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Episode 68 Blue Monday – fight or flight?

In this podcast, we talk about Blue Monday. is it just a media fad or are we right to be a little down?
The third Monday in January is known as Blue Monday and is allegedly the most depressing day of the year so shall we allow ourselves to be dragged down by the sentiment or fight it and start or New Year decluttering plans off with a bang?
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Transcript of this podcast episode
Intro  0:07  
Welcome to today's episode of The declutter hub podcast, your channel for super easy, no nonsense advice on how to declutter and organise your home. Please welcome your host professional organisers, Ingrid Jansen, and Lesley Spellman.

Ingrid  0:30  
Hello, and welcome listeners to Episode 68 of the declutter hub podcast. I'm Ingrid. And then lastly, if you have clutter and want to sort it out, this is the show for you, as well as the free resources on our declutter hub.com website, like the podcast checklists and guest blogs. We also have an exclusive area where we guide our members step by step to declutter their homes. We realise this can be very overwhelming. So we're there every step of the way. With courses, live q&a, and a community discussion. Take a look on members.declutterhub.com. In today's episode, Lesley and I are talking about Blue Monday. The third Monday in January is the most depressing day of the year. According to experts. We apparently have post Christmas blues with dread to cold nights. And we know our unpaid credit card bills are coming in. How can we debunk this idea and make this day we kick start action. Now, Lesley, this upcoming Monday is Blue Monday. Oh, are you dreading it? I'm actually fine. I'm feeling fine about it. But how are you? Yeah, no, I'm

Lesley  1:39  
not really Blue Monday person. It's another kind of media thing. Isn't it really, though, everybody a bit like Black Friday and Cyber Monday and cyber week. And there's all these things that the media kind of latch on to really, what I would agree with is that there is a general kind of negativity but Johnny was a bit for me, you know, no, this is not my I just find January a bit of a cannon there month, you know, you have a lovely time, don't you in December, and you kind of have to pick yourself up and really try and motivate yourself to get going in January, don't Yeah,

Ingrid  2:09  
January is I'm not gonna lie. It's not one of my favourite months of the year. But actually last year, I had a really good January, maybe it was because I was doing a dry January last year, I don't know. But I had a feeling I was like, wow, I could lots done. And it may be it changes per year. I'm not completely sure. But it is a bit like or, you know, we had all the nice stuff, we saw the family and we had all the nice things. And I miss my Christmas tree.

Lesley  2:35  
I think there was a psychological thing about January where we feel that it needs to be a kind of a reset month really the interesting thing for me about January and I do kind of hibernate a little bit in January, because I think you're so full on aren't you in December, that you really want to kind of like take a little bit of time to, you know, detox a little bit, whether that's food, drink money, whatever, you know, to just kind of calm things down after a crazy December. I've got this kind of strange thing really my mum, yeah, this is years ago now my mum died at the end of January. And so for me, it does bring back those emotions of my January being hospital visits and quite depressing. And so it kind of looms large. And I'm sure there are a lot of people who've got those kind of anniversaries and things. And because it was you know, my mom was diagnosed at the end of November and then died at the end of January. So it's very quick. So January is the month when she was poor like, and I struggled to forget about that, I think and so consequently, I do do a little bit of hibernation as I like to call it in January, then by the end of January, I'm definitely ready to get going and sort of kickstart myself back into action a little bit as well. It's not that I don't do anything in January. But I do find it a bit of a kind of depressing, but you know, just a bit of an authentic kind of month.

Ingrid  3:49  
I don't think you should forget about it at all. Actually, I think you think about her maybe more often, which is I think, a wonderful thing too. I mean, she passed away a long time ago, didn't she now? Yeah, it's

Lesley  4:00  
like 14 years ago. Yeah, yeah.

Ingrid  4:03  
So um, then thinking, what is hibernating mean to you? What do you do, then? I mean, do you really just sit on the sofa and do nothing? Or what? What does that mean that

Lesley  4:13  
I think it sounds very dramatic. I'm going to hibernate for the month of January. Even if you go out in January. There's just a difference that you know, this is not the end, the night itself should be fueled by alcohol. That's not what I'm suggesting. But when you go out even with a group of girls, and there's 10 of you and six of you are doing dry January, somehow it's just not quite as much fun as it wasn't. So I think there's a little bit of that. Well, one of my best friends, her birthdays on Christmas Day. And so for many years as a girls group, when we were celebrating her birthday, we would go out the first week in January. But after last year was the first year we were like, You know what, let's not do January, let's go out for your birthday in December, amongst all the other Christmas festivities. And it was much better just I mean, I just think this Just something a little bit flat people are not quite as up for it in January, because they're a little bit worn out. And I think it's important to have that reset time as well, isn't it? Yeah,

Ingrid  5:08  
I think so, too. I mean, I don't have a problem with that at all, I think it is really important, especially, is sometimes even already it starts in November, you know, so you've had a really busy six weeks, I think it's important to recharge the batteries, and to make sure that you are kind of charging yourself up for the year that's coming. And I think a lot of people go oh, but it's so negative. And I actually think it's quite a positive thing that you give your body rest, and that you give your your house a bit of a rest, then you should give your spending a bit of a rest. I think it's a good thing, actually.

Lesley  5:41  
Yeah, definitely is a good thing for sure. But wrapped up in this, then we've got the media storm of Blue Monday, I feel that that's only you did a little bit of research on it didn't hear before the podcast. And I feel that it might only be a kind of UK thing. And it might not be something that's in the rest of the world. So what does your research tell you about Blue Monday?

Ingrid  6:03  
Well, apparently, apparently, there is a holiday, I think it's called Martin Luther King day in January. So a lot of times, it falls together. So apparently Blue Monday is a UK thing. And what I've read on the internet, is that it actually was a bit of a gaffe of a travel company wanting people to book holidays. But it kind of as it goes with the sticks, it kind of took off a little bit, they made some sort of made up equation, that it's the weather and it's the money post Christmas blues. But actually, the idea behind it was that it's actually a great day to go into action and not see it as a negative day. But as a positive day. But as it goes with these things. Blue Monday sounds like a force far more interesting. So it probably got pulled out of proportion a little bit.

Lesley  6:52  
But if someone tells you that day is gonna be really negative, and gloomy and dark and horrible, you're gonna be like, Oh,

Ingrid  6:59  
poor third of the Monday in January is considered the worst day of the year. Oh, my god. That's so that sounds a bit dramatic, doesn't it? Well,

Lesley  7:09  
it's all a bit ridiculous, really, isn't it? I mean, they talk about it in terms of paying off your credit cards after the spending over Christmas. Because normally, I think people have about a six week turnaround on their credit cards between spending and paying the bill off. I'm pretty sure that not every credit card in the UK is paid on the third Monday of every month. I'm sure that credit cards can be paid on many, many days of the month. But anyway, so I suppose yeah, so it's an interesting one. Really, what's also wrapped up in Blue Monday is the fact that people say that they break their New Year's resolutions don't know that they've started in earnest, they've gone through three weeks of the month. And then they fail in to go to the gym, they're failing to be on a diet, they're failing to blah, blah, blah. And of course, decluttering is often on people's New Year's resolutions list. And so that's what we want to talk about really, isn't it? So have you gone the first three weeks of January in earnest? And now you're struggling to keep up? And how do you then keep up momentum to make sure this is not just a New Year's resolution, but it's a kind of, dare I say a lifelong resolutions a bit depressing in itself, isn't it? Definitely Blue Monday. But decluttering is a thing that you have to do your entire life. It's not something that is a one off project,

Ingrid  8:22  
what I've gathered from what you want to say this The decluttering and organising is a marathon. It's not a sprint. And people start with the best intentions at the beginning of January Gong, this is the year I'm going to sort it out. And then by the time it's Blue Monday, they've done like one half a drawer and they're like, oh my gosh, another thing I feel that I didn't do. And that's what we're trying to say is like, just because it's the third Monday in January, you've done half a drawer, it doesn't matter. There's still 360 33 days to go, you owe me there is still time to do it. And it is a marathon, it is not a sprint, you don't have to do everything within the next three weeks. You need to break it up in manageable chunks and use your smart goals to get those projects over the line.

Lesley  9:12  
Definitely. So how so how do you achieve that? So we talk it's quite broad, really I break it into manageable chunks. What does that look like? So a manageable chunk is going to be different depending on who you are, isn't it so manageable if you and I set to and do some decluttering what we would consider a manageable chunk. You know, we're probably fast, efficient and effective. We know exactly what we're doing. A manageable chunk could be a room in two or three hours, you know, whereas that's probably unlikely for other people who are not sort of proficient declutter results or people that have done this all our lives and actually do it for a career. So it's about knowing your own strengths and your own energy levels and things like that and being honest with yourself about that and celebrating those wins along the way. You know, we we talked about this all all the time, don't worry, you know, the challenge that we did a couple of weeks ago, we tackle on purpose, really small areas of the home, small areas that we know we're going to make a big impact. So we did things like I don't know whether anybody went through the challenge, but we did receipts. We did appliance manuals, cleaning products,

Ingrid  10:17  
light light bulbs, and we did wires, yeah, wires.

Lesley  10:20  
But all of these things we know are things that make a big impact. Because every time you open that drawer full of receipts or scattered all over the house, it's a little bit depressing. So these small areas can make a huge difference, a really huge difference. And so don't think when you make that resolution to declutter your home that it has to be, I'm going to do my wardrobe, or I'm going to do the kids play room, or I'm going to do my kitchen or my garage. These decluttering projects can be something as small as receipts, it's going to make you feel really good. Yeah, it's not going to create loads and loads of space in your house to be fair, but what it is going to do is going to give you Oh, I'm quite happy with that, look at that drawn out, isn't it, what lovely, and I've got all these things scattered all over my house. So it's not just big things, it's little things as well. And so celebrate those wins along the way.

Ingrid  11:08  
True. I mean, it can be a smallish, I'm going to do my purse today, I'm just gonna make sure I take just check that all the coins are in there that are from a currency that I'm actually paying with that about paper money's there, I'm just gonna have a look at some of my cards, are the cards still valid do so it doesn't have to be a massive, I'm going to do a kitchen project, or I'm going to do all my clothes. And that's what we're trying to tell you lovely listeners, it has to be small chunks. And I fully agree with you, Lesley, a small chunk is different for everybody. For somebody who's just starting out, it might just be I'm going to do my purse, or I'm going to look at my socks today. Or I'm going to look at my mugs, you know something small, I'm just going to pull out my 25 mugs. And those I'm going to do today. Because that's how you build up the stamina to do a little bit more next time. And that says, Well, what we're saying all the time, you need to take yourself out of your comfort zone a little bit. We know that it's hard, we know it's not an easy thing to do. But you also need to make sure that you push yourself a little bit and go you know what, last time I did my mugs. Today, I'm going to do the Tupperware oh my gosh, that's like my worst nightmare to Tupperware, that's what I'm going to do, they're really an offence yet. I really don't want to do it. But I'm going to do it anyway. Because the buzz it gives me it makes me feel really good when I've done this little projects.

Lesley  12:45  
Mental health is a huge factor in the decluttering world of something that stops people from getting things done. And so it's really hard to if you're somebody who's struggled with depression, or if you suffer from fibromyalgia, for example, as the two things that immediately springs to mind, and you struggle with your energy, what you've got to try and do when you're decluttering is just push yourself a little bit further than you normally would. And that might be five more minutes or 10 more minutes. It doesn't have to be by I'm going to do a full day because if you do do a full day, you then become completely exhausted. And then like that was such a negative experience for me that I'm not going to do it again for several weeks. And so I was talking yesterday, because quite often we talked to social workers and things that taught us about clients, don't me and I was talking to her. And she was saying the client that she wanted to refer to me was really struggling with fibromyalgia, and that she felt that she could only do kind of 30 minutes at a time. And so if you feel that you can only do 30 minutes at a time, just try and push yourself a little bit to 35 minutes. And then the next time you can think Oh, that wasn't too bad. And then you might be able to do 40 minutes. And the more time you do the more time you give it, the better because what that then means is that you can go through this cycle of decluttering where you get started, you know, we talk about it all the time, don't you need to get started, you need to gather things together, then you need to declutter, they need to organise think about storage. But the really, really important part of that is the enjoyment of the end result. And if you don't get to that enjoyment of the end result, which is why we're always so like, please try and finish a task. If you're doing a whole room, you're not going to get it finished. If I was going to go into a whole room today, I probably wouldn't get it finished. Because it might be too much for me to do in the time that I've got allocated. So break it down into smaller chunks. And if you get five of those things done in a day, you can say about I'm gonna start with the top drawer in my kitchen. And if you then have time you go around that cycle, you've done the top drawer, then go into the second drawer, you feel as if you've got time and energy to do that. So really think that through because you've got to get to that end point to motivate yourself forward to the next one. So it is a little bit about trying to take yourself out of your comfort zone might not be energy, it might be that you're struggling to make decisions. So try and be a little bit braver with your decisions. try and really, really drill down on the questions that you're asking yourself and the honesty and realism that you have with yourself. So really, you know, you've got to sort of talk to yourself a little bit and try and be braver. I think, I think that's the question. And that's the thing that brings results to

Ingrid  15:15  
two thoughts popped into my head while you were saying that Lesley. And I think, also, for example, the 3530 minutes, 35 minutes, 40 minutes. Even if you know, the next day, you can't go up to 40 minutes yet, but you can do another 35 minutes, that's a fantastic winner as well. So if you maybe are not ready to make that step the next day, but you can muster yourself and get so you know, I felt so good about it, I'm going to do another 35 minutes a day. And instead of kind of waiting another three weeks to do another 35 minutes. So I think that is helping as well, if you're in your home, to spread it out a little bit. And, and challenge yourself that way. And the other thing I thought, when you were talking is we are so hard on ourselves, we we always say Oh, I haven't done that haven't finished that didn't do that, I was so stupid that I didn't finish that. Instead of going, I did a really good job. I finished this drawer, or I've taken it out of the drawer today. Tomorrow, I'm going to do the next step. Or Wow, I've done this in this in this step. And later today, I'm going to finish anyone go me Go me, instead of always being so hard on ourselves and being negative, be positive about your wins and congratulate yourself and go you know what I now feel I can watch a bit of Telly for the next hour or so to kind of regroup, get some energy. But then I'm going to go back and finish this job. And I think that helps us when we're always so on and so negative about ourselves, I think it's really important to be positive.

Lesley  16:57  
And if you're that kind of person who who welcomes positive reinforcement from other people. That's why groups like our Facebook group come in, where you can post and say, look at this amazing job that I've done on this draw and other people aren't, you've done a fantastic job. And that gives you a real boost. And some people like that, and some people don't. But if you are that person, don't be scared to do that. And to get that kind of virtual pat off the bank, pat on the back from other people, because that's brilliant. Yeah. The other thing that I wanted to talk about actually, which was really, this is why I love our members really, because it's so insightful. And they go on a real journey down there. So one of our lovely members actually in the membership area the day posted about what she was going to do for 2020. So she has been working through the courses hasn't changed his talks with all the time about what she's doing when she's got one room in a house as a complete that she says is her kind of nightmare. And so what she's decided to do is she has given herself a challenge where she's breaking it down to she knows it's going to take forever, she's going to do 20 minutes a day for 20 days a month. That's her goal. I have a sneaky suspicion that if she does those 20 minutes a day for 20 days a month, actually, she'll get it done a lot sooner than she thinks that she will, because I think it's become this mammoth task for her, because she finds it completely overwhelming. But the nice thing and the and it's brilliant for us to see the insightfulness and the the light bulbs going on. And people are saying, Brian, I'm finding it so hard, I'm going to break it down. And I'm going to challenge myself to 20 minutes a day, 20 days of the month, give myself a breather. It's not I'm not over exerting myself, but I'm gonna go for it. And that's absolutely fantastic for people to see themselves. Break it down, Break it down, Break it down. You know, I love that.

Ingrid  18:37  
It's so interesting to see. And what you will see is that once you start to get slowly and surely you do those little chunks, it gets easier and easier. It is so interesting to see I had with my client yesterday, she's in England, I saw this room would take us like a whole day to short out. But it's only taken us two hours. And in my head. I've made it such a big thing while now and of course I was helping her. But because the work we've done in the past, she's getting more and more organised and more and more decluttered. So it's easier to put stuff away and more and more stuff finds a home. So the process is being sped up about all the hard work she's done in the past. And that for her was like an incredible lightbulb moment. She was like wow, it actually isn't taking as long. And that's why we sometimes say time yourself, or set a time and see how far you can get within 20 or 30 minutes and see how much you can do. And that's very interesting.

Lesley  19:41  
We tell ourselves stories all the time dealt with as a negative things we convince ourselves of things. And often those can be real barriers to getting things done. So it's interesting because you know, it's hard when we go around to clients and they're asking us for their help and they have got no idea whether a room is going to take two hours or two years. It just seems so so overwhelming, I wouldn't even like to consider putting on a time on it. And that's what's quite interesting, isn't it that people don't have any idea about how long something's going to take. And so that's where I break it down into manageable chunks. And then off you go, and you're just continually making progress and you can continue to beat yourself up.

Ingrid  20:16  
So

Lesley  20:18  
we are going to kick Blue Monday to the curb.

Ingrid  20:23  
I actually I actually don't really worry about Blue Monday too much I tried to kind of think about, I just the thing that I like about January is that I actually tried to do some paperwork, that's normally my mom's when I tried to catch up on my paperwork. So I don't file as I go, I have a stack of things that need to be filed. So in January, I take really time to short through some of my files and file away some of the paperwork that I've collected over a period of time. And that's my time to kind of, you know, it's cold, I don't really want to do anything outside or in my shed or in my garage, or I want to stay away from the fridge after December. So I don't do anything in my kitchen. I'm like, maybe I should do some decluttering in my paperwork. So that's my normally my job and I tried to watch your movies and sit on the shelf and have a bit of a rest.

Lesley  21:14  
I'm a bit nervous about the you don't file as you go and it's all piled up somewhere. I've got this vision of like a whole year's worth of filings sitting there somewhere waiting to be filed to January.

Ingrid  21:25  
Yeah, but I do that twice a year. Okay, but I don't I don't keep a lot a lot of it goes into shredder and goes and recycling and goes into so I actually don't keep a lot of paperwork. So you're, you're not you don't have to You're envisaging like this massive mountain of filing I jealously. I'm just talking about about 10 centimetres.

Lesley  21:49  
It is to practice what you preach in grid file as

Ingrid  21:52  
you go. I don't like to find this. I go and this is work for me. Oh, yeah. I know. But we aren't gonna do

Lesley  21:59  
show gonna be buried in paperwork for the whole of January pile in reams and reams of bills and things.

Ingrid  22:07  
That's not true. But I also do a bit of decluttering as well, kind of, I like to also spend a bit of time to kind of, you know, go to my to do paperwork and through some of the work files, and I always try to do a little bit of that around that kind of after Christmas. And but I also like January because it's like, okay, I need to get my house in order feeling.

Lesley  22:27  
Yeah, definitely. I mean, I love doing the challenge. That's what I love about the challenges. I write the workbooks and then actually go through the challenges myself, because it's like, really, all the things. I think it just right, the challenges based on things that I need to tackle in my own. To do this, get them sorted out. I'm just teaching myself how to declutter and getting myself motivated. So anyway,

Ingrid  22:51  
well, yeah, well, of course, I mean, let's be realistic. I mean, I hadn't done my manuals in a long time. So it was the perfect opportunity to do a bit of a clear out as well. Of course, this is not about perfection. And you know, this listeners, we are not about perfection. This is not about having everything in perfect order all the time. It's possible. We like to enjoy life and go out and do fun stuff and go for walks and go out with our friends and with our family.

Lesley  23:18  
We all sat on the sofa for the whole January. That's awesome. Yes.

Ingrid  23:21  
under a blanket watching Netflix.

Lesley  23:25  
Exactly. So that's that takes us right back to hibernation. Yeah, so So yeah, Blue Monday. We're not listening to Blue Monday are we're here at the declutter Hall. We are kicking it to the curb. And we are taking action and moving on decluttering journey forwards. Yes.

Ingrid  23:41  
So listeners, are you going to kick it to the curb with us? Are you going you know what January is actually quite a cool month. It's a great month to relax a little bit, have a rest. But also maybe think about even maybe you want to create a list of manageable chunks that you want to do and do one this weekend before Blue Monday starts and just go into action with us and we hope that we've made it a positive thing for you and that you're not going to flight but you're gonna fight yourself into action.

Lesley  24:11  
Right, Lesley? Yes. Flight and fight and flight and fly to fight? Yeah. We are going to fly not fight. Yes, is the word that you were looking for? I think

Ingrid  24:22  
Perfect. Perfect. So, listeners, thank you so much for taking the time to listen today. If you've enjoyed this podcast, please leave us a review. We love reading them to be honest with you. And it's so nice to hear your feedback and we read everything and we of course take your comments on board so please leave us a review and maybe tell other people that you really enjoyed this podcast maybe you know a friend or or a colleague or a family member saying you know what they would really like these. These to declutter hub ladies in their life and listen to our podcasts, we would love it.

Lesley  24:55  
We want 2020 to be the year that we go to the charts. Don't wear them I've been loving the we're loving the podcast charts at the moment. Oh, wait, yes, yeah, it's gonna go up. We want to go up maybe we're not gonna go to number one but we'd like to go maybe into the top 10 Which is

Ingrid  25:11  
great, you know, and we know that you you really enjoy the show because we get the feedback but leave us a review and tell us more. Of course if you'd like to get more tips and advice, please follow us on social media. We are on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook as at declutter hub. And Lesley mentioned the declutter hub community, our Facebook group, come and join us and join in the fun and get that pat on the back. If you've done a really amazing job with a drawer. We'd love to see you there. If you would like to know more about our membership, please have a look at members Delta declutter hub.com To find out more there. If you don't want to miss the next weekly episode, please subscribe to the declutter podcast on Apple podcast, Spotify, Stitcher and iHeartRadio. And we'll pop into your notifications each Friday. Thanks for listening and see you next time.

Outro  26:07  
Thanks for listening to this week's episode of the declutter hub podcast. Check out the declutterhub.com for more inspiration, and don't forget to tune in next week.
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