An image of our guest Christina Rudes wearing a hat being kissed on the cheek on either side by her children
Episode 313 – My decluttering journey with Christina Rudes

From time to time, one of our lovely Declutter Hub members shares their story on the podcast. Christina is only a few short weeks into her journey with us but is already making big breakthroughs. So today we’re here to talk about what it feels like when you decide to take the plunge into unknown territory and commit to a fresh way of thinking.
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Transcript of this podcast episode
00:00
From time to time one of our lovely vehicle to have members shares their story on the podcast. Christina is only a few short weeks into her journey with us, but is already making big breakthroughs. So today we're here to talk about what it feels like when you decide to take the plunge into unknown territory, and commit to a fresh way of thinking.

00:26
You're listening to the declutter hub podcast, bringing you tried and tested no nonsense tips and advice from the leading experts in decluttering and organizing your home. Now, here's your host, Lesley Spellman.

00:49
Hello, and welcome, listeners.

00:50
I'm Lesley, we're delighted you're here to join us as part of your decluttering journey.

00:55
So whether you're brand new today, or have been listening for ages, we want to say thank you so much for being here. It means so much to Ingrid. And now that you turn up every week to listen to and support us. While we talk all things decluttering and organizing. We'd love to help more people with their quest for a clutter free Herman our podcast is a fantastic way for people to be inspired to take action, we have a favor to ask. If you like what you hear, be sure to hit the follow subscribe or like button on your podcast player. share us with your friends, or share your thoughts on the podcast by leaving a review. Hello, hello, and welcome Christina to the podcast. I am so happy that you're here. And Christine has looked terrified to be here, up until now. But we've had a big long chat. And now she's really happy. And she's going to be amazing. So thank you so much, Christina, for taking the time out of your day to be on the podcast.

01:47
Thank you so much, Lesley, I really appreciate being invited. I'm super excited to be here.

01:52
I know. So the reason why you're here and really is because it's so I'll give a little bit of background to the way that I love Christine's to be on the podcast. So you joined us a few weeks ago, couple of months ago now after the clear, right your clothes challenge. And it appeared to us that you completely immersed yourself in the learning in the declutter hub membership. And you were very, very insightful. And we're making breakthroughs right from the start emotionally. And I loved that it had come so quickly. And so I really wanted to quite often when we talk to members, we talk about people that have been on a decluttering journey for a while and the breakthroughs they have made over months over years sometimes, and yours is a little bit shorter. So I just want to tell a slightly different perspective on what it's like to be a decluttered member and the journey that comes along with that. So Christina, tell us a little bit about yourself where you're from, and things like that. Let's get started right at the beginning. Sure.

02:49
Um, so Lesley, I currently live in South East Georgia and are actually North East, northwest Georgia. I have been a declutter, I've been on a decluttering journey for, you know, almost 15 years on and off. I'm not really sure how it started. But I just remember coming home one day feeling overwhelmed by the amount of stuff that seemed to be in the house. And I just started, you know, going into closet into closets and just throwing stuff out in. I was frustrated. And I was angry all the time. And I just felt trapped. And like I couldn't take a deep breath. And so I really, you know, looked into it, I read a few books, I you know, check stuff out online, I really even thought at one point to hire a professional organizer. And you know, there were a couple other books and programs that came out on the market. So I started, you know, delving into that. And you know, at the time, I had a daughter, she was four and I was expecting and so I didn't know if it was tied to some sort of nesting instinct or whatever. But I really walked into my home one day and I decided, hey, I need a clean space, I need to everything needs to have a place. I'm going to have another baby crawling around here soon, like how do I get unburied from all this stuff. So I've done it a couple different times. I was previously married, and I was married to somebody who was a collector. He liked to collect things. I like to collect things. And so one day it just it just came to a head and I had to I had to make a change. I had to make a change. So I found you guys on Facebook to clean out your clothes challenge and I was like, You know what, let me do this. I mean, I I know I've done it before, but I'm looking at my closet and it's not overstuffed or anything like that. But I just feel like there's locked energy here. There's pent up energy that just needs to be released. And so I said go into it with an open mind. Yes, you've done it before, but go into it and see If you can pick up any new tidbits of information, and I did, I mean, I loved that, you know, you said, Hey, listen, don't take everything out and try to sort through it. Like let's, let's go and organize it. Let's put everything together like with like, and then let's do it at section at a time. And I love that you inlet and Ingrid were so loving and supportive. It was like you were a friend trying to be encouraging rather than some sort of drill sergeant coming in and saying, Nope, doesn't fit throw it away. Nope, doesn't look good on you throw it away. You know, it's, you know, you really worked on like, why are we holding on to this or, you know, that type of thing. So,

05:38
I think it's important for us to try and to get the information to come from you rather than from us, we can guide you down a certain thing. And we know logistically what works. We know what becomes overwhelming for people. But it's all about your journey really, rather than ours. And I think that's the important thing. So you've talked about the fact that you've been on a decluttering journey for some time. So How old's your daughter now? Just to put things in perspective. So she's 18. Now you've got another child as well, right?

06:07
Yes, my son is 14. He'll be 14 next week. Right. Okay.

06:11
So you're right in the throes of teenagehood. And your daughter's about to flee the nest and go off to college? Right? Yes. So when there comes a transition all of its own that Yeah. And do you feel ready for that? And do you feel like the stuff is a part of that?

06:27
Yes, actually, I do feel ready. I mean, I think I've known their whole lives that if I do my job, right, they should want to leave me. I fully expected to, I fully expect to hold on to yearbooks, and awards and a few stuffed animals and maybe some treasured items. And I, you know, they both know that our long term goal is not to stay in this, you know, stay in this big house and keep their bedrooms as as museums for them. But it's also their home, and wherever we go, that will always be their home. And actually, this challenge came at the right time, because she ended up finishing high school and graduating. And I said, Well, we're gonna have to, you know, pull out the stuff that you want to take with you to university, and then you know, we'll deal with the rest of it. And then at the same time, coincidentally, we decided to change the carpet. So it really sort of expedited all the things because we needed to pick everything up. And she spent three to five days going through everything in her room. And she said, Okay, Mom, this is the stuff I don't want. This is the stuff that I want to keep in my room. And this is the stuff I want to keep. But I don't necessarily want to keep it in my room. Do we have a space for it? And I said, Yes, let's go through it. And I was surprised she was able to part with a great many, I would say sentimental items. And in when I asked her about it, because I wanted to understand, do you feel pressured to get rid of this stuff? Because we're doing this? Or you know, are you tired? Are you, you know, and she said, Nope, I kept the one thing from this event that I did, or this time in my life, I kept the one thing. She said to me, and this was very insightful. If I hold on to everything, nothing will be special. And I was like, wow, okay, this is my 18 year old, coming to grips with her things in her attachments. And we boxed him up and let them go.

08:24
So it's a really good thing that you've done that at this time, because this is a you know, we talked about transitions all the time, and those transitional things that happen in life. And, and this is a wrench, you know, when Ingrid is going through the same thing right now as well, because her son's just on his way to uni. So I think that, you know, it's a big thing. And you actually your instinct as a mother than, or as a parent is not necessarily to want to let those things go at this stage because you want to kind of preserve what went before. You know, I'm thinking that it's all about the stuff because it's I mean, it's certainly one of the toughest things that I've gone through I remember it you know, it's it's hard, not to me, but I think for your daughter to have that insight and for you to be brave enough to go through that process with her now will reap dividends in the future. So well done for doing that. But don't please don't feel that now she's 18 That she's that that set because honestly, like Yeah, I'm still going strong, like still going strong with these kids at 28 and 25 and 21. So you kind of almost feel I think that as a parent you kind of think if I get my if I get into 18 then it's kind of not job done almost but you've done your bit and then it's over to them but honestly it just carries on and the problems get bigger let me tell you the adult problems but yeah, but it's nice but it's but the stuff is a different thing because it does then sometimes become it starts to become a little bit of resentment. Sometimes with the staff here I've still got with my my eldest son, he's just about to buy a house and I cannot wait to be able to offload those boxes that have been like waiting here for years. I'm like when it's when flowers come in, so I can move them something else. So you right in the middle of a transition, which is an interesting time to do it as well.

10:04
Yeah, it, you know, what I'm finding is even though I have studied and read and tried different things, and I'm very familiar with, like the emotions attached to things and the decluttering, and so forth and so on. When I joined the challenge, I really leaned in a really, because I had the time and space to do that I really leaned in and I got clear on what I wanted from my work for that particular challenge my wardrobe. I mean, I'm very blessed, blessed question mark are blessed exclamation point, I'm not sure. But I have a big wardrobe, I have plenty of space. And my partner, he needs this much space. So the rest of the closet is mine. I mean, I could fill it up if I wanted to. And I think I did in so when I said, Listen, you're going to have to go through this because for the last seven years, you've not had to wear any of these things, and you keep holding on to things just in case. So I thought I could do it in the five days, I couldn't. At the time, our air conditioner upstairs, broke down. And there was no way who was going up there during that time. So during that time, though, I did make a mental list. I wrote down some questions. I wrote down some statements. I literally took a whiteboard and say, Okay, does it fit? Does it look good? Is it flattering? Do you like it? When was the last time you wore it in? I went through that process probably twice. And I finally got my closet curated to where I feel really good about the progress. And then I repeated it with folded clothes, and I repeated it with shoes. And it's been very eye opening, like when you actually open these things and look at them. And maybe the ones that you know that you where you set those aside, save yourself some time, the absolute nose, don't even look twice at it and just in let it go. And then there were then there was a pile and it was a bigger pile and I thought of maybes. And the one thing that I think about and I read about on the forum and all these other things is what if I regret giving it up? Right? I think that's common, would you say that in your profession, you run into that. And I can tell you in my 15 years, there has only been one dress that I wish I had held on to. And the reason I got rid of it was because my post bought it my post baby body did not fit into it. Now, three years later, I could have gotten back into it. But here's the thing. And it was the dress was still in style. But the thing was, is what I have wanted to wear it again. And so I figured you know 1000s of items, probably okay, maybe not 1000s. But hundreds of items that I've gotten really good of it over the last 15 years. And there was only one that I regret. And I don't even I don't even want to say regret, it was just the one that keeps popping up. Yeah,

12:59
keeps popping up in your mind. I think it's a really interesting point that you raised there. And I want to talk about that a little bit. Christina, who talked about the fact you've got a sizable home with a nice big closet, and should you then make different decisions. So if you are somebody in a smaller property with less space to work with other decisions, actually any different. And so in principle, you should have to, you know, the emotional connection to stuff is the same. And you should go through each item in the same way. But the reality is that you can allow yourself the benefit of the doubt a little bit more if you've got a little bit more space, but it's still worthwhile not trying to fill every, every closet in your house, it's okay to have empty drawers, it's okay to have empty cupboards. And that's something that people need to tune into. If you've, if you've spent a lifetime with a lot of stuff with stuff like this kind of stuff, too, that you have drawers and closets are stuffed to the rafters a little bit. It can be really disconcerting for a lot of people to see a drawer space and not to fill it. And so that's something that we have to we have to lean into that with with our teacher and say it's okay to have empty braid. It's okay to only have you 50% of your closet fall. And that might be something that might be a goal to work towards in the future for sure. But it's interesting thoughts because people think, oh, there's not a problem because I've got space and actually you still need to take a step back and go. But do I actually want it? Am I wearing all those things that you mentioned that you when you went through after the challenge all the questions and stuff that you wrote down? So meticulously? I think those are things so I just wanted to just lean into that a little bit. So yeah, so you've been on the decluttering journey for quite a few years. So what parts of it so I think you're quite tuned in to your emotional connection to clutter and that's definitely agenda that you're going on, on at the moment. So which of the emotions that you've got do you find most difficult or what what sort of part of the decluttering process do you feel has been the most difficult for you?

15:00
Oh, great question. I'm parting with items that are sentimental and or aspirational. So, for example, you know, by the way, I need a section on accessories in the library, scarves, hats, purses, sunglasses. I know, I could probably deal with those in the same way I deal with jewelry, but I pulled out all my scarves. And I don't know why I have probably 25 scarves. And I can tell you, I probably wear a scarf five times a year. So why do I have 25? Right. And that was one of the things that I went through. So, you know, your question was What, What's the toughest one, and it's aspirational and sentimental. So a few of the things I held on to because they were gifts, and I'm going through the phase now I'm like, am I still in touch with this person? Does this gift still hit me in the right way? Could somebody else use it? I have a scarf that one of my distant aunts knitted for she did it? Well, here's the here's the crux, she did it because she picked up knitting. And she saw me one day and said, Here's a scarf. So she didn't even really need it for me. So, you know, like really, grinding down to the crux of the emotions has been eye opening for me, my ex husband picked up a scarf for me that I love. But I don't wear it because it's too short. And so like, it's been on the maybe pile for, you know, three days now. And I have to and I keep having all these emotions like, well, he's given me other lovely things, he probably doesn't even remember that he got this curve for me. And I don't wear it because it's too short. So like, Let me release it and give it to somebody who can use it for somebody, you know, but that's, that's where I'm really struggling with. And then on the aspirational side is like, you know, if I have this vision of, of what I want my wardrobe to be, which is, you know, kind of a classic chic with a little, you know, maybe athleisure kick to it. Scarves don't fit into that. Yeah, they really don't, I mean, there, there might be like a Chanel scarf that I hold on to that would fit into that. And there might be like one that keeps me warm in the wintertime. But I certainly don't need 25. So that's where I'm stuck right now. Yeah,

17:24
it fits very much into what you were talking about before, you know, we were talking about if you've got space for it, and the thing with things like accessories, belts, scarves, sunglasses, hats, they don't take up a lot of space, typically. So therefore people got a well, I'll just keep it anyway, because it's not really causing any major problems in the same way that you know, a pair of shoes would cause more problems, because that the sheer volume of that is different. And so that's why, you know, it's things like that are actually once you start working on them, are actually quite straightforward. Because once you get into the mindset of, I'm only going to keep what I truly once and in love and all those things that you've gone through the emotional side of things. And it's actually quite straightforward. A lot of stuff will go to the screen because they are things that we've typically held on to things like socks are exactly the same. We actually keep on socks for that reason. So, no, that's really interesting. That's where you were. So how does your emotional connection stuff manifest mostly in physical clutter? So you've talked about scarves? You talked about clothes quite a lot. What about other things in your home? So where where do you see your biggest clutter problems and what emotional connection again with the other stuff in your home is holding you back notebooks?

18:37
Oh my gosh, Lesley, you don't even want to see my notebook collection. Like I watched Ingrid's little mini project. I'm like, Girl, that is not a notebook. Problem. And, you know, we might have to spend some time on this later in my journey when I'm ready. But honestly, I have like Look, I get the the notebooks that I can rip pages out and move those along. But I also have a couple of really nice journals that I've started to write in. And I'm like, does it make sense to rip them out and use them for note paper. So notebooks because I love pretty paper. I love it. Love, love, love pretty paper. And actually it's I have a whiteboard in the other room. I'll take a picture and post it for you. But I as I'm going through my decluttering process, I actually wrote down a list of things I absolutely do not need more of in notebooks, scarves, jewelry, shoes, black leggings, and paper are all on that list. And so every time I leave the house to go run an errand for something. I make sure I look at that list and say okay, do not come back into this house with any of those things because it's really to reinforce the good habits that I've been able to to acquire and hone in on right now. It has absolutely changed my body buying habits.

20:00
That's brilliant. And I think the interesting thing about that is that it's a kind of almost like a reverse intentional shopping. So we talk a lot about intentional shopping and, you know, making a list of what you should buy. But yours is almost the reverse, isn't it, which is right, I need to make sure I've got that mental note, before I leave the house of what I can't buy, you know, really, really important. So you've, you've done your inventory, we talked about it a lot with shopping and things like that. So you've done your inventory, you know exactly what you've gotten, you know what you don't need, and you need to go through that process of understanding what you need to know what you don't need, and what you've got too much up, obviously, you can pare down what you have. But if it's useful, you know, so things like toiletries, things like food it's going to come in, but just mean, so you know that you've got sufficient buy leggings, because probably you do wear quite a lot of black leggings, there's no point in letting go of them. But you don't need more. So that's really handy. And wherever you got that written, Christina, I

20:57
have a whiteboard in my it's a little covered up with other things, but I will, I will, I will take a picture of it in black leggings, scarves and black leggings, well, and I actually send out my black leggings. Because when I took all the leggings out, I was like, because I like to keep it simple, right? Black, so everything goes with it. I took out the ones that had no stretch left, I had took out the ones that I know that every time I have to adjust myself, I took out the ones that really don't look good on me, like there's some weird design on it. And I, I got rid of it, because I am blessed to have a washing machine and dryer in my house that I can do these things with and, you know, it's 100 degrees out here. So I could actually hand wash them and run them to dry. You know, so you asked me about how all of this stuff has kind of changed my thinking are manifested itself. And it's like you make do with what you have. And the other thing too is, I take better care of these things now because I have less of them to take care of. Right. And I am a little bit more grateful for not just the not just the possessions, not just the you know, endless supply of black leggings, but I just feel more gratitude for where I'm at in my life, right? I'm not exactly where I want to be on a decluttered face, but I'm like, Look at you, you get to do this today, look at you, you are able to say, hey, I can part with these black leggings. You know, look at you, you were able to say, okay, you don't wear these shoes anymore, get rid of those four inch heels, you know, you're not going to wear them, you know, you only want to wear trainers and Birkenstocks and, like, be good with it. I kept two pairs of high heels that are universal. And they will go with multiple outfits. And oh, I lied, I think I kept four pair because one is a super cute electric blue suede that I can't find any more. And I like it. So but you know, like notebooks, accessories. Let's see, the other area that you guys are going to have to help me with is my papers. I have a ton of papers, you know, I just sold my, my business, I've got some papers that I've held on to I work with a volunteer organization. And you know, most of this stuff is kept on my computer. But there are just tidbits of of papers and programs that my kids have been in and some that sort of thing like, do I really need to hold on to her fifth grade performance? Where she was jellyfish? Number three, I don't know. I mean, I'm struggling with that. But I know that I know, I don't have to deal with it yet, because I'm still going through the red pill

23:39
in all in good time. So let's go for a quick break. And we'll come back after the break and talk a little bit more about your decluttering journey. Okay, so welcome back, everybody. And welcome back. Christina, I really wanted to, I wanted to talk about the fact that I love the way that you're flipping things, to look at the positive side of things. You know, we have a kind of mantra, if you aren't, if you want to call it that, you know if in doubt, keep it. So we try and look for the positive sides of things. Because just reframing things into a positive mindset and not looking at decluttering in a negative way, is really helpful. So I love the way that you say how lucky am I that I can choose today to spend on a decluttering project? How lucky am I that I can choose to let go of these things. And of course, the kind of reverse intentional shopping, which we're definitely going to add into our arsenal. Now, Christina, now that you mentioned that, because I don't think we've ever talked about that before. I absolutely love that. So thank you so much for sharing that with us. Because I think that can be very powerful if people are in the right mindset where they love to look for the positive spin on things. And that may come a little bit later. And I want to talk a little bit more about your journey in the decluttered membership. You know, we talked about the fact that you've only been with us a couple of months, and that you've already made these great breakthroughs and another certain things within the declutter of membership that you felt were missing before, that you've really kind of connected to. So you want to share a little bit more about that?

25:08
Yes, absolutely. So one of the things that I really love about the decluttering hub membership is the success sessions. As soon as I joined, I joined one, and it was in the middle of the timer thing. And I had, I had read all the things, but I forgot what it was. And so I just kind of chimed in, I just tuned in a little bit to see what people were doing. And then I realized, oh, I need this in my life. And so I put them all on my calendar. And you know, some of them Lesley, or 4am, it might it were, Matt, were you guys do them. I didn't do that one, I didn't make that one. But I do make the 6am ones, I do make the 8am ones. And I love that. And what I love about it is there were tasks, I have five or six tasks that I try to get done every day when it comes to decluttering, like, still have my real life and feeding my family and all that. But I tried to have like five and there's like two or three that I just keep putting off, just keep putting off or putting them at the bottom of the list or finding something better to do. And so before every Success session, I make a list and then I go on before Ros even asks, and I post what I plan on working on because there it is in print, and I but I also know that the community is so loving and supportive that if I had to pivot, you know, there would be you know, there would be no, you know, recriminations or anything. But the success sessions have been game changing for me explain

26:34
a little bit about who doesn't measure in the membership. So success session is something that we do in the membership, we do them twice a week, in a group environment, where we literally come together on Zoom, and people commit to an hour of work. So five minutes at the beginning, where people share what they want to work on 50 minutes of working, and people just go off and do their own thing. And that can be learning something in the declutter bit can be reset in the kitchen, it can be doing a small decluttering project can be it can be paying a bill, it can be gathering your thoughts, it can be deleting emails, people do anything and everything. And so but mostly home related, and then come back at the end of the 50 minutes and just say, Yes, I did it or no I didn't. But as as Christina says, there's no pressure by anybody to do anything or to deliver. Sometimes life gets in the way and people leave. But they are very powerful in terms of accountability. So if you're that one person, where time just kind of hemorrhages away from you a little bit, and you need things to be scheduled a little bit more, they're absolutely perfect, perfect for that we also have, so we have them at different times of the day and days of the week, we also have something called a solo success session as well, which is where you can just use the same time and work independently at any time that you choose. So the solo success sessions have been a game changer. We've had them two or three years now I think at the membership, and they are something that really helps certain times the types of people who struggle with that accountability. So thank you for sharing that. It was funny, I was just talking to somebody this morning who said that they hadn't been to one and they were not quite sure what they would do. And it was somebody who said that she has struggled because she had lots of bits and bobs left from different projects, you know, she got a little bit of donation from here. And that little chore that had not been done at the end of that. And I sort of suggested, Why don't you use that 15 minutes to gather your thoughts together to write a list of what's outstanding, then you can clear the decks, then you can get started, do a reset and carry on some on with your next projects. No. So kind of finishing off all those kind of loose ends almost. So thank you for sharing that about the success sessions. Yeah. So anything else that you that you've really connected to

28:43
the forum, the membership forum. I, you know, there are different topics in there. And there's like a weekly challenge and those types of things. And they have been really, really helpful. And there's a member and I can't think of her name right now. But she does this thing where I was catching, you know, was catching up with her either on her July goals or something like that. But she posted what her goals were. And then yesterday was the 15th. So Ros poked us to update Hey, what kind of progress are we making? So I love that. But not only did she post what her what the updates were, she also wrote down her observations like what has she, you know, like, here are some changes that are happening as I'm doing this. And she's so eloquent. And you know, she is noticing the changes. So I started doing it as well. You know, the thing is, is everybody's journey is going to be completely different. I came into this with time, space and energy to do this. I know not everybody has that right now. Like people have kids or family members that they're having to take care of, or they have stressful jobs. And so everybody's journey is going to be different. So the one thing I would say is for sure if you're going if you're on a decluttering journey if you're Trying to make space for yourself, like really look at, you know, first listen to the podcast, definitely lean into, you know, the membership, there's so many options, you know to be flexible, but also schedule that time for yourself, you really have to schedule it. And it doesn't matter if it's one drawer or one room or one household, like, if you do something you're making progress. And I think like tuning in to what's happening to you as you find your successes is really important. And like if you get stuck, you know, reach out to people in the forum because they want to help you. And you might be helping somebody else by putting it out there, because maybe somebody else is not comfortable putting it out there or it hasn't really occurred to them. Or maybe they weren't able to articulate it. But you're like, that's exactly what I'm feeling right now. So I guess the biggest thing for me is the community just there's just a lot of nice people in there and who are really invested in your success. Because if you if they if they see your success, and they feel like they can do it, too. Does that make sense?

31:03
Yeah, absolutely, it doesn't, I think the form is going to be different things to different people. So for some people, it's a place to post, it's definitely, we've got people in the forum who like to post their own journey so that they can look back on it and see the progress that they've made. Because sometimes it's really hard to remember how far we have come. So I think it's useful from that perspective. So we do encourage people to do kind of monthly accountability. Not everybody does it. But some people really love that part of it and coming back and love the check ins from Ros or Ingrid in the middle of the month and the end of the month saying How did it go. But there's nobody going Oh, you didn't, you didn't do that, like shame on you. I'll just move it forward to the next month. But it just gives you that just that extra bit of accountability. And it's really about a lot of the declutter was about tuning into the bits of the decluttering journey that you've struggled with whether it and for some people, it's the knowledge. And so they, you know, the whole emotional connection to clutter is brand new. For some people, it's the accountability. For some people, it's the coming to the live sessions and feeling inspired by others. Sometimes people like to come to live sessions or be inspired by Ingrid and I learned something, ask questions. And so what we've tried to do is we tried to do all of the things, many, many different types of learning style. So some of them learned with most people, if that makes sense. So some people like a couple of the things, and you'd be really surprised actually, some people love the forum. Some people are like, never go anywhere near the forum. I'm just doing the roadmap, you know. So it's quite interesting to see how people learn and what resonates with different types of people. Now, I know that one of the things that you've done, Christina, which you've done really well is think about goals. And this was quite a new concept to you in the decluttering world, wasn't it? So how has he gone about goal setting? And why is that been so important for you? Well,

32:53
I think I told you guys on the beginning of the journey, I just came home one day felt a certain sort of way. And she'd be calling stuff hurling stuff into the trash can and, and it was like, Well, what was I working towards? Like, what was I doing was I trying to clear a path to the closet was, you know, in the, the truth of the matter was was I wasn't clear, and so it didn't stick. And so over the years, what I've come to realize is like, Hey, I visualize this space, where not every corner is, you know, crammed with whatever books stuff or whatever I dream of, you know, my partner coming home and saying, Hey, Christina, we're going to jump on a plane and go to the Grand Canyon. Let's go and know exactly where to go to pick up my one bag, my travel stuff and be able to go and lock up the door and know that everything is okay, because I don't need a passport to get to the Grand Canyon. You do but I don't. But you know, just that that type of thing I wanted. I wanted a free life. And so what it was like okay, well, instead of just going around and tossing stuff, like what's your goal? What is your idea would you know so I've visualized it actually did a vision board of what I want the inside of my house to look like I wanted did a vision board of what an outside living space looks like and they didn't all happen right away. In some cases. It took years to get the outside living space to look a certain way. I even did a vision board off to go find it of what I wanted my laundry room to look like. I wanted to know exactly where the detergent was going to go. You know those types of things. I'm, I'm a smudgy of a perfectionist and I have a touch of OCD so I'm trying to work with that in in you know good enough like I'm working on an on good enough. So when I but it wasn't enough to say I want my laundry room to be clean. I had to say my ideal laundry room is yellow because it's it makes it feels like sunshine. It has a flat space for me. To fold my clothes right then in there, so I'm not trying to haul it all all over the house trying to you know, find those things, my laundry room will only store my washing machine, my dryer, the things that I need to clean my clothes, and nothing else. And you know, I didn't move on, I want this outdoor living space to be somewhere where at least six people can sit and you know, put their feet up or we can turn on the fire table. I want the kitchen to be in such a way where, you know, when I'm setting the table, I go to that cabinet and I pull out all the dishes that I need I put go into that one drawer and do those things. When it came to my clothes. What do I want my clothes to look like? What do I want to feel like when I leave the door? Do I want to be fidgeting and having to target a skirt or making sure that my button doesn't gape? Do I want to do that, you know when I'm going out somewhere. So the importance of goals is not just to say I want this but to be really specific. And it's okay to rework your goals. That's the other thing I'm learning is it's okay to, to rework your goals to be more specific, or to completely go in a different direction. Because as you go through the process, you might say, hey, you know what, I'm really more of a classic chic Audrey Hepburn type, I'm a little bit more bohemian, and it's okay.

36:20
It's so interesting, actually, because I think a lot of people are like, Oh, that seems quite advanced, you know, talking about your vision board for your laundry room off your outside space. Seems quite advanced. But it's the very thing that's gonna motivate you for us. Now, some people if they're really struggling with clutter, can't see beyond so goal won't be that to everybody. But that's your goal because of where you are, and you want that ultimate goal. And then it's about breaking those goals down into something that's going to be able to be achieved this week, this month, this year, whatever, to get yourself that ultimate goal of what your laundry room is going to look like. So but I love that positivity. And you're obviously you're very insightful, Christina with your thoughts and thinking about how this process is going to work. And I think that's why you know, wants to just come on the podcast, because you, you probably think about things in quite a deep way. And so I think that it's really useful to, to frame those goals in a way that you you look for the ultimate your ultimate dream, pitch and, and it's not like oh, it's it's not about being yellow cotton, was it your kitchen or your laundry room being yellow, it's about, I only want the things in it that are going to serve me for laundry, or I don't want anything in my wardrobe that gapes or there's got a button missing or whatever that might be. So goal setting is so important. And the problem is, of course, when we first started decluttering. And we think we're going to spend some time decluttering. Today, we skip all of that preparation and goal setting and launch ourselves into stage where we're launching stuff into beanbags ready to throw away, and we and then we can't keep the momentum going because we don't know where we're working towards. So I love the fact that goal setting has become so important to you because it is the foundational part of a decluttering journey. And only when you get to those goals, you can look back and go, I did that and I got what I wanted. And therefore I did it in my laundry room, I can do that in my bedroom, I can do that in my bathroom, I can do that, again, or I can reframe my goals, I can think about what those goals are again, you know, now I don't want it to look like that. And I realize that that's not perhaps what I wanted. So what can I think of it's a little bit different, or whatever, as we transition, your transition as your children start to leave the nest, your your goals will ulcer because of that, you know, I mean, you might start to repurpose rooms, you already spoke about the fact that, you know, I'm sure you're gonna keep your daughter's bedroom for her. But you know, like, certainly, you know, we've also got, we had three kids here, my eldest son, now at 28, doesn't have a bedroom here anymore, because he's in his own gun in his own house. And so we kept it for a while, but now it's my husband's office, because that was more important, because we read in COVID, and all that. So we did yank it away from us. And it was, like, more important things to worry about, but you still got a bed if you want to be here. Do you know what I mean? So it's things like that. So I think, you know, thank you for sharing that because I think goal setting vision boards, whatever your goals look like written down, you know, magazine articles, whatever that is, ideas, write it down. So you've got a record of where you wanted to get to at the beginning because it can be really easy to lose sight of that.

39:23
Oh, absolutely. And it is so powerful and like everybody's goals are going to be different, right like so you said it earlier. I've been working on this for a long time for some people who might just be so completely overwhelmed. Their goal might be just to get all their dishes in the dishwasher today, and that is fine in and I think the other thing too is it there's something so very powerful about actually writing it down pen to paper, you know, typing it or plugging it in your phone. It works for some people for me personally, like I have to write it down either on a whiteboard or piece of paper that I I can carry around with me. I mean, I take, I took a picture of my whiteboard to say, Okay, we are going out to get these things, you are not bringing home these things. And you know, I don't even need the list anymore. But for the first couple of weeks, yeah, I needed the list. And it's so important to just go at this at your own pace. And if you come to us, I say us, like, I'm part of the group now. But if you come to us on the forum, and you ask for help, I'm gonna give it to you. And I'll give it to you and whatever level you want, because I know that without the support that I get from members in there or anywhere else, it's not going to happen. I am absolutely motivated, you know, by trying to help other people to do that in their way, right, not my way. That doesn't work. Have you ever tried to tell your husband to do something? No, you got to make him think it's his idea.

40:55
Exactly. So we're coming to a close now on the podcast? Is there anything else that you'd like to share with us? Christina? Before we go, really

41:02
mostly just, you know, if you're doing the roadmap, or if you were going at it at your own pace? Absolutely. Get do it. You know, make sure you get plenty of rest, take plenty of breaks when you can, I mean, break everything down into like five minute segments, if the if that's all you have, I mean, because you will build up to it. And I will tell you from experience, I tried to go off the roadmap and not prepare, you know, trade, didn't do all the prep stuff in it. It backfired on me when so you know, absolutely take the time to get your water, turn off the TV, get your bags out, you know, set it up, do your donation station, it's a game changer. If you do nothing else before you start at least get set up. I mean, that's my number one recommendation,

41:49
the problem is not sexy is it you know, getting benefits really getting water and turning the TV off is not the sexy part of decluttering we want to launch and and get those bugs out the door.

41:58
Lesley, if it's okay, I'd like to just say a few more things. First of all, thank you so much for inviting me on the podcast. And I was very excited and a little nervous. But, you know, I want you to know that I was sucked in after listening for the clean out your closet challenge. I was listening into the podcasts and everything. But it's it's it's the energy that you and Ingrid bring in what I mean by that is I could tell right away that, you know, this is this is very, very personally important to you. And I don't know if that's making sense, but I picked up on that right away. I think you mentioned to me before that the podcast is or the decluttering hub has been around for five years. And I am blown away by where it's at, you know, with the membership and all the varieties of ways of learning and, and holding people accountable and, and being supportive. And I think, for most people who are on some form of decluttering journey, the biggest thing that they're missing is probably accountability, real time and support. Real time, right, like anybody could go to a book and people can Google back to the book, or they can take a lesson or they can take a course or they can hire somebody. But what you guys have created here is something like hey, this is really important to us. And we're here to support you. And I know that there's so much that goes into supporting and in in keeping this going and keeping things fresh and the live sessions and the tech sessions and the the new lessons and the masterminds and things like that. And it's it's super impressive. And I don't know what else to say except for you know, coming across a little fan girl here, but it has absolutely transformed my life. It's helped me in my relationships, it both inside the house and outside, it has helped me understand myself better. And I think that's a lot of what people who are going through the decluttering process, whether they're brand new to it or have been struggling with it for a while or are almost across the finish line. And that is it's really about getting clear with with who we are in. So you know, thank you for so much for the support and the podcasts and the accountability and the success sessions. But really just the loving support the community that you guys have built, it is powerful, very powerful.

44:34
Can we cry now? Thank you, that's so kind of you to say I think it is, you know five years in or is it always gives us an opportunity to reflect on kind of what we have built and it kind of reminds me of the the first day that's going good and now it was like six years ago actually, when we decided that we wanted to do something online and it was so important to us that whatever we did In our one to one businesses that we could bring that to the people that we were supporting online, whether they were people that would listen to our podcast, listen to our free content in our Facebook group, or whether it was indeed people that, you know, took that one that plunge to go a little bit further and paid for extra support in the membership. And I think that it's important to us, because we just felt that, you know, our one to one businesses, we couldn't get to as many people as we wanted to help. And so it's so important to us to be able to do that week in week out with our free content, and with our, with our membership as well. So we're glad that it's hitting home, because it seems as if it's working, and we absolutely love it. You know, if we didn't love it, we wouldn't be doing it. We feel very passionate about each and every person's journey. And I'm so glad that you're a part of it as well. So thank you so much for being so gracious. Thank you for being here. And here's to the next five years of the decathlon. Oh, lovely members. So thank you, everybody, for less than and we'll see you all next week.

46:01
Thanks so much for listening to the declutter hub podcast. Don't forget to subscribe to us in your podcast player so you don't miss an episode. And we'll see you next week.
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Recent Posts
Episode 363 – Before you blame the clutter are you doing these 10 things?

Episode 362 – The Roots of Clutter: How Britain became a nation of stuff with Professor Jane Hamlett

Episode 361 – Decluttering for yourself – why Swedish death cleaning might not be for you

Episode 360 – Gretchen Rubin – The secret to happiness in a cluttered world

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Megan T says:

6 October 2024 at 9:54 AM

Hi Ingrid and Lesley. The more I listen, the more I enjoy! Thank you. Sharing and caring. Ideas and inspiration. I am finally back on the go with my declutter. I thought I had started, but have (re) started. 🙂 This time taking he emotional side into account. Wow! Thank you. It makes such a big difference thinking differently. Anyway onwards and upwards. Inch-by-inch. With a bit of creativity, I am even working out what the Podcasts are saying. Yes, I am actually enjoying myself on the declutter journey. Cheers, Megan – Bless you

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1. Ingrid Jansen says:
  
  7 October 2024 at 10:00 AM
  
  That is so lovely to hear Megan and well done for taking in the advice and moving forward one little step at a time.
  
  Reply
Episode 313 – My decluttering journey with Christina Rudes

Episode 363 – Before you blame the clutter are you doing these 10 things?

Episode 362 – The Roots of Clutter: How Britain became a nation of stuff with Professor Jane Hamlett

Episode 361 – Decluttering for yourself – why Swedish death cleaning might not be for you

Episode 360 – Gretchen Rubin – The secret to happiness in a cluttered world

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