Episode 331 – Breaking through your ‘just in case’ mindset

There are 3 little words that underpin most people's struggle with clutter at some point in their life. And those 3 words are “ just in case”. In today's podcast we’re going to give you some advice on how to break through a just in case mindset and make solid decluttering progress.
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Transcript of this podcast episode
00:00
There are three little words that underpin most people struggle with clutter at some point in their life, and those three words are just in case. In today's podcast, we're going to give you some advice on how to break through a just in case mindset and make solid decluttering progress.

00:32
You're listening to the declutterable podcast bringing you tried and tested no nonsense tips and advice from the leading experts in decluttering and organizing your home. Now, here are your hosts, Ingrid Jansen and Lesley Spellman.

00:55
Hello and welcome listeners. I'm Ingrid and I'm Lesley. If you're new to the declutter hub podcast, you're so welcome. What you'll find is that we try and find a fun factor in the serious business of decluttering, and if you've been here for a while, you know exactly what we mean. So thank you so much for listening. If

01:15
you'd like to get involved in conversations relating to this podcast, it all takes place in our Facebook group. So come and join our lovely, warm, supportive community. To find the Facebook group, go to declutter hub.com, forward slash group to find out more, or you can search for the declutter hub community on Facebook. Hello,

01:34
Lesley, well, how often do we hear I'm just going to keep this

01:39
just in case, because you never know I might

01:42
need it one day. I mean,

01:46
hundreds, 1000s of times we've heard that, right? We've

01:50
heard it so many times it can. As we said in the intro, it's like most people will say, utter those three words at some point during their decluttering journey. And it's important to evaluate how that holds us back and keeps us stuck. If we kept every item just in case it might come in one day, then we would be paralyzed in our decluttering decisions, and we need to work through that, don't we? So it's interesting really Ingrid, because so I don't know whether people understand the way that our podcast planning works in grid. But basically we have a list of ideas. We come up with ideas, and we go, yep, that's what we want to talk about this week. And just in case, was on the list. And so we were like, right, okay, so we planned it. We went through everything that we were going to talk about, and then we went, I wonder what we wrote in the book? Because so basically, I don't know whether anybody knows or not. I'm sure you will have heard by now that we have a book coming out at the end of February, reset you at home, which we are very, very excited about. And we have a section in the book on just in case items. And so Ingrid was like, why don't you read it out? I was like, yeah, that's not a bad shout, Ingrid, let's do that. And so that's what we're going to do. So we're going to read out the little excerpt from our book coming up, reset your home, unpack your emotions and your clutter, step by step. It'll feel for the way that it's all written and everything exciting. I'm like, a bit nervous to, like, read it out like the first at public outing, rid of the book, and then we are going to talk things through. So we're not just going to read the book for the next 300 podcasts, because we want you to do that for yourselves, and we will continue to our podcast in our normal way. But for today, we thought that would be a good shout right Ingrid. So here we go. So this is in the indoor storage areas chapter. So we have a chapter on indoor storage areas. So all those storage areas in your home, like lofts, attics, basements that are not outside with like garages and sheds and all that kind of stuff. So we have an indoor storage section. We have an outdoor storage section, and this appears in the indoor storage chapter. So here we go. It's time to talk about keeping things, just in case. This emotion pervades cluttered homes everywhere and is a tough nut to crack when an item isn't in day to day use anymore, we consign it to the deepest, darkest depths of our storage area. Our storage areas are a catch all for just in case items, so the time has come to dig deep and truly challenge our thought process. If we were to really ask what we mean by keeping something just in case, would we be able to truly articulate its future purpose, it's unlikely because it's an arbitrary decision based on a whim, and that goes completely against the grain of making a controlled, intentional choice to keep something just in case items are kept out of fear of making a mistake, nervousness that our circumstances may change, or vivid memories and guilt about issues that have arisen in the past,

04:43
those dining chairs we kept just in case we ever decide to take upcycling as a hobby, that rah rah skirt we kept just in case we ever decide to go to a fancy dress party that's 80 steamed that appliance box we have kept just. In case we run into issues when we have to return it because it's developed a fault. But how do we move past the lore of just in case items? It's all about evaluating the pros and cons of keeping something and feeling in control of the decision you are making. Once your decisions become intentional, most of them will be the right ones, but occasionally, you may let something go that you later discover would have been helpful. It is natural that when you are embarking on making decisions about a lifetime of things, something might slip through the net. On occasion, don't allow this to be a setback, we need to be brave and confident that letting go of a surplus of items will allow us to find and cherish more important ones. Trust us if you do have regrets about decluttering something and it's a rarity, it's never a just in case item, it's almost always a sentimental item.

06:06
The book is out there in the general public, Ingrid,

06:09
I know. And the nice thing is, we did an audio book as well Lesley, so people can now hear how our voices sound, which I think they already knew, because we've done like, 330 podcasts. But still,

06:21
it was exciting. So that's an excerpt from our book, from the indoor storage chapter, and that gives you a feel for what we talked about, how we talked about, just in case, items in the book. But let's dig into that a little bit deeper Ingrid, because that's what that is, what this podcast is all about. So we want to talk about a few things that might hold you back. We talked about in that in the excerpt from the book, we talked about the fact that it's met. We we need to make intentional decisions to keep things. That's the That's the crux of why adjusting case item is not useful, because we can't make an intentional decision about it, a controlled decision about something. That's what we're urging you to do in your decluttering journeys, to feel control, that the decisions that you are making are the right ones for the time that you make them. And so I think one of the things that we talk about all the time is, you know, we often live in the past and for the future. So what we mean by that is we keep things from the past sentimentally, we keep things for the future, definitely, just in case, but what we truly need to embrace and why we don't need just in case items is our current lifestyle. The vast majority, majority of things in our home need to be for today. Need to be used, loved, needed on a daily basis or a weekly basis. We can't just keep things for no good reason just because we think they're going to come in at some point, right?

07:47
I know, and I think that can really give people stuck right, because they always wonder, well, and you never know when I might need it one day. And it's like, yeah, but hold on. You want to have the stuff in your house that fits in your current lifestyle, that fits with the current you, that fits with the current state of your family and the people are around you and the place where you live. You know, when you're in a small apartment, you can't keep loads of stuff, in case you might one day have a bigger house, or you can't go if you're thinking about actually going to a smaller house, try to cram a five bedroom house in a two bedroom apartment, because just in case, I might need something. No you need to think about which items fit currently in my life and are are helpful to me, because all this other clutter can really keep you stuck at where you are and where you want to go to

08:41
absolutely and I think that often when we're keeping things just in case, it's part of a scarcity mindset, isn't it? So this often comes into play as well. We fear that we're not going to have the resources or the money available in the future to replace items that we have bought before, and so we almost need to, we need to with that. We need to change up our thinking a little bit, if we can. Sometimes it's difficult, right? It's very hard to shake off a scarcity mindset in good rider, if that's come to us from a period in our life that we were, you know, we we underwent poverty, we had less, we didn't have what we need. All of those things, of course, like all of the things that happen in our life have a bearing on us, and they have an impact on us that affects our current thinking. And so we're not saying, oh, forget about it. Just money doesn't matter. That's not what we're saying. But we need to think about it. We need to think about it. We need to establish that that's the emotion that's holding us back, if it is a scarcity mindset and look at the reality. So take that scarcity mindset and go, Okay, I know that that happened then, and I know where that feeling is coming from. But is that the reality today? If I needed to buy this thing that I am keeping just in case that's in front of me again, would I be able to and that's a really. Useful question, and for most people, particularly people with clutter, they can buy those things again, because they are in a cycle of purchasing items as they go along, which is why they've got a clutter problem. And so I think that it's hard to have, you know, a scarcity mindset is a difficult one to work through, but embrace the realism, you know, sit yourself down, give yourself a little bit of a talking to and go. But is that the reality? And is that scarcity mindset holding me back? It's really important, right? Ingrid,

10:28
yeah, definitely. Now, another way to look at just in case items, is to ask yourself, like, what is impacted if I keep this item, you know, does it have a bearing? Of course, it has a bearing on your space in your house, but also that all these just in case items may really contribute to the feeling of overwhelm that you have, or maybe all these just in case items prevent you from having people come into your house or having people stay over. Maybe the thing that you want most of your life is your grandchild to have a sleepover at your house, or your friends to come around for a coffee, or maybe, you know, you live with somebody in your house who actually really struggles with all the items, and you could clinging on to all these just in case items, while your partner is like, can we just please get some space here? I we want. I want to be able to do other things now, in my current life and for the future, I don't want to hang on to all these things from the past that we're holding on to just in case. So there's a lot of things wrapped up in just in case items. Yeah, absolutely.

11:31
And then going a little bit deeper, we've got safety often is impacted if we've got loads of stuff around the house. It impacts safety as well, and it kind of it perpetuates that feeling of shame that many of us feel about the clutter in our homes, and those are the things that we want to try and eradicate. So you've been with us a while, so you know, we have a firm belief in emotions. First stuff second, this is all about asking yourself what it is about your emotional connection to that item that is holding you back. And so sometimes that, just in case, might go a little bit deeper. But so you need to try and work through that, to work out what it is about this item that has a hold on you, because that's what it is really. They were talking before about intentional choices and making control decisions. We don't want stuff to control us. We want to be in control of it. And so it's really, really important to understand what it is about that item that makes it so difficult for you to make what seems as if it might be a completely rational decision. So a lot of these, just in case, items seem irrational. But what is it about that item? What is it that's so special about that item that it's causing us to be paralyzed in our decision making? Really, really important. So always keep that front of mind, emotions, first stuff, second. Why are you holding on to these items that you feel that you probably don't need?

12:49
So now we're getting more clarity about the emotions that sit behind this just in case stuff. I think it's also important to realize that when you are working through just in case items. What we often see is that people are just not ready to make a decision on these items, and that's when they become just in case items, right? So what we see is they find something in their home, maybe in the living room or in the bedroom. They think, I don't want to have it now, I don't think I need it, but I'm not ready to let it go. So instead of actually letting go of the item, which feels possibly the right thing to do in that moment they go, let me just put it somewhere else. I can. I can put this baby in the spare bedroom, or, you know what, I could put it in the basement, or I'm going to put it in my attic or in my loft, or it has to go, I know it has to go to the recycling center. I'm giving away to somebody. I'm going to put it in the garage, ready for it to leave my house. So it becomes delayed decision, because that ready to leave the house, then it's not a I'm going to declutter this, and it's going to go. It is a delay decision. And then what happens at one point, you're going to go back to your garage and go, Oh, wow, that item is still there. What did I decide I was going to do with this? And you're going to have to do the whole thinking process again, which is, of course, exhausting,

14:16
just in case, items are exhausting to work through, because there's so many of them, if we're being honest, which is why it's such a problem for so many people. So we need some practical advice for people as to how to move forward from this. So let's head for a break and then come back in a moment. Welcome

14:30
back to your just in case podcast. Are you listening and thinking, oh my gosh, my old house is full of just in case items. Have Ingrid and Lesley been at the house? We hear that all the time. Don't be lazy. Have you been in my house? How do you know all of this? We know we see

14:47
everything. Don't we Ingrid, we see everything. We know those just in case, items are there for sure. But how do we actually make steps Ingrid to try and let go of these just in case? I. Items? Well, I think first of all, it's all about your goal, isn't it? Now we've spoken many, many times about big picture goals, which is all about visualizing what it is and why it is that you want to declutter your house. You know, Ingrid talked before about people wanting to come in for a coffee, wants to have your grandchild over to stay, whatever your version of that is, that's what you need to keep uppermost in your mind, because where that's going to take you is it's going to take you to a decision about, okay, I have to press on trying to make decisions, trying to understand my emotional connection with these things in order to make the progress that I need to achieve my goal. And so it's really, really important with all decluttering, not just just in case items, to have a big picture goal. So that big picture goal absolutely could be something to do with people coming over. It could be wanting to renovate your house. It could be as simple as wanting to get time back. It could be that you want to do a new hobby, that you want to start cooking a little bit more, that you want to save money, generally, that you're looking at budgeting there are, there are a myriad of big picture goals. And we would, we would urge you to look at a big picture goal for your entire house. So what does a declutter house look like? What does that mean to you? What would that look like to you? And also then to break down that big picture goal as you're working through your home, room by room, and have a big picture goal for that individual room as well. Really, really important to sort of break down those goals, to have a kind of wider vision, and then to go a little bit more granular room by room, right? I

16:43
think it's really, you know, an example that I can give is, for example, if you've got a room, and it's kind of a dumping ground at the moment, with all these just in case items and then some and you've kind of like, oh, I would love to have a craft room, or a room where I can exercise, or whatever it is. It doesn't matter what it is. You can ask yourself with every time when you see an item go, does this item go with the vision that I have for this room? Because this just in case, item is holding me back from what I really want, and that is to be able to have a desk next to the window where I can craft or draw or paint or knit or whatever it is. And this item is not helping me towards that goal. And if you just keep moving stuff around from place to place, you're just churning all these items through your house, from from the room, and it was in to the to the dumping ground, to the to the room of doom, room to the garage, and it never leaves. So you're always these items are standing in the way of the life you want to lead, essentially. So that can be really help, help you. Okay, you've got my you. I've got that big picture goal. I've got that goal for that room in mind. Do these items fit with that vision? I

18:01
think the thing is, Ingrid, we can be forgiven for thinking that we come across one item and thinking, Oh, that's not really going to have much impact. But the problem is that just in case items build and build and build and so then you have a collection of items, and that's so one item on its own is not going to stop you from achieving your goal. But if you've got multiple or hundreds of just in case, items that's going to be the thing that stops you. So we always urge you to slow down with your decluttering, take it one step at a time, and really go in on a granular level, to identify what the emotion is that's holding you back, and make that intentional decision that we spoke about in the excerpt from the chapter, and right at the beginning when we were talking about it, make those decisions intentional. How is this going to enhance my current life? Yeah, and if it's just something that's for the future, and you're not quite sure what you're going to do with it, and you're like, oh, not sure. Just feels like the wrong thing to get rid of it, that's not an intentional decision, you know. That's just a kind of, you know, arbitrary decision on a whim that we spoke about. And so it's really important to see that the results of actually leaving things to one side and going, Oh, it's just okay, it's just one, it's just one, and those one become 10, become 100 become 1000 and that's when we've got problems, right? I think it's really important as well. When you're when you're doing your big picture goal, you assign a big picture goal, but always visualize the freedom that decluttering is going to offer you, because, you know, we've said it so many times, nobody is ever, ever, ever disappointed by decluttering. It's always a positive outcome. Everyone is like, this is amazing. I've got freedom. The process might not be positive for a lot of people, the process is difficult. You know, it tests relationships. It tests your energy, it tests your time, all of those things. It can feel like a completely thankless task, but when you get to the end of a small project, a room or your whole house, the benefits are so beneficial that people absolutely love it, and nobody's ever disappointed. We've never had anybody go do. Know what? England, realized that you told me to declutter my house, and I can't believe that I did that, because I hate it. No one, no one. The feeling that decluttering brings is one of freedom, and so we need to remember that all the time. I think it's going to give you more space, it's going to make things easier to clean. It's going to save you money, because you're not buying duplicates. All this mental clutter weighs down on us, and to to let go of that, and to let go of these, just in case items and all the other items to boot, is going to really kind of just enhance your life, right? Yeah,

20:34
yeah, definitely. And I think if you're thinking to yourself, but I've paid all this money for this item, and that's why I can't let it go. Maybe a question to ask yourself is, if I didn't have this item, but I would have the money, now, would I buy it again? Wow. You might think, Oh, well, no, and then that's your answer, then I would not rebuy it again. So that can be also very helpful if you're struggling to kind of go through the whole decision making and the thinking about it, like, where do I want to go? Would you buy it again if I had the money for it today? Absolutely, yeah. Or is

21:14
there another way of getting securing that item? You know what I mean? So we can borrow stuff. You know, we had a question the other day, didn't worry about somebody who said, you know, only once, once a year I have like, 15 people around for dinner or something like that, but I'm keeping so much stuff that's like overwhelming my space for this one meal. You know what I mean? And it's like, borrow the plates, you know, just say, I really want 15 people to come around for dinner, but bring a plate and a glass that I don't have to keep people like, course, you sent a dead What's up to me and said, Can you bring your own place? I'd have to keep all that cool in my house. I'd be like, of course, of course, I can. Like, What? What? How is that hassle? It's not hassle for anybody, but we overthink these things. There are other opportunities. We can borrow things. You know, the world is changing now, and people don't want to continually buy, buy, buy. So we are encouraged to share a little bit more, you know. We're sharing things on apps like OLIO, so we're taking other people's things that they don't need, you know, and these things, and that's also very positive byproduct of decluttering is to be able to hand something off that you kind of a little bit nervous about letting go of, and see that it's gone to a good home, as another thing we see all the time. You know, giving something, giving something a second life, particularly if it's to somebody that you know, or somebody that can appreciate it, is such a lovely feeling. I remember last year I had some, I had some football nets. You know, those pop up football nets that you, you know, that you have in the garden when your kids are, like, little, and so it being there and in a way, and I'm kind of times ticked on. I'm like, Oh, I really should probably keep those gonna have some grandchildren in at some point. I might be 10 years away, and I'm keeping these huge nets and and I was like, just let it go. Can I buy the nets again if I have grandchildren? Yes, I can. So why am I keeping these things? And so then I put them on earlier, and a mum came around, and she brought a little boy. She had not told him at all that that's what he was getting. And he was absolutely delighted, delighted. And that was like, That was everything to me, you know? I mean, I sat in my basement for 10 years, probably in 10 years, ago, it's a little bit, you know, it's not great. Anyway, we'll buy your own one for Christmas or a birthday or something. Anyway. Do you know what I mean? And

23:26
so or or Lesley? I know impossible thought, but maybe your grandchildren don't like football. I know, I know Steve is going to spit out his teeth, but it's possible. I mean,

23:42
neither of them like football, I

23:44
know, but that's Yeah, exactly right, you know what I mean. And so it's things like that. And so to the joy that comes with giving something away to somebody, and things like OLIO, which is a UK based app, we think, but we think it's expanded to the rest of the world, we keep getting kind of conflicted information about whether it has or not. It's perhaps not as prevalent everywhere else as it is here, but OLIO is massive in the UK. Other things are available, free cycle, free goal Facebook groups, all of those buy and swell, buy and swap groups, all of those kind of things have the same thing, which is to give it to somebody who really wants it. And that's what's amazing, right? Yeah. And

24:21
of course, you know, there are loads of items you can donate as well. But indeed, with something like football nets, like OLIO is like, the perfect thing, but, you know, create a don't, you know, adopt a donation mindset. Do you want to be going, Okay, I this just in case. Item is no longer doing it for me. What am I going to do with this next and not just move it to somewhere else as a holding place? No, I'm going to take action on it now. And that's why it's so good to have all these different resources at your at your kind of fingertips, like I've got the OLIO app on my phone. It's so easy snap a picture. I had a couple of things a. Last week, snapped a picture, put it on tiny description, and I went, you can pick it up. You know, within the next three days, between nine and nine boom. And within, honestly, within half an hour, I had somebody I would love to have this Gone, gone. They look at

25:15
you within three days. I'm literally like, Okay, I want it gone by, um, six o'clock tonight. I I'm here between six and 630 you want it, you gotta come and get it, because I want it out three days, like 12 hours per day. Nope, you really want it. You gotta come and get it now, because I

25:33
want no but I mean, I mean I do the listing for like, three days, because the original thing is that the list is like 28 days. I'm like, I don't want to have listened for 20 days. I want to have it gone within three days. But then I always say, you know, let me know when you can pick it up. You can pick up with nine and nine, and then they normally come. I can come this afternoon. I'm like, perfect. So no, I love it, you know, but it's really nice to

25:54
We should totally be on commission for earlier. Yeah, yeah. We absolutely love it. We are on no commission. We need to do that. Write that down angry. We need to be on commission for earlier, like, get a little cut of everybody's sale. That would make us rich, right? You got, like, 10 p for every Oh, they don't sell anything. That's, no, it's free.

26:16
But I love seeing, you know, they've got these lovely badges, you know, wow, you're, like, a super poster. I'm like,

26:25
realizing, we do realize that they say that to a lot of people. I know

26:28
this doesn't matter. Oh, I am the only super

26:31
poster in southeast London. Just me, like standard,

26:36
no, that's not what I mean. But it's really nice when the app just gives you, then the little pat on the back, right, or you get another you're like, you get another batch because you've posted like, 10 items in a row. It's fantastic, but you, and that's what I'm trying to say, you need to celebrate the wins. Celebrate the wins, because you should be proud of yourself for for decluttering and organizing and making your home work for you. And even if it's you know, you know, whether it's football nets from the garden or some decorations from my wreath that I had on my door at Christmas, it doesn't matter what it is you are clearing some stuff from your house. I easily could have held on to those wreath bubbles. And, oh, is that

27:23
what you did? Oh, that's, that's something. So you did go down to a granular level on that. So you had baubles and little kind of acorns and stuff now, Pan cones, yeah, stuff like that that you had on your reef. And you strip those off the reef, because it was a, like, a natural wreath, yeah? And, yeah, oh, good for you. Good for you.

27:39
And I thought, am I a wreath making person? Absolutely not.

27:45
I was in a workshop, and I actually did a nice job, gonna be honest.

27:49
And then I thought, well, this wreath now is its time is up. It's did a lovely job for me over over the holiday period. Do I see myself making a wreath by myself with getting moss and things and tweaks. And I'm like, that's never going to happen so, but I could have easily held on to adjust in case. And I thought, No, I just absolutely

28:10
that is a classic example of a just in case item at and that would be it is the perfect place for us to close out this podcast with your your wins, with your Christmas Wreath bubbles Ingrid, well done. You

28:22
Exactly. So has this podcast made you think to yourself, Oh, my word. My whole house is just in case items, I need to do something well, listeners, we hope that you have enjoyed this podcast and that you've also been excited to hear kind of a sneak preview about a part of a chapter in our in our book that's coming out. It's called reset your home, unpack your emotions and your clutter, step by step. It's coming out at the on the 27th of February. It will be published by Bloomsbury, and you can find our book on Amazon if you go to declutter help.com forward slash book. So thanks so much for listening, and we hope to see you next week.

29:15
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Reset Your Home

Unpack your emotions and your clutter, step by step
