can put things on mute. And so I've got a very so our rock wire group has got loads of stuff going on. There's hundreds of people in it every day. There's loads of activity when people fancy it. I can't be distracted by that stuff during the day, so I'll have that on mute, but then I catch up on it on a certain point of the day and have a look at what's been going on. So because I know that I'm not really going to miss anything if it's just five seven hours. And so do use the opportunity to put things on mute, even if it's only temporarily. And WhatsApp will allow you to mute it for an hour, mute it for, you know, 24 hours. Think mute it until tonight. So look at your own behaviors, because if you're anything like me, as soon as I see a notification pop up on my phone, I'm looking at it, and so I need to put plans in place to try and stop myself from being distracted. So use technology because it's so fantastic. There's do not disturbs on your computer. So embrace technology a little bit to try and help yourself. That's what's really important. And also wanted to talk, then again, about our Facebook group and how that links into decluttering, I think, and we talked about it with other social media, because it's it's really educational, it's motivational, it's inspirational. And you can get stuck going down a rabbit hole with Facebook groups taking all of the inspiration and motivation and education on board, but not getting to the doing and not getting to the action. And so look at those behaviors and go, am I just fully embraced in a Facebook group of any kind, not just ours, and is that actually stopping me, because I'm more trying to be motivational to other people and all those kind of things, am I favoring that inspiration to other people before putting myself first and putting the work in. So again, you know, this is going to sound like we're being really judgmental, and we're not. We're it's this is just all about looking at things and going, okay, how can I change this up a little bit? Because this is really not working for me.

Speaker 1  22:16
Yeah, and I think this is really linked to our number five as well, that we can sometimes really get stuck into the researching of the best decluttering and watch all the videos, and watch all the methods, and watch all the ideas and tips, and go down a Pinterest rabbit hole and watch cleaning videos on Tiktok and then check If it's same on Instagram, instead of just getting started, you know, just get a cloth out, a damn cloth with a bit of soapy water, you can start dusting down your house. Or you can just get that Hoover out and Hoover that room, instead of thinking about it all the time, because the thinking takes so much time, you're better off doing it. So sometimes we can get really down that rabbit hole of I'm gonna, I want to learn about it and know about it, and all the ins and out and all the details, and I want to do it perfectly and all of those things. Instead of you go, you know what, I'm just going to go for it and just use 10 minutes or 15 minutes and just do get this. Get this done will not be done perfectly, but Done is better than perfect. And get something else, you know, ticked off the list for today. So because again, reading and watching videos and reading about it and all of that time just evaporates, I think

Speaker 3  23:36
again, it's about finding balance, isn't it? Ingrid? Because you know that every all our methodology is really about, you know, doing the thinking first and then doing the doing, but it's when do you when do you stop that thinking and that learning, that educational piece, to start taking action. So it's a balance between the two, but it's about knowing your own behaviors and knowing when you're you know, we've got people in our membership who are like, I'm doing all the videos and all of the stuff, but I've not got around to doing the doing yet, and recognizing that in themselves and going, I've got to just know that I've done enough now, and it's now, it's time to move on to action. So it's finding that balance we don't want people to just jump in. And it's different, if it's cleaning the cupboard, you know, than doing a whole decluttering project. Again, it's about evaluating your own behaviors and knowing when it's too much to do.

Speaker 1  24:23
Yeah, so let's do a little telly. Lesley before we go on a break. How? How are you doing?

Speaker 3  24:30
Well, we're talking about whether you know this is in the none of those things are bad, but it's in the context of whether or not it is stopping you from being productive or having time that you could be doing something more productive. So I'm definitely taking social media. I definitely, definitely waste way too much time on social media. I'm not going to take it for Duolingo, because that's just I do about 11 minutes a day, but I do do it every day. I'm not so I'm not going to that's not stopping me from being productive. Of daytime TV or spending too much time on TV, is a no. Being in forums and Facebook groups, I'm going to say no, and definitely research is a no. So I'm actually only going to take one. Wow, I do all those things, but they're not stopping me from being productive?

Speaker 1  25:21
Yeah, I think I'm the same. Definitely Scroll, scroll social media. That's definitely I'll take that on just like you. My one word search every evening before I go to sleep. I don't count daytime TV, no, but I do like to watch TV in the evening, but I always pick something that I want to watch and learn something from it, as well being informed in Facebook group. Well, I do that for work, but not I mean, I'm not really in groups a lot at all, and also researching, I just get started. Wow, that's not bad. But I do all these things. But I think the one that's, that's, that's, that's too much, is the scrolling, for sure. So let's go for a break, and let's see what else we've come up with after the break. Okay, we're back. Uh, let's dive straight in. Lesley, number six of I think

Speaker 3  26:13
it's fair to say we're going a little bit deeper this time, aren't we, than the the than the obvious. So we're going hard deeper in the second half. So I think that number six is really about those meticulous planners. It felt, it felt it fits into our number five, really a little bit. Are you that person that makes detailed to do lists and spends ridiculous amounts of time on them, but doesn't ever get around to doing the doing so this is the kind I mean, I used to do all the time, you know, and doing exams, and used to put used to put your revision timetable together. And I would spend like hours putting, like, a, really, a revision timetable together, and never actually doing any revision. My kids, like, I could see it in my kids when they were doing the, like, GCSEs and stuff. I'm like, it's obviously going down. I think it's, like, a common thing, right? You're like, yeah, my timetable together. And think about how I'm going to do that. And some of that is useful. Of course, you need a plan where big advocates are planning writing, great, yeah, but you got to know when your planning is a little bit excessive, and actually you've got to get stuck in so it's the same as what we were talking about, really. Number five, so are you that person who spends copious amounts of time writing, detail to do list down, yeah, the detriment of the actual task itself.

Speaker 1  27:25
Yeah, definitely. So do you do that now? I mean, you said you were doing it when you were in in school. Do you still do this now? Or have you changed? Well,

Speaker 3  27:34
you know, not, not from a personal perspective, from a work perspective, I do like to get my ducks in a row on things you know, you Ingrid will know, on a sauna and things like that. Sometimes I will procrastinate over tasks by trying to look through a sauna and making sure everything is as it should be. But typically I do that when I've run out of steam for more productive or creative work. So I know when I and it's things like that as well. Is it is? It's reading your own behaviors and your own energy levels and going, you know? So if I got to write an article for a newspaper, I can't do that four o'clock in the afternoon when I've been working all day. So four o'clock in the afternoon, if I still want to do another hour of work, that's when I might faff around with an Asana list and make sure it's all capitalized. I mean, I'm a I am a nightmare on I feel like capitalized, you know, detail, really, and that kind of stuff. But it's all it's with a good intention, and it needs to be done. Yeah, but yeah. So I don't think it's excess, excessive, but I can, I could definitely see myself procrastinating over tasks by doing to do lists. Yeah,

Speaker 1  28:44
yeah. I'm thinking because I do love a list, but I'm not like making it like perfect and having the all the things. So I'm really looking at myself and thinking, do I do this instead? I mean, of course, I procrastinate about doing something on a regular basis, because we all have things in our heart really regular basis,

Speaker 3  29:05
really regular basis. And it's really, really obvious what she's procrastinating over, because eventually it comes back to me, doesn't it? They'll sit there for like, three or four weeks and then it be like, yeah. And I was

Speaker 1  29:19
like, I just don't know how to do that, but I don't make a detailed to do list, but I do like a to do list. So okay, this is linked to number seven, actually, as well, right? So people who kind of when they've got a calendar or a list, and they keep rewriting it, and then they color coordinated, and they make different lists and move tasks around and go. My Lists are not working for me. I need to change it up, and I'm going to do it now per room instead of my house, or I'm going to do a weekly shopping and a daily shopping and an occasional shopping, and they keep just rewriting the same. Over and over again. Instead of going, let me just tackle a couple of these things, so I don't even have to go on the list in the first place anymore. So I can actually get some stuff crossed off, or it goes from a paper list into a digital list, and then the real they don't like the digital list, and they go back to a paper list. And it's like, just use some of that time. That's absolutely, you know, look at the list. Can I delegate? Can I delete? Can I do some of these things? What's crucial? What can wait? Because if we have such long lists, and we need to have it color coordinated and perfect and with with little stickers and marks, and it's like so much time gets that takes up,

Speaker 3  30:49
yeah, and I think it's the kind of you know, and you need to look at yourself as to whether you're actually writing, you know, getting new notebooks, thinking that the notebook situation is going to fix the problems about getting the stuff done, so thinking that the list, the calendar, or the notebook, for example, is going to be the thing that navigates you forward. And so I think it's recognizing those behaviors in yourself, because it's something that we see quite a lot, isn't it that there's more emphasis going on the list making than there is on the actual doing. And again, as with all of these things, it's about balance. Because we need those lists. We need those Asana lists to be in order. You know, you need your Ingrid's obsessed with her calendar, getting the timings exact. So whereas I'll just put AM, do you know what I mean, or whatever, Ingrid's like, obsessed with it. Well, it says 1030, to 1145, and we will not deviate from that time. Do you know what I mean? And so I think you know. So it depends on what works for you, but all of these things are fine, as long as it's not stopping you from being productive. That's the point. You know, if you love a list, if the lists are working for you, if you love the detail of that, if you love to color, color coordinate it, color code it, go for it, but recognizing yourself, whether it's holding you back from actually getting stuff done.

Speaker 1  32:13
Yeah, definitely number eight, oh, overthinking things. We see this a lot, right? And I think this is really where the well, they they think people think themselves into like problems sometimes, or they try to think it out so far that their whole brain just gets like I've become and I'm confused now I'm overwhelmed, because they try to overthink it, where the best place for the stuff to go is which container they're going to use, which label they're going to use when they got to find the right time for it, when they've got and they think and think and think and think, and they start to procrastinate, and then the perfectionism kicks in, and all this overthinking is not helping you with getting some of this clutter out. I

Speaker 3  33:09
think it's important as well, though, to recognize that overthinking is part of neurodivergent behavior as well for a lot of people. And so it's not as easy as saying you can't overthink it. And so I think, I think it depends, you know, again, it's about recognizing that behavior. Because even if you are neurodivergent and overthinking is definitely a big part of ADHD and autism is what strategies am I going to try and employ to try and move through that? So it's just as important for your neurodivergent to try and work out a way forward. So, yeah, really, really important. But a lot of people overthink the project and with all of the things that we've been speaking about now, planning things, you know, making to do lists, all of these things, they all kind of blend together into one big kind of overthinking, trying to do too much planning before you actually get done. And so it all all links into perfectionism, procrastination, all of these things that really, really hold lots of people back when they've got clutter. So recognize that overthinking. Take a step back and go, where am I getting stalled in my decluttering journey? What is it that's causing problems to me, and how can I make steps to try and fix that, whether it's to try and close some time back from that time that you're spending on social media, or whether it's something a little bit deeper, like, you know, trying to tackle or trying to find strategies around your neurodivergent behavior,

Speaker 1  34:35
definitely going on. To number nine, Lesley, what we see a lot as well is that people try to get organised and get decluttered by buying boxes. So they they buy containers, thinking that that will solve their clutter problem, and because they think they see their house with clutter, and they think, Okay, what am I going to do? Let me buy some boxes. So actually, I can get more organised, but we know so much from experience that buying boxes is not the be all and end all. Yes, at some point you might want to buy a few boxes that make sense for the space and the stuff, and that need to have the right sizes and the right dimensions and the right container. But you can't be on the beforehand try and buy boxes if you've got a lot of clutter, because what you're doing is basically buying more stuff, which is what we don't want you to do, and you're just trying to squeeze everything more neatly in boxes instead of decluttering it. And the only way, if you're feeling overwhelmed in your house is actually by letting stuff go and not by make putting it neater and tighter into boxes that you've bought, you know, and

Speaker 3  35:54
with that recognition for so many people, that light bulb that goes on when people realize that all they've been doing for years is organising rather than decluttering, is a big one, and this fits into that, doesn't it? And it's so common because the stuff's just not going out, it just gets tidied up, and then it's but it's still overwhelming because it's still too much stuff, and so we never break the back of it. So you know, again, try and recognize those behaviors. Are you actually ever decluttering anything. Your decluttering is, there's lots of things involved in it, but if we want to simplify, it is letting something go from your house. So organising is where you make it tied. You both are just as relevant in a decluttering and organising journey, but you've got, you've got to have both to make it work. And so, you know, buying boxes is, if you are kind of, oh, I'm going to declutter this weekend and I'm going to pop to IKEA and buy boxes, that's the first kind of sign that maybe your focus is slightly in the wrong place at this time. So leave that organising boxes till much later, when you know exactly what you want to keep and what you need to store. So yeah, if you're a box buyer, that may well be sabotaging your decluttering success, because all you're doing is organising it, and that box allows you the opportunity to hide it away and to not make the right decision.

Speaker 1  37:09
Yeah, yeah. And that's what we we see it all the time on our socials, Revelation, the people, the comments that people send us, the messages that our membership, in our membership, yes, for years I've not been decluttering. I've just been organising and moving stuff from one room to the other. But nothing has left my house, and now I'm starting to see that how important that is, before I can do the other things so very important number nine, last one, is waiting for the right moment waiting for that long weekend that you've got nothing planned. I mean, do you ever have a weekend with nothing planned? Lesley, I can't remember when I had a weekend with absolutely nothing. There's always something to do. But if you're waiting for that ride, for the weekend when I've got nothing planned, you can be waiting for a long time, or that whole afternoon, or when it's a nice temperature and not too warm, or it's not too cold, or when the kids are not here, or whatever it is, you know, we can be waiting forever.

Speaker 3  38:14
I think it's, I think it's important, isn't it, to recognize that life is messy, you know, as well as our stuff being messy, life is messy, and you know, we've just got to get stuck in at some point to try and make the progress. And by doing that, we will then find the time, and we'll start to prioritize decluttering, and maybe that weekend where we've got nothing on, actually, we do have something on because we've decided and determined that we want to devote that weekend to decluttering, and so we clear everything else out of our diary. So it's a bit of a chicken and an egg situation, really, but so many people wait for the stars to align before they get stuck in and so what we're saying is, you know, it's all about this, like little and often scenario, not about these big projects. And I think, you know, the way you we see it, you know, at the end of the day, we are very guided by what we read. And we read magazine articles. We contribute to magazine articles that are written in a way that wasn't our intention, and people add things on. Talking about is this the weekend that you're going to do your decluttering? Of course, we can all and we do do that. We do spend time on weekends and bank holiday weekends and stuff decluttering. But we've got to try and find a way to fit decluttering into these busy weekends, into these busy weeks. You know when we were talking before about everybody having the same 24 hours in a day or not? Do you know what I mean? Everyone's got different pools. And if you feel like I have literally only got with when I do all of the things that I've got to do, I barely have an hour a day to myself. If you want to expand that time that you've got to yourself, what we need to do is we need to take chores. We need to take management of stuff out of the equation, which will then create more time in your day for the right things. But you've got to kind of go for it, put the work in now. To reap the rewards later. So yeah, waiting for the right moment is something that stalls people, doesn't it, and stops things from happening. So classic sort of procrastination, really?

Speaker 1  40:11
Yeah, yeah. So how are you doing? Lesley, with your with the next five any of because you said the beginning, I'm sure I've got more than Ingrid, but I'm not sure. Actually now, having talked through this list, how are you doing with the after the break? How many have you got?

Speaker 3  40:29
Well, I'm gonna, I am gonna go, I'm gonna concede that six. There are times when I could be doing something more productive, when I'm faffing around with to do lists, definitely not doing the color coding. Used to do that when I was redo my revision timetable, but I've moved on since I was 16, and don't really overthink anything. Literally, I'm a launch straight in and get the job done person. So there's no overthinking happening in my world. And definitely don't buy boxes, because that would not be good if I were a professional organiser and I was doing the very thing that we advise against, and do I wait for the right moment? Probably not, because I just dive straight in. So yeah, probably actually doing things at the wrong moment meant very often. So I'm just going to take

Speaker 1  41:19
one. I'm having a think, I don't really think I do any of these. I don't like buying boxes. You don't like buying anything in the first place. Overthinking. I

Speaker 3  41:30
think you do do a bit of overthinking for a work context Ingrid, yeah, you do. I'm going to give you that one, but not in a decluttering context, in a work context, yeah, yeah. You know you do there are some tasks that you have that you're like, oh, just gonna, just gonna scoot that down on my detailed to do list. Just gonna scoot that, just gonna rewrite it up on the next day's to do list and put it to the bottom of my list because I'm overthinking how hard it is, and then you just get it done. No, it's not like a big red flag. Do you know what I mean, but it is, if I'm gonna give you one, I'm gonna give you going to give you that one, you're more of an overthinker than me, because I'm, yeah, let me think about that. No, let's do that. Yeah,

Speaker 1  42:13
that is true. Actually. That's maybe, maybe it's good that one of us is a bit of an overthinker and one of his like a crazy let's just jump straight in person. So we're making a good team. Lesley, but we know that, right? We know that listeners, I mean, otherwise we wouldn't have been going for like, eight years in the declutter hub, so Wow. Well, I've enjoyed this, but, yeah, I don't know if our listeners would have enjoyed it if they've been like, that was a very big mirror, ladies, that you've just held up. I'm not sure if I like what I'm seeing here. I am scrolling on media. I'm doing the the little pouring of the fluids in the different cups. I am, what, lounging on my sofa all day watching Dr Phil and the Auction House and the properties abroad of that. So if that's you, Oh, can you put a play? Can you put a baby? Bit of a plan in place and kind of and be honest with yourself and go, actually, I do do this thing. And what the nice thing is, a lot of times people comment on our on our podcast, and we get emails from people saying, Oh, that was a bit hard hitting. But our members also, you know, because we posted a membership about the podcast, and they make us holistic writers, a detail is saying, Oh, this what I'm doing. That's what I'm doing. That's what I'm not doing. So they also do a tally about themselves for us. So can you what can you do a tally with yourself and be honest to yourself? And can you put some plans in place to stop you from spending too much time on all of these things? You don't have to go cold turkey. You don't have to go I'm gonna go do nothing. Just

43:47
excuse me.

Speaker 1  43:50
Just a little bit less will go such a long way to getting you where you want to be in your house. So yeah, I think that's it for this week. So thanks very much listeners for being here. We hope you've enjoyed our kind of different 10 Things podcast for this month, but I've enjoyed it, so see you next time.

Speaker 2  44:17
Thanks so much for listening to the declutter hub podcast. Don't forget to subscribe to us in your podcast player so you don't miss an episode and we'll see you next week.</div>
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Episode 418 – Nesting isn’t just for new babies

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